The Gift of Resilience
by KNeu21
Summary: Sequel to 'TGoMisfortune'-Set during NM-After waking up from a vision to find herself not only back to where she started, but having lost everything she loved, Leandra learns how to begin rebuilding the relationships she couldn't live without, and struggling to recall the details. All while trying to avoid becoming the monster she fears she's destined to become. RATED 'M'-COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okaaaay. Here we go yet again, my darlings. The first chapter beginning A/N. Let's see.  
Points I do want to make: This story is rated 'M' and for a reason. There will be themes throughout this story that do call for this rating, but I will put an important note above the chapter if it heads down a darker path. Just as a heads up. Like.. Uhm.. Ooh! This one.  
ImPORTANT NOTE!  
Unhappiness ensues in this chapter in certain areas. It's nothing too horrible, but I want to give you a small warning. It's not bad, but it's not rainbows and puppies either.  
Now. The:  
DiSCLAIMER!  
No part of The Twilight Saga is my property. I don't claim it to be. I never have, and I never will. All I own is Leandra, and the rest of the little people you don't recognize from SM's work. I only mix the two sometimes.  
Okay. Now that that wonderful stuff is over with, let's get down to business.  
**

**Chapter One**

I had a lot to get used to.

Things had settled down after awhile, and approaching the summer, it was much less rainy. My bruises faded, but as they did so, it seemed to make me more defensive. As if I were expecting them to be replaced just like every other time before.

I was grateful, however, for not having to start the school year here a month before it let out for the summer, but there was a reason behind that, instead of just being for my comfort.

As I had expected, Carlisle and the others were slightly more than deeply concerned.

Carlisle worried about what would happen if I were suddenly placed directly in the middle of a place like school, so it was discussed extensively about testing me. I didn't like the sound of that when I first heard it, and I hated it even more when I figured out what that would mean.

Because of my promise to end the lives of my parents if ever given the chance, and meaning every word I said on the subject, they weren't particularly eager to give me the chance to apply that to anyone else.

To me, I knew I was a bad kid. I knew I wasn't good for anything. I'd denied it for so long, but what happened the last time I saw my mother, I couldn't deny it anymore. I saw no reason to test me. I saw no reason they couldn't just take my word for it, to even attempt putting me into the position to hurt someone, but Carlisle felt confident that I'd be alright.

How wrong he was.

He'd given it time, I had to admit. He had given it time. Giving me time enough to adjust to being home, and being around the family first before being tested to see just how bad I was. None of them were comfortable sending me to school until I could pass this little experiment, or at very least, see how bad it got. I couldn't blame them for being cautious, but had they just taken my word for it, this wouldn't be needed.

They'd had a chance to see what I was like when I was angry, but they hadn't seen what I was capable of. Not yet.

The day of my first test arrived, and the best place to test me was at a particularly well-used park in Port Angeles. Lots of kids went there on a daily basis, and that made me nervous. I was stuck in the mind-set of me against all of them. Choosing to see those little bastards as a threat, instead of the possibility of making friends. That's how it felt to me, and I didn't like it.

Carlisle himself took me there. Just me and him, him only there to observe. It was up to me to prove to him that this wasn't a good idea, and that thought made me nervous. We arrived, and I almost didn't get out of the car. I hated it already.

At first, I stayed out of their way. I stayed beside him, watching all the kids from afar, until he insisted I at least try. I didn't know what to do at a place like this, and it bugged me that he'd choose to test me this way.

I counted nine other kids, parents scattered around watching them. I didn't like this, and I threatened to puke, but Carlisle didn't buy it.

I was nervous, but I knew I had no reason to be. I could take out any one of them if I had to. I hated other kids, and it showed. I took two steps their direction, until I turned back around and landed back on the bench beside him. Shaking my head.

Sitting there, just watching them. They looked around my age, but to me, they were completely different than I was. After enough encouragement, however, Carlisle made it seem like the easiest thing in the world to do. Just go talk to them.

"Do I have to?" I whined, looking up at him.

"It would be preferred." He replied, and I sighed.

That day ended with a talk to the father of two girls younger than I was. When I beat one in the face for trying to stick up for her little sister who I'd thrown sand at. If it had just been a slap or something, I knew their father wouldn't be as upset. Subtly, as I hid behind Carlisle, I tried to wipe the other girl's blood off of the knuckles of my fist.

The entire time, I let him handle it, because I was scared.

The massive difference between me and other children was clear in that moment. The moment I admitted to Carlisle how I felt. I wasn't sorry for doing it. I didn't feel bad for hitting someone else, but I was worried about what would happen because of it.

"You should keep that little animal on a leash." The other father had said before leaving, "She's dangerous." Shamefully, I looked up at Carlisle as he sighed and turned.

That was the first time he saw what I could do if given the chance.

The second try didn't go much better a week later, but this time I waited in the backseat of his car as he talked to the angry parents of the boy I'd hit. Probably just so I wouldn't have to hear the hurtful things they said out of anger. I couldn't blame them, because it was their kid I hurt, but he'd gotten too close to me. He'd accidentally bumped into me while I had my back turned.

He should have known to stay away, even if I never told him.

The third was a little better, as I didn't hurt this kid as bad. I only managed to push him before Carlisle pulled me away. However, the fourth try, this time around, was worse.

It was becoming clear that social situations just weren't my thing.

Anything having to do with interacting with anyone else was out of the question.

"Look me straight in the eye, Leandra." I'd heard that line too many times today, "And tell me the truth." It was Carlisle. I found it very difficult to lie to him, and he knew this. I rubbed my eye tiredly, sighing.

He'd already been talking to another set of parents when I managed to hit someone else. For telling me how horrible I was for hitting the first person. This time around, I managed to get hurt as well, when the other boy fought back.

That didn't make Carlisle happy in the least. Thankfully, it was just a bloodied nose, but it could have been worse.

Back at home, he hadn't said a word the entire way back. I didn't try to, either. I hated disappointing him, but I was the way I was, and I couldn't change it. Now that we were home, it was easy to see how much he wished I was normal, or could control myself.

"I _didn't_ hit him first." I mumbled, looking straight at him the best I could. He sighed, shaking his head, "He's lying. Just to get me into trouble, because I slapped his stupid sister." I grinned, "I think she lost a tooth."

Two days before my tenth birthday, it was becoming painfully apparent that I couldn't be around other kids, either. This was something that had been discussed over and over with me. Since my first test.

Since these tests started, I hadn't been sleeping very well. Time away from Jack didn't seem like time away from him, considering Jasper could help me with my emotions, but nobody could help me with my memories and nightmares at night.

Dreaming about him, and what my life had held only proved to make me bitter, and mean. Cranky, and irritated, that should have been enough to keep me from having to keep going through these stupid tests, but apparently, it was important. Something I had to learn if I was going to grow up normally.

Right. What a joke.

Carlisle was about to give up making me try, until the next day. One last try, he'd told me, and I thought I was in the clear. I'd just have to get through the day without some parent smacking me for knocking their kid's teeth out, and I'd finally be left alone on the subject.

It was decided that maybe, that park was too busy. I was shocked, surprised really that I was even allowed to keep going there, but today, Carlisle changed it up a little bit. He took me to a park in town instead.

Much smaller, and calmer.

We made it to the park, and at first, I thought the place was empty. I almost told him to take me back home, in full pout, but that faded as I spotted a couple of kids I actually did know.

"Hey." I called, running forward. Something I hadn't done yet. In any other tries, I'd always stuck straight to Carlisle's side like glue until he pressured me to try.

Josh and Zack both turned, smiling as they saw me.

I hadn't seen Josh and Zack since that day in California. The day I had to run from Ken's house. Ken, Jack's father, was someone I hated with a passion. I also feared him just as much as I feared Jack. Ken was the reason I had to run, but I did owe him. He was the one that showed me what it meant to finally have enough, and to finally make a decision for myself.

Despite the way I didn't like being reminded of that day, I still didn't mind these two.

The three of us hadn't had much of a chance to really get to know each other while I was there, but knowing they were in the dream-vision I'd had really helped with my own comfort level. From what I did know about them, their parents were good people, and they hadn't made me feel uncomfortable.

"Hey." Josh's eyes brightened, and he smiled at me, "Where have you been? We've been so worried."

I was a little surprised when he hugged me. I didn't think he cared that much, to be honest. I knew for a fact Carlisle watched me closely now, and I couldn't blame him. I didn't deserve to be trusted without direct observation. For all he knew, I could be fine one minute, then the next, I'd have a fist-full of blood.

"Uh." I murmured, glancing back at Carlisle, "It's a really long story."

Zack greeted me with a hug next, and I surprised myself by returning it a little.

Considering every time I'd hit another kid, it was because they got too close to me. I didn't like contact. I didn't like being touched, even if I knew it wasn't meant to hurt me. This was different.

"Hey, mom's right over there if you wanna say hi." Zack spoke up as he stepped back. I looked back to where he gestured, watching her already standing up.

Their mother, Heather, was Jack's sister, and according to her, the very reason Jack was in my life at all. I briefly wondered if this was the same park I'd first met these boys at when we were babies, remembering the story she'd told me in California.

Always careful, Carlisle slowly followed as the three of us made our way her direction.

"Leandra." The relief in her voice as she hugged me surprised me. She was actually crying with the emotion, hugging me the way any worried mother would. It surprised me, because she felt more relief than my own mother had, even after my own mother thought I was dead for several minutes. At least from what I could tell, Heather's relief was even greater than that.

She held me that way for at least a minute. I let her, still pretty surprised. I hadn't known my disappearing like that would have worried her. She'd been one of the ones trying to get me to stop that day, and even if I knew she was alright, I couldn't go back. Not when I knew both Jack and Ken were waiting for me.

"Um.." I murmured, hoping she'd stop smashing me soon.

"I was so worried, honey." She told me, "God, I can't even tell you."

"I'm okay." I told her, hoping to ease her crying a little, "I'm fine now." She let me pull back, taking my face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry, honey." She struggled with her emotions for a moment, "I'm so sorry I left you there-"

"It's okay now." I said, "I don't blame you." I'd never blamed her. Her attention was taken by Carlisle coming slowly to my side, "Uh.. Heather, this is Carlisle. He came and picked me up that day. I'm sort of staying with them now." I looked to Carlisle, "This is Heather. Remember I told you about her?" Maybe not him specifically, but I did mention her, and I knew he had heard.

"It's very nice to meet you." He told her, and she replied with the same.

"Guys, let's go over there." I murmured, looking to Josh, "Let them talk."

"Okay." Zack agreed instantly, not minding at all. Josh looked to me as we turned, slowly heading away.

"I thought you would have gone with Uncle Jack." Josh told me, surprised, "What happened?"

"Um." I sighed, looking down, "He didn't want to take me with him." Which was partially true, "So I'm staying with Carlisle for awhile."

"Do you know where Uncle Jack is?" Josh asked quietly, and I knew he was worried about him. Probably not having heard anything about him, "He's been gone for a long time. Couple months, at least. Since April." I knew exactly how long he'd been gone, but I wasn't about to let him know that.

I sighed, shaking my head.

"Last I heard of him, he was with my mom." I replied apologetically, "That's all I know."

"Grandpa's gone too." Zack admitted quietly, "We haven't heard anything from him since we got back. What happened that day?"

"I had to get out of there." I found myself saying, "I couldn't stay." Frowning, they studied me. I couldn't blame them for being confused. They wouldn't understand. I leaned up against the big plastic slide on the playground we stood beside now. Looking down.

They were boys. Treated perfectly by both Ken and Jack. That wasn't their fault, and I didn't blame them in the least.

"So hey," Josh spoke up, "Does this mean you'll be going to school in August?"

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea." I told him, appreciating the change of subject, "I'm not good around other kids."

"That's too bad." Zack muttered sadly.

"I know." Josh agreed with him, "It'd definitely make school worth it." He looked back, "Hey." Something upset him, so I leaned over to look. Both Heather and Carlisle sat on the bench now, and it was obvious Heather was in tears as she watched us.

"She's okay." I told them before they could worry too much, "I'm guessing she knows now."

"Knows what?" Zack asked, deeply concerned.

"Carlisle is good at talking to people." I murmured instead, "She'll be fine." I could easily see that reaction after finally discovering what had been going on with me. I was grateful I didn't have to be there to deal with her sadness or try to comfort her. That would always be a depressing thing.

We stood there for a second. Until Josh suddenly reached out and shoved Zack a little.

"Tag." He grinned, and I stood there, confused. Taking a few steps back, toward the smaller field of grass a little ways away, Josh laughed. Zack grinned also, starting to follow him, "Uh-uh. There's a third player now. No tag-backs."

"But there's only three." Zack muttered, "It's boring only chasing one person."

"Huh?" I muttered, looking between the two of them.

"Fine, fine." Josh said, "Tag-backs are fine."

"I don't get it." I was getting irritated.

"Haven't you ever played tag before?" Josh asked, and slowly, I shook my head, "You really _don't_ get out much." He muttered, surprised until he shook it off, he sighed.

"Well, Zack's it right now." He said, "He's gotta catch either of us, and make one of us it by 'tagging' us, or touching our arm, shoulder, back, or whatever he can reach. Then whoever is it next has to catch someone else, and make them it. Get it?" I frowned a little, "Whoever is it chases the other people, and if he, or she, touches one of them, whoever he touches is it now."

"So.." I trailed off, frowning a little.

"That means run." Josh spun, starting to run. Zack followed him a little ways, until he turned around and headed straight for me. That got me moving, "Third bench is safe!"

I really started running with a squeal.

I quickly discovered I was faster on grass than I was on sand, which was good.

Zack couldn't catch me. He managed to catch Josh, though. Making me immediately change directions. Josh was faster than Zack was, but Josh was determined to catch me. Which only made me more determined to keep running faster.

Zack was already perched, standing on the bench that was specified as 'safe'. I think that meant Josh couldn't catch me there, and I needed to catch my breath so I hauled it as fast as I could to the bench.

Landing, sliding a little as I sat beside Zack in fits of hysterical laughter. I watched as Zack jumped off the bench, and started off across the grass. Josh following him. Just as I thought, Josh followed him now, meaning Josh couldn't tag me here.

"Five minutes in safe, Leandra." Josh called to me, and I frowned.

"No fair!" I called back, panting for breath, "Zack was here for at least ten."

"No I wasn't!"

"Yes, you were!" I watched as they ran by, going the other direction now. I'd missed this. I didn't know what made them so different, but they were tolerable. I could learn from them. All the other kids weren't tolerable.

After only about thirty minutes, another boy joined us. Making the game even more fun, despite how wary of him I was. He told us his name was Andrew, and his dad joined our parents on their bench to watch us.

At one point, about ten minutes after Andrew got there, I purposefully slowed. Just enough to let Josh tag me. I wanted to see how quick I could catch someone else, instead of running from them.

"Finally!" Josh laughed in triumph, "Leandra's it!"

"Run, Andrew!" Zack warned him, "She's fast!" With a grin, I started off after the new boy, who squeaked and darted off. I nearly had him until he suddenly changed directions, barely dodging my swipes for him. I slid a little, landing on the soft grass with a laugh. He escaped before I could grab his leg.

I gave up on him, starting off after Josh instead when I got back up.

Thankfully, they weren't rough with me.

When Josh tagged Zack, or vice versa, they literally tackled each other. Bringing the other off their feet to the grass or sand, depending on where it was. Both laughed, so I knew they weren't hurt. Andrew didn't seem to want anything to do with that type of play either. Climbing up the slide, he stood at the top, looking down at them like I watched them from beside the slide.

"I think 'it' just switched like a hundred times." Andrew muttered down to me, and I laughed, stepping back when the boys wrestling threw sand in all directions.

"Victory!" Zack laughed, sitting on Josh's back, until he was flipped. They landed closer to me this time, and I moved again. Attempting to climb up the slide the way Andrew had done. When I started to slide back down, Andrew offered his hand.

Eventually, I let myself take it, and pulled myself up with his help.

"Thanks." I told him, and he laughed.

"Like I'd leave you stranded down there." He replied. Standing up there with him, I could comfortably watch Josh and Zack now. Safely out of the way. I could definitely see why Heather brought them here. She probably didn't want her furniture ruined.

It took several minutes for them to finally give up on wrestling, and they darted up. Running off toward the other side of the park. Andrew and I slid down, and the game resumed.

By the time we stopped playing, it was starting to get dark. We all lounged on the grass, catching our breath and talking. Sitting in a little bunch. Zack was laying down, but that didn't count.

Andrew wasn't so bad, I found. I felt drawn to him like all the others, and thinking about him, I knew he was there too. In that vision I had what seemed like so long ago, he had been there too. I recognized him with his shaggy brown hair and matching eyes.

_This_ felt normal to me. I'd missed this without even realizing I had.

So I cheated. So what? Carlisle was just happy I made it the entire afternoon without damaging another child. So I knew these kids before. So what? I was playing. I glanced over, smiling a little at Carlisle's approving smile.

Having him actually approve of something I'd done was a different feeling than having Jack approve of something I'd done. It made me feel better, instead of making me feel even more pressure like I had with Jack. This was something _good_ I'd done.

Despite remembering how much Carlisle had meant to me before, I was still learning that now. I needed to learn. I needed to let him teach me. I knew then that he knew I'd eventually get it. I just might take a little more time than most kids, because of how I was brought up, but he was willing to try.

"So," Josh said, "You're gonna come back, right?"

"What, here?" I asked, and he nodded, "I don't know. When do you guys usually come here?"

"Usually Saturdays or Sundays." Zack answered, "Mom works during the week, but she has the weekends off most times." I nodded.

"So we'll see you next week?" Josh asked hopefully, smiling.

"Maybe." I said, "I'll ask."

"So.." Andrew spoke up, looking at me, "Is that your dad?" The conversation moved seamlessly from one into another without us even really paying attention to it.

"Well, foster dad." I sighed, not really knowing how to answer. I hadn't had experience with talking about it yet.

"You're really lucky." Andrew replied, surprised.

"I know." I told him immediately.

"No, I mean." Andrew paused, "He's like.. The best doctor in the world."

I glanced to Carlisle again, watching as he spoke to the other parents. I actually hadn't been aware he was all that well heard of, to be honest. Sure, I was sure he was good at what he did, but maybe that was just a little detail that slipped. I wondered how many other little details got lost when I woke up.

"In the world?" I asked, skeptically.

"Well, at least in the country." He clarified, "Everybody knows who he is."

"That's not why I'm lucky." I murmured, shaking my head, "Just because he's a good doctor isn't what makes me lucky."

"Well, your dad is a cop." Zack pointed out, his eyes on Andrew, "Doesn't that make him popular, too?"

"Not really." Andrew shook his head, "Most people don't like cops, remember? Nobody's got anything against doctors."

"Your dad seems cool, at least." I offered, and Andrew smiled at me, "From over here, anyway."

"He is." Andrew nodded, "As far as dads go."

"So what made them bring you guys?" Josh asked, interested, "I've never seen either of you here."

"My dad says I read too much." Andrew admitted, resting his chin in his hand, "He says I need more friends."

"Well, he'll be happy then." Zack offered cheerfully, "Right?"

"There's nothing wrong with reading." I frowned, "Why would that be a problem?"

"I have no idea." Andrew laughed, shaking his head, "But I don't care. If it makes him happy, why not?" I nodded in agreement, "I love my dad. I mean, yeah, he's not perfect, but nobody is. There are worse people out there I could have wound up with." He didn't even know how right he was. I looked down briefly.

"What about you?" Zack asked, looking to me, "What made your dad bring you here?" It amazed me how easily they accepted the fact I wasn't with Jack anymore. They didn't seem confused by it in the least. Just curious, but that was something different.

"I have to learn how to be around other kids without beating them up." I admitted, looking down. I gave a glance around at the stunned silence, "What?"

"You can't hurt anybody." Josh laughed, laughing along with the other two.

"Yes I can." I said, slightly offended, "I do it all the time."

"No," He shook his head, "That's not what I mean. I mean, you seem too nice to be like that."

"To you guys." I allowed with a nod, "I don't know why I'm not mean to you." That was a lie. They'd been there before, so I did have an idea.

"It was meant to be." Zack sighed dramatically, laying to the side. I wasn't the only one finding that funny.

"Maybe." I murmured, shrugging a little. Again, he didn't know how right he was.

"Boys." We all looked over at Heather's voice calling a little ways away, "It's time to go. Come on, guys." Despite her only calling them, all four of us stood up, and headed that direction. I smiled a little at Carlisle as I neared his side.

"Bye, guys." Andrew smiled, and we responded likewise, "Next week, right?"

"Hopefully." Zack grinned, "Unless it rains."

I looked up at Carlisle as he stood up, letting him pull me into his side. Andrew and his dad walked away. Toward the small parking area outside the park.

Heather seemed fine now, but I could tell immediately by the way she looked at me now that she knew. Carlisle had told her what I couldn't tell her before. Considering it was her brother that had terrorized me, I didn't mind her knowing. She knew how her brother could be, she'd admitted it, and I knew she suspected something was wrong there.

I knew she had so many questions for her, but I knew I had even more questions for her.

However, right then wasn't the right time to ask them, so I let her hug me goodbye, and followed Carlisle back toward the car after bidding the boys goodbye.

It was so strange to return home after a good day. Every other try had failed, and every time, I knew the others were disappointed in me. Now I didn't have to worry about that. Today had been good.

On top of that, I fell straight to sleep that night. Worn out from running around all afternoon, I don't think I even moved. Curled comfortably, I didn't even remember dreaming.

Despite my good day the day before, I could feel it the moment I opened my eyes. It was July 14th. The day I was born ten years ago. I'd been alive for a decade. I felt it.

I knew I didn't need to dread today anymore, but it was learned by now. It'd take a few years, probably, to learn how to not hate my birthday.

All of the holidays or days of significance I hated. Of significance meaning all the days Jack could possibly use to make my life more of a living hell than it already was. Giving gifts usually in the form of another group of scars or bruises.

I'd never admit that, though. My birthday was one day I couldn't stand. My birthday, his birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and God help me on Valentine's Day.

I closed my eyes, hoping to just sleep through the day. I hadn't moved yet, so I knew they wouldn't bother me yet. Usually, all I had to was climb out of bed, and they'd know I was awake. It didn't take much to alert them.

I think I did manage to fall back to sleep for a minute or two, until I woke myself up again.

This time, though, I made myself climb out of bed. Struggling with emotion, I let myself drift out of my room, and up the hall. I wanted company, even if I was cranky.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Emmett called from where he probably sat on the couch all night. It wasn't the right time for them to need to hunt, and Edward wasn't around for him to torture. I sat down beside him, sniffling a little. That caught his attention, "Have a nightmare, shorty?"

"No." I mumbled, shaking my head. I yawned, and that seemed to ease his worry. Yawning sometimes made my eyes water, so that could easily explain my quiet sniffle. If I could get away with not admitting any more of my weaknesses, I would.

"Is Jasper around?" I asked, looking up at Emmett.

"Nope." He answered, "He and Alice are out hunting."

"Again?" I frowned, "They just went last week."

"Just as a precaution, shorty." Emmett replied, "You know we're just trying to keep you safe."

"I know." I sighed, laying back. I did know. I understood. I just hated knowing I bothered him so much by just being alive. He never seemed to blame me, and believe me, I looked for the signs, but that didn't help. I blamed myself.

"So." He said, trying to change the subject, and I looked up at him, "A little birdy told me something about today."

"A bird can't tell you anything." I sighed, looking forward again at the TV, "There's nothing special about today. Other than that I'm a burden again."

"Don't say that." He told me, throwing his arm around my shoulder and squeezing me into his side. I couldn't help laughing a little as I struggled.

If you've ever seen anybody playing idly with a playful puppy, that's about how it seemed with Emmett and I. He'd try to lightly cover my face with the palm and fingers of his hand, or try to tickle me lightly, but I'd try to grab his hand and push it away. He'd prevent me from grabbing his hand by moving it away until he made another attempt.

I was never angry at him, but it was something to do. It was a little game, I guess. He knew my moods now, and knew not to try that when I was irritated or grumpy. Today, it was okay. Today, I appreciated having my mind taken off of what day it was.

"Leandra." Alice's tone made me suspicious. She sounded way too happy about something. I slowly looked at her where she stood in the front doorway, slightly surprised they'd come back so soon in the morning. They must have gone the night before.

Emmett leaned over. Closer to me, "There's the birdy. Make no sudden moves." The way he said that made me laugh. She moved inside, Jasper trailing slower behind her. I offered him an apologetic smile, and he gave me a comforting one in return. Telling me silently that I was being stupid, being sorry for having a heartbeat.

"Funny, Emmett." She sighed, but she was smiling, so I knew she wasn't mad at him. She came to stand in front of me, and I looked up at her, "So. What do you want most for your birthday?"

I gave her an incredulous look.

"You're serious?" I asked, and she nodded, "Uh. I don't need anything." Emmett looked over, amused at the conversation.

"Please." She placed her hands on her hips, "Anything you want?"

"Okay, anything I want?" I asked, and she nodded, "I want for it to be tomorrow already. I want for today to never have happened."

"Aw, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Come on."

I leaned back on the couch, sighing, "A million dollars, and a flamingo in a baseball hat." That one literally made Emmett laugh out loud, laying his head back, "Really, Alice. I hate my birthday. I always have."

I wasn't in the mood to laugh anymore.

"Why?" She asked, sitting to my other side, "It's such a great day."

"No it's not." I mumbled seriously now, shaking my head. She seemed concerned now, and even Emmett's laughter had ended as he looked at me.

"Okay." She finally said, "I got it. What you want most is to forget what day it is, right?" That took my attention, "I can do that."

"You can?" I asked, curious.

"I can." She nodded, looking to Emmett, "There's a storm coming." His grin was instant, and I remembered what happened last time she said that.

"Aw, Alice." I mumbled, "I don't want to have to go back to Phoenix. That really sucked."

"No." Alice laughed, shaking her head, "You don't know what we were doing, do you?" I shook my head.

"Don't tell her." Emmett requested, standing and pulling me up. He flung me up over his shoulder, and carried me off toward my room that way. I had to laugh, squealing breathlessly.

"Don't drop me!" I laughed up at him, clinging tightly to the back of his shirt. He pushed my door open, stepped across the room and dropped me on my bed.

At his insistence, I got dressed. Choosing plain jeans and a pale pink t-shirt. While I got dressed, Alice and Emmett rounded the other members of the family. Aside from Edward, of course, who had been spending so much more time with Bella lately after what happened a few months back.

Grabbing a jacket, we were off. I still hadn't a clue where we were going, but Alice told me she could distract me, so I was hesitantly hopeful. So far, the mystery was enough to keep me from locking myself in my closet and refusing to leave.

It seemed like no time at all that we arrived in a wide open, grassy field.

The field was huge. Of course, sitting on Emmett's shoulder made it seem a lot bigger as I had more of a view of it, but even that view was interrupted as he took me to the middle, and spun me around. I had to close my eyes at how fast he spun me, and I had to laugh. It was impossible not to as my stomach dropped at the sudden movement.

"Stop!" I squealed, clinging to his shoulders as tight as I could.

"That's not fair, Emmett." I was plucked from his shoulder, "Making her dizzy before she can learn." Alice was the one that had saved me. She set me on my feet, and I took two steps before I fell over. Luckily, the grass was soft so it didn't hurt to fall.

I had to lay there for a few minutes, waiting for the dark gray sky to stop spinning.

As soon as I was back on my feet, Alice took my shoulders in her hands, and moved me forward. Looking around us, we stood in the middle of the wide open space, and I half wondered why, until Alice kept me from wondering for too long.

"You're going to be pitching." She smiled at me, and I was surprised. Pitching? As in baseball?

"What?" I asked, confused as she placed a well-used and worn baseball into my hand. I was right. I had no idea they played the game. That must have been another little detail that had slipped away.

While everyone else moved to their places, I stood there with Alice, the baseball in my hand, looking up at her.

"So, I just throw it?" I asked, and she smiled.

"As straight and as hard as you can." She said, "Give it a try."

"Five bucks says she throws like a girl." Emmett called to me, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Let me aim at your head." I called back, and he returned the gesture I had given him, but grinned.

"Ready?" Alice asked me, and I nodded.

Jasper was waiting on me, so I bit my lip and just threw it. Of course, I couldn't throw like Alice could, but at least it flew straight, and made it to him without falling short. The sound the bat made as it hit the ball was _loud_, and I flinched with a laugh. Though I took a step back, I wasn't all that scared. Having watched him swing.

"Not bad at all, Leandra." Alice smiled at me, "Good job."

Okay, so this was fun. I couldn't contribute to the game any other way, but this, I could do.

I got better at it as I gained more confidence. When nobody made fun of me for my human throwing abilities, I started to learn more about the different ways to throw the ball, and I was quickly catching on. Since I wasn't officially on either team, I could stay there and keep throwing it.

It always amazed me to watch how fast everything moved once I let go of the ball. Of course, nobody ever missed hitting a ball I threw, and sometimes Alice would throw, but it was still fun.

"Next lesson." Emmett suggested after about an hour of playing, "Hitting."

"You want me to pick up a bat?" I asked incredulously.

"Sure." He said, "Come on, shorty." Nobody seemed to mind, so I handed the ball to Alice. And walked over to where Carlisle stood with the bat in his hands. I stood with him as he showed me how to hold it, feeling unsure about it. I was confident I would manage to hurt myself.

"I can't hit like you guys can." I said hesitantly, looking up at him, "If I can even hit it at all. I've never done this before."

"You'll do fine." He smiled, and he seemed perfectly confident. Despite how nervous I was, I figured why not try. The first two times, though, I flinched away from it. Just something about something being thrown at me made me move. Even if it was a slow throw.

Nobody seemed impatient, only supportive. Putting their game on pause to help me learn.

"Pretend it's Jack's head." Emmett suggested, and I frowned, looking over at him.

"Pretend?" I asked, confused. I didn't understand the word. I'd heard it before, but I never knew what it meant. He seemed surprised at first until he reworded it.

"Imagine, shorty." He said, and I understood that. I looked back to Alice, taking a breath. Nervously gripping the bat like Carlisle had taught me.

"You can do it." Esme offered behind me. I missed this one too, and I was getting discouraged. Mad at myself, and the way I was scared of the ball.

This time around, Carlisle decided I needed a little help, so he kneeled behind me. Helping me hold it straighter, and where it needed to be. I was still nervous Alice was going to hit me, but I comforted myself with the thought that Carlisle would move me or catch it before that happened.

Alice threw it, and this time with Carlisle's help, I hit it. Now I was getting it. It didn't go far, right back to Alice, but it was a start. Twice more I hit it with Carlisle's help, and now it was my turn to try on my own again.

She threw it straight to me, and this time, on my own, I hit it.

I knew it was stupid to feel so accomplished, but I'd never done anything like that before, and I grinned.

Just like pitching, the more I did it, the better I got at it. I didn't want to stop, but I knew they wanted to continue their game, so I kept my stupid grin, and handed the bat back to Carlisle. That, and I needed to sit. My arms hurt from swinging the bat so hard, and my legs hurt from standing for so long.

"Good job, Leandra." Carlisle told me with a smile, "You did so well." Two days in a row, I'd done well. Now, I could just sit and watch, perfectly fine with that. So I stepped back, and sat beside Esme who was still set to catch the ball.

The game picked back up from there, everything going a lot faster than it had been before.

Luckily, nothing bad seemed to happen during this game. Not like last time. I wasn't sure if they were keeping score or not, but I certainly wasn't. I didn't know the first thing about keeping score.

Before I even realized it, we had spent the entire day outside, and sometime passed late afternoon, the rain had found us. With little to no warning, only one particularly loud rumble of thunder that startled me straight to Esme's side, everything was suddenly drenched.

I laughed a little, shielding my eyes as I was soaked to the skin in a matter of seconds.

It wasn't long later that we returned home. I wasn't particularly eager to get back home, because I'd been having fun. Actually having fun. Today, of all days. I never thought it was possible. Once inside, I thanked Alice with a hug.

"We have to do that again." I murmured, sitting down after changing from my soaked clothes, "Soon."

"See?" Emmett grinned, "I told you she'd like it."

"Genius, it was my idea." Alice told him with a laugh. I laughed a little, shaking my head.

They continued arguing lightly beside me, but I stopped listening. Looking down at my hands in my lap, focusing on one long scar in particular on my skin. It was a thin one, not terribly bad and hardly noticeable anymore, but that stole my concentration.

How simple it was, that little thing could steal most traces of happiness, but it did. Like a nightmare while being awake, a single memory scrolled through my mind like a movie I couldn't turn off fast enough.

Something like a sickening form of panic settled into my stomach, and I knew that was left from the memory I viewed while sitting there. Seconds, maybe, had passed from the moment I focused my eyes on my hands and now, but it was enough.

"Shorty?" Emmett asked, and I shook my head a little. Forcing a smile, I looked over, "You okay?"

"Fine." I said, "Just spacing out, I guess." I laughed a little, hating deeply how I had to lie to him. I had to lie. Forcing myself to lie, and struggling to keep the screaming part of me silent.

He didn't seem to believe me completely, but it was enough that he let it go. Glancing over, I realized that I hadn't escaped Jasper's notice. His eyes on me, I didn't bother forcing a smile his way. He knew I wasn't feeling like smiling. He knew how I was feeling, his concerned gaze confirming that.

I managed to make it through the rest of the day without another memory like that.

However, that night, I did dream again. It was nothing light, or easy to handle. It was one of those dreams that stuck even after I woke up. I hated dreams like this, but there was nothing in the world that could keep them away.

Sitting there, the thunder and the dumping rain outside told me the storm earlier had found us.

It was dreams like this that really, fully made me realize that Jack was still out there somewhere. Probably still free. Probably just biding his time. Waiting for the moment when I'd go and find him again. Or he'd come and find me.

It was dreams like this that made that normally small sliver of insecurity blossom into something much bigger than I was. Despite knowing I was safe, protected when my family was around me, I couldn't help wondering. When would I see him again? When would he come back for me? Would he make me kill her this time? Would he decide I wasn't worth it anymore, and kill me?

There were also other more pressing issues I had to deal with.

Though my last encounter with him had left me pretty much physically unscathed, it taught me something I didn't want to know about myself. It taught me that all he'd done, and all I'd had to endure from him had made me, molded me into someone I almost didn't know.

Someone I didn't want to be, but was helpless to change.

That was a deeply frightening thought. Like there was another part of me, other than the part everybody saw, that could just do those things and not even bat an eye. Jack had taught me anger, and hate, and how to just hurt someone like they didn't even matter. He taught me how to hate someone so thoroughly, that it almost shielded me from turning that hate around on myself. Almost.

That even though he was no longer around me, or me around him, these dreams were still teaching me. I was still learning from them. That even though Jack wasn't there to teach me, I was teaching myself.

All these years of living with him, I learned so many things I never should have, but when I was smaller, to me, it was just something he did. Not quite normal, but I accepted it.

I could never forget it, and I could never ignore what that did to me. Just attempting to think back to some of the points of my past, threatened to squeeze tears from my eyes, but knowing I shouldn't cry. A darkness that wanted to hold onto me, and never let me go.

Nobody knew what I struggled with. Nobody _really_ knew how hard, or how dark this was.

All they knew, was the smallest bit of details. I was beaten, and I was hurt. Repeatedly taught what it felt like to feel pain, but it was _more_ than that. There was a lot more to it than that. Something behind those small details that they didn't understand.

They didn't understand how deep those scars ran. As if those scars were all that held me together. They didn't understand that when I went silent, my thoughts were loud. They didn't know that when I was quiet, I was remembering the harder times. They didn't realize that when I was quiet, that was when I felt the most pain. Remembering the way he shouted, and the way he whispered.

They knew the basics, they knew the main details, but underneath that, there was an infection I couldn't fix. A sort of poison in me that I thought if I ever let anybody know about what I lived through, I'd poison and infect them too.

There were six years of horrifying details I couldn't even think about, much less speak about. Things he did, and put me through that I'd never speak about. Fear keeping those secrets. Things he'd say to me, especially when he was in a darker mood. Things he'd tell me, and things I'd listen to. I had no other choice.

I could still hear all he told me.

How not to bother crying about what he did, because life was always that way. How the world was nothing but a place of pain, and that's all I ever had to look forward to.

How it'd be so easy. All I had to do was beg him to kill me. That I could get away from him when I was dead, and he'd be happy to give that to me. Because I'd done _so_ well, and made him _so_ happy. Condescendingly, of course, because I knew then that he would never be happy with me until I really was dead.

One way or another.

They didn't hear the sound of his voice when he wasn't shouting, or being condescending. They didn't hear what his voice sounded like in a murmur, or a whisper. They didn't know what it was like for me to want to cringe away with my entire body, but being unable to, because fear kept me still. To be trapped that way. All the time. The quiet way he told me these things made them even more effective.

How it was almost worse when he was being gentle.

Six years of darkness that would always be a part of me, and continue to teach me that hate was the one way I could be happy. To blame, and to hate others who were supposed to keep me from that sort of fate. To blame, and to hate others who never had to live that sort of life.

To ache with the need for revenge so final, they'd never recognize the pieces. For all of them.

But I fought it. Day in and day out, because I didn't _want_ to be that way. I didn't want to be like Jack, but I knew better. Even from this day forward, if I never saw him again, I'd still turn out like him. At least, to some degree.

And if I could keep the others from knowing that, if I could hide my thoughts from Edward for as long as I could, I would. The only one that could possibly begin to understand how much I suffered would be Jasper. He could feel it, but he just couldn't understand why.

I didn't know if I should talk to him about it or not, as that would open the subject up for discussion. Something I really didn't want. I wanted to hide from it, and talking about it would just destroy that, however I did need to tell Jasper to not mention my pain to anyone else. I needed him to keep that a secret, like I was.

Because my family didn't need to know how dark the world could be. How suffocating it could be just to breathe. To keep breathing. I wanted to hide the disturbing truth, because they were such loving people. I guess I just wanted to protect them from knowing what kind of place the world was.

Or so I told myself.

I was probably more afraid of them discovering what kind of person I was. By admitting all of the things that happened, and all of the things I remembered and felt, I worried they'd finally agree with Jack, and discover how I wasn't worth it anymore. How I never had been worth it. I'd die the day that happened.

Up until that dream, the vision I'd had of my family, my life had been nothing but a damning nightmare. One that ensured I would always be this way. Ensured that I would never be normal, and I'd always remember these things. Filled with dreams of darkness, and fear.

My dreams would always be a thing to fear, because they were _always_ real to me. Vivid reminders of things I'd gone through, and one of the many reasons why I still feared the darkness of a room without the light on.

Those few extra days with Jack were proving to be just as influential as six entire years of my life. I would never admit it, because I wanted to hide from it myself, but I hated much more thoroughly than any of them knew.

They'd never know, but tomorrow, I had to talk to Jasper.

**A/N: So that took a very.. I don't even know lol  
So here's chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it. :D  
Chapter two is pretty much written out, but some things do need to be shortened, and re-gone over. It might take me a few hours to do but I do need sleep lol but never fear. Chapter two should (_should_) be out sometime tomorrow.  
I promise not all the chapters are like this scene here.  
I look forward to reading those reviews of those kind enough to leave me their thoughts. :} More than you know.  
Until two, my beautiful readers. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

I was nervous about what I would be doing by bringing it up, but I knew it had to be done. Edward was hardly ever around anymore, so I didn't have to worry about him so much yet, but Jasper was around nearly all the time. He had front row seats to my agony.

I left my room the next morning, feeling particularly irritable this morning. Unlike the morning before, I was having none of Emmett's playfulness. Jasper wasn't in the room yet, and neither was Alice. I didn't want to go hunt them down, so I waited.

"My, you're grumpy this morning." Emmett pointed out, and I didn't bother replying. Staring at the rug under my feet. I just wasn't up to playing or talking.

He finally entered the room, my eyes finding him as his eyes found me. He was the only one that could ever possibly know what kind of person I was by feeling everything I felt. He stood back by the door, Alice looking quizzically between Jasper and I. He could tell, most likely by the way I felt, what my intentions were.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, my eyes still on him, "It's important."

He gave me a nod, understanding in his eyes. He already knew what it was I wanted to talk to him about, and I knew that, but that didn't make it any easier. I wondered how he'd react, or if he'd do what I asked him to.

I stood up, and followed him outside. Onto the front porch as he closed the door behind me. I did my best to steel my emotions, hardening them into something that subtly resembled bravery. It was harder than I thought.

"I won't bother you for long." I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the deck under my bare feet, "I'm sorry I bugged you at all, but I thought I should say something." He waited patiently, "I-I know what your gift is, and I-I wanted to say-"

"I know." He said, and I looked up, "I understand what you're getting at, and I must admit that I'm glad you decided to approach the subject. I've been strongly debating with myself for as long as I've known you whether or not I should say something."

"Don't." I said, shaking my head, "That's why I'm out here. I want to ask you not to."

"I keep waiting for it to level out, but that hasn't happened yet." He admitted, "Leandra, I can't tell you how concerned I am."

"Don't be." I said quietly.

"Let me ask you something." He said, slowly clasping his hands behind his back, "Why would you attempt to hide this from us?"

"Wouldn't you?" I asked in return, "Wouldn't you want to?"

"No." He said, "Concealing emotions that strong is a dangerous thing to do, and I mean that."

"You don't know." I argued, shaking my head as I looked down, "You might feel what I feel, but you don't see what I see. You don't know _why_ I feel what I feel."

"Noted." He told me evenly, giving me a nod, raising my suspicion at the same time. I stayed quiet, shaking my head again.

"I-I-"

"I'm concerned, Leandra." He spoke up again, and I looked up, "About what those emotions are doing to you." He lowered his voice, "It's dangerous. It's reckless to keep quiet about something that powerful."

My suspicion turned into defensiveness, which came forward as both defiance and anger. I recognized that, and I tried to control it, but I wasn't very good at that yet.

"I didn't ask you to stick your nose in." I countered, and his emotions changed. Careful calm, to amused and surprised at my slight snap. He waited, and I looked down, "Sorry."

"I've been meaning to speak to you." He said, giving me a nod, "I'm going to speak to Carlisle about this."

"You don't get it." I said, nervousness stealing my breath, "You can't do that."

"I think I can imagine." He replied quietly, "Leandra, you have no reason to-"

"You have no reason to talk to him." I snapped, "I can handle this on my own. I don't need _you_ or anybody else ratting me out."

"Oh?" He asked skeptically.

"Oh." I replied firmly, "Jasper, I mean it. _Please_ don't say anything."

"Leandra, I strongly believe your problems with others stem directly from that tangled mess you call your emotions. If we could just talk with you about them-"

"No." I shook my head, "I don't want-"

"You _can_ be helped." He said firmer now, "I've kept it to myself for far too long, and I'm afraid that the longer I do so will only hurt your chances of recovering."

"You're not getting it!" I hadn't meant to raise my voice that much, but it didn't phase him a bit.

"Calm yourself." He told me, and I shook my head.

"I don't want you to tell anyone." I took a breath, "Don't say anything-"

"If you don't speak to Carlisle yourself, I will." He nodded again, "I believe it's for the best."

"No!" My voice echoed around us, and that even surprised me a bit.

"What on Earth is going on out here?" Esme opened the door, and I immediately shut up. Glaring up at Jasper for a moment before storming back into the house. Passed Esme, straight through the living room. Passed Emmett and Alice, and into my room.

That was exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to talk about my stupid emotions. I didn't want anyone else to know how I felt, and I certainly didn't want anybody asking me why I felt the way I felt. He wasn't listening to me.

Infuriating!

Without even wanting to, I started to cry.

Carlisle was working, so I knew I didn't have to worry about it just yet. I'd never spoken to any of my family like that before, and almost immediately, I felt bad. They didn't deserve to be treated like that. Other people, sure, but not them.

So after giving myself a few hours to calm down, I tried again.

"May I speak now?" He asked once I stood in front of where he sat in the living room. Sheepishly, I nodded, "Now. I understand the fact that you're afraid."

"I-I-"

"Leandra." I fell silent again, biting my lip, "I know you're afraid, and I have a pretty good idea why, but I can promise you that there's no need for it. You have your reasons for denying it, and I have my reasons for insisting that you don't."

I waited, and he waited. I wanted to make sure he was done speaking before speaking. Giving a glance around at the others witnessing this. Alice and Esme sat together on the couch, Emmett standing near the stairs. Having been heading that way when I came out.

"Trust is something you need to learn, Leandra." Jasper spoke again, quieter now, "I understand completely that you choose to keep your experiences hidden, and that's only natural. We're not asking you to come right out and say everything all at once, because I do understand how scared you are. All I'm asking of you is to not be so closed off. Work with Carlisle, work with me. Sort through these emotions, as that's the only way you're ever going to heal."

"You don't understand." I mumbled, shaking my head, "Working with my emotions, like you're telling me to do, isn't possible without killing someone."

"That's exactly why you need to do it." He didn't doubt me, "You hate. I feel that, but I will not allow you to become what you're determined to become. Am I clear?"

"You don't know everything." I shook my head again, my tone as respectful as I could make it, "Jasper, I'm scared, because I don't _want_ to try working with emotions. I don't want everyone knowing how bad of a kid I am-"

"Stop right there." He said, sitting forward. I looked up, meeting his stern gaze, "Repeat that?" I was thrown off for a second, "The last thing you said."

"I don't want everyone knowing how bad of a kid I am?" I asked, confused.

"Why?" He asked, and I lowered my gaze again. I fell silent, choosing not to answer, "That is also what we need to work on."

"I can't do this." I mumbled after a moment, sighing as I went to leave the room again.

"Wrong again." He caught my wrist lightly, "Leandra, come here. Just hear me out for one moment." As hard as it was to do, I did as he asked. Slowly letting him lead me back around to stand in front of him, "You've been told practically your entire life how horrible of a person you are. You've been told you're worthless. Nothing. Did you like hearing those things?" I shook my head, "Use your words."

"No." I mumbled, "I didn't."

"Then tell me." He said, "Please, enlighten me. Why would you ever say those things to yourself?"

"Because it's true." I replied immediately, glancing up and meeting his gaze, "I don't like to lie. To anyone else, or to myself."

"Leandra, telling yourself that you're worthless is _the_ biggest lie you could ever tell."

"Yeah, I have this stupid gift, but that's all." I mumbled, "It's not proving very helpful these days, is it?"

"Is that why you're here right now?" He asked, "Because your gift is so stupid?" I didn't know what to say to that, looking back down, "You are not worthless, Leandra, do you hear me? I'll tell you that every single day from now until the day you die if that's what it takes, but you're not worthless. You're priceless."

"You're wrong." I replied immediately, "You're lying to yourself. You're lying to me."

"No." He said firmly, "I'm not."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew everything." I mumbled, "None of you would."

"Then convince me." He challenged, "Convince me how worthless you are, I dare you. I can guarantee you right now that you can't."

"Wanna bet?" I asked bitterly.

He laughed once humorlessly, "Sure." I didn't like the challenge. I'd been trying to call his bluff, but he wasn't bluffing.

"I can't do that." I finally said.

"I know you can't."

"Because I can't tell you all the reasons why." I clarified, stepping back and sitting on the couch with a sigh.

"Absolutely none of those reasons are your fault." He told me, "Not one of them." I stayed silent, keeping my eyes down, "I feel that, you know. The doubt, how skeptical you are. You don't believe me." I shook my head. I didn't. Why should I?

"Let me just take a random guess here." He said, "You won't believe me until you fight up the courage to tell me what's really bothering you. Am I right?" I hesitated, until I nodded, "And until that happens, until I know, you're going to keep treating yourself like this?" I nodded again, "Perhaps even after. In your mind, you think that I can't possibly know what I'm talking about, because I don't know all the small details. The little things that all pile together to make one, very big thing."

I grew nervous at just his slight mentioning of all of the little things. A cold, sick feeling clawed its way into my stomach, and I kept my eyes down. My heart sped up its rhythm, and he fell silent for a moment.

"Not to understate any of the other's pasts, but Leandra, we all have our fears." He told me, "We all have things in our pasts, but I do believe yours may be bigger than all of ours. You're right, I don't know everything, but I don't need to know all of it to know that you aren't worthless. Do you understand?"

I only shrugged. Agreeing to disagree. He studied me closely, watching as I began to calm down. He was moving away from the subject.

"This is very concerning to see, to say the least. I think if anyone is minimizing this whole thing, it's you." I looked back up, both confused and offended, "You don't realize just how serious this issue is. You don't understand, not fully, what this is doing to you."

"Bet me." I felt my tone was sharp, and it almost hurt me to use that tone.

"The experiences themselves do frighten you, it's true." He clarified, "But you can't see what you're becoming-"

"Bet me."

"Because if you knew, if you had any idea, you'd do all you could to stop that from happening." He continued, "It's not something you would take lightly, Leandra. Do you _want_ to turn out that way?"

"No." I said, my tone much less sharp now, "I don't, but I can't see a way to change. I don't like the way I am. I don't like it, because it scares me, but I can't fix myself."

"Not with that way of thinking, you can't." He said, "The problem isn't what happened before. Not entirely, anyway. It does have its role in this, but the problem right now is your way of thinking right now. You already believe it's hopeless. You've given up. The first step is changing that."

He paused, watching me.

"Forgive me, but I need to press." He murmured, and I slowly looked up, "Right now. That thought in your mind that's making you feel this way. What is it?"

"Nothing." I replied instantly. Bold faced lie, I knew he knew. A memory had chosen that moment to remind me of its presence, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep myself from feeling the familiar fear.

He gave me a look, and I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see it. Hanging my head, I bit my lip.

"Do what you want." I finally sighed, standing, "But just because you tell everyone in the world doesn't mean I'm ever going to be willing to talk about it. I don't care what you, or anybody else says." I left him sitting there as I left the room. This time, he let me leave, and as I looked back, I saw him shaking his head.

He could shake his head all he wanted to. It wouldn't change anything.

Carlisle got home right on time, but he wasn't the only one, so I knew Jasper must have called ahead. Just to give Carlisle a heads up that I wasn't having a very good day.

"Where is she?" I heard Carlisle ask, despite how close his voice was. He knew right where I was, but felt the need to ask anyway. He was worried, clearly, but couldn't make myself want to go through this any more. I sat cross-legged on my bed, my back to the door. Not bothering to turn as it opened.

No matter how many times I saw for myself that it never turned out badly, not once, I couldn't help being just a little nervous at the idea of Carlisle being unhappy with me.

"I didn't want him to tell you." I mumbled, "It's stupid."

"You're not in any trouble, Leandra." Edward's voice surprised me, and I turned. Esme, standing in the doorway with Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper, crossed the room and sat beside me. I was surprised they'd bother to call Edward. Maybe he had come by anyway? He'd been gone awhile, and probably missed the family, but there was also a strong possibility that Jasper would request his help. Especially given what I told him earlier about not being able to see what I saw.

They really needed all three of them here? Esme was probably just there for moral support as I slowly pieced it together. I didn't like the feeling of being cornered I got. I'd expected just Carlisle coming in to talk to me. Maybe Jasper, but Edward being there intimidated me. I struggled hard to focus my thoughts on something boring.

"You told me you weren't willing to talk about it." Jasper murmured, and I turned again, "Now, you won't specifically have to." My eyes narrowed, glaring at him.

"I won't repeat that." Edward smirked.

"You don't know what you're doing." I warned Jasper, shaking my head, "You don't know what you're asking me to say."

"I'm not asking." He said, shaking his head also, "I've only mentioned to Carlisle how this is going to go, and he's here to support you just as much as Esme is. I'm only pressing you as far as knowing exactly where your head is at. That's all I'm interested in, okay?" As he spoke, the less edgy I got. Comforted by the thought that he hadn't blabbed everything to everyone. Edward knew what he was talking about, but that couldn't be avoided.

That didn't seem so bad. I slowly turned, looking to them.

"Edward is only here to translate your thoughts if you have trouble." He continued, stepping into the room. Cooperating now, I sighed. Nodding. I looked to Edward, hanging back by the door. His smirk had faded, seeming deeply unhappy now.

I realized quickly why. My guard was down now, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring it back up. My guard was down, and I had trouble hiding how I felt now. He was seeing what I didn't want him to see. I didn't have it in me to try hiding anymore. Not with my cooperation.

"I don't like this." I admitted quietly.

"I apologize, but this is of critical importance." He did have a point there. I just hated being so agreeable.

"Alright." Carlisle sighed, having crossed the room with Jasper, "What is going on?"

"I only want to bring her the first step." Jasper explained, "To show her she has no reason to hold back. I want to know some things, and without her cooperation, that's impossible." Jasper chose to stand while Carlisle sat on the other side of the bed. Listening to what Jasper was saying.

"For quite some time now, it's been my understanding that Leandra has been struggling under some.. Very disturbing emotions, and I believe it's time we attempt to help her through them."

"Disturbing?" Carlisle asked, concerned. I grew nervous yet again, looking down as Jasper nodded. Carlisle was confused by Jasper's very accurate use of the word, because he didn't know just how accurate it was. Jasper glanced to me, but I didn't look up. I wasn't needed yet. If he wanted to speak first, he could do so.

"Normally," Jasper spoke again, "Children tend to have very light emotions. When they're scared, they're scared. When they're sad, they cry. When they're happy, they smile." Carlisle nodded, understanding that much, "And that's the way it's supposed to be."

"Leandra is a completely different story." He said, his tone quieting in his own emotion. Catching my attention, "When she's scared, she's terrified. When she's sad, she's angry. When she's angry, she's furious. When she's happy, she usually shows nothing. She fights the emotion, as if it shouldn't be there. When she's happy, she's scared."

The way he said these things made me listen. He knew. Just like I thought, Jasper did have an idea about how bad this was, but he didn't know why. Carlisle continued to listen, deeper concern crossing his features.

Jasper sighed deeply, "When she's calm, it's the complete opposite. When she's calm, she's not calm. She's always guarded. She's tense, as if she's expecting everything to just fall apart around her." Jasper looked to me now, and I lowered my eyes briefly, "She's not healing, Carlisle. It's only getting worse." He gave a humorless laugh, "I never thought I'd say this, but what her emotions are, I don't even have a way to properly describe them, and frankly, that bothers me. It unnerves me."

He paused, still studying me.

"However," Jasper continued, "One thing I'm happy to say is that when she's concentrating, when she's focusing, her emotions even out, so she does get somewhat of a break now and then. It's taken me some time to learn her behaviors, but the more I learned, the more concerned I got."

"Is this true?" Carlisle asked looking to me. I sighed, and nodded.

"I want to work with her, and get her back onto the track she should be." Jasper spoke up again, "I want to get her to the point where when she feels something, it's how it's supposed to be, and not fought or taken to the extreme."

"How?" I asked, "I've always been this way. For as long as I can remember."

"I believe that's the first step, Leandra." He told me, "Understanding why you feel so many things differently than other people." He paused, "Don't be nervous. That's one you feel often, isn't it?"

"I can't help it."

"I know." He nodded, "Why are you nervous?"

"I don't know." I mumbled in reply, looking down.

"Yes you do." He said calmly, "Why are you nervous?"

"I don't-" I cut myself off. Struggling for the right words. Looking down, biting my lip. Edward was about to speak up, but Jasper held up a hand.

"I want to hear it from her." Jasper murmured, not taking his eyes off me. I took a breath, trying to breathe under the nervousness. I didn't like the pressure.

"I don't want anybody to know." I finally said, and he nodded slowly. He waited, but I didn't say anything else.

"We've gone over this." He reminded me calmly.

"No." I said, "Not that. I don't want anybody to know what I'm hiding from."

"You're hiding from it?" He asked, and I nodded, "Why?"

"Because." I answered, not offering anything else.

"You have no reason to."

"Yes I do." I said, "I don't like seeing it."

"Seeing what?" He asked, slowly finally sitting. I didn't want to say it. I was resisting again.

"Everything." I mumbled, biting my lip again.

"I'm going to need an example, Leandra, because I don't understand what you mean." He said, and I fell silent again.

"It's okay, sweetheart." Esme offered, and I glanced to her.

"Everything, as in your memories?" Jasper finally asked, and I nodded. Grateful he said it for me, "Okay. Fair enough." I sighed, "Those are yours. I'm not asking you not to-"

"I have to." I said, "You asked why I was nervous." He listened now, "You asked why I was nervous, and it's because I'm _trying_ to hide from everything, but I can't do that, because you're wanting to know _why_ I feel like I do. It's _everything_."

I was getting upset, and I struggled to stop. I kept my gaze on his.

"You have no idea what I live with." I murmured, "And trust me, you don't want to. I just want to pretend none of it ever happened."

"Right now," He said firmly, "What are you thinking about?" And Jasper asking that, immediately shoved my thoughts too far in the wrong direction. Where I'd been resisting their progression before, they slipped before I could. One memory in particular, and it was very dark in the memory. The words Jack told me echoed, but the silence echoed louder.

Just one glimpse, a few seconds to look, was enough.

"This man shouldn't be allowed to live." Edward's comment took our attention, and I'd never heard him speak that way before as my eyes found his. He was angry. Struggling, it looked like, to fix his emotions like I did so often. I'd been there. I sat there, stunned, watching as he shook his head and turned. Leaving the room.

"Excuse me." Carlisle stood up with an urgency I felt, following Edward.

"Leandra." Jasper murmured, bringing my attention back to him, "What did he just see?"

Instead of answering him, I stood up and followed Esme from the room. Hiding behind her as she stopped just inside the living room. Closer to the hallway. Peeking around her at Carlisle standing between Edward and the door in the living room, keeping him from leaving with both hands up in a calming gesture.

"No." Edward was saying, "No. No, you don't."

"I know, Edward, but-"

"Because if you knew, if you had any sort of idea, you'd be just as angry as I am. You'd be just as _sick_, and you'd be just as hell bent on ridding the planet of someone like Jack as I am." Each emphasis on his words to describe how he felt made me flinch, "I understand your policy, Carlisle, but this man doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve the breath it takes to keep him alive."

There was a heat behind his words that I hadn't heard from my family yet. A sharpness that I felt. An almost threatening growl, a snarl in a muted tone that scared me. I could hear his struggle to keep his voice quiet, but I could still clearly hear every word he said.

"This would be difficult." Carlisle told him firmly, "You knew this when you volunteered, and you promised you'd try."

"I stayed standing there as long as I could, Carlisle, but you clearly don't understand just _what_ this girl thinks about each moment she has the opportunity to." Edward's voice was still a growl, "The things that cross her mind before she can stop them? It's torment. Torture. You know that she's okay. Physically, she's alright. You know that much, but so often, she wasn't-"

"Edward." Alice spoke up, stopping him before he could say any more, and it got quiet.

I had hidden my face into Esme's side, unable to keep the quiet sob from escaping. Esme hugged me gently, softly comforting me. I flinched slightly at the sound of the front door closing sharply. My first thoughts, of course, were that I'd chased him away.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, "I-I tried. I-I didn't mean to-"

"It's not your fault, Leandra." Jasper told me as he passed, "Not in the least. I'll go find him."

"Thank you, Jasper." Carlisle told him quietly as he left. Closing the door a lot gentler than Edward had. I sniffled, looking back up. Looking around, I could see that everyone had witnessed that. Not just us. I'd only chosen that moment to look around, too focused on Carlisle and Edward before to look around.

Bella stood silently with Alice beside her, both of them looking down. If I wasn't embarrassed enough, that really did it. Emmett and Rose stood on the stairs, Rose's arms crossed as if she were really upset, and Emmett talking to her quietly.

Finally, I looked to Carlisle. He seemed concerned, but not angry as he looked to me, and then up at Esme.

"I think I'm beginning to get more of an idea about what we're dealing with." He was speaking to Esme, but I looked down shamefully.

This was what I didn't want.

I didn't want this, because I knew someone was bound to find me disgusting. Leave it to the one person who actually had just now witnessed what it was like when I couldn't control my thoughts to tell it like it was. Edward also had to know that that was nothing compared to what else I had stuck in my mind.

He had almost always been out with Bella, which had made it easier on me, and normally, Jasper didn't drop my guard like that. I'd always had control before. Today, I didn't, and today, I chased him away. That was a very depressing thing.

I whimpered, hiding my face again. How gross must I be to Edward? I was humiliated.

"I told Jasper not to push." I sniffled, turning and heading back for my room. I was upset, but not angry.

"Honey." Esme murmured sadly behind me, but I didn't stop. I just wanted to be left alone. That kind of reaction was exactly what I had been afraid of.

I didn't even bother to close my door behind myself. Laying across my bed with a soft, quiet sob. Holding a pillow to myself, I knew I'd been followed. I didn't turn. I didn't look, too upset with myself.

"I want to explain something." Carlisle had been the one to follow me, "Edward's reaction wasn't directed at you, Leandra."

"Yeah, right." I sobbed quietly, "I'm such a horrible person, he couldn't stand to be around me. I can't blame him. I don't blame him, but it hurts."

He sighed, and I felt the bed dip as he sat beside me.

"He's always been this way." Carlisle explained, "He's always been the type to need to stand up for those who can't always stand up for themselves. Seeing those things in your mind, Leandra, it hurt him. It bothered him deeply, because he knows that despite the way we all feel, he can't be the one to.. Well, solve the problem."

"Nobody knows where he's at." I pointed out after a moment.

"Yes, that's a good portion of the reason." Carlisle allowed, "But even if we were aware of his location, he couldn't." I laid quietly now, sniffling, "There was a time when Edward would have dealt the punishment without a second thought, but.." He trailed off, stopping himself.

"So.." I mumbled, rolling over to look at him, "He's mad because you wouldn't let him kill Jack if he could?"

"We don't want him to turn into that kind of person again." Carlisle reasoned, and I nodded, "It's been awhile since he's been that determined, though. He really doesn't usually act that way. So no, Leandra. His reaction to what he saw wasn't directed toward you. He was angry at all you've had to go through, and he's angry at the fact that he can't do anything about it."

I took a deep breath.

"He'll be back, Leandra." He assured me, "When he's had a chance to calm down, and think clearly, he'll return."

"I really didn't mean to make him mad." I said, "I'm usually really good at hiding stuff like that when he's around, unless I'm sleeping. Then I can't help it, but what Jasper did kept me from hiding it this time."

"That was his goal, Leandra." He replied, and I sighed.

"I kind of figured that." I mumbled, "But maybe now they'll believe me when I say they don't want to know." His expression softened.

"It's important for you to talk about these things, Leandra. Otherwise it'll only be harder on you."

"It won't be any easier to talk about those things." I said, "All it does is hurt other people. Like today. I didn't even have to say anything, and I made Edward leave. No matter what the reason was."

"I don't want you to feel that you have to hide things from us." He said, "I want you to feel that you can come to us for anything."

"I can." I nodded, "But.." I trailed off, "I mostly hide it for myself. Do you know what I mean? Like.. Just thinking about thinking about them scares me. Trying to push myself to think about those things is impossible right now, because I sort of block myself." I paused, "It's hard to explain."

"I think I understand." He assured me, "And Jasper isn't meaning to push you passed your comfort zone."

"I know." I nodded a little, "He's worried. Everyone is. I am too, but they should be." He waited, listening, "They should be worried." I took a breath, holding it for a moment before I sat up, "Last time, I wasn't this bad. It's still hard to see anything else, not yet, but I know that last time, I wasn't like this. Sure, I was angry and stuff, but I wasn't this bad of a kid. Last time, I didn't want to kill or hurt people the way I do now."

"I see your concern." He told me gently, and nodded.

"I can't see ahead like I should." I said, "Like.. It was one big vision, during that dream, and now I'm just trying to play catch up." He nodded, "I guess it's just hard, you know? Trying to handle everything. Comparing how much worse I am now to back then, and still trying to figure out _what_ exactly made me so much worse."

He sat quietly, listening. As if just being there, listening to me think out loud was plenty for him.

"Last time, Jack didn't have a chance to get away." I mused, "Maybe that's it. Maybe it's because he is still out there somewhere, and I'm always scared. Maybe it's because last time, I had to go with my mom."

"Really?" He asked, interested. That was a new detail. I nodded.

"Yeah." I replied quietly, "Last time, I had to leave here, because she wanted me back, but this time, since she's with Jack, nobody knows where she's at. I didn't even hate her then. Not like I do now."

I paused, going quiet for a moment.

"I can't remember everything at once." I said, "Like.. It's a mess in my mind right now, because I'm trying to remember parts of the vision, but I have to hide from the memories. It's hard to look only far enough this way, until I have to stop and turn around." I paused, "I'm probably confusing you."

"Try this," He murmured after a moment, and I looked up, "Don't try. Don't attempt to find any answers yet."

"But it helped a lot a few months ago, didn't it?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, but right now, it's not helping." He replied gently, "If you need time, take it. Don't attempt to find anything, and perhaps that's what you need to sort through things."

"I wish it was that easy." I looked down, "Just like today. Um.." I hesitated, not sure if I should bring it up, "I don't want you to think I'm crazy."

"Of course not." He told me immediately.

"Well, sometimes, when I'm just sitting there, I remember stuff. When I'm not thinking about anything, I have these.." I paused, "I don't know. I guess these day nightmare sort of things, and I can't control them. I just remember something, and I get scared like I was in the memory." He nodded slowly, understanding in his expression.

"That's going to happen a lot, Leandra." He said, "It's only to be expected."

"So I'm not crazy?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not at all." He said, "You've been through many, _many_ traumatic experiences, and that leaves its mark on someone. Especially those as impressionable as children."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking down. Surprised.

"I'd say you're right where you should be." He said, "It isn't ideal, and I know how much this is bothering you, but something like this really takes time to recover from. It takes patience, and it takes work, but I can tell you right now that you're strong enough to do this."

"I hope you're right." I whimpered, "Because this really sucks."

"You recognize that you're not supposed to be this way, and that's the one major factor here." He said, "That shows promise."

"It does?"

"It means you do still have some sort of a moral sense." He explained, "Many people, many children especially who have gone through what you've gone through lose that. They lose that moral sense, and they don't get it back, but you still have one, and that's good. That's a very good thing, Leandra." He was showing me the positive side of this, which was helping.

"The fact that you struggle with this, as concerning as it is, is a good thing. It means you haven't lost that moral sense, and it tells me that you can recover." I nodded a little, looking up at him, "It's if you ever stop struggling with it that we need to truly worry."

I looked back down, studying my hands. It was good to get an insight on how I was feeling. Someone to explain the way I was, and to tell me that it was normal.

"Is that why you haven't been mad at me for what I do?" I asked, and slowly he nodded.

"Partially." He allowed, "Because I do understand that it isn't your fault."

"It's not?" I asked, surprised.

"No." He said, "It's not. To be honest, I really wasn't sure at first how I should go about reacting to what you resorted to around the other children, but I could clearly see that what I was witnessing, what you did, Leandra, wasn't a learned behavior. What you did wasn't the problem. It was the result _of_ a problem. I think that's where you're confused. In your mind, right now, you believe that you chose to hit those children. You think, currently, that because of what you did, that it only means that you're a bad kid. That isn't the case. Far from it."

He had my full attention now.

"It didn't take me long to decide that you need patience, and you need guidance, rather than a firm hand."

He paused, gathering his thoughts, "However, I've been concerned for the passed few weeks that patience and guidance weren't working with you, because the entire reason for patience and guidance was to earn your trust. Your recovery is a group effort, Leandra. You need us to try, and we need you to try, and with that, you form a kind of bond that you need."

The way he was explaining this was making sense, and I listened closely. He was giving me an explanation to their part in all of this. Something I'd wondered about. Before, I'd known where I stood, but not where they stood.

"But now, I can see differently. It is working with you, but on a slower pace than I was anticipating before. I do believe that what is keeping you from forming that bond, is the fact that you've known us for a bit longer than we've known you." He explained gently, "You trusted us before, and that's all you've been relying on. You're confused, and that's understandable, because you know that right now is different than the right now in the vision, but I think what needs to happen, is you need to focus on us now. Instead of us then. Understand?"

I nodded immediately.

"That's partially my reason for asking you not to try to see more of that vision." He told me, "I need your focus here now, if you're going to bond. That bond, the one I'm searching for, is something very important to recovery."

I hadn't even thought about this. It really made me realize that he was far more aware of things than I was. He wasn't unaware before. Not at all. He was paying attention.

"That bond, depending on how strong or weak it is, will tell me exactly what has to be done, and if you don't give yourself the chance to form that bond, however weak or strong it may be, I'm afraid we can't do much to help you. Without trust, and without you understanding that you're not in any danger, it'll be difficult to provide you the guidance you need."

"How do I do that?" I asked. I wanted to help him help me, and now that I knew he was so confident I could get through this, it gave me hope, and I was eager now. He smiled a little.

"As I mentioned before, it's a group effort." He answered, "We need you to try, and to want to try. The first step is letting yourself be open to the idea that perhaps we _can_ help you here and now. Once you achieve that, that begins to open yourself to the idea of trust, and with that resulting trust, the bond begins to form. You build up from that base of trust until it's unshakable."

I nodded, letting him know I understood, and he continued.

"You see, I'm still pretty worried." He said, "There are certain factors here that I need to constantly be aware of, and that's keeping in mind your early childhood." I frowned a little, confused. What did my early childhood have to do with anything now?

Seeing my confusion, he decided to explain.

"From the moment you were born, your entire development was based on one thing, and that's to bond. To be given the opportunity to form and keep those bonds you made to someone. In this case, it would have been to your mother and your father."

I nodded, letting him know I understood so far.

"When you were three years old," He continued, "Your father had to leave you. Breaking that bond, because back then, you didn't understand." I looked down, "You were given a replacement. That was hardly much better, but we'll address that in just a second. Your mother broke your bond with her slowly over the years, by essentially abandoning you in your crucial years of development."

This was making sense. I never had an explanation like this before.

"By breaking your trust, she broke that bond and because of that, you grew up reluctant to trust again." He pointed out, "And the only one you had left to effectively build a bond with, something that all children require and look for, was Jack." I still hated the sound of his name, "That was tried, and that was tested until you finally grew old enough to decide it wasn't going to work. Giving up the attempt altogether."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Now, here we are right now. My concern is this." He continued, "That attachment break, breaking those bonds you needed for a stable and healthy childhood creates something that will be difficult to change." He paused, and I knew he would explain, so I waited.

"It'll be difficult to change, because you have never been shown what it's like to receive the care, and nurturing that you need. Something we're trying to provide for you, but you're resistant. Because you were essentially left on your own at such a very young age, you don't trust. That's why this was such a big change for you." And finally, I understood, "That's why it's difficult to believe that you can talk to us, and that you can ask questions, without the result being pain."

"Yes," He nodded, "The way Jack treated you for so long does have its role in this, but that attachment break, that trust break is directly responsible for why you feel the way you do. It's directly responsible for how hard of a time you have around others. Why you feel insecure in social situations. That is directly responsible for how easily you resort to violence."

"It's not because I'm turning out like him?" I asked, and he hesitated.

"No." He said, "Not entirely. It's difficult to describe the balance right now. I'm sure there are a few of his behaviors you've picked up. However, I believe that the majority of your trouble is that you've developed a reluctance to trust, and because you cannot trust, you cannot bond. That's where we're at right now."

"You were closed before, and now you're beginning to see that it's alright. You're beginning to see that you're just fine where you are, and that's important." He smiled a little again, nodding, "It's a good thing, Leandra. As upsetting as the situation was today, I can confidently say that it was a success."

He was right. I had been closed off before, and I hadn't even realized it. Now that I saw what he meant, I could almost feel how hesitant, but now willing I was to open my eyes enough to see that I was alright. I was okay, and that was the one thing that made me decide to start talking.

I chose a few of the least bad memories, and I told him about them, but choosing a few of the least bad ones took as much of a toll on me as one bad one. It was hard, but I knew he would let me talk. He would listen, and he would tell me that none of what happened was my fault, and none of what happened would ever happen again. Something I needed to hear.

By the time I did manage to make it out of my room, it was easier to do so, because not many people were out there. Only Emmett and Esme were sitting there, talking as Carlisle followed me out.

"Feel any better, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I knew he meant it.

"Not really." I sniffled, "Not yet."

"You will." He said, "Just give it a minute." I hated, absolutely hated admitting those things. It bothered me, but I had chosen to do it. I felt sick after admitting those things, but to my slight relief, Carlisle didn't seem to think any less of me.

I whimpered, leaning against Emmett's arm. He took the hint, hugging me a little. I guess he was careful now. Probably thinking I wasn't up to being hugged after everything I'd admitted to Carlisle just a few moments before, but I was. I wanted to know that somebody beside Carlisle also supported me, and didn't find me as hideous as I found myself.

He must have done something right, because Carlisle gave him a nod. Probably thinking I didn't see.

"You're okay, shorty." He told me, and I found I liked comforting Emmett just a little more than joking-around Emmett.

**A/N: And chapter two.  
It was pretty tense, but that's what happens when you're stubborn. Dammit, Leandra.  
Thank you to my reviewer on chapter one. :D Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D  
Chapter three is also pretty much written out, and shouldn't take long to be released. Perhaps today? Who knows. ;D But I do know that in chapter three, we move on. We get to the good parts lol  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and look forward to getting three out to you guys soon.  
Until three, my friends. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Josh, I'm going to kick your ass!" And I would, too, if...

"You have to catch me first, slow poke!" He called back at me with a laugh. I growled, knowing he was right. I hated not being fast enough to catch him.

"Josh, what'd you do?" Heather called as we passed her.

"If she kills you, I get your room!" Zack called from where he followed us. Doubling back, he ran back the other direction, circling the bench both Heather and Carlisle sat on. I followed, nearly catching a hold of his shirt until Carlisle caught me.

"What happened?" Heather asked, looking to Josh.

"He pulled my hair." I grumbled, sitting beside Carlisle now, "I told him if he did it again, I'd sock him."

"I wanted to see if she'd do it." Josh laughed, sitting beside me. I took my opportunity, balling my fist and hitting him in the shoulder as hard as I could, "Ow!" Despite his obvious pain, he laughed, "You hit hard."

Almost two months later, having visited with the two boys almost every week, I was now comfortable enough to punch them, but only if they deserved it, and never anywhere that could seriously hurt them. I never aimed for their faces or anywhere specifically meant to cause them harm. An arm, or a leg. Maybe I'd trip them if I found the opportunity, but that was about it.

They didn't seem to mind the way other kids would. They knew I wasn't actually being mean to them. They played rougher with each other, so I knew they could handle it.

In two months, I'd come a few steps further. I was better at trusting, and a few times a week, I talked with Carlisle. I stopped striving to remember what the vision had held, and though it was slower to come, small details would come back to me as I slept.

Between nightmares, anyway. Those still haunted me, but with Carlisle's help, I had started to work through them. One step at a time, he always said. The nightmares did get bad sometimes, and never failed to send ice through my blood.

Once I learned to pay more attention to the family I lived with now like Carlisle suggested, instead of focusing on the vision, I started to grow a new kind of trust than I had before. Somehow it was more real to me now, and I became a little less reserved. He explained the reason. It was because before, I knew they could be trusted, and I knew I had trusted them, but the key word was 'had'. I'd lost that the moment I woke up, and I now had to work at rebuilding it.

I now asked more questions, having found a curiosity I hadn't allowed myself to find before. My memory was refreshed on just what living with my family meant. The guidelines, and the rules. Their schedules, and why it was dangerous for me. Carlisle wanted to make sure I understood fully. I told him what I knew. That I knew I had to be careful, especially around Jasper.

I began to develop something like a personality. Hesitantly, of course, but it was definitely there. As close as I was with my brothers, I never talked to them about how I was feeling or what was going on in my head, and I especially never talked to Esme about it. It was always only Carlisle. It wasn't that I didn't trust the others. I didn't want them poisoned along with me. If I had to talk to someone about it, it'd be the one who knew how to shake it off.

I did appreciate my family, though. More than they knew, as the moment I stopped hiding what I felt, I felt weak, but they never treated me like that. They always treated me like someone worth the trouble I put them through. As crazy as it sounded.

As I liked to think about it, instead of breaking down the wall I hid behind, they were teaching me how to come out from behind it myself.

"Josh, you've got to stop doing that." Heather sighed, shaking her head, "I mean it. Apologize to her."

"No." I said, "It's okay. I got to hit him, so I'm okay now." I grinned over at him, and he returned my smile.

"Josh?" Heather prompted anyway.

"Sorry, Leandra." He muttered, grinning over at me like I had done, and leaning over a little. I shook my head with a small laugh.

"Oh." Heather suddenly spoke up as something to the side caught her attention, but not in a good way, "Oh, we've got to get going." Looking over, I spotted a car parked beside hers. One I hadn't seen before, but it was a nice one.

"Aw." Zack murmured, "So soon?"

"Come on, boys." She sighed, standing up, "Leandra, it's always nice to see you, sweetheart." She told Carlisle goodbye as I bid goodbye to the boys, and all three of them started off. Over the grass, toward the parking lot. Curiously, I watched after her. That hadn't happened before.

I watched as she spoke to the driver of the car, seeming tense as she ushered the boys into the car. From where I was, I really couldn't see much of the driver. The windshield reflected the sky, and the windows were tinted dark.

"Who is that?" I asked, looking up at Carlisle. I knew he could see far better than I could.

"An older gentleman." He replied, seeming just as confused as I was.

"Maybe it's her boss." I suggested, watching as the new car pulled out and left before she did, "Or someone asking for Mike."

"Perhaps." He allowed, "She's asking him to meet at home instead."

"Think she's okay?" I asked, looking up at him again. I worried about her.

"I'm sure she's alright." He told me, and with that, we left the park. I tried not to let that get me down.

"Oh." I said, remembering, "I still need to get something for Bella for tomorrow." Tomorrow was her birthday. He gave me a nod, and instead of turning onto the drive toward home, he drove on, continuing on north.

"What do you always talk about?" I asked, "With Heather? Aren't you ever bored?"

"She has a lot on her mind." Carlisle replied, "A lot she doesn't even realize she admits. I find it fascinating." I smiled a little.

"Raising two boys has to be interesting." I muttered, "I know I wouldn't be able to do it. Not with how rough they are."

"That's actually never come up in conversation." He clarified, "Though, I don't doubt that you're right."

I chose a gift in the first store we tried. I didn't really know her well enough to have to put much thought into it, so I just chose something I would want. An inexpensive, but rather pretty blouse.

"How it go today, shorty?" Emmett asked as soon as we came in.

"I punched Josh." I mumbled, sitting beside him. He sighed heavily, covering my face with his hand. As a defensive move, I licked the palm of his hand. No matter what, that always worked. He squealed, yanking his hand away.

"Ew." I told me incredulously, and I grinned.

"I didn't punch him in the face." I said, "Just his arm, and he deserved it." Emmett looked to Carlisle.

"It was justified." Carlisle clarified, and Emmett allowed that.

"What'd he do?" He asked me.

"Pulled my hair." I sniffed, "I warned him not to do it again, but he did anyway. So I punched him." Reaching up, Emmett gave my hair a gentle tug and I pouted, "Don't. I don't want to break my hand hitting you."

"Stop picking on her." I yelped at Alice suddenly landing on the couch to my other side, "It's not very nice."

"Alice?" I asked, looking to her once I'd recovered, "Do you have any paper? I have to wrap this." I lifted the box with Bella's new shirt in it.

"Sure." She smiled, "Up in my room. Come on."

"No fair stealing her." Emmett called after us.

"I'll be back, silly." I called back down at him, "I have to lick your hand again." His responding laugh told me he heard me.

"Leandra." Alice scolded, but the laugh in her tone told me she wasn't mad.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You shouldn't lick anyone." Jasper commented from where he sat reading as Alice pushed open their bedroom door.

"He covered my face." I reasoned, frowning a little, "It's better than trying to bite him. That'd be a really dumb thing to do, wouldn't it?"

"You shouldn't bite anyone, either." He replied, setting his book down.

"I bite Josh when he pins me." I replied, sitting down, "He gets the hint pretty quick."

"That's not very nice, Leandra." Alice pointed out, pulling a tube of wrapping paper from her closet, "How would you like it if someone bit you?"

"I've been bitten before." I said, sitting on the side of their bed.

"You have?" She asked, glancing to me, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "And it hurt, too."

"So you shouldn't bite people." Jasper said, "How'd you like it if I went over there and bit you right now?" I winced, "Exactly."

"Okay." I frowned, "No more biting, but can I-"

"No." Alice said, laughing, "No licking, either. Next time Emmett covers your face, poke him in the ribs. He's ticklish." She sighed, shaking her head, "Now, let me see." She gestured for the box, and I handed it to her, "Can I look at it?" I nodded, smiling a little. She opened the box, smiling as she lifted the dark blue fabric out.

"Very good choice, Leandra." She smiled at me, "She's going to love it."

The party wasn't set to start until seven, and Alice had one hell of a time getting me to wear a dress. I hated it with a passion. Of course, she didn't exactly force me, but she wouldn't let me leave the room until I had it on.

It was a light blue color, and the top part was sleeveless, with little yellow flowers embroidered on it. I wanted to set it on fire, but I knew that wouldn't go over well, so I just put it on instead, buttoning the three buttons at the top with a quiet, "I hate you."

"Oh," Emmett grinned once he saw me, "Don't you look so pretty?" And I took a swing, which he dodged easily.

"I've got to teach you how to throw a punch, shorty." He chuckled, catching me before I could fall off balance.

"Don't tell me that." I snapped, glaring up at him, "Not ever." Seeing he'd actually pissed me off, he stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I didn't mean anything by it." I decided to let it go, glancing to Carlisle as I sat down on the couch.

"I would have been fine in jeans." I muttered bitterly, "I don't see why I have to wear this fucking thing." Emmett snorted, trying to hide his chuckle.

"Leandra." Esme corrected, "You shouldn't use language like that."

"Delicate little flower." Emmett commented, moving over to help Rosalie light candles.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "I look so stupid."

"Uh, no you don't." Alice replied, giving me an incredulous look, "Nobody in this family ever looks stupid."

"You look mean." Emmett offered, "But not stupid." I glared up at him, and he grinned, "See? Terrifying." Despite how irritated I still felt, I smiled a little, looking back down as he spoke again, "Light blue _is_ your color, though. It makes the color of your eyes seem even scarier." I was back to glaring with a slight hint at a pout.

"I like my eye color." I told him, "Leave my eyes out of this." I grew suspicious at his widened smile, "What?"

"That's the first time I've _ever_ heard you say you liked something about yourself." He replied, and surprised, I realized he was right. I'd always expressed dislike or hatred for everything having to do with myself.

"It's definitely a start." Jasper pointed out from the side, smiling a little.

"If you say so." I finally sighed, shrugging a little.

"Are you done picking on her, Emmett?" Alice asked, her hands on her hips.

"Finished." Emmett grinned in reply, "All done."

"Good." She said, "May I please bring them down now?"

"Of course, your majesty." He answered.

"At least someone recognizes the title." She smiled, skipping up the stairs. Smiling a little, I stood up with a sigh, moving to Emmett's side. He looked down at me, hugging my shoulders.

"Forgive me?" He asked and I nodded a little. I kept quiet, though. Returning the hug as much as I could. Something didn't sit right with me. I was nervous. I felt it in my stomach, and in my throat, and actually wondered if I would throw up. Maybe wearing this stupid dress actually made me sick? I realized I'd just have to grit my teeth and deal with it, as Alice started back down the stairs with Edward and Bella in tow.

That's when I moved back and to the side.

I still didn't trust myself around people. Glancing up at Jasper beside me, he glanced at me in return. Not commenting. He understood, given the nod he gave me. My family was pretty sturdy, but Bella wasn't like them. I didn't want to get mad over some stupid thing, and accidentally punch her. That would be bad.

I had every right to feel cautious. It wasn't that I didn't like her. The opposite. I didn't mind Bella at all. I just didn't trust myself. I didn't like hurting people, but I would if I had to.

So there I stayed, trying to ignore the nervousness constantly in my stomach. I looked up at Jasper, wondering if he felt nervous too. He sure seemed to. It only got worse as time went on, though, and I hoped he wasn't upset with me for being so nervous.

"Jasper." I murmured, worried now. I nearly managed to take his attention before I clearly heard Bella's mutter of pain, and I couldn't blame him for looking her direction. I did too.

I realized she'd cut her finger on the thick paper of the gift she held, and I winced. I hated paper cuts.

Everything sped up then.

Before I even realized what was happening, I was suddenly back. Shoved backwards and landing onto my butt on the carpet with a grunt, far away from Jasper in time for him to completely lose it. I hadn't even finished rolling back to hit the wall before he was running forward.

I sat there, somewhat off to the side as Edward shoved Bella backwards first, before catching Jasper next. Shoving him back across the room, back toward me. I realized then, as Jasper landed on the unsuspecting piano, what had happened.

The blood that escaped the paper cut in Bella's finger was too much, and Jasper realized that. He felt himself slipping, so he shoved me away from him right before he snapped. Focused on Bella, and her blood escaping, I didn't appeal to him.

Thankfully as the others restrained him, he didn't even look at where I was. I probably would have screamed, but he never did. I wasn't hurt like Bella was, I noticed, as I watched the blood flow slowly down her arm.

Sure, my butt ached from landing on it, and my chest hurt from where he shoved me, but I was fine. A little shocked, but fine.

"Leandra." Esme murmured as they took Jasper from the house, "Honey." She kneeled beside me, helping me stand up.

"I'm fine." I immediately said, "I'm okay. He moved me before anything could happen." She sighed, in relief as she smoothed my dress down.

"You're sure you're okay?" She asked, and I glanced over as Carlisle helped Bella up the stairs.

"I'm fine." I nodded, "I know he didn't mean it." Despite what I said, despite how I thought I felt, I guess I was more shaken up than I thought, and I started to cry before I'd even finished saying that.

I hated the fact that I did so, because I _did_ know he didn't mean it. I just couldn't help crying. Immediately, she put her arms around me, comforting me as I returned her hug, crying into her shoulder.

"Come on, sweetheart." Slowly, she walked with me outside. Out onto the porch.

The only one out there besides us was Rose. The others must have been out with Jasper.

"Rose," Esme said, "Please keep her company. She's a little shaken up. I need to clean up inside." I clearly saw the way Rosalie detested the idea, but nodded. Esme gave my hair one last comforting smooth, before leaving my side.

I stood there, awkwardly holding my arm.

"You don't have to stand around with me, you know." I mumbled, "I'm fine." I sat down on the top step stiffly, sniffling as I struggled to stop crying. She didn't even acknowledge I'd spoken, and I concentrated on my aching backside. I'd landed pretty hard.

"That happens, you know." She told me after a minute, a hint of hidden bitterness in her tone, "I'm shocked it hasn't happened sooner. Jazz is getting better, though. Especially since he had just enough control not to turn and kill you." That made me a little nervous, but I didn't reply.

"I think he knew Edward would stop him." She mused, her bitter tone fading, and I listened, "He knew Edward would stop him, because he knew the snap was coming. He's good like that, but he knew nobody was close enough to protect you. You just mean that much to him, I guess."

I took a deep, shaky breath. Calming down.

"So when he gets back, do me a favor." I looked up at her, "Now that you've had your cry, tell him you're fine."

"I will." I replied immediately, "He probably already feels bad enough."

"Edward's probably going to overreact." She sighed, "You watch." I didn't know what to say to that, but fell silent as movement across the yard caught my attention. Alice and Emmett came from the trees.

"How's he doing?" Rosalie asked as Alice made it to her.

"He's been better." Alice replied quietly, "How's Bella?"

"She's fine." Rose sighed, "Carlisle's taking care of her. Esme's cleaning up, so it should be safe to go back in soon." Alice's eyes fell on me, and she immediately sat beside me. Hugging me.

"I'm okay." I assured her, with more confidence this time, "It's okay."

"I'm so sorry, Leandra." She told me, "We were all just.. So focused on Bella, and-"

"It's fine." I laughed a little, "I'm not hurt anywhere." That was a lie. My chest hurt, and it was a little tough to breathe, but I wasn't about to mention that. I was probably just sore, and had the wind knocked from me.

Before she could insist, the three of them looked back to the trees. Edward crossed the yard without even really looking at us, and the look in his eyes made my heart sink as he stepped passed all of us, up the steps and into the house. Jasper followed a few steps behind, deeply angry at himself given the look in his eyes, but he stopped with us outside. He didn't go inside.

"Are you alright?" He asked me pointedly, and though I was a little intimidated by his tone, I smiled a little.

"I'm fine." I told him, "Tired of nobody believing me, but I'm fine. I'm not hurt or anything. That carpet is pretty soft, and my butt is pretty padded." Another lie. I added another small smile, laughing a little along with Emmett. The anger in Jasper's eyes lessened significantly, and he sighed. Nodding.

Alice stood up, and hugged onto his side.

"It'll be fine." She told him, and I looked to her. I could tell immediately that I wasn't the only one fibbing.

"Leandra." Carlisle's voice had me look back at him in the doorway. Around the front of the house, I heard Bella's truck start, and I figured Edward was driving her home.

"I'm fi-"

"Humor me." He insisted, and I sighed, standing up. It was easier to breathe now, so even if I was a little hurt, it wasn't that bad. I passed him into the house, "Upstairs. Into my office." I followed his instruction, slowly climbing the stairs.

He followed close behind me, and I looked up at him as he stepped around me.

"Where did he hit you?" He asked, and I frowned.

"He didn't hit me." I said, "He pushed me." He gave me a look, and I sighed. I gestured to my upper chest, "Here."

He nodded, letting me know to let him look. I sighed, unbuttoning the top portion of my dress. I peeked down the front, and winced. Carlisle was going to freak out. The bruising wasn't too dark, but it was obvious against my pale skin.

I let him look, and he sighed heavily. Immediately looking closer at the already darkening bruise.

"Does it hurt to breathe?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No." I answered, "It was a little hard to a little bit ago, but now I'm fine."

"Take a deep breath and hold it." He told me, and I did as he said. As deep as I could, and despite how the bruise ached, it didn't really hurt. After only a few seconds, he told me to let it out. I laughed a little as I had to take another breath immediately after that.

"I think you're alright." He nodded.

"Told you." I mumbled, already buttoning up my top. He sighed, standing straighter. I was quiet for a moment. He seemed distracted. Deeply concerned. I never saw him this distracted over something so small. It made me even more nervous, watching him. As if something had changed.

I hated that feeling.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed." I mumbled, watching as he looked back down at me.

"I think that's a good idea." He replied quietly, "Good night, Leandra."

"Good night." I responded, smiling a little as I turned. Leaving the room and heading downstairs. I paused beside Esme, watching her pick up the pieces of glass.

"Do you need any help?" I asked, and she smiled up at me, watching as I kneeled beside her. A rather large piece of jagged glass had taken my attention, and I focused on the way the light glinted on it. Brighter along the edge.

"No, honey." She said, "I've got it." She gently caught my hand as I went to reach for it. I smiled a little at her, "You have to be careful, honey. These are sharp."

I nodded a little, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She stood up and helped me up along with her, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." I sighed, "I'm gonna go to bed." She nodded.

"Alright, darling. Sleep well." I gave her a smile, appreciating how normal she was acting. She did a better job at hiding the tension she felt than the entire rest of the family. She smoothed my hair from my forehead and hugged me with her free hand. Her other hand held glass.

I quickly changed into my pajamas, crawling heavily into bed. They could discuss all they needed to discuss now that I was out of the way. While I laid there, I thought about what all had happened. The same nervousness I felt earlier swirled in my stomach.

What did this mean?

What happened wasn't Jasper's fault. Not in the least. He didn't mean to. It just happens sometimes. I resisted the urge to think, to try to hunt down the vision. It was hard to resist looking, as I knew the longer I waited the more would slip away, but I couldn't. I'd been doing so well, and I had to keep from undoing that.

I fell asleep, refusing to let myself look. As much as I wanted to know what happened, I knew this happened before. It had to have happened before, because I knew to be nervous.

I woke in the morning to Esme lifting me out of bed.

"Leave some clothes out for her." Esme spoke as I struggled to wake up without being too grumpy, "I haven't gotten to pack her a few things yet. Just leave a few outfits, pajamas and stuff there on the shelf in the closet. I'll get to it soon."

"You got it." Emmett replied. It was hard waking up, as I was still so tired, but I opened my eyes as she carried me from the room.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, frowning. Outside the house were three large moving vans. Which would have been confusing enough, but out in the living room, there was nothing left. No furniture, nothing there where it had been just the night before, and Esme paused beside the stairs as Alice and Rosalie carried a heavy oak desk down them, toward the door with ease.

"We're moving, honey." She told me, setting me on my feet, "Just sit tight here, okay?"

"Moving?" I asked sleepily, watching as she headed back up the hall toward my room. I stood there beside the stairs, watching as Rose and Alice came back inside. Alice giving me a comforting smile as she passed me on her way back up the stairs.

Boxes and boxes of books and things came from up the stairs, and I only got more confused. Carlisle and Rose met in the empty living room. Rose took the stack of five boxes from him easily.

"Emmett and I will take this stuff, and come back." Rose offered, and Carlisle handed her two keys with a nod. From the hall, my bedroom furniture came next.

"Is there room for this in there?" Emmett asked, holding both my mattress and box-spring over his head.

"Yeah." Rose nodded, leading the way outside, "On top." Jasper followed him with the rest of the pieces to my bed. I was so lost. I followed Carlisle up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trailing behind him back into his now empty office.

"We've got a place in Ithaca we'll be going to." He informed me distractedly.

"Where's that?" I asked, attempting to lift a box. I grunted, unable to lift it much higher than an inch or so off the floor.

"New York." He told me, lifting the box easily.

"New York?" My tone reflected my shock, "I'm going too?" I asked, and for the strangest reason, that surprised me.

"Yes, Leandra." He replied, "We'll be gone by noon." I watched after him as he left the room, frowning in confusion. I decided then to just stay out of the way until they were less busy. Majority of everything upstairs was already out of the house, and it left my head spinning to see it this empty.

They must have had a storage place somewhere, because about half an hour later, Rose and Emmett returned with the two large trucks. Both empty and ready to be filled with the last minute stuff, and the third truck was taken next.

"Esme and I will leave first." Carlisle told the rest of the family once everything was done, "I want to get Leandra there quickly, just so she has a chance to get settled. If we have few detours, we should get there by tomorrow night, or Thursday morning. We've already called ahead, and had the house readied, so it'll be ready by the time we get there."

I bit my lip, now dressed as I sat on the bottom step. I was still lost, but I hadn't had a chance to ask yet.

"Emmett, Rose." Carlisle continued, "If you will, please unload the last two trucks, and return them."

"Not a problem." Emmett smiled, letting him know he didn't mind. He looked to me, "See you there, shorty." I nodded, unable to return his smile. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I just learned everything about this house, and now we were moving?

I watched as he and Rose left the house.

Esme hugged both Alice and Jasper tightly before we left the house, too. Would they be coming too? Alice hugged me as well, and Jasper hardly looked at me. He seemed the more unhappy of the group.

Esme got me into the car and waited outside, as if she were convinced I'd make a break for it. Three huge black bags were placed into the trunk, and I knew those were probably filled with clothes and stuff I'd need when we got there.

Still stuck in the back, we got going. Nervously, I looked back, back to the house and Alice standing on the porch talking to both Emmett and Rose. Despite Alice and Emmett's upbeat attitude inside, they seemed unhappy now.

Did this have anything to do with what happened the night before? Why suddenly I was taken out of bed, and everything had already been packed up? Now I regretted going to bed early, because I completely missed any sort of discussion that went on the night before.

"You're not dropping me off at the dog pound, are you?" I asked nervously, and Esme looked back at me.

"Of course not." She murmured, surprised, "No, honey." I believed her, so I didn't ask again. Sitting straight in my seat, looking out the window.

I made one request as we reached town, and since it wasn't so hard, Carlisle allowed it. Having them stop outside the school so I could search for Josh out on the playground for recess. If I was lucky, I'd see him, and I'd get to say goodbye to him before we left.

Climbing from the car, I made my way over the grass to the edge of the open playground. Luckily, he was right there, and had noticed me step out of the car. Both he and Zack came running over before I made it very far in with the other kids.

"Hey." He smiled, "Starting school anyway?" I wondered how hard this would be for them. I wondered if it would bother them at all.

"No." I said, looking down, "We're moving today." That was a shock to both of them, and I could clearly see it. I couldn't blame them. It was still a shock to me.

"Where?" Josh asked, surprised, "We'll still see you, right?"

"We're moving to New York." I said sadly, "So probably not."

"Where?" He asked, "Dad's got a sister in Rochester."

"I don't know where that is," I said, "But we'll be living in Ithaca. Wherever that is."

"Maybe we can visit sometime." He said, "That's real close by."

"Maybe." I smiled a little, appreciating how open he was being about this. He wasn't mad at me for having to move like I thought he'd be. A group of kids came running by, and I cringed away from them like they were on fire.

They'd seen me do that before, so that was nothing new to them.

"Well, here." Josh spoke up again, patting his pockets, "Do you have any paper?"

"Uh." I said, "Let me go ask." I turned, and jogged back to the car. They followed, so I had to ask, "Paper?" Carlisle handed me a small notepad and a pen. I turned back around, not knowing how much time they still had. Handing it to Josh as Zack greeted Carlisle politely.

On the pad, Josh wrote down his name, his address, and his e-mail address.

"I don't know how to use e-mail." I muttered, surprised as I looked it over.

"You'll figure it out." He smiled, "It's easy." Well, at least I had his address now, I figured, "Zack lives there too. So if you have to send him something."

"I'll give you our new address when I know it." I said, laughing a little, and he smiled.

"Leandra." Carlisle requested behind me, gesturing to the pad of paper. I handed it to him, and watched as he wrote down the address for them. I smiled a little my thanks, handing the page to Josh. He smiled down at it also, nodding. Folding the piece of paper neatly and sliding it into his pocket.

"Um.." I had to say it, "If you see Jack, don't give him that. Please." They knew I didn't get along with him, and I never explained why, but they understood not to ask. Confidently, Josh shook his head.

"Don't worry about that." He assured me. I nodded as I looked down, feeling a sort of sadness I hadn't been anticipating. I didn't want to say goodbye to them. It bothered me. Like I was losing them.

"Say goodbye to Andrew for me?" I asked, and they both nodded, "I'd do it myself, but there isn't that much time."

"It's okay." Zack told me, "Josh will forget, but I'll remember." I smiled.

"Thanks." I mumbled, "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"Trust me." Josh replied, "We'll miss you too. You're probably the coolest girl we know. All the others are.." He trailed off, wrinkling his nose, "Really, _really_ boring." I laughed, feeling a little better. Knowing they cared whether or not I was gone was a comforting feeling.

Nodding as he hugged me, Josh laughed along with me. I said my goodbyes to Zack too, just as the bell rang. Signaling the end of recess, and they had to go back.

"Bye, Leandra." Zack called as they both headed inside. I smiled a little, turning back to the car. Climbing in with a sigh.

"I'm gonna miss them." I admitted quietly as Carlisle started the car.

"I'm sorry, honey." Esme offered, "

I fell asleep sometime after they stopped to get me something for dinner. I didn't eat much. Far too irritable, and slightly queasy from subtle depression kept me from doing so. I didn't look at how fast we were going, but it surprised me when we made it fourteen hours worth of distance before sunset. I trusted Carlisle, so I wasn't worried about the speed. I knew he was careful.

By the time Carlisle finally did decide to stop later that night, we were already through Montana, and halfway into North Dakota. He didn't need to tell me that we were making good time, because I knew that. A day's worth of driving in less than twelve hours.

Me complaining that my butt hurt was why he stopped at all, so they let me sleep through the rest of the night, and halfway through the morning. This trip, though farther of a distance than California, was taking far less time. Maybe because back then, I'd been covered head to toe in bruises that stiffened more painfully the longer I sat, and being stuffed into a backseat for this long would have been tormentingly painful?

Now, it was only mildly painful compared to what that would have been, but mind-numbingly, tear-inducingly boring.

I'd been pretty silent since Washington, not having much to say. I knew they didn't like this any more than I did, but I had yet to ask for an explanation. I think I was just waiting for them to offer one, rather than be the demanding little shit most kids in my situation would have been. Even Esme told me how well I was dealing with this.

Oh, if she could read thoughts.

I knew they didn't like this any more than I did, given the way Esme would look to Carlisle. Either she worried about completely ruining the sense of stability I'd built there at the old house, or she just wanted to go back like I did. Probably both, considering I felt both myself, and some nausea.

I understood Carlisle's rush now. He just wanted to keep me from throwing up all over the backseat of his car, due to emotions and nerves nobody in our current position could cure. That was a lie, I told myself. He knew I was only nervous and deeply uncomfortable. I was just being bitter.

Another twelve hours, I told myself as we started off again the next morning. That's it. We'd be there that night. I hated long car rides, but apparently, I was still doing well. It might have had something to do with the way I didn't throw a fit when they tried to get me back into the backseat to leave the hotel. Why was I being like this?

To pass the time, and to keep from hitting my head against the window to gain blissful unconsciousness, I decided to finally ask what I wanted to ask. To end my silent protest, and finally ask the questions that had been burning in my stomach since we left Forks.

"Why did we leave?" I asked, and Esme looked back to me. Probably surprised I was speaking to them at all.

"Oh, honey. It's a long story." She replied sadly, "I know how strange this must be for you." It's not strange, I corrected bitterly. It's cruel.

"Was it something I did?"

"Of course not, sweetheart." She told me, "No. It's.. It's complicated."

"Was it because of what happened the other night?" I asked, quieter now. She hesitated, looking to Carlisle.

"Partially." She allowed, and I nodded. Looking back out the window briefly.

"Are Alice and Jasper going to be there with us?" I asked, slight nervousness in my tone. I'd been nervous that the entire family was splitting up. That I'd lose them like I lost Josh and Zack. I couldn't do that again. Maybe that's what been bugging me this whole time, I thought. I was scared about splitting up. I should just be happy they didn't make me make my own way there.

Stop it, I told myself. Knock it off.

"They'll be there." Esme assured me, and I breathed a sigh in relief. Closing my eyes briefly.

"What about Emmett and Rose?" I asked, "They'll be there?"

"Sure are." She answered, her tone telling me she knew I was feeling insecure and grumpy, and she was trying to get me out of my mood.

"I don't like splitting up." I mumbled, and she smiled a little.

"It's just for now, sweetheart." She said, "They'll be there within a day after we get there, so you won't be lonely for very long." That relieved me quite a bit more, but I wouldn't relax until I knew they were there with us.

"What about Bella?" I asked, and that was the one I knew she was hoping I wouldn't ask about. She was quiet, sighing sadly as she looked to Carlisle. He'd been silent through this, and I could sense his concern now.

"She's staying behind." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him. Frowning.

"Wouldn't her dad let her go?" I asked, and he shook his head slightly.

"It's more complicated than that, Leandra." He replied gently, and I sensed that now was time to change the subject to avoid becoming that little shit I worried about earlier. I pursed my lips, thinking about what else I could bring up.

"And my butt really hurts." I frowned, thumping my head lightly against the window. I was particularly irritable that day, and now that I knew someone would listen to my complaining, I was prepared to let it fly. Without even realizing it. Esme smiled a little once more.

"I think you're going to like it there." She offered a hint of positivity in an attempt to counter-act my negativity, but I was more stubborn than that. My luck, I'd annoy the hell out of them until they left me on the side of the road somewhere.

Stop it, I told myself again.

"I liked it there." I replied quietly.

"I know, honey." She murmured, "I know."

"I don't like new places." I mumbled, "I was just getting used to it _there_. I didn't want to leave." I sighed, laying to the side. Sprawling across the seat. It hurt too much to sit upright.

"Sit up, honey." Esme requested, "It's not safe."

"My butt hurts." I told her again, "A lot."

And so we stopped, and that's when both Esme and I discovered that I'd either bruised, or broken my tail bone when I landed on the floor the other night as a result from Jasper's shove. Most likely bruised, she said, since I could still sit on it. Carlisle wasn't pleased to hear about that, and said something about how I should have mentioned it before.

I was given some Tylenol for the pain, and after some time, it did help.

I watched out the window again, half wishing this was just a joke. I wanted to go back. New places always made me nervous, as I never knew what to expect, and I had the strongest sense of nervousness, like I wasn't looking forward to something, but I had no idea what it was.

Maybe it was something having to do with what happened before, in the vision? I wasn't sure. I didn't think that was it. Maybe I wouldn't like the house? To keep myself from going crazy, I decided that was it.

Until we finally did get there, and I figured out that that wasn't it. Esme and I stood out front while Carlisle pulled the bags from the trunk of the car.

It was dusk, but the entire house was already lit. Waiting for our arrival.

I fell in love instantly with this house, just from the sheer beauty of it. I smiled tiredly up at it, loving the way it looked. It was pretty large, just like the house back home was, but the style was completely different.

Encasing the small grassy front yard was a four foot wall made up entirely of large, reddish sandy colored stones.

The front of the house had the same large reddish sandy colored stones making up the outer walls and the balconies the two upper floors had. The windows weren't anything like the other house. These were tall, long and rounded at the top. Cut into the face of the house like the house had been build around them.

Doors above us held the same shape as the windows, and were a dark brown color. The slanted roof held red ceramic tiles that only added to the beauty of the entire house, and it covered the top floor's balcony. Thin, what looked like cast iron metal encased the balconies in a beautiful woven pattern.

Those had to be the bedrooms up there, I thought to myself.

The front door was a larger rounded shape, and the soft, gold glow of the lights along the matching walkway and the lights along the large, wrap-around porch gave it a very warm feeling. Just by looking at it. The porch held up the upper floor's balconies with thick, intricately carved dark wooden pillars.

Grass on either side of the sand-stone walkway, with a wide open view of the sky above us. No tree in sight to block the stars just beginning to show.

"Wow." I breathed, amazed. I'd known they had homes all over, but this one, I knew, would remain my favorite. Aside from the one at home, of course. That one would always be my very favorite. Esme smiled down at me, hugging me into her side.

I was even more stunned as she led me inside the house. Carlisle following closely. The interior was perhaps even more beautiful than outside.

It kept the wide open floor plan of the other house, but instead of light, bright colors, it had warm browns and tans. From the flawless hardwood, and tan colored rug beneath our feet, to the beige color of the ceiling and selected walls.

The ceiling was vaulted, with dark wooden beams running through it. The tall ceiling gave much more room for the towering, generously stocked bookshelf against the far wall between the living area and the kitchen. Directly to our left was a curved staircase, leading to the upper floors.

"I think this house is bigger." I murmured, looking up and around.

"Oh, maybe a little." Esme agreed quietly, "Do you like it?"

"I love it." I murmured without hesitation, "There's so much _room_."

"The others will be along soon." She assured me.

"This place is amazing." I felt like I couldn't breathe, "I've never seen it before."

"Really?" She asked, moving us forward so Carlisle could place the bags on the floor inside.

"Yeah." I mumbled, distracted as I looked around, "I think before, you left me behind." That surprised her, given the way she looked to Carlisle.

"Why would we do that?" She asked, and I just shrugged, taking a few more steps inside. I was tired, but I wanted to keep looking around.

"I don't remember yet." I admitted, "I've been trying not to look." I glanced to Carlisle, "Maybe that's what was bugging me so much on the way here."

"I'll show you your room." Esme offered, and I nodded as she lifted one of the bags easily. That one was probably mine. They all looked the same to me, and it had to have three months worth of my clothes in there.

I followed her to the stairs, stepping up the wide steps alongside her. This house had many more bedrooms in it than the other one, which was surprising to me. There looked to be four on the second floor, and probably just as many on the third.

Maybe while they lived here, everyone got their own room if they wanted it?

Strategically placed paintings and framed pictures hung on the wall. Down at the end of this hallway, was another set of stairs. Shorter, and not as extravagant, but the same colored wood.

Up on the third floor, the second to last door on the left, she opened. The light inside the room was already on, a tall standing lamp in the corner set the room in the same golden glow as outside. The furniture in the room was a heavy looking wood, with gold accents.

The bed looked impossibly huge for someone as small as me. At least a king sized bed, but to me, it looked even bigger than that. The bed frame, foot-board and head-board were mostly shiny gold metal, but decorated with painted, vividly red roses. The contrast of the colors stunned me for a moment.

A large, short dresser sat against the wall beside us with an ornate mirror attached to it. Another tall dresser sat to our left, between the closet, and another door that surprised me once I realized what it was. An attached bathroom. I wouldn't have to cross the hall to take a shower.

I wouldn't know what to do with all of this room.

"Everything should be here if you want to get settled." She told me, "Would you like me to stay?"

"It's okay." I told her, "I know you've got stuff to do." And I'd really prefer to get to know my bedroom here a bit on my own. Of course, I didn't tell her that part. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She smiled, stroked my hair.

"Let me know if you need anything, honey." She said, "We're right downstairs." I smiled up at her and nodded, watching as she turned and left the room. Leaving the bag by the door. Before dealing with the clothes and things inside the bag, I slowly wandered around the room. Though the hardwood floor creaked a little, it was quiet. A painting across the room from the bed, over the tall dresser caught my eye.

It was a rather large painting of a vase filled with roses. It matched the roses painted on the bed frame, and I focused on the thorns on the stems of the roses for a moment. Even at my age, and my obvious inexperience with art, I knew most painters didn't bother painting the thorns unless they were meant to mean something.

If we were ever to move back home, I'd want this painting to come back with us.

I ran my hand over the cold metal of the foot-board on the bed, despite how warm the room was. I rounded the bed, headed for the other side of the room. To the large set of double doors, that led out to the top floor's balcony. Thick, sheer curtains covered the glass of the door, but still added to the door's beauty.

Unlocking it, I quietly pulled open the door. Surprised by the breeze that instantly blew into the room. It was a warm breeze, but I somehow sensed a chill in it that unnerved me slightly. Fall was coming quickly.

This place also smelled differently than at home. It didn't have the wet, earthy smell home had. It didn't hold that constant scent of rain home had.

Another painful pang of homesickness touched me, but I quickly shook that off. I knew Carlisle and Esme were right down stairs, and that comforted me. If I was with them, I'd handle anything. The others were coming soon, Esme had also said. They'd be here once they had everything they needed.

I still didn't fully understand what prompted this sudden move, but I wasn't minding it so far. I had never known houses this beautiful existed. It was like walking around inside a painting in itself.

I stepped out onto the balcony, the stone under my shoes making no noise. No sound. I only went far enough to touch the cast iron railing, wrapping my hands around it and looking around. The view from up this high was beautiful.

A few miles away, I could clearly see the lights of the city. Through fields, more houses, and a few standing trees further off, they were bright. It got dark quickly, and the stars were really bright, despite having the entire outside of the house brightly lit.

Taking a very deep breath, I smiled a little, though I still felt like crying. I told myself I would like it here. I had to. There was no other choice.

I yawned, and decided I had plenty of time to look around later. After I'd had time to rest from the cross-country move. Stepping back inside, closing the doors behind me.

I got to work unpacking my clothes, finding places to put them for now. Taking my time hanging up the folded shirts in the giant closet, and putting the jeans away. I found many, many sets of pajamas, and chose my favorite ones.

My bathroom, I discovered, had a separate standing shower, and a tub the size of a swimming pool. I shook my head with a small smile. They didn't do anything half-way.

It never stopped surprising me when I was brave enough to turn the hot water knob in the shower. I couldn't help it. I adjusted the temperature, and didn't hesitate in stepping in. It felt too good to waste time. I was tired from the incredibly long drive.

I barely managed to turn off the light before climbing under the heavy blanket on the bed. Despite how dark it was in the room, I could still find light coming into the room from outside, and the well-lit yard. Just enough to keep me from being afraid, but not enough to keep me awake.

**A/N: This took me awhile. Something about this chapter was bugging me, and it still is. Like something's missing, so if you find anything wrong with it, I apologize. I hope you don't, but if you do, I'm oh-so sorry.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last two chapters! Eeeee I could just hug all of you! :D  
I realized that I still haven't mentioned my facebook page on this story yet.  
So for all of you that don't know about it, my Facebook name is Kneu Neu, and I'm usually stuck on there all day if you want updates/sneak peeks/snippets now and then. Certain music selections, and little RL comments for your viewing enjoyment. :D Really. It's like a party over there.  
I hope you felt this chapter was satisfactory, and I'll get started on four lol  
Until then, my friends. :]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I woke pretty rested in the morning, taking my time waking up. I thought the bed would be too overwhelming, but I loved it. There was so much room to stretch out. Rolling over onto my back with a yawn, I kicked the blanket off of me.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, the brightness of the room made me smile, surprisingly. Having been so tired when I went to bed the night before ensured I slept through the night, no matter where I was.

Then I remembered.

Smiling wider, I hopped out of bed, and scurried downstairs, spotting what I was looking for as I jumped off the bottom step. Taking an almost flying leap over the back of the chair, I landed half sideways across Emmett's lap before I could stop and wonder if he'd mind. He didn't seem to mind as he laughed, tickling me a little.

"Hi." He grinned, and I returned it.

"Hi."

"I take it you missed me?" He asked and I rolled my eyes a little.

"How could I not?" I asked, "Nobody pisses me off like you do."

"Aw, I'm flattered." He told me and I grinned. Climbing off of him, I sighed. Sitting on the couch. Glancing around, I knew he and Rose must have been here awhile.

"I'm getting too old for that stuff." He chose not to comment on that, "Why didn't you wake me up when you got here?"

"You need your beauty sleep." He replied with a nod, "And I didn't want to scare you again."

"I've been getting better about that." I frowned a little.

"What are you going to do today, shorty?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"I have no idea." I frowned, and he smiled, "Probably exactly what I did back at home. Sit around and bug you."

"Town's just a little bit that way." He suggested, "Go make friends or something." I wrinkled my nose.

"I _had_ friends." I pouted, laying back and he smirked.

"There's that famous moodiness Esme was talking about." He chuckled, "I'd think you'd have been happy to get out of that place. Brand new place. New start, and all that."

"You know me." I mumbled, "I didn't change just because we live somewhere else now."

"I'd drag you out there myself, but we've gotta be more careful here, shorty." He sighed, lounging back as well, "It's sunny."

"I see that." I nodded, laughing a little, "Maybe I'll just.. I don't know. Circle the house. Catch bugs or something."

"Your luck, one would bite you." He pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Probably." I had to agree with him.

Sighing, I flopped my leg up onto the coffee table. Pursing my lips as I thought.

When we left, I'd been doomed to stay friend-less. I already missed the boys, and I had no idea when I'd see them again. I kept thinking about how unconcerned they were when I told them I was leaving. It wasn't that they wouldn't miss me, but it was more like they wouldn't let it bother them.

That was easier for them to do than for me to do.

"You okay?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Just thinking." I answered, and he knew by my tone that that's all it was. For right then, anyway.

Suddenly, I remembered. I had a way to talk to them. Well, Josh anyway. The little folded piece of paper sitting on my dresser upstairs.

"Hey," I sat upright, "How do you use e-mail?"

He smirked, "You don't know how?" I shook my head, "Where have you been the last sixteen years?"

"Can you show me?" I asked, ignoring his teasing.

"Sure." He finally chuckled, standing. Standing up as well, I followed him further into the house. Passed the stairs, there was a small hallway that held two more rooms, a separate bathroom, a closet, and another small office.

"Stay." I said, turning and running from the room. I had to go get the piece of paper. I stumbled a little, tripping on the stairs on my haste up them, but I managed to catch myself, "Ouch."

I ignored the throbbing pain in my toes, continuing on.

It really wasn't that hard to figure out, just like Josh said. It didn't take me that long to set everything up, and I sent Josh a message, saying I was alive.

There were rules, though, to using the computer. Emmett wasn't joking around when he told me this, so I knew to pay attention. If nobody was around to watch what I did, I shouldn't stray. Just e-mail, and that's it. Stay away from chat rooms and things like them, and if I ever found myself in one, never give out my name or where I live.

Blah, blah. All of that was common sense.

"I can handle it." I nodded, and he smirked.

"If you say so." He said, "But if I find out you didn't follow these rules, I'll kick your butt from here back to Washington."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it." He said, "There are a lot of weirdos out there."

"I know that." I reminded him, "If anybody knows that, it's me. I'm not gonna be doing anything else but e-mailing Josh. Maybe Zack too."

"Alright." He said, nodding. I laughed a little, standing up.

Emmett and I wasted the morning and most of the afternoon by watching a movie marathon on TV, and I forgot all about wandering around outside.

Rose and Esme unpacked boxes of things taken from the old house while we lazed around. Pictures and things Emmett and Rose had brought with them.

"Should you really be letting her watch this stuff, Emmett?" Esme frowned, finally catching on. A wrapped picture frame in her hands.

"I hide her eyes when it gets bad." Emmett assured her, "Or she does it herself." She shook her head, continuing on with what she was doing.

It wasn't even dark yet before Alice and Jasper showed up, and I immediately felt a little better.

It was hard, the night before when we'd gotten there and nobody else was with us. Now that almost everybody was here, I felt like I could start adjusting. I missed home, but not as much as I would have if they weren't here with me. I knew that immediately, but there was someone missing.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked from where I stood hugging Alice, "I haven't seen him all day."

"He's at work, honey." Esme answered, and I frowned.

"Already?" I asked, "So soon? I mean, we just got here."

"They had an immediate opening." She smiled a little, "People tend to make room for him." Maybe what Andrew had said about Carlisle wasn't so far off? About how good of a doctor Carlisle was, and the fact that everyone knew it. Aside from me, apparently.

"Oh." I mumbled, "Well, that's good I guess."

"He'll be home soon." Esme assured me, smiling at my slight disappointment. I let Alice and Jasper into the house, looking up at Jasper. He still had yet to look directly at me, and I frowned. Was it something I did?

I didn't want to ask, and risk pissing him off even more. He didn't seem pissed off, though. More like unhappy. Distracted, or deep in thought. I've been there before, so I left it alone.

"What about Edward?" I asked, curious, "When is he coming?"

"He's not." Alice told me after a moment of awkward silence, and I frowned, "He might visit now and then, but.." She trailed off, shaking her head.

I didn't know what to say to that. Learning that Edward wasn't going to show up bothered me. I'd been a little hopeful I could talk to him a little more, because as it was, he was the most unfamiliar to me.

I couldn't help thinking that Edward's decision not to follow the family was because I was here. Thinking back to that day. I stopped those thoughts, though. If the family had been trying to teach me anything, it was that I had to learn that not every single problem in the world was my fault.

"Come help me unpack?" Alice offered, and I glanced up at Jasper.

"Um." I mumbled, "I'd rather not." I was still pretty out of it. I wasn't feeling all that well, and I was sure it showed.

"Trying to steal her again?" Emmett asked from his place on the couch, "I'm not done picking on her."

"Oh, I only looked away twice." I mumbled in my defense, looking to him.

I did follow her, however. Curious, despite myself, which room was theirs. I was always sort of separated from the family, my room being on the first floor. She smiled a little at me as she showed me that she and Jasper had the room beside mine.

So that was one positive note. Theirs looked almost like mine. About the same size, but with a much different color scheme, and it seemed more homey. Where mine was mostly made up of light brown, gold and red, theirs was more of a beige and light blue.

"How are you liking it here so far?" Alice asked, setting her bag down.

"My bed is huge." I offered, and she laughed a little.

"Does that bother you?" She asked, looking to me as I leaned against one of the posts on their four-poster bed.

"No." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "I just miss home, I guess."

"I know." She replied quietly, "This is something that happens a lot, though. You'll get used to it. After awhile, where you are stops mattering so much."

"I've never lived anywhere but Washington." I admitted and she smiled, "So it wasn't just that I hated Ken that scared me so much about having to live in California." She looked down.

"You shouldn't be thinking about him."

"I know." I replied, "I can't help it, though."

"Has that happened a lot today?" She asked, and I knew what she meant. She was referencing my inability to control where my mind wandered.

"Yeah." I admitted with a sigh, "I didn't tell Emmett, though. He's been so nice to me."

"What about Esme?" She asked, and I shook my head, "Leandra, you shouldn't hide it."

"It's just hard." I mumbled, "I'm still stuck, I think." I looked up as Jasper appeared in the doorway, "Um.. I'll be downstairs." I forced a smile to Alice, looking to Jasper again as I left the room. Listening to her sigh sadly behind me. I half expected Jasper to tell me it was alright if I stayed, but he never said a word, so I kept going.

Flopping back down beside Emmett with a sigh.

"Tough day?" He asked, and I stayed quiet. Knowing he probably heard what I told Alice before. I just kept my eyes on the TV, and he didn't press.

By the time Carlisle did come home, I was eagerly looking forward to his arrival. I'd missed him. However, he was distracted. Heavily so. Like Jasper had been, and I wondered what they had to be so distracted about, even if they weren't about the same things.

Hardly noticing me standing there, and instinct told me to stay out of the way. Even if I was curious, I wouldn't press. Everything was so _different_ now. Before, I'd never felt like I was in the way. Not when it came to Carlisle, but that was the distinct feeling I got now.

Carlisle told us he needed to talk to Esme, so Emmett took me outside. That usually meant it was about me, so naturally, I was nervous. So, since the sun had fallen behind the trees, Emmett walked with me. We left the front yard, and slowly stepped along the deserted street. The street was paved, but ours was the only house for a good while. Then again, I'd only seen the front of the house so far, I reminded myself.

Though I was dressed, I hadn't grabbed my shoes before leaving the house, but the street was warm from the sun on it all day. I watched my feet on the smooth pavement, stepping over small pebbles.

"Sorry you got stuck with me while they talked about me." I muttered, looking up at Emmett beside me.

"I don't mind." Emmett told me with a grin, "I'll babysit you."

"If you sit on me, I'll stab you." I mumbled, and he looked to me.

"That's not very nice." His attempt to hide his laughter failed. Even I had to laugh a little at how serious I was when I said that.

"And I'm not a baby." I reminded him.

"More of a baby than I am." He replied, "And since I'm older, I get to sit on you. That's how it works."

"Is it?" I laughed a little, "You'll smash me."

"Nah. I wouldn't do that to you. Especially since I heard you broke your butt." Emmett said conversationally, and I looked up at him.

"I didn't break my butt." I muttered, "I bruised it."

"So much for padding, huh?"

"I'm not fat." I reminded him. He shook his head, laughing a little, "Does everybody know about that?"

"No." He smiled, finding it amusing, "I overheard Esme telling Rosalie about it." I rolled my eyes a little.

"In other words, mostly everybody knows about it but Alice and Jasper."

"Pretty much."

I sighed, "It hardly hurts anymore."

It fell quiet as we walked. Several minutes of that went by, and the entire time, I knew he was watching me. I kept my gaze down, and I could feel the nearly permanent frown on my face. The seemingly never-ending crease in my brow.

Trying to make sense of everything, unavoidably, I thought too much.

"Where'd you go, shorty?" He asked after several minutes, knowing my moods. I sighed, shaking my head a little.

"A long time ago." I mumbled in reply. I knew it was useless to try to hide it anymore. Emmett was far more observant than that.

"Wanna talk about it?" I slowly shook my head. He sighed, "Shorty, you know you can talk to us. It doesn't always have to be to Carlisle."

"I know." I mumbled, sighing.

"We're all here for you." He told me, and I was quiet, "I mean, it's really not like we have anything better to do."

"So I'm a hobby?"

"Um." I couldn't help smiling a little, "That's _not_ what I meant. Unless you think it's a good thing, then that's totally what I meant."

"I don't even know." I admitted, laughing a little, until that faded too.

"So tell me a story." He urged after another few seconds of silence, nudging me.

"A story?"

"Yeah." He said, "Make it a good one." I thought for a minute.

"Once upon a time," I mused, "The world blew up, and everybody died. The end."

"A real story." He chuckled, but I didn't smile. I took a breath, thinking again. Several minutes passed by as Emmett waited patiently.

Emmett had always been the one I went to for light-hearted conversation. He knew, I was sure, what I went through, but I'd never admitted to him just how much I suffered, still, on a daily basis. Jasper knew because he had no choice. Carlisle had always been the one I talked to. Never Emmett. This would be a first.

Finally, I pursed my lips, and started again.

"Once upon a time," I murmured quietly, "There was a little girl who hated the world and everybody in it." He knew where this was going immediately. I wasn't stupid, and neither was he, "The little girl was six years old, but she was a smart little girl. She was smart, but very confused. There were still things she couldn't figure out.

"The kids she met at school didn't see her. The teachers she saw at school didn't see her. Nobody saw her. It took her a little while to figure out the reason why. It was because the little girl was invisible.

"In a little house that nobody saw, on a dirt road that nobody saw, she lived with her mother, who was just as useless to her as she would be if she weren't even there, and her stepfather."

I faltered on the last word. I didn't have to look at Emmett to know he was listening. Concentrating on my footsteps, and watching where I was going as I continued on with the little story.

"Day in and day out, the little girl would kneel beside her mother laying on the little couch. Kneeling on the floor. In the little house that nobody saw. The little girl would stay there for hours. Oh, how the little girl would cry."

I faltered again on the last word, my voice breaking quietly. I paused for a quiet sob as I shakily, but firmly continued, "The little girl would cry, her heart so broken she just knew that any second, she would die.

"'Mommy,' The little girl would ask, 'Why am I invisible? Why can nobody see me? Can't you see me?' The little girl would always be so very disappointed, because even her mother couldn't see her. Until that night, when the one person who could see the little girl would get home."

I trailed off, my voice quieting as Emmett listened closely.

"The little girl's stepfather wasn't a very good person, and she hated him. She hated him, and he hated her, and he hated her so much, that his hate would leave bruises on the little girl." From the corner of my eye, I noticed Emmett look down, "The little girl would look at her bruises, and she would hate them. She would look at herself in the mirror, she would see the bruises of her stepfather's hate, and she would hate herself." Again, I went quiet.

"The little girl's stepfather would hit her, and he would hurt her, and he would tell her very mean things. Until one day, she started to believe him.

"'Why else,' The little girl would ask herself, 'Would he tell me these things unless they were true? They must be true.' And that was because those things _were_ true."

The silence stretched on, not even our footsteps enough to break me from my story now.

"There on the floor of the little girl's little bedroom, in the little house that nobody saw, the little girl learned how to stop living. She didn't die, but she wasn't alive anymore. She wasn't alive anymore, but the little girl's stepfather still saw her. He still saw her, he still hated her, he still hit her, and he still hurt the little girl.

"With a smile, and a laugh, he would tell the little girl that she deserved it. That she was alive only for his entertainment, and because he hadn't decided that she should die yet. He always used that word, too. 'Yet'. He always told her that sooner or later, he would get bored of her. She wasn't broken enough for him yet, though. Not yet. So he kept trying.

"Then one day, the little girl caught herself wishing. The little girl would wish with all her might that she would turn invisible, and she finally realized that that was why nobody could see her. Because she had wished that she was invisible so hard, and so many times, that it had come true, but not for the one person she was wishing it for.

"And so the girl continued to grow up. Invisible, but not to the one person who could still see her. The little girl learned how to go on, invisible and forgotten. She never forgot how to hurt, but she learned how to deal with it. Knowing what it was doing to her, but being too weak, and too stupid to stop it.

"Hurting so very much that she even forgot how to see herself. The little girl had forgotten how to see herself, because she hated herself _so_ much. Until finally, one day, the little girl just disappeared completely. She stopped hurting, she stopped feeling. She stopped trying to see herself because to her, it didn't matter anymore."

"Shorty, maybe-"

"Until one day." I continued, interrupting him and my tone much firmer, "The little girl felt again, but it wasn't what she should feel. While the little girl was hiding, all the pain she had been taught had turned into something else. She knew it wasn't supposed to be that way, but it was, and there was nothing in the world anybody could do to change what that pain had turned into.

"The little girl hated herself so much now, all she wanted to do was hate others. She hated other people, and she wanted to hurt them. She wanted them to feel as much _pain_ as she felt, because she was just _so_ sure it would make her feel a little better. The little girl was scared of who she was now, but that still didn't change anything.

"She continued to hate others, for abandoning her or for never having to feel the pain she always had to feel, but the more she hated others, the more she hated herself."

My voice had quieted to almost a whisper, and I trailed off, not yet looking at Emmett. I could feel his horrified gaze, so I decided to end the story on a wishful thought.

"Until one day it got to be too much, and she finally did something to prevent anyone else from having to know what kind of a monster she is, and to finally put an end to the pain and the hate. She didn't want to do it, but she knew it was for the best. Once the little girl was gone, the world was a better place." I waited for a second, "The end."

We walked in silence once more, this time neither of us expecting me to say something else. If he only knew how much I wished that ending were true, and how often I thought about it without even realizing it. Now I realized it, and it scared me even more.

"Aw, shorty.." He obviously didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything either. Eventually, he stopped, and slowly stopped me as well. Turning me to face him. I could only glance up at him, noting his deep concern. I only managed one sob before he lifted me up, and hugged me.

Standing there in the middle of the road, he hugged me tight and I returned it.

I'd been doing so well, but now I was beginning to learn that the pain never goes away. It never stops hurting, but I just learn how to deal with it. I felt him turn around, and I knew he was carrying me back toward home. With me stuck to the front of him like a monkey. Trembling with silent sobs I knew he could hear.

"If I wasn't before," Emmett murmured to me, "I'm now a lot more inclined to agree with Edward."

"What happened?" Carlisle was there the second we were through the door, "Where did you go?"

"We just went for a walk." Emmett answered, letting me down onto the couch, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" His tone told me he was barely holding onto his temper. I looked up, watching as Carlisle followed him outside. Closing the front door behind him.

One by one, they were all getting an idea. Edward, the one other that had an idea about what went through my mind, wasn't coming back. Jasper could hardly look at me, and Emmett never followed Carlisle back inside.

"Where'd he go?" I asked quietly when I saw him alone, and Carlisle looked to me.

"He'll be home later." He told me, "Don't worry."

Too late.

"I don't know why I told him." I sniffled, shaking my head, "I don't know."

"No, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "It wasn't you. He went into town for an errand." I hardly believed him, but I wasn't going to insist.

I sat there on the couch, sniffling as I slowly calmed down. Carlisle stood there with me, watching me. I wanted to say something, but I was so worried about bothering him. Especially when he still seemed so distracted.

Each minute that passed, I got even more tense. What was Emmett doing? Why would he run off like that?

He was only gone half an hour, but it felt like hours. When he finally returned, I was so close to tears, I couldn't help but cry when I saw him close the door behind him. Carlisle looked on from where he stood talking with Esme.

I was so worried I'd run him off too.

He gave me an apologetic smile, crossing the room to sit beside me. From inside his coat, he pulled something out and handed it to me. I had to smile at what it was.

"I'm sorry. About leaving like that, but I had to take a walk." He said, "To clear my head, and when I saw this, I had to get it for you." I ran my fingers over the soft fur of the teddy bear in my hands. It was a violet purple color, and not especially large, but big enough to hug. I appreciated this gesture more than he knew.

"Thank you." I murmured, smiling a little. He smiled, nodding. He was quiet for a moment, until he spoke again.

"You're very smart." He said, and I looked up again, "Did you know that?"

"No I'm not." I laughed a little.

"Do you really think most ten year olds could make up a story like that on the spot?" He asked, "Not many, that I know of."

"It's different when it's not made up." I told him, shrugging a little, "It's not that hard when I already know how it goes. I thought I'd chased you away too."

"Too?" He asked, frowning.

"Well, there's Edward." I reasoned, "He's not coming. Then there's Jasper. He hasn't said anything to me since that night, and hasn't looked at me." He studied me for a minute.

"Jasper." He called, and I looked up at him.

"Don't worry about it." I murmured, shaking my head, "It's fine."

"Jasperrr." He called again, this time in a funnier tone, "Don't make me have to go up there. I don't wanna see that." I frowned, confused for a moment. I yelped quietly as Jasper was suddenly there.

"I hope this is important." Jasper told him, straightening his shirt.

"Is she right?" Emmett asked, "Have you been avoiding her?" Jasper looked down, sighing as his gaze found the floor, "Why?"

"I think we both could do without a repeat of the other night." Jasper finally answered matter-of-factly, "I think it's best if I keep my distance. It was reckless of me to get so comfortable."

"Until she starts feeling like this." Emmett told him incredulously, "You nuts?"

"Emmett, it's fine." I mumbled, and again, he ignored me.

"Leandra, honey." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her, "Come here, please."

Gratefully, I stood up. Sighing as I followed both her into the kitchen, Carlisle following me. From in the kitchen, I could still see into the living room, so it wasn't any more private, but I could tell she just wanted to move me away from them. Either so Emmett and Jasper could talk, or she could talk to me without many distractions. I wasn't sure which.

I found a seat at the round kitchen table, sitting down and looking up at her. I waited, watching her glance to Carlisle. This wasn't an easy subject, I could tell immediately. It made me nervous, and I tensed where I sat. Sitting straighter in my seat.

"I wanted to ask you something." She began, "Honey, how set against attending school are you?"

"Very." I replied immediately.

"Are you at least willing to try?"

"I have tried." I shook my head, standing back up. Nervousness making me do so, "I can't do it."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." She sighed, and I frowned, "Honey, as a requirement for them allowing a transfer, you-"

"Transfer?" I asked, confused.

"Carlisle called in a favor." She explained, "Normally, since you're only a foster, they wouldn't have allowed you to come with us. Not that easily, anyway." She paused, "But because it was Carlisle, they hesitantly agreed to transfer your case here. It's a bit more complicated than that, and a whole lot of paperwork, but they agreed to do it. Under a few conditions. The one we're talking about now, is that you must attend school." My frown deepened, "You begin on Monday."

I shook my head, instantly denying it. Monday? It was already Friday evening! That meant I only had two days.

"Without you?" I asked nervously, "Esme, you know that I can't do that."

"You've attended school before, sweetheart." She assured me, "You can-"

"That was before." I reasoned almost desperately, "I've tried being around people, and I don't like what I do."

"We've done all we can to get them to change their mind, sweety, but it's-"

"Try again." I whimpered, shaking my head. I was scared, and for very good reason. I didn't know these kids. Anything could happen, and I'd be screwed. How could they do this to me?

"It's a wonderful school, honey." She told me, trying to comfort me, "And it's only temporary." I gave a sob of dread, turning and pacing, "I know how much this worries you, but I know you can do this. You'll do fine."

"No I won't." I sobbed, "I can't do it."

It was useless to argue, and I could see that throwing a fit wouldn't get me out of it. I couldn't help it, though. I'd never really thrown a fit before, so this was somewhat new territory for me. I tried to hide it, but I just couldn't pretend to go along with this.

Being away from my family for any length of time in a place where I could potentially cause another person harm seemed so impossible, a sense of despair settled into my stomach, and I sat back down. Lightly thumping my head against the table. Not very hard, though, and it hardly made a noise.

After enough arguing, though, I got mad. The only way I could describe my outbursts now was mean. Both Emmett and Jasper looked on from the wide kitchen doorway, surprised at my raised voice.

I was angry.

Accusing Carlisle and Esme of only wanting to get rid of me, and they were just getting rid of me slowly. Esme attempted to ease my temper, by reassuring me, but I only told them that they just didn't want me around, and I should just run away.

Carlisle put a stop to that right in its tracks.

"Leandra." He said firmly, "That's enough of that." I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't now. Sitting back down with a sob, I kept my eyes down as I watched the table, "I know how hard this is on you, believe me, but that is no excuse to take that tone."

Instead of arguing further, I stood up forcefully and left the room. Ignoring his attempts to call me back into the room. Yanking my arm from Emmett's hand as he tried to stop me.

Carlisle hadn't had to correct me like that before, so maybe that was what added to my upset state. I cried myself to sleep that night, not at all as comfortable as I was the night before.

I wasn't feeling any better when I woke up the next morning.

It was stupid to protest this way, but I didn't know how else to really let them know how unhappy I was. Esme came upstairs to tell me breakfast was ready, poking her head in.

"I'm not hungry." I mumbled, looking away. Which was a lie. I understood that they had no choice but to make me go, but I didn't agree with it. I wouldn't go easily, because I knew what would happen the second someone pissed me off. I knew I wouldn't do well at all there, and they'd see that.

"Come on out, honey." She urged, "I know how upset you are, but you should eat something."

"Come on, shorty." She wasn't alone in the hallway, "You're tougher than this."

"Bite me, Emmett." I muttered and he snorted.

"Leandra, you can't stay in here all day." Jasper's voice out in the hall as well surprised me.

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" I snapped, immediately kicking myself for not biting that one back. Instead of apologizing, I looked toward the windows across the room. Esme sighed quietly. I rested my chin on my drawn-up knees. I was quickly beginning to figure out that I hated fighting with them.

I just wanted to hide.

I could hear whispered arguing out in the hallway, but I couldn't hear what was said. Until the door came open, and Emmett strode into the room. He lifted me up from my bed, and slung me over his shoulder. Which I really didn't want right then. So I bit him. The back of his shirt in my teeth, I hadn't managed to bite his shoulder.

He just sighed and continued on.

"Is she biting you?" Alice asked, surprised as he passed her in the hallway.

"She's a little moody this morning." He answered simply, and I glared at Emmett's back as he continued on.

"Didn't we talk about this, Leandra?" She asked. I knew the group had followed us, but I didn't want to look at them.

He made it to the kitchen and stood there for a minute, "I'm putting you down now. You might want to let go or you're going to hurt yourself." True to his word, he flipped me back upright right as I unclenched my teeth. Sitting me in the seat I'd abandoned at the table the night before.

"Talk to me, shorty." I glanced to the group standing in the doorway, "What's bugging you?"

"I'm not going." I said firmly, "You'll have to carry me there, but I'm not staying."

"Shorty-"

"No." I stood back up, "I won't. You're the ones always telling me that you'd never make me do anything I don't want to do."

"Within reason." He reminded me, poking my nose, "It's not Carlisle's fault. It's not Esme's fault. It's not even the state's fault. It's a reasonable request, shorty. Now, my suggestion? Grit your teeth, and deal with it, because acting like this isn't going to change anything."

I stood there for a second, my anger fading slightly, until it flared again.

"I can't do it." I finally said, looking back up at him.

"Why not?" He asked, and I sighed.

"I don't know." I replied sharply, "I didn't ask to be this fucked up. I just am."

"You're not fucked up." Emmett corrected me, "You just-"

"Stop lying to me!" I surprised myself by hitting him. Not hard enough to hurt myself, but a slap against his arm, "Stop it!"

"Breathe, shorty." He told me, "Give it a minute."

"Fuck you." I pushed passed him.

"You can fight it all you want, but it's not going to change by hiding from it." He told me as I walked away.

"I'm not going!" I shouted, spinning to look at him, "I'm tired of having to prove what kind of person I am over and over and over! For someone as smart as you guys are, you sure don't get it!" He didn't bother replying to that. Giving me a pointed look, telling me silently to knock it off.

"Sometimes you have to deal with new people, but it's for your own good." He told me, "You can't live the rest of your life hiding from humanity."

"Watch me." I replied firmly, continuing on. I stepped passed him the other direction now. Stepping outside through the back door. Closing the door behind me.

I stood outside in the bright sunlight. In my thin pajamas, it warmed my skin in a way I wasn't used to. I slowly stepped off the back porch, onto the grass. Back here, the view was prettier. The backyard overlooked a large park quite a ways away.

There was a steep, grassy hill between our backyard, and that park, but I liked the look of it. The same wall that surrounded the front yard was up back here, and it interested me to know I was just tall enough to lean on the wall and watch the park.

Taking a deep breath, I began to let myself calm down. Enough to think, anyway. I wouldn't go along with this easily, and I knew they knew that. It was going to be a disaster.

What was really bothering me about this?

It was more than just not wanting to go to school. Kids always hated school. That was just how it went. It was even more than being worried about what I'd do. It was everything.

Back home, I had the option of staying home all the time. I never had to leave. Back home, I had times when I would have time with just Carlisle, or whoever else I wanted. Carlisle had been taking lots of time off to work with me, and I got used to that. Back home, I didn't have to worry about facing other people, and I was used to that. The entire summer had come and gone, and fall had started. I had time to get used to that, but just about overnight, everything had changed.

Edward was gone, but that wasn't such a big change.

Carlisle worked all day now, and I hadn't had a chance to get used to that yet. Jasper was distancing himself from me, and though I understood that, it bugged me. Because he was the one to insist I talk to Carlisle in the first place.

Now, Emmett was pushy, which he never used to be.

This was a brand new place, and as much as I needed my family, that support wasn't there anymore. It felt too much like I was starting all over.

They were still there, but starting on Monday, I'd be gone for several hours during the day. I wouldn't have the constant safety I had before, and that wasn't an option for me. I wouldn't have the option to run to any given family member, and I'd be stuck around other kids.

That was a whole separate issue, but equally as distressing.

Esme was right. I had gone to school, but that was before I changed so much. If I couldn't handle being at a park, even with Carlisle there, what would happen in a crowded classroom? Without anybody?

Just the thought of that tried to close my throat, and I coughed a sob. I didn't want to face that.

Carlisle had told me that what I did wasn't my fault, but I felt that it was. I couldn't change it, but I couldn't be that way either. It was a very scary thing for me, being cornered. Stuck between the way I should be, and the way I was. Stuck between the way I couldn't be the way I was, and unable to change. Just the thought of it was enough to nearly smash me under the pressure.

But that was nothing new. I'd accepted that.

Now, there was yet an even larger problem. What bothered me the most, was that I would have to leave the house, and the safety of my family, for several hours each day.

Without even realizing it, I'd let myself depend on them completely. Without even realizing it, by spending every waking moment with them, I let myself get used to not having to worry. Without even realizing it, it had become unacceptable to ever leave their side.

Sighing, I pushed myself up, and climbed onto the wall. Sitting down on the warm stone, a slow breeze pulled my hair from my face as I continued to think about my predicament.

I'd be out there, with other people, unprotected. Something I hadn't been since I last saw Jack. Until now, I'd been protected. Sheltered. Shielded. Now, they were telling me I had to step out from behind my protected shelter, and somehow still function? I couldn't do it.

Yet, what was I doing?

Snapping, yelling. Hitting. Shouting, cursing, and biting? Pushing them away? I didn't want that. I had closed my eyes. I was turning away, resisting their efforts now. How completely just moving to a new place could turn me around. Four days ago, I'd been fine. I'd been doing so well, and now, because absolutely everything had changed, I'd changed along with it.

They had to have expected this to happen. They had to have seen this coming. I'd always been told that healing from what I'd been through wasn't going to be easy, and nobody ever promised it would be, but I guess I was just surprised I was taking steps back again.

Maybe I should just give up. Stop trying. Stop lying to myself, and just let myself be swallowed by the person I didn't want to become. It was useless.

Glancing behind me, nobody was watching me that I could see, so I hopped down. On the other side of the short wall now, and started down the grassy hill, toward the park.

It was steeper than it looked, as I had to keep stopping myself. The last thing I needed was to go rolling, and hit the short fence posts that bordered the park. I found it easier to brace myself without my shoes, though. My toes gripping the ground for me.

It took me several minutes to get to the park from the backyard, and when I got there, I had to rest. In my pajamas, and bare feet, I sat on one of the five swings in the play area. The chains hardly made a sound as I pushed myself lightly, looking around myself at the deserted park. It being deserted was the only reason I considered coming here at all.

I didn't really get much enjoyment from swinging like other kids did. It was just something to do. I half wondered what made them like this sort of thing, but I just sighed and shrugged it off. I'd never understand them.

The entire time I sat there, I battled with myself. Fighting off panic, waiting for the moment Jack would find me here. I was paranoid, I'd be the first to admit it, but I had every reason to be worried.

Alice couldn't clearly see his decisions, and that was a problem. He could be standing right behind me before she'd know anything about it. She sometimes lied, saying she did see a little bit of something, but I knew it was a lie. Not with my mother stuck with him.

I wondered what she was going through right that minute. I hadn't seen her in five months now, and the fact that Alice couldn't see Jack's decisions told me she survived. I wondered if she was back to drinking yet, and they just continued on with their lives without me.

It would be more difficult for them, what with Jack avoiding being arrested, but he was smart. Careful. He knew what he was doing when it came to that sort of thing, so I knew he wasn't worried.

I wondered what their lives were like now, and I wondered if they ever thought about me.

Probably. Jack at least.

I was Jack's biggest project. The one thing he devoted his life to, and the fact that I was brave enough to get away from him had to eat at him. He'd be determined, I thought. He'd be determined to get me back, and continue what he started.

I wondered what Ken was doing now. I wondered if he's shown back up for his grandsons yet. Probably. He wasn't done corrupting them. I saw that easily. Heather had to too. She wasn't stupid, so it confused me a little why she'd allow them to be around him. Even if it did make them happy.

How easy it would be to find me while I was at school. Away from my family, and away from the protection they offered. Especially for the two of them. They could do whatever they wanted between the time I arrived at school, and when I was supposed to be home. They could take me and be long gone with me before they even noticed.

Maybe that's why I fought this so hard. Because I wasn't stupid, and I refused to underestimate those two. Jack, especially. I couldn't. I knew him too well. My family was putting too much faith in some stupid school to keep me safe.

Taking a breath, I decided to think about other things.

This really was a nice park, though.

Plenty of mature trees with leaves just beginning to change colors. The trees began to remind me of home. They weren't the same, but it was something. The closest thing I had of back home. Cool, cement trails wound around the entire area, benches every so often along it. Cool grass, and sand under my feet. Clean, with no trash laying around.

However, on the other side of this park, was more to the city. I hadn't even noticed that the entire city seemed to bend around. Where it was further away one direction, it was much closer another direction. This direction to be exact. The city was a lot closer than I thought it was. This park sitting between the hill my family's house was on and the middle of the city.

Across the park, I could make out the traffic, and smaller businesses. Small stores, and restaurants. From what I could tell, anyway. I knew there was more further away, but even just that sight was enough to make me nervous.

Don't go poking around, I told myself. I'd follow my own advice. Even if I was curious, I was cautious. More so, and I knew better than to go sniffing for trouble. Even where I sat now was too close to people for my comfort, so it didn't take me long to decide to go back.

So I walked back up the hill, which was a chore but I managed, and climbed back over the wall. It may have looked close from where I stood now, but it really wasn't that close. The sun must have been playing tricks on my eyes.

I couldn't do it.

I sat back down, this time with my back against the wall. Hiding from the sight of the park behind me, and hiding back in the yard. Drawing my legs up just a little, just enough to rest my arms on my knees.

Sniffling quietly, I hid my face as my slow tears started.

I didn't look up at Jasper's voice from the porch, "Leandra, come inside."

He waited, I knew he waited. I stayed like that for a few more seconds, until I forced myself to uncurl long enough to stand and cross the yard.

I stepped up the steps, passed him on my way inside. Forcefully wiping my eyes, but my tears just renewed. Desperately trying to stay tough, to keep up my act of defiance. Crying ruined that, but I couldn't help it.

I found Esme waiting as well, and I just had to. Crossing the kitchen, I hugged her. To my relief, my efforts before did nothing to push her away, because she returned my hug tightly. I needed some sort of comfort, and I knew she was the best person to go to to get it.

"I know, honey." She told me, and that was all she had to say.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to change our minds, Leandra." Jasper informed me, "Especially when I'm right here, and I can feel what you actually feel. Not what you think you feel." I sniffled, turning to look at him, "Earlier? You weren't angry, Leandra. You were scared. It just took you some time to understand that."

"I know you don't want to start school, honey." Esme told me as I stepped back, "Believe me, I understand, but I promise. You'll be just fine there." I only cried harder, shaking my head, "Yes, you will."

I might have been stubborn, but they were more so. I didn't have a choice.

My first day at this school was one of the worst of my life. I hated it, so much, just sitting there. Trying to force myself out of the car.

Carlisle had to go in and speak to the principal, so I sort of had no choice but to go in with him. Otherwise I would have had to be pried from the car. I'd save that for tomorrow, I decided. As it was, he had to lift me himself. I wasn't going willingly, which I needed him to know, but I wouldn't fight.

He carried me easily inside the rather large building, and up the hall a ways until we reached the office. Me glaring down at my feet the entire way. I hated it. I hated that I had to be doing this.

We were greeted by two women, who seemed nice enough, but I hated them too. I paid no attention to what they talked about. I didn't care. I stayed bitter through the ten minute discussion, letting them talk about my imprisonment.

I did manage to gather that the woman on the right was the principal of the school, and the other was the school's guidance counselor. Both seemed enthusiastic to meet me, but I still hated both of them.

I nearly cried, but managed to hold it back, as Carlisle finally let me down on my feet. That meant he was leaving me.

By the time he did leave, however, I was still just as against it as I had been when we got there. I couldn't stand the thought of him leaving me there. Just walking away, which was what he did. He stayed by my side as we stepped from the office, and into the hall. Giving me a brief hug and a few words of encouragement, he turned. Walking away.

I couldn't follow him, though, which scared me. I struggled to keep myself under control as the counselor took my hand, and steered me up the hall. The opposite direction I wanted to go. Her hand holding mine kept me from following him.

Don't bite her, I told myself. Don't bite her. Be good.

I hated it, but she adjusted her hold on my hand. Holding it just a little tighter, and that scared me. I yanked my hand away, giving her a look. Startled, she looked back down at me, laughing a little.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." She said, "But here we are." She'd better thank her lucky stars. She seemed nice enough, but I wanted nothing to do with her. She pulled open the heavy wooden door, guiding me into the classroom by the shoulder now.

I kept my eyes down, hating how I could feel every pair of eyes on me. The teacher stood up, probably anticipating our arrival. He shook hands with the counselor at my side as she told him who I was.

"It's very nice to meet you, Leandra." The teacher spoke to me, and I looked to him as he squatted down, "You can call me Mr. Kline, and I'll be the one you're stuck with every day." He was trying to be funny, but I looked back down. His smile softened, and he stood back up, "She'll be alright here. Thank you for bringing her, Julia." The counselor behind me, gave my shoulder a pat, and I flinched away as she turned. Leaving the room.

I always remembered how it went with new students in any class. The teacher always made them tell the class where they were from and what their name was. I wouldn't do that, I decided, but he didn't make me do that. He did that himself. Standing with me, so I wasn't alone as he told the curious students my name.

He led me to his desk, and gathered some papers in a folder, and two papery booklets.

"This is all the stuff you'll need while you're here, and since the year just started, you're not too far behind." Mr. Kline assured me with a smile, offering the things to me. Hesitantly, I reached up and took them from him, "Your desk is right over here."

He led me up the second row of desks from the door to the third desk from the end. The only empty one anywhere around me. I sighed and sat down, stacking the booklets and stuff neatly in front of me, and he reached up, spreading my neat little pile a little, just enough to point to one of the booklets. That bugged me, but he had a reason to do so.

"This is just your copy of the regulations and rules. You know, dress code and what not to do." He tapped it lightly with his finger, "We don't use uniforms here, but that doesn't mean you can just wear anything. You should go over this one with your parents, just so you're up to date on the rules here, too. It's probably exactly the same as your old school. Don't fight, don't set things on fire. Blah, blah." Okay, I had to smile a little. I nodded, my smile fading almost immediately.

"In here," He tapped the light purple folder, "Is where all your writing assignments go and all the graded tests and whatnot I give back to you go. It's good to hold onto those. There's a few papers in there now, but that's just the rules of my classroom, and the map of the entire school. Boring.

"We're one of the only classes this grade level that don't switch between teachers, and all the kids here are more comfortable with one teacher." I nodded, "So just ignore that bell you hear every two and a half hours. Unless it's for lunch, or recess in.." He looked back to the clock, "Thirty minutes. Then it's every kid for him or herself."

"I do have one rule that nobody new here is allowed to break." I looked to him, "That's you have to make at least one friend. That's all I ask." I sighed, looking down, "It doesn't have to be today, but nobody is allowed to stay lonely here."

I stayed quiet, choosing to ignore that. Opening the folder in front of me, I slowly pulled out the map of the school. Looking it over, all the major places were marked. The playground and field where recess and P.E. would be was out of this classroom, and further up the hall. Out of the back doors, and straight ahead.

The cafeteria, though, would take a few more minutes to get to. That one had a separate playground outside of it, and that's where we'd go after we ate. It was much bigger of a school than I was used to.

"You chose a great time to arrive, Leandra." He smiled, bringing my attention back to him, "We're reading."

Yay.

He lightly tapped the thicker booklet, with the colorful cover.

"This is just basic reading." He told me, opening it for me and turning to the right page, "You just read the short story here, and fill out these questions here at the end." I nodded, letting him know I would do that, "If you don't finish reading, don't worry. You can do that for homework, okay?" I nodded again, already looking over the two and a half pages of reading I had to do.

"Well, I think that's it." He said, "If you have any questions at all, or if you're not sure about something, feel free to ask me, or one of the other students. We're all pretty nice here. At least, I'd like to think so. It's great to meet you, Leandra, and I think you'll like it here."

I didn't reply, keeping my eyes down. He smiled a little, turning and walking back up to the front. I took a deep shaky breath, letting it out in a sigh. Looking to the clock.

Six hours, and counting.

I was done reading and answered the questions in ten minutes, so I didn't have to do that at home. I'd be busy when I got home. Freaking out about tomorrow.

I could still feel many, many curious eyes on me, and I dreaded the rest of the day.

**A/N: Admit it, we all missed miss stubborness here. :D  
I apologize if this seems a little rushed or whatnot, as there was a _lot_ that needed to be in here.  
And I apologize this took awhile. I just couldn't focus until recently lol I admit, I was distracted. Youtube stole me.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! I _have_ to put that for every chapter, because I'm _always_ thrilled at getting that notification. :D  
Hope you enjoyed this. Chapter five will be along as soon as I can focus more on it lol  
I'd give it a few days unless my beta kicks me in the butt again lol  
Until then, my friends. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Mild/Moderate violence. That is all.**

**Chapter Five**

Mr. Kline noticed I had my book closed, and when I didn't move to reopen it, he came back over.

"You're supposed to be reading." He laughed a little, and I opened my book again. Turning to the page of answered questions. He leaned down, frowning a little as he looked it over. Slowly lifting it to himself. He looked to me, "Well, that's never happened before. Okay, then. Uhm.." He set the book back down in front of me, "I guess you're fine. Just sit quietly."

I think he added that last part in as a way to lighten his surprise. I hadn't said a word since I got here. I nodded anyway, sighing. He walked away again, and I leaned forward, folding my arms on the top of the desk and resting my chin on them.

I wanted to go home.

"Hey." I ignored the whisper of the girl behind me, "Hey, kid. New kid." I ignored it even more, "Pssst. Hey. Kid. No, not you." She must have gotten someone else's attention, "What's the answer to number five?" I rolled my eyes, "Come on. I forgot your name."

After several more seconds, I felt the unmistakable sensation of being lightly poked in the back with a pencil eraser.

I spun, yanking the pencil from the girl's hand, "For future reference, my name's Leandra." My voice was a heated whisper, "And do your own damn work. If you touch me again, I'll shove this pencil into your fucking eye." I threw her pencil back at her, which she caught awkwardly.

She immediately looked down with a quiet gasp. As did the other students around us. Except for another girl sitting beside me. She snorted, giggling hysterically under her breath. I turned back around, leaning back down into the same position I had been.

Glancing to the still laughing girl, she glanced over as well. Her jet black, raven colored hair was nearly as long as mine as it fell into her light, steel gray eyes. She seemed genuinely entertained by what I'd said, instead of scared like everybody else.

I looked forward again, shaking my head a little.

Slowly, out of the corner of my eye, I watched her lean over. Softly poking my arm with her pencil eraser. I flinched, reaching over and swiping at her pencil. She just giggled again as she flinched away. Managing to keep her pencil. I tried giving her a soul-withering glare, but she didn't seem phased.

"Scary." She giggled in a whisper, "I wanted to see if you'd do it." However, this time the sudden movement had taken Mr. Kline's attention.

"Settle down, you two." He called to us, "Recess isn't for another ten minutes." I sighed heavily, biting my tongue as I leaned forward again. This time, leaning to the side as well, away from the annoying, gray-eyed girl.

She left me alone, though. Now and then glancing to me, but she didn't try anything again. I couldn't help glancing at her, though. I'd never seen eyes the color she had before. They were pretty in a really creepy sort of way. Then again, I was sure she thought mine were creepy too.

My eyes were a clear green, but darker than most people's green. About three or four shades lighter than emerald with a little grayish tint. I had gotten my eye color from my dad, but his were a little lighter. From what I remembered anyway.

My mom's eyes were boring brown.

This girl just seemed weird to me. Maybe weird wasn't the word, but more like interesting. I'd never admit that, though. I just rested my chin on my arms, looking forward again at the clock on the wall.

I knew when that ten minutes was nearly up, because the class was already getting ready to go. Instead of the silence through the room before, the kids around me were talking, and getting edgy. I wondered strongly if Mr. Kline would let me stay here.

The class jumped up as soon as the bell sounded, and were out the door before I even lifted my head. In the doorway, the gray-eyed girl accidentally tripped a boy on her way out. Both of them laughed, though, as she helped him up.

I didn't want to be a part of that mob of animals.

"Leandra, it's time to go outside." Mr. Kline told me, and I closed my eyes. Instead of protesting, and actually talking to him, I just stood up and followed him from the room. Apparently, he had to be outside too.

I followed him from the building, out to the edge of the playground. Where he stood with the other teachers was too close for my taste, so I sat down on the grass much further back, watching what looked like several other classes run around and play.

I wanted to go home.

Looking around, across the field, I could see that this school was fenced in. Exactly like a prison. I could probably climb that fence if I had to. Across the playground from where I sat, though, I spotted the gray-eyed girl. Sitting off to the side, just like I did, but with her, was a boy. He had the same wavy black hair she had, only cut a lot shorter, so I assumed that was her brother.

She smiled at me, noticing me looking. I looked down immediately, sighing. I rested my arms on my folded knees, idly ripping at the grass with my fingers. Glancing back up just to see both of them looking at me now. Her brother beside her gave me the same look I gave them, which threw me off for a second. He seemed meaner than she did.

Thankfully, neither of them bothered me. I made it through the entire half-hour of recess without having to talk to anyone. I wondered how long my luck would hold out as I sat back down at my desk inside.

It was two hours of listening to Mr. Kline talk about stupid math, then it was lunch time. Unfortunately, I was hungry, so I had to somehow force myself through the stampede. I waited until the line and group at the front of the cafeteria had thinned, until bothering to move forward.

I sat with my tray at the emptiest table I could find, keeping my eyes to the table.

I jumped at the seat beside me being occupied suddenly. Looking over at the gray-eyed girl.

"Stab anybody yet?" She asked cheerfully. I just looked at her, shook my head a little and stood up. Walking away from her, and my tray of food. She laughed, "Come back. I'm leaving, I'm leaving." I stopped, looking back and watching as she stood up, "See you later."

I waited, giving her a pointed look as she hesitated. She just laughed again, shook her head and left. I sighed, returning to the table. For the oddest reasons, I felt bad for being mean to her. Though she hardly minded.

She didn't bother me the rest of the day. Though she sat beside me in class, now and then glancing at me, she didn't say a word. I never spoke either. Not since threatening the girl sitting behind me.

The closer it got to the end of the school day, the edgier I got.

Once the bell finally did ring, I grabbed all my papers and stuff, jumping up eagerly.

"Leandra." Mr. Kline called my attention before I could leave, "Hang back a minute." I sighed heavily, spinning. Right when I thought I was free, he suddenly remembered something he needed to tell me. Fucker.

I stepped over to his desk, waiting impatiently for him to say something

"I want to give you a homework assignment."

I found that unfair. He hadn't assigned anyone else homework. I gave him a look, and he laughed.

"It's not hard." He assured me, standing up, "I do this for all of the new students that come into my class. I want you to write me an essay, and I want it to be about your life. What your life was like before you came here. It can be as long as you want it to be. Three words, or three pages. It's up to you. Nobody else is going to see it but me, so don't worry about that." He paused, "I just like to get to know my students." He smiled a little.

I sighed, but nodded.

"Okay." He smiled, "Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow, Leandra." With that, I turned. Jogging from the room with more energy than I'd shown the entire day. My shoes squeaked on the floor each time I had to stop behind students walking slower than me.

Just my luck, a group of girls stopped right in the doorway to talk to another group of girls.

Move! I don't think I'd ever shouted so loud inside my head as I did in that moment. Steeling myself, and barreling through the group. Knocking at least three of them over.

I continued on, ignoring their squeals of surprise and probably pain from hitting the concrete steps.

To my surprise, it was Carlisle there to pick me up. I spotted his car parked in the shade across the street from the front of the school, and he stood outside of it. Underneath some trees, he didn't need to worry about the sunlight hitting him, as the deep shade stretched far beyond his car and the street. It was still risky, though, so I ran across the street as fast as I could. Not even looking to make sure I wouldn't get run over.

Though the day hadn't been as bad as I thought it'd be, I was still in tears as I hugged him once he kneeled down.

"I'm proud of you." He told me immediately, "Good job, Leandra."

He probably took the fact that he hadn't needed to be called during the day as a sign that it went well. He wasn't wrong, but I was still exhausted from being cornered all day long by people I didn't know. I hated it.

I knew the other kids could see me, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop sobbing.

He stepped around the car to the passenger side, and let me down on my feet. Opening the door for me. I climbed in easily, throwing my bag into the backseat with fury.

Left over defensive anger.

He closed the door behind me as I sat right in the seat, continuing to cry, too stressed to do much of anything else. I still found myself reluctant to speak, though. Having gone the entire day without saying much of anything, it was hard to break that habit now. Even when we got home.

"Good job, sweetheart." Esme told me as I hugged her in the doorway, "How did it go?" To me, it was horrible. I hated it so much.

"Don't make me go back." I plead through my tears, "Please."

"Oh, honey." She replied, sighing, "But you did so well."

"No." I corrected, "I didn't do well at all. Just because I didn't kill anyone doesn't mean I did anything good. I just want to stay here."

"I know." She said, "But it's a slow process. You'll learn that you have nothing to worry about. You just have to give it time. You'll get used to it again."

I whined, but didn't bother arguing again. Not yet.

"So tell me about it." She prompted as we went inside, "What happened to make it so bad?" Emmett stood up and leaned against the arm of the couch, interested, and even Rosalie was listening. Alice had descended the stairs, standing on the bottom step, Jasper behind her. I sniffled, looking to them.

"Really, honey." Esme smiled, "What was so bad?"

I bit my lip a little, "I finished my work early?" I guessed, "So some stupid kid tried to get me to tell her the answers."

"That's horrible." Emmett gasped sarcastically.

"So I told her to do her own work, and threatened to stab her in the eye with her pencil." I continued, causing a simultanious face-palm from both Alice and Emmett. Complete with quiet slapping sound, "She left me alone after that, but the girl sitting next to me didn't. She just kept bugging me."

"Was she mean to you?" Alice asked, frowning.

"No." I said, "It was like she wasn't scared of me. She thought it was funny."

"Well, that's not so bad." Emmett said, "You didn't hit her, did you?"

"No." I said again, "But I would have if she kept bugging me."

"Was anybody mean to you?" Alice asked, probably remembering the problems I had with Rachel.

"No." I mumbled, sitting down on the far end of the couch, "I think they're all scared of me."

"That'll change." Alice assured me, smiling a little, "I think you'll do fine."

"I don't like it." I murmured, resting my chin in my palm.

"Maybe something went wrong during this time in the vision?" Jasper suggested, and I looked to him.

"I was left behind in the vision." I replied, "Before. You left me like you left Bella."

"Do you remember why yet, honey?" Esme asked, probably recalling that I was unsure before, and I sighed.

"Because my mom got me back." I said, "Last time, she never left. She didn't have a chance to. Last time, she had to get help, and last time, she'd just gotten custody back by the time you had to leave. I was stuck. Now, she's not around, so I got to go with you."

"I thought you weren't supposed to look?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"I don't look." I answered, explaining, "I do my best to just leave it alone, but sometimes, it just comes through anyway. Like I suddenly just know it. I think sleeping helps that, but it hurts just as much."

"That sounds exhausting." Jasper pointed out, frowning.

"It is." I mumbled, "It's sort of like.." I paused, frowning as well as Emmett sat back down beside me, "Like having two minds. One has everything to do with before, trying all the time to remember. Or to figure out exactly what it is I'm always remembering, and the other deals with everything now. I can't stop it."

"That certain explains why you seem to get overwhelmed easily." Jasper muttered, and I looked down. They had to know where this was going. My mood dropped.

"Making me go to school isn't helping." I murmured, "Why can't I stay here?"

I was back to the blame. Blaming and begging.

I wouldn't let this drop. I'd keep fighting them on it. Just because today went alright didn't mean I was safe. It didn't mean the other kids were safe either. I knew after enough time there, I'd snap. It's what always happened. Emmett sighed heavily, trying to hug me into his side. I ducked away from it.

"Shorty-"

"I don't know why I have to be punished for no reason." I blurted without even thinking, "What did I ever do to you?"

"This isn't a punishment, Leandra." Carlisle answered, "We're not fighting this, because I know it'll be good for you in the long run. I know it."

"It's not." I argued, shaking my head, "It's not good for me. It's bad. It's really _bad_."

"Leandra, please don't start this again right now." Esme was only asking, pleading, but I wasn't going to give up quietly. We'd go round and round until I made them understand.

"It's not good for me." I repeated, upset once more as I looked to Carlisle, "Can't you just beat me and get it over with?" I ignored their surprise, "I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, I'm sorry."

"You've got it all wrong, shorty." Emmett seemed to be the only one able to speak, "I don't know-"

I stomped my foot, "Emmett-"

"You're comparing the two?" Rosalie spoke up, shutting me up immediately, "You're honestly going to tell me that having you attend school is comparable to being beaten?" Her tone made me rethink my own tone, and made me feel insecure at the same time.

"To me." I mumbled, watching as she stood up, "I just want to stay here. I don't like-"

"We all have to do things we don't like to do." She snapped, "Get used to it, because that's going to happen your entire life." I looked down. She wasn't getting it.

"Now, Carlisle is making you go to school, for two reasons. One, they don't have a choice. No matter how big of a fit you throw, that's not going to change." She paused, and I stayed quiet.

"Two," She continued, "It's to teach you that the world is bigger than just us, or the few people that want to hurt you. Your mind is way too closed right now, and he's only trying to open it." I'd heard enough. I'd try again later.

I sighed and turned, walking away.

"Oh, no." She was suddenly in front of me, "You're not going anywhere until you apologize for acting like such a spoiled little brat."

"Sor-_ry_." I snapped up at her, and her eyes narrowed.

I didn't even recognize myself in that moment. I hadn't ever acted like _this_ before. This reminded me a little of what happened with Emmett in the hallway back home that one day. How I'd spun around to face him, but this was different. This was intentional. I wanted to speak to her like this, and I wanted to piss her off.

"Not to me." She corrected, deciding to let that go, "To Carlisle, and to Esme, because considering all they've done for you, I think they deserve to be treated better than the way you've treated them." I looked to Esme and Carlisle standing a few feet away. Across the room from us, "And you'd better mean it."

I took a breath, sighing it out. I did feel bad for talking to them the way I did, and I needed them to know it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking down briefly. Carlisle looked down, and Esme offered a sad smile.

"That's better." Rose snapped, and I looked back up at her, "You'll be going back to school."

"Babe." Emmett spoke up. Trying to calm her temper, probably. He should have tried to calm mine too, because the tone of her voice was one none of them had used against me before. I didn't appreciate it.

"You will go," She continued, and I pulled in a breath, "And you'll like it. Or-"

"Fuck you." I snapped up at her, "You can just go fuck yourself, Rosalie, and you'll _like_ that. Maybe you'll stop being such a bitch." Shoving passed her roughly, I ignored her outraged expression behind me, and climbed the stairs. I really didn't want to hear the rest of what she had to say.

Already forcefully reminded of one specific moment in my recent past that I could do without being reminded of. Despite how her words were different, the meaning behind them were the same. What she started to tell me really reminded me of what happened the morning after Jack and I had gotten to California.

Jack's words to me after admitting being afraid of Ken.

_"You get up, get dressed, and you will go. You'll go with him, and you'll smile like you're at fucking Disney Land, or so help me, I will beat you until you're _black_ and _blue_!" _

Too much.

I'd never admitted that part to anyone yet. It seemed so small at the time, but now, it was something huge, and nobody knew that. I could feel their eyes following me, but I didn't look back. Slamming my bedroom door behind me as hard and as roughly as I could. As much effort as I could muster went into that, and I hoped it made a statement. Leave me alone.

It did.

I was up all night thinking, having locked my door. I wasn't coming out for anything. Not to have Rose threaten me even more. Who the fuck was she to tell me that? Who the fuck was she to pretend she knew what was best, or to think she could boss me around like that? Fuck her.

She'd shoved me, and I could shove right back.

I fought it, I did, but I couldn't help hardening just a little bit. My emotions steeling themselves into something I didn't like. Like cement in the pit of my stomach, and I knew what that meant. It would take more than just words to soften it.

I was a pretty decent mixture of pissed off and determined. I also felt the familiar burning of bitter hate in that mix as well. I didn't hate Rosalie, or anyone else. This hate was just general. I hated the situation.

By the time dawn came, I was already dressed. Sitting downstairs, and waiting to be taken to school. I sat on the couch with my bag beside me, my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't speak to anyone, least of all Rose who attempted to apologize. Bitterly, but she attempted to nonetheless.

Jasper's attention was taken as he went to walk by. Pausing his steps, looking my way.

"Leandra?" Jasper tried, his tone cautious, "Can we talk?" I made no acknowledgement. I didn't even blink. Staring with a slight glare down at the rug. I knew he felt it, what I felt, and I knew it was heavy. I didn't care.

"Leandra?" He tried again, and this time I looked up. Meeting his eyes, and his expressioned darkened into concern and uncertainty. I watched it happen.

Before I left with Carlisle, Jasper had to speak with him. That was fine. Nobody knew what I was going to do. Without Edward here, and with Alice being pretty much unable to look ahead for me, I was safe. I could what I needed to do to ensure my place.

The moment I was let out of the car in front of the school, I'd already decided. If I had to go to school, if I was going to be forced to leave their side, there was one sure way I could make myself stay. I didn't want to be here, so I wouldn't be here.

I stalked across the street. Straight to where a group of boys stood talking.

Carlisle hadn't even had a chance to drive away before I was punching someone. This poor boy didn't even see it coming. I didn't pause, or wait. I got to his side, and slammed my fist into the side of his face, watching him drop to the pavement.

On the plus side, it seemed that Emmett didn't need to teach me how to throw a punch after all.

I strattled the boy, pinning him to the sidewalk, and punched him again. This time, blood sprayed from the front of his face. Down his nose, and from his lips. I hit him again. And again.

I used all my left over anger at Rosalie to fuel me.

By now, kids surrounded us. Both shouting in encouragement, and trying to pull me off the smaller boy. An arm circled my chest, and pulled me backwards. Breaking my hold on the boy's shirt and pulled me off my feet.

I bit the teacher holding me, getting almost thrown away from her. Pouncing on another kid too close, and sitting on his back as he fell to his stomach. I knotted my hand in his hair, and this time I hit his face on the sidewalk, instead of with my fist. Blood coated the pale gray cement beneath him, staining it.

Bringing his head back, I slammed it against the sidewalk again. Hearing a definite crunching sound as his nose probably broke.

Yet again, I was pulled up. Lifted off this boy, and I recognized Carlisle as the one holding me, so I knew better than to bite him. I gave one struggle, but that was it.

I didn't try to fight it anymore. I wasn't sorry. I didn't feel bad. I was pissed. I wanted what I wanted, and nobody was listening. Maybe now, they'd listen.

More teachers surrounded us, lifting an unconscious and bloody boy from the pavement, and helping the other to his feet, blood flowing freely down his face and chin. The kids around us were still shouting as I looked up at Carlisle. I was determined, and I knew he saw it, given the way his expression changed. Just like Jasper's had earlier.

Thankfully, the sun was still on the other side of the building, so he was able to come grab me before I could really kill anyone. I would have too. I knew it, and he knew it.

I got suspended for a week, and I had to be taken home. According to Carlisle, I was unbelievably lucky not to be arrested.

See how safe school is, I thought bitterly. It's so amazingly safe.

I was only getting started. If it took several times of doing that before they got the message, I would continue doing it. I'd kill someone if I had to. I wasn't giving up without a fight, pun intended, and Carlisle was probably starting to see that.

I left the car at home, heading for the door. I wasn't done. Not by a long shot. Despite my bruised and bloodied knuckles, I'd hit as many kids as it took.

The moment I got into the house, I headed for my room.

"Leandra." Carlisle's call behind me made me pause, and I turned. Standing there on the stairs, "What are you doing?"

"I was _going_ to my room." I replied sharply, "Isn't that where you were going to send me anyway?"

Stop it, I shouted to myself. Stop it!

I wasn't trying to push them away. That was the opposite of what I was trying to do, but I still had left over anger. Instead of easing, it was only growing, and I really didn't want to take it out on them.

"No." He said, "That isn't what I meant. What are you doing?" I stayed quiet, leaning against the railing, "What are you trying to say?" I looked down, shrugging a little, "Leandra, this move is difficult on all of us. None of us wanted to leave."

"It's not just about that." I mumbled, sniffling a little.

"Hey." Emmett's voice entering the room took my attention, "I thought I heard her voice. What happened?" I looked to Rosalie and Jasper behind him, both with confused expressions in their eyes.

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, ignoring their arrival, "I want to know. I'm trying so hard to understand. You've changed so much. This is more than school. This is more than being overwhelmed. I've seen you overwhelmed. What are you trying to tell me?"

"Just.." I sighed, turning, "Forget it."

"Leandra." He called, and again, I paused. Looking back down at where he stood in the living room, "Talk to me."

"Why?" I asked quietly, "What's the point? You won't listen anyway."

"I've worked too hard with you, and you've worked too hard with me to lose that bond now." He reminded me, "Do you remember?"

"No." I lied straight to him.

"Leandra?"

"Don't worry." I grumbled, "I'll be fine. Just fucking perfect. Not like it fucking _matters_!" My voice rang in the room, and as much as I hated it, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help lashing out at him, because my anger wouldn't ease.

Apparently, I needed a little bit of help easing it, and the one person who could help me took the hint.

I went to turn again, but paused on my own this time. Suddenly, the anger I hid behind was taken. Almost ripped away from me until it was gone completely. Covered, and I couldn't feel it anymore. All I felt was the pain.

The pain the fueled the anger, that kept it going. That certain deep ache in my heart that I covered comfortably with that anger.

Slowly, I turned. Looking back at Jasper as he now stood closest to me. Between where Carlisle stood, and where I stood on the stairs. A pointed look in his firm expression, he nodded once.

Watching as I had to sit, no longer able to stand.

"That matters." He told me firmly, "Do you feel that?" I sniffled hard, taking a sniffling deep breath and holding it, trying to fight the tears until I couldn't anymore, "Do you feel that pain? That's called heart break, Leandra. That's pain. That's your own. That's yours, and it's far passed time for a time out."

I let out a handful of sobs, sitting there on the stairs. I leaned my head to the side, resting it on the wall beside me, looking at him as he watched me just crumble from what I was before to what I was now.

From deeply angry, to coughing around sobs that stole my breath. The pain was intense, and I could tell by looking up at him that he felt all the anger he hid from me, and it hurt him. Feeling it was one thing. Covering it, trying to suppress it and put a stop to it was a whole different story.

"I'm tired of watching you do this, so it's about time I do something about it." He told me, his tone sharp, "You do that to yourself every time you let yourself hurt someone else, and you do that to someone else every time you decide to snap. To fight them when they're only trying to help you." I sniffled roughly, trying to stop crying. Fighting it, but I couldn't. It was too heavy.

His expression was steel now as he looked at me, "Pay attention to that, Leandra, because I'm not letting you hide behind this anger anymore. I've had it with this anger. I've had it with your careless words, and I've had it with your heartless actions. Maybe having no choice but to feel this pain will help you. I can only hope."

He turned and he walked away, leaving me to cry.

"I'm sorry." I cried after him, but he didn't stop. He continued on from the room, rounding the corner into the kitchen.

Carlisle sighed, slowly stepping forward.

"I know things have changed, and I'm sorry." He told me quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not about that." I sobbed, shaking my head.

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" He asked, "Please. Tell me so I can _fix_ it."

"You're not there!" I cried harder, "Nobody's there!"

"I'm here all the time, shorty." Emmett reminded me.

"Not here." I clarified, "_There_." Carlisle frowned as he slowly sat beside me.

"At school?" He asked, and I sniffled hard once more, nodding. Sobbing out my breath. He seemed to understand suddenly. His expression changed, "I see now." He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side.

"What?" Emmett asked, still confused.

"She's not trying to destroy the bond she's built." Carlisle explained, "She's fighting to keep it. She feels that if she's separated from us, from the family for any length of time, she'll lose it. She doesn't want to let it go."

He sighed, "Keeping her home all this time both helped her, and hurt her. We were hoping for a bond, but she's built an attachment. Forcing her to leave, even for something as simple as school, must cause her great pain. That's why she's acting out, and that's why she compares both scenarios."

I knew that was meant for Rose. I kept my eyes closed, though. Unable to really breathe with the pain I felt.

"Suddenly changing how we live day to day is causing the problem here, and she really does see it as a punishment." Carlisle continued, "We seem to have forgotten that she can't adapt, she can't adjust the way we can, and I think it's left her confused. She feels threatened. In danger of losing us. Everything changing so drastically, so quickly makes her insecure."

"It certainly explains a few things." Jasper admitted. It surprised me that he'd come back, much calmer now, "Leandra, I have to apologize."

"I'm afraid that it was my fault as well." Carlisle added, "Immediately starting work here at the hospital, instead of waiting. Giving her no time to adjust to being here." He sighed again, "Leandra, I'm sorry. I should have thought ahead."

Finally managing to open my sore and still crying eyes, I looked to the group now by the door. Jasper stood furthest back, and Rose beside him looked down. Esme finally understood also, given her expression.

"Harsh discipline won't work." Carlisle stressed to them, "As she's proven today, that'll only push her away. It'll only push her to do something reckless and rash. We're not doing that anymore." He shook his head a little, "I've been saying this from the start. So there won't be any more harsh scoldings, or forcing her emotions against her. Am I clear?"

Rose sighed heavily, "Are you kidding-"

"There is a difference between harsh, and firm." He clarified, "I'm not telling you not to correct her, but avoid words like the ones used last night. Taking her options won't help her."

"I doubt much of anything will help her." Rosalie grumbled before anyone could stop her.

"Rosalie." Esme corrected her sharply. I closed my eyes, listening to her storm from the room.

Carlisle sighed once more.

"I'll take the week off." He said, "I'm hoping that by doing so, she'll adjust a lot easier and eventually, she'll be able to return to school. I do worry, however, that because of this, it might have hurt her chances of recovering."

It was quiet for a moment, until Emmett spoke.

"What did we learn today?" He asked, "Don't provoke the animal, because it bites." He was trying to lighten the mood. He wasn't trying to be mean.

Oh, if he only knew how much that hurt.

I knew he'd intended it as a joke, and I distinctly heard the sound of someone slapping him as I pulled away from Carlisle's side. Standing and ascending the stairs as quickly as I could.

I didn't slam my door this time. I closed it firmly, but I didn't slam it. I crossed the room, not sure what to do. Opening the balcony doors, I felt the slow breeze, and I breathed in. I'd leave them open. Just for that reason. My skin felt too warm from emotion, and this helped.

Laying across my bed, and waiting for the pain to ease, all I could do was cry.

I refused to come out the entire day, and for the second night in a row, I stayed in my room all through the evening. Refusing to come out to eat.

I was faced now with something that scared me more than I'd been scared before. Turning on my family like I have been. It was one thing to turn on everyone else. I didn't like it when I did that, but turning on my family like I had been had seemed so impossible before. I never even considered it.

If it had just been a one time thing, it wouldn't have been so bad. If I had only done it once, or even twice, it wouldn't have been so scary to me. I'd been stressed, upset. I was still upset and stressed, but that was hardly an excuse.

I curled up on my side on the bed, staring out of the open doors. A slow, chilly breeze filtered into the room, clearing my head as much as it could be cleared.

I wasn't doing as well as I had been before.

I was having trouble seeing who was wrong anymore, and who was right. I knew my family was right, that how I behaved wasn't how I was supposed to be behaving, but I couldn't let myself accept that. Some stubborn part of me wanted to be right. That my behavior was justified, and that I had every right to act the way I did. That I had every right to blame them, and shout at them.

I wasn't doing well at all.

My quiet sobs lasted until the afternoon, when I finally fell asleep, but when I woke up about an hour later, I wasn't feeling any better. Not at all.

Esme came into the room just as evening started to fall, and she sat with me. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I appreciated it. She didn't say anything. She didn't tell me that it'd get better, or that it'd get easier to handle. She just sat with me. Now and then stroking the back of my head, comforting me.

I hated fighting with my family. I hated it. They did deserve much better. How was it possible to not even notice how alone I felt until it turned into this?

Even with talking to Emmett, I still felt alone. Like their lives had been put on hold because I came around, and now suddenly, they were living again. There were many emotions associated with discovering that.

I hated myself, for being so childish. I felt horrible, because I'd become the center of their attention. I felt abandoned, in a way, because I wasn't anymore.

It was hard sorting through all of this.

I fell asleep again a short while later, this time for much longer. With Esme's silent assurance that everything was going to be fine, I found it a lot easier to rest. Despite bringing it on myself, I couldn't help being exhausted.

I really was reluctant to talk to him again. I was reluctant to talk to anyone again. More drawn in and closed off, more likely to choose to sit alone up in my room over sitting with them again. I mean, I'd speak to them, but that was all. I wouldn't open up, and I wouldn't even mention anything was wrong.

I knew they noticed this.

By the time I could go back to school, I was hardly any better, but I went through with it without an outward fuss. I didn't argue. During the week, nothing had really changed, but I'd learned how to give up. It was just easier to give up. It was what they wanted from me, and if I could somehow make up for all I'd done, might as well.

The first week of October was colder than it had been, and I definitely felt the difference. My first day back at school, away from the house, made me feel just as insecure as I felt the first day I had to go. The only difference was that I wasn't around Jasper anymore. I could feel my anger again, and it hurt. It made it hard to breathe, but I never said a word.

Carlisle had to sit with the principal, and talk about what was going on, and what happened that day. That was what would decide whether or not I could stay here. Carlisle didn't have much choice but to give her an honest explanation, which turned out to be the right move.

"If we can avoid another incident like that, I'd very much appreciate it." She told me, "One boy has made a full recovery, and the other may take a bit more time, but he's expected to be alright. I'm going to schedule you for once a week visits with our guidance counselor. Maybe she can help you adjust." She smiled at me like she was doing me a giant favor.

I didn't say anything, only looking down at the carpet. She looked to Carlisle now.

"She'll be informed as to what day that is, and of course, to keep you informed as well. We encourage parents to take an active role in their child's education, and what goes on in their lives here." She sounded so unbelievably full of it, I couldn't breathe for a second. I thought I might actually puke.

I tuned them out now.

I walked into the classroom, placed the four page essay I'd written down onto Mr. Kline's desk much to his surprise, and sat down as he picked it up, looking it over briefly.

"Thank you, Leandra." He said, giving me a nod, "Did you have a nice break?" I kept my eyes down, shrugging a little. I felt more like crying than talking. The anger I felt again settled back into place like it'd never been gone. I didn't like it.

"Hey." The girl next to me greeted me with a smile. I glanced to her, before I looked back down, "Thank you."

I frowned.

"For what?" I asked, speaking to her for the first time.

"Hitting my brother." She answered, "He definitely had it coming." My eyes widened a little, and at first, I didn't know what to say. Her brother must have been one of the boys I attacked before I got suspended. I honestly had paid no attention who it was.

"I'm really sorry about that." I said, "I didn't even know who I hit. I was just-"

"Don't be." She said, "He likes having two black eyes. Even if it was by a girl. He says it makes him look tougher." I couldn't help smiling a little.

"Well, I guess you're welcome." I said, "I'd be happy to do it again, but I might get kicked out of school for good."

"Probably." She gave a confident nod, "I'm surprised you didn't."

"You and me both." I muttered, and she laughed.

"Normally, they don't tolerate stuff like that. Even less than what you did. Someone important really must want you here." She laughed a little. I looked down. Carlisle probably called in more favors just to keep me here.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't." She smiled when I didn't reply, "The other schools are really boring, and I wouldn't have anybody to talk to."

"Don't you have friends?" I found myself curious. She just smiled and shook her head.

"No." She said, "I don't really like people." Didn't that ring a bell? "The only one I really talk to is my stupid brother, but that's mostly because he likes to bug me. My sister goes here too, but I never see her during the day."

"Why not?" I asked, interested now.

"Well, she's in the baby class. Kindergarten." She explained, "They're sort of kept away from us older kids." She laughed, "Probably so they're not beat up everyday, or so they don't get their little feelings hurt. You know how kids can be."

"Yeah." I agreed, looking down, "They can be pretty mean."

"Up through second grade, they're pretty much on their own schedule." She shrugged with a nod, "And if anybody picks on my sister, I'll have to hurt them. Nobody wants to see that."

"Noted." I mumbled, and she found that funny.

"Not you." She said, "You're pretty tough. You know, everybody was talking about what you did last week. They still are. Second day here, and you already have the whole school afraid of you."

"Good." I muttered, looking down again.

"Just out of nowhere, beating up two kids like that?" She seemed amazed by what I'd done.

"Which one was he?" I asked, "Your brother?"

"Oh, the first one." She said, "He's already back in school, so you can probably meet him today if you wanted."

"Maybe." I doubted I'd want to. I really didn't want to see what I'd done.

"Maybe." She agreed with a smile, and she turned forward again as Mr. Kline got talking. I got the distinct impression that this girl had a lot to say, but nobody to say it to. Being the oldest in her family, she probably did a lot of listening.

We didn't speak again until right before recess. When everybody else was talking. She turned to me, and smiled.

"So where are you from?" She asked. I remembered my time first getting to know Alice. This girl reminded me of her, genuinely interested in what she asked me. I knew she was actually nothing like Alice, but she was very attentive.

"Washington." I answered quietly.

"DC?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"State." Her eyes widened a little.

"Long ways away." She said, "Bet that sucked."

"It still does." I replied and she smiled.

"It's 'cuz you're alone, silly." She laughed, "You have to make friends. It'll suck less then." I rolled my eyes a little.

"I can't make friends." I told her, and her smile faded.

"Why not?"

"I'm too mean." I answered simply.

"I don't think you're too mean." She said, "I think you just don't like anybody messing with you." I looked over, "Some people like to be alone more than other people. There's nothing wrong with that."

I didn't know what to say to that.

The bell for recess called everyone outside, and she stood up with everyone else. Looking to me. I didn't want to move.

"Come on." She plead, "Come meet my brother." I groaned, but stood up, "Maybe if we're lucky, he'll cry or wet his pants."

I followed her from the room, insecurely stuffing my hands in my pockets. She slowed so she walked beside me, not seeming the least bit concerned. Grinning, clearly she looked forward to scaring her brother.

"What's your name?" I asked curiously on our way up the hall with everyone else.

"Alyssa." She replied, "You can call me Aly, or just Alyssa. I go by both. My brothers usually only call me Aly, though."

"You have more than one brother?" I asked and she nodded.

"I have four."

So I'd been wrong. She wasn't the oldest. Unless they were all younger than her too, but she never mentioned any other siblings here at this school with her, other than her brother and her sister.

"Wow." I murmured, "Big family."

"No kidding." She muttered, and her smile faded slightly.

"Don't you like your brothers?" I asked quietly, and she looked to me. Her smile returning.

"Yeah." She said, "Yeah, they're.. They're brothers, you know? They just pick on me a lot."

"Are they mean to you?" I had to ask. I usually made it a point with the boys not to be too nosey when it came to their home lives, but apparently, that didn't apply here. I had to know.

"Sometimes." She shrugged, "But all brothers are. There's just not a lot of room for all of us where I live." That smashed my suspicion. I nodded, understanding now. She wasn't from the richest family, and I could definitely understand why that'd embarrass someone.

We crossed the field together, and I could see that her brother was already waiting for her in her spot. Seeing us coming, he stood up quickly.

"Are you crazy?" He called to Alyssa, "Get away from her!"

"Shut up, Alex." She rolled her eyes, "She's nice."

"Nice, my ass." He countered, "Do you not see what she did to me?" He wasn't lying. He really did have two black eyes, but at least he could still see out of them. A deep bruise down the left side of his face from where I first hit him spread a tiny bit over his cheekbone, joining with the darker bruising of his eye. I'd really hit him _hard_.

"You had it coming, and you know it." Alyssa replied, crossing her arms. He paused, glancing between his sister and I. Until he finally sighed and grinned.

"Okay, you're right." He said, looking to me, "But no more hitting me, okay? That really hurt."

"I'll do my best, but no promises." I mumbled, and he grinned wider, laughing a little.

"Alex, this is Leandra." Alyssa smiled at me, "She's new here."

"Nice name." He told me, nodding a little. He seemed nice enough, but studying his face, I noticed something off. His right eye was darker, more swollen than the other. His left, where I'd first hit him, wasn't as black as the other, and on the outside of his right eye, was a definite mark of impact. Red and swollen, with a slight split in the skin on his upper cheek, closer to his temple.

The only problem was, I never hit him there. Not in the way it would have taken to get that. That was the mark of a backhand, but I didn't do that. I only punched him, and I knew what a backhand bruise looked like. Maybe roughhousing with his brothers? I'd seen the way Josh and Zack played around with each other.

"So since when do you make friends, Aly?" Alex asked, grinning at her beside me. He had the same color eyes as she did, maybe slightly darker.

"I have friends." She countered defiantly, "I just never let them meet you."

"How old are you?" Alex asked me, and I sighed.

"Ten." I answered, "Well, ten years, two months, and three weeks."

They both seemed to find that funny. Alex nodded, "I don't count it like that. I say I'm ninety-two years from dying." I frowned. That was an odd way to look at it.

"You're not going to live until you're a hundred, stupid." Alyssa told him, "You're probably going to pull some stupid stunt much sooner than that, and it'll get you killed." I didn't like this conversation. Most people didn't talk so casually about dying.

"Fine." Alex rolled his eyes at her, "I've been alive for eight years."

We all eventually sat down, getting tired of standing around. These kids were interesting. Their bantering back and forth reminded me a little bit of Zack and Josh, and I half wished I had a sibling around my age, but instantly went back on that.

My luck, it'd have been a sister, and I'd have had to protect her. I don't think I could have handled taking someone else's beatings along with my own. Or it would have been a boy, and he'd have been raised to beat me up too.

This was new territory for me. The only reason I got along so well with Josh, Zack and Andrew, was because I knew them before. I didn't know these kids, and from what I could remember, I don't think I'd ever had a friend that was a girl before. That actually did make a difference.

As we had to go back inside, she seemed a lot happier. Chatting away about how stupid her little brother was, but I knew by the way she talked about him that she'd always stand up for him. Sister stuff.

When the school day had ended, it was a surprise to me. It really did go by faster with someone to talk with. We met up with Alex outside the front of the school, and Alyssa smiled at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She really seemed unsure.

"I don't plan on getting suspended again any time soon." I muttered disappointedly, "So probably." She grinned, seeming really pleased. I was beginning to get the distinct impression that she really liked having a friend. Even if I was only at the barely-tolerating her stage.

"I'm sorry again for hitting you." I told Alex and he grinned also, "I wasn't looking at who I aimed for."

"I know." He said, "It's fine. I already told you. Just don't do it again." I laughed a little, nodding.

With that, we parted ways. I walked away, and they waited. Probably for their little sister that had yet to come out. I crossed the street to Carlisle's car, again parked in the shade.

I was silent as I climbed in, turning to put my backpack in the back seat. I didn't throw it this time.

I knew immediately that the family was nervous as I got home. They watched my every move as I stepped inside, Carlisle following me. Probably looking for any sign I'd killed or maimed somebody. I knew I had to tell them something, but I wasn't sure what.

"I'm gonna go do my homework." I finally muttered quietly.

I headed up the stairs to their sighs of relief. The truth was, I felt a little tired suddenly, from having Jasper take my anger the second I was through the door.

So instead of pulling out my homework as I got to my room, I just laid across my bed, face down. Worn out in every sense of the term.

**A/N: I know this isn't as long as my other chapters, but I wanted to leave it here. I haven't had much of a chance to go over the bottom half of this chapter, but I'm releasing it now, because I'm impatient lol  
My beta said it was fine, so I'm going with her word on this one.  
So.. Dramatics in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, and (OMG) I hope I don't have to type another like that out for awhile. From here, we start to move on a little more. FINALLY. There's plenty more planned for this story guys, don't worry about that.  
THANK YOU To my GORGEOUS reviewers in chapter four. :D:D Totally made my day.  
Going to be spending the rest of the day at the hospital, which is why I'm so impatient lol please cheer me up. :)  
See ya in chapter six. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Emmett!" Esme's clear scolding had both he and I laughing.

Esme's unhappy tone at Emmett for teaching me how to slide down the stairs' handrail, and jump off halfway almost startled me. She caught me mid-jump, and I landed on the floor with a heavy thud, and a laugh. The smile on Emmett's face told me he thought the scolding was worth it.

"Don't worry." Emmett murmured to me, "Tomorrow, I'll show you how to jump off the roof."

"No, you won't." Esme was outraged, "Don't you even think about it. Either of you." I knew he was joking, so I couldn't help laughing.

Another two weeks had passed, and school was somewhat tolerable now. Of course, seeing Alyssa every day was helping. I'd gotten used to seeing her, even if I didn't do much talking about me.

I never mentioned her to anyone in my family, because I didn't want to get their hopes up. All they knew was that I was doing better there. By better, of course, I meant I didn't complain anymore. It never got easier, but I learned how to just grit my teeth, and deal with it.

I'd already sat through two one-hour meetings with the counselor, and I hated every moment of it. She tried to talk to me, but I refused to say a word to her. I didn't want to be there, even if her office was quiet. A good place to go to get away from all the other kids.

At home, was a different story.

At home, I was still very closed off. I was closed off, but I was getting very good at pretending everything was alright. I was still scared, and I was still upset, but to them, everything had just gone away. Jasper watched me, and I knew he was suspicious, but because I never brought it up, neither did he.

Carlisle wasn't easily fooled, though. He'd insist.

"I'm fine." I'd tell him with a laugh, "You worry too much."

He should. He really should.

I never argued anymore, finding that to be too much of a chore when I was already doing so much to stay on their good side. To make it easier on my family. I pushed everything back, and only cried late, late at night. Hoping nobody would hear me.

Pushing everything back was never enough to keep the nightmares away, no matter how hard I tried. My nightmares varied now. Between what happened before in the vision, what happened before in my past, and what could eventually happen with Jack.

I was so scared he'd find me. Some nights, it kept me awake. Trembling where I sat. Sometimes it amazed me, really thinking about it, how deeply terrified I could be of one person.

I would sit up in my bed, the light in the room on. I couldn't make myself turn it off. I just knew if I turned it off, he'd find me. It was stupid, I knew, but I couldn't help it. It was times like that that my mind like to get creative, just to scare me. I was fully aware that he couldn't reach me here. I knew he'd be stupid to try, and he knew that too, but I couldn't help being afraid.

But now, instead of running downstairs for company, I'd stay right where I was. I stay in my room, and I'd refuse to leave my bed. Sitting up, waiting for the fear to pass, or for me to get too tired to stay afraid.

I knew Jasper could probably feel how scared I was, but he kept my anger. He wouldn't give it back while I was at home. I didn't ask him to. He could keep it for all he wanted. I didn't like it.

So he kept it. When he was home, that was. Jasper had started attending night classes at the college here, and that seemed to keep his mind busy. Probably as a small example of how school wasn't that bad.

Carlisle had taken a second, part time job, after ensuring I was fine with it, of course. I would be alright, I told him. He didn't have to worry about me. Of course he didn't have to worry about me. I was done resisting. I was just glad I had them with me.

Lately, my dreams had taken more to the vision I'd had.

Remembering, recalling what had happened before on a more recognizable level. When they'd left before, they'd left me behind. With my mother, of all people, but as I'd explained before, it hadn't been their fault.

However, right around now, this time in the vision, my mother had found, and brought home a boyfriend. I didn't remember much about him, but I did know he wasn't the best person in the world.

I realized quick, after only a few dreams, that I shouldn't be doing everything I could to push them away. I should just be grateful they took me with them. I was only just beginning to recognize the emotions of that vision. How painful it was to lose them. To be left behind like that tore me apart, and though it did hurt, I knew it was far worse than I remembered yet.

Another reason I refused to open up again. The last thing I needed was for them to know how pointless it was.

So along with the fear I felt constantly, there was a new sadness there I wasn't used to. One nothing had happened to cause, but to me, that sadness was real. I carried it around, unable to do much else with it.

That night, after Emmett had gotten into trouble with Esme, I was trying unsuccessfully to sleep.

Trying to force myself to calm down enough to sleep, but there was a thunderstorm overhead. Further off in the distance, and I knew it hadn't reached us yet, but it was coming. It wasn't too bad, as I'd seen worse ones, but this one kept me awake. I'd jump every time I heard the thunder, and I'd jump every time I saw the flash of lightning behind my closed eyes.

Resorting to stuffing a pillow over my head, I curled into a tight ball, and I waited.

Until at one point, the wind blew particularly roughly, right as the rain started dumping outside. Really pouring, from the sound of it. I sat up in my bed, looking toward the illuminated windows from the lights outside in the yard. Leaves blew across the balcony outside as the wind carried them from the trees. I heard the scraping noise they made clear as a bell, and it unsettled me.

Now, already scared from all of that, my fear turned to heart stopping terror as an even louder clap of thunder exploded overhead, at the very same time lightning illuminated my bedroom, and with just that, all of the light was gone.

The room around me bathed in complete darkness, my heart pounded a million miles a minute as I fought my way out of bed. Kicking the blanket back as quickly as I could.

I knew it was stupid to be so afraid of the dark, and a thunderstorm, but that did little to calm me down. Throwing open my bedroom door, I raced up the hall toward the stairs until arms suddenly caught me. My resulting scream seemed to come from my toes, and I fought.

"It's only me." Alice's voice immediately stopped my struggles, "It's okay, Leandra. It's alright."

Listening to the sounds of those downstairs ascending the stairs, I started to cry. Heavily. She lifted me up easily, holding me as I clung to her. Outside, the rain continued to pour in rivers as I cried uncontrollably in Alice's arms.

"What happened?" Esme's voice directly behind me caused a strong whimpering sob to leave me, as she'd startled me.

"The storm must have scared her." Alice explained, "She came running from her room. I knew she'd fall if she tried to run down the stairs, so I stopped her. She wasn't expecting it."

The electricity was suddenly restored, announced by the light in the hallway returning. I could see again, and the process of trying to calm down started.

"Is she alright?" Carlisle was there suddenly, both he and Jasper soaking wet. They had probably gone outside to fix the power.

"She'll be alright." Alice answered, "Though with how tight she's holding on, I think she'll be awake awhile."

After a few seconds I was slowly changed arms and I recognized Esme's arms holding me now. I kept my eyes closed tight, despite being able to see now. I was still so scared.

She turned, carrying me down the stairs. Not seeming bothered in the least to hold me this way. Just as she reached the bottom step, the light disappeared yet again with another heavy rumble of thunder. Given my whimper and tighter hold, she knew I noticed. She sighed, shaking her head.

"It'll be fine." She told them, "Wait until morning so this doesn't keep happening. We'll just light some candles." The others immediately got moving.

The candles were lit, and the movement in the room died down as the others settled around. Concerned over how upset I was. Lately, if I ever got upset, it didn't last this long. Since that day, I'd just buried it all away. Now, I couldn't.

"What's bothering you, sweetheart?" Esme asked, sitting with me on the couch. I finally opened my eyes, and I could see again thanks to the several candles resting lit around the room. Looking up at her. I knew why she asked. Refusing to talk about things that bothered me lately, and suddenly, tonight happened.

"Everything." I finally said, a quiet pitiful sob in my voice, "I want to be able to see ahead, but I can't. I can't see what's coming, or when something's going to change. I hate it. I hate being so scared all the time, and it _never_ stops. I'm so scared all the time. I'm scared when I'm awake, and I'm scared when I'm asleep, and it doesn't even matter where I am. I'm scared here, and I'm scared away from here. I can't keep doing this."

My tears returned full force as I spoke. Her expression softened, drawing me tighter into her arms.

"You don't have to be afraid." She told me, and I didn't bother replying to that.

Esme sat with me, holding me securely in her arms on her lap. Sitting silently now, she didn't ask anymore. Several minutes passed this way, but I was having trouble calming down, despite the way Jasper watched me. The storm outside kept claiming my full attention, and I trembled roughly with each loud clap of thunder that rocked the house, and my tears continued.

At one point, I felt her nod. To what, I had no idea, but I didn't feel like asking.

Holding me this way was something she'd done for me before. She'd held me like this before, many times, but tonight, she decided to do something new that made it somehow mean more.

Softly, she started to hum to me.

I wasn't sure I was hearing right when she started, so I had to listen closer. Concentrating on her voice instead of the storm outside or the fearful thoughts in my mind.

I didn't recognize the song she hummed, but it had to be the most beautiful song I'd ever heard in my life. I almost couldn't hear it with how quiet it was, and I found myself calming down just so I could listen. To focus solely on her voice, and nothing else.

The combination of her smoothing my hair and her humming voice comforted me in a way I had never been before. Not once. Not even with her before. This was something that calmed me far more than anything else she'd ever done. More than anything anyone had ever done.

I'd never had this experience before, but it was something I definitely loved, and it reached a much different part of me I hadn't even known still existed before. It reached a part of me that I had always thought was gone forever.

I'd always, _always_ thought that when I grew up too fast, that was it. I always thought that when I grew up, there wouldn't be this anymore.

This opened my eyes to the fact that I did still have a part of me that had always longed for this. To be comforted this way, to know for sure that she was here, because the sound of her humming was so constant. It seemingly never ended. I'd never paid any attention whatsoever to the part of me that desperately needed a mother. I'd resisted it, until tonight, when Esme filled that part more completely than I'd ever accepted before.

It confused me, but I didn't question it.

It really made me realize what the others had been telling me all along. I really was only ten years old. My tears had finally stopped, though they continued to dry on my cheek, and I just remember how tired my eyes were. Sore from crying so much, so often.

This was something I hadn't even realized I needed. Esme doing this for me was something I never even knew was possible. She wasn't my mother, and I'd always kept that in mind, but suddenly, she was now. Now that I almost had no choice but to accept that, it almost hurt to have that part of me that needed this woken up again.

I hadn't even noticed just how calm I'd gotten until I gave first one shaky yawn, then another moments later, and within probably only a few minutes, I fell asleep. Normally, I kept myself awake by dreading falling asleep. Scared of what I'd see, and what I'd remember. It nearly surprised me to know I didn't dread it. If I could have been surprised, I would have been.

I woke a bit later to her moving, carrying me back up the stairs, but her continued humming kept me from waking completely.

She laid me back into my bed, and I did start to wake up. Enough to reach up and grab her hand as she tried to pull back. I wanted her to stay with me. Not to leave. She smiled at me, holding my hand in return as she gently sat down. She continued with her song, this time adding quiet words to what she was humming before.

Her calm voice, how slow, unrushed and patient it was, combined with being covered with my blanket, had my eyes close again. Seconds after I felt the secure weight of the heavy blanket over me, that was it. It was as if I had no choice but to sleep, but it was different from what Jasper was able to do. This was comforted sleep, not exhausted sleep.

I slept the entire rest of the night, hardly moving. When I woke up, I was alone, and the morning was still rainy, but not as much as it was the night before. The quieter rain reminded me more of home, and I wasn't afraid anymore.

I honestly didn't know what to think about the night before. It unsettled me just how much I'd relied on her. Allowing myself to be comforted that much was more than I'd ever let myself before. I'd always taken her kind words and her hugs lightly. Not depending on them or relying on them.

But the night before, it was more than that. That part of me hadn't ever been reached before. Would it stay that way? The real question was would I let it stay that way? And now that I'd allowed myself to be reached that deeply, would I open up to the family again?

Would they treat me differently, or would I treat them differently? Everyone had seen what she did, and at the time, I didn't mind it. Now, I was embarrassed. I wasn't some little kid. I depended on my ability to handle things on my own. As much as I'd never known how much I needed a mother, I needed my wall of strength I hid behind.

It confused me how easily she stepped behind that wall, and reached me without me blocking her way.

Had she done the right thing, putting forth that extra bit of effort? It came naturally for her to be a mother, but did it come naturally for me to be a daughter?

All these questions raced through my mind, but I knew the only way to find the answer would be to go downstairs. I'd always been so guarded. Independent in my own way. Would this change how I'd always been?

So nervously, I left my room. I didn't know why I was nervous, or why I was so unsettled. I hadn't minded what she did for me. Not in the least, but I felt like I didn't know where I stood anymore. Like I didn't know myself anymore.

I found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table with Carlisle. Both of them looked my way, finding me where I stood hesitantly in the doorway. I was sure she saw the questions in my eyes, ones I didn't know how to ask, because she just smiled.

"Come here, sweetheart." She requested quietly, and I did. I stood beside her where she sat, and she took my hands in her own, "I know what happened wasn't something you're used to, but I'll be here to do that for you whenever you need me to. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable?" I shook my head immediately, "You weren't expecting that to work so well, were you?"

"No." I answered quietly, shaking my head again.

"You're still a child, honey." She reminded me, "You still crave affection, and you need that comfort you never received from your own mother. Craving affection like that isn't something you need to be ashamed of. It's nothing to feel embarrassed about."

"I didn't even know that was possible." I admitted, "I've never felt that comfortable before."

She smiled, "I think that's what's been bothering you. The bond was there, but you needed more than that. You just didn't know how to ask for it. I've been tempted to try that for some time now, but I wasn't sure how to go about it."

"It probably wouldn't have worked as good before." I smiled a little.

"Probably not." She agreed with me, "The others aren't going to tease you, if that's what you're worried about." I nodded a little, "They understand completely, okay? They won't even bring it up. They don't expect anything different, but they do hope you'll give them a chance as well. We all know how closed you've been."

She calmed me down about it, easing my worries without even really trying.

After that, I spent the rest of that rainy Sunday talking to Carlisle and her. Admitting how scared I am away from home. How scared I am at school.

"I want you to look." I told Carlisle, "To make sure you're the only one allowed to pick me up from school. Well, you or the others."

"Why?" He frowned, "Leandra, that should go without saying."

"I don't know, but.. Just look. For me. Please?" He smiled, and I knew why. I never used that phrase against him, "I know I'm a pain, but I just want to be sure." He nodded.

"You aren't a pain, and I'll do that first thing tomorrow." He said, "I'll also request specifically to be notified if that changes, or if anyone else were to try." I nodded this time, taking a breath, "Again, that should go without saying, but if it'll ease your worries, I'll be happy to do it."

Honesty was working so far. Making myself say the things I needed to say was helping.

"And I don't like having to visit with that stupid school counselor." I said, "She watches my every move, and it makes me think she's just itching to label me as insane or something."

"I'll see what I can do about that as well." Carlisle nodded again. I was being taken seriously. This was working.

"I won't hit anybody else if I can help it." I mumbled, "But sometimes it's hard. Especially when I'm packed around other kids. I get scared then. I mean, in class, it's not so hard, because they're not moving around. But during lunch or at recess or something, I have to sit away from them."

"Oh, honey." Esme murmured, "You shouldn't isolate yourself like that. It defeats the purpose."

"I'm not really isolated." I admitted quietly, "Somebody sits with me." She smiled immediately, glancing to Carlisle, "She's in my class, and I started talking to her the day I got back from being suspended. Apparently, one of the boys I beat up was her brother. So the least I could do was talk to her, you know? After that, we just sort of.. Follow each other around. Her brother follows us when he can."

"That's so wonderful." Esme grinned, hugging me. I couldn't help laughing a little, her enthusiasm contagious.

"It isn't that big of a deal." I mumbled, shaking my head with a laugh, "I don't know. It's just different with her. She's not like the other kids."

"So tell me about her." Esme requested, and I frowned a little.

"Well," I murmured, "Her name's Alyssa. She's got a huge family?" I was uncertain if that was interesting enough. Esme smiled, so I assumed it was, "She's got four brothers."

"Four?" That did seem to surprise her a little.

"Yeah." I said, "Three older than her, and one younger. That's the one I hit. We haven't talked much about her other brothers yet. I don't think she likes talking about them much. And she's got a little sister, but I haven't met her yet. She's in Kindergarten."

I hadn't even realized I was rambling. I went quiet, looking down.

"Honey, there is something I'd like to talk to you about." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her, "I want to ask you if it'd be alright with you if I picked up a project."

"What do you mean?"

She explained about her hobbies, things she liked to do. She told me she'd found an old house she wanted to restore, or fix up, and she wanted to know if I'd be okay with her being gone for hours, sometimes all day on certain days.

I told her it was fine. Whatever she wanted to do, I was fine with.

"Why does everyone think they have to ask me before they do anything?" I wondered, shaking my head a little.

"We want to avoid upsetting you." She explained, "We know how difficult change is for you."

"I'm as adjusted to being here as I'm ever going to be." I told her, "As long as someone stays here with me, and I'm not here all alone, I'll be alright."

It was that way I returned to school the next day. Monday. The last week in October began the day before Halloween.

I made sure Carlisle stuck with what he told me the day before, sticking by his side as he entered the office, spoke with the proper people. This person's name was Ms. Vera, and she took care of all the important records for the principal.

She assured Carlisle that the only ones actually allowed to sign me out of school was Esme, and himself, but unfortunately there was nothing they could do about who picked me up after school.

However, there was always someone watching the kids as they got to their proper places once let out of school. As in to the buses or their parent's cars. If something was wrong, they'd be the first to know.

She also assured him that this was generally the safest school in the district when it came to pick up and drop off, and that if he had any more questions regarding my safety, they'd be happy to answer them, or address any concerns he had. He declined with a smile.

Even that bitch seemed so full of it. Just like the principal. I didn't believe her, but Carlisle assured me that he did. The bell had rung while we were in there, so I hoped I wouldn't be in trouble for being late to class.

For once, however, Carlisle actually walked me to my class. He stepped into the room with me, and I smiled a little at the sound the class made as they saw him. Carlisle paid no attention to that, though. Probably used to it, considering he taught part time now. He apologized to Mr. Kline as I stood there with him, letting him know my reason for being late.

Mr. Kline assured him that he wasn't upset, and glanced down at me.

"Leandra, do you think you could please go have a seat?" Mr. Kline asked me, "I'd like a small word with your father." I nodded compliantly. Leaving Carlisle's side, I headed up the row to my desk.

"_That's_ your dad?" Alyssa asked me in a whisper, and I laughed a little.

"Yeah." I said, sitting down, "Why?"

"I've never had a crush on someone's dad before." She muttered, and I looked at her. What the hell was she talking about?

"Gross." I said, and she laughed.

"Are you blind?"

"No." I said, opening my backpack.

"Look at him." She stressed.

"Okay," I laughed, "Stop talking. How'd you like it if I talked like that about your dad?" The thought turned my stomach, but I was trying to make a point.

"Ew." She frowned.

"Exactly." I huffed, laying my book on my desk, "So shut it."

"But you're not actually related to him, though." I regretted letting that slip.

"So?" I countered, "He's still my dad. As much as a dad as I have."

"All I'm saying, is that he's hot-"

"Ah!" I interrupted, "Shut up, Alyssa." I leaned forward, thumping my head on my desk. Somehow knowing Carlisle could actually hear what she was saying bugged me.

"She's right, you know." The girl sitting behind me, her name was Brianna, commented, "I don't think there's anybody here that doesn't agree. Except maybe the boys-"

I turned around, "Do you _want_ me to stab you?"

"Leandra." Alyssa frowned, and I sighed. She was right.

"I'm serious." Brianna insisted, "I get that you don't see it, because if you did there'd be something wrong with you, but that don't mean _we_ can't look."

"Fine." I muttered, shaking my head as I looked back down at my book and Friday's math problems, "Look all you want, but leave me out of it. You guys are gross."

After a minute or two, I watched as Carlisle came up the row to me, squatting down to be on my level, "When I get home tonight, we have to talk." He seemed concerned, "Emmett will be picking you up today, because I have to work late, but expect a discussion when I get home. Okay?" I nodded, agreeing, "Will you be okay today?"

I didn't miss his brief glimpse to the hyperventilating and giggling girl behind me, knowing Alyssa was doing the same.

"I'll be okay." I sighed, and he nodded, hugging me briefly. Smiling a little as he stood up. I watched after him as he left the room.

"Oh my God." Alyssa whined as soon as the door was closed behind him, melting a little in her chair, "I've got to come over to your house one of these days."

"Only if I can go over to yours first, and drool over your dad." I muttered bitterly.

"You wouldn't want to do that." She said, her smile fading instantly.

"It's only fair." I challenged, and she looked down. I sighed, suddenly feeling bad for being so mean, "I'll ask if it's okay."

She instantly grinned again, looking over.

"Thanks."

"Can I come too?" Brianna asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"One at a time." I mumbled.

"Aw." She muttered, disappointed. I shook my head, looking forward again at Mr. Kline trying to get everyone to pay attention again. Just as I figured it would be, that was impossible until after recess.

As usual, Alyssa and I sat together for lunch.

"So do you think they'll say yes?" She asked me, hopefully smiling at me.

"I don't know." I mumbled honestly, "I haven't exactly been the model kid, you know?" She nodded a little, looking back down at her tray for a moment. She had something on her mind.

"Leandra?" She asked, and I looked over, "I know you don't like talking about it, but.." She trailed off, "Why do you live with a foster family?"

I immediately looked down.

"Why don't you live with your real family? Did your daddy hit you?" She asked, and I stayed quiet. I knew she'd eventually get really curious, but I hadn't expected it so soon.

"No." I lied. Not only, I finished in my mind. I couldn't admit it to her.

"Just wondering." She shrugged a little, "How'd you get those scars, then?" She nodded toward my arms resting on top of the table. I'd pushed the sleeves of my sweater up, because it was too warm in the cafeteria. I immediately moved, hiding my arms under the table and pulling my sleeves back down.

The scars she was referring to, were the ones I had on my forearms. The only ones visible to her, as I had a lot more than those, but they were caused by Jack. They'd healed quite a bit, but I hated how clear they still were on my skin. I always had.

Seeing I was not appreciating the subject, she spoke again.

"I got scars too, so don't worry." She assured me, "See? Look." She raised her sleeves, and I couldn't help but look. Peering over at the inside of her arm, I saw that she did. Hers were more uniform, though.

Though some seemed older than others, they were thin. Ten or fifteen. Stacked along the inside of her arm near her elbow. I could hardly see them, but I could tell that they were very obviously deliberate. It was odd to see.

I couldn't quite understand it. Even with mine not being as even, or as neat as her were, hers seemed different. Our scars weren't near the same.

"What happened?" I asked quietly, curious.

"You tell first." She shook her head, "I asked first." I looked back down at her arm, until I noticed something else.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, reaching over and pointing out the hint of a bruise higher on her arm. One she hadn't even realized was partially visible. She flinched a little, a blush coating her cheeks as she hurriedly lowered her sleeve.

"You first." She insisted. I looked back up, meeting her eyes. I hesitated before looking back down at my lunch tray.

"Never mind, then." I mumbled, and she shrugged.

"Fine." She mumbled.

"Fine." I repeated, and we finished our lunch in silence. Well, she did. I wasn't very hungry suddenly. More nauseous than hungry, actually.

She didn't let this bother her, though, and she acted as if there was nothing wrong. We finished the second half of lunch by walking around the playground. It really was chilly out today, and after about ten other girls coming up and asking me about Carlisle, I found it a very good idea to go back to the classroom early.

"I didn't say a word to anyone." Alyssa laughed in her own defense, "I swear."

"Remind me to stab Brianna." I muttered, "It's only fair."

"Why do you want to stab so many people? Or hurt them?" She asked, curious.

"Why do you always gotta ask a million questions?" I countered, heading inside the building.

"Sorry." She muttered defensively. The classroom door was locked, so we just sat outside the door.

By the time school let out for the day, just about everybody in the fifth and fourth grades had asked me about Carlisle. If I didn't have Alyssa with me when all that happened, I probably would have hit a few people.

I stepped across the street to where Emmett stood in the shade, grinning as he greeted me with a grin of his own.

"Hey, shorty." He smiled, lifting me off my feet easily. Sitting me on his shoulder, he chuckled, "I think you have an admirer." He gestured back across the street at Alyssa and her incredulous, wide-eyed expression.

I sighed, waving her over. She hesitated, but eventually came over. The way she stared at him told me that he was the one with an admirer. Not me.

"Alyssa, this is Emmett. My brother." I told her from where I sat on his shoulder. I don't think she could have blushed any brighter. This time, I had to laugh, "Emmett, this is Alyssa. My friend."

"Friend, huh?" He smiled, kneeling a little, "Well, it's very nice to meet you." He held his hand out to her, and I thought she was going to die. She muttered something in reply, and he chuckled. I nearly toppled over, but held on as he stood back up.

Alex wandered closer, staring up at Emmett like he was meeting his idol. I looked to Emmett as Alex kneeled on the street, digging in his bag.

"And that's Alex." I said to him, "Her little brother. He's weird." Emmett was more focused on what Alex was doing, half confused and half amused. I looked back down at him, watching as he stood back up.

"Can I have your autograph?" Alex grinned, and I covered my face. Horribly embarrassed, along with Alyssa as well, but Emmett seemed thoroughly entertained given his extended laugh, "You're just so cool."

"Sure." Emmett chuckled before Alyssa could chase him away. When Emmett said that, she seemed surprised. He swung me to my feet, and I couldn't help laughing at the quick drop, and the way it tickled my stomach.

"Might want to make one for Alyssa too, or she's going to steal mine." Alex muttered, and this time, I laughed too. She glared at Alex, and punched his arm.

So Emmett carefully tore the piece of paper in half. He didn't seem bothered in the least by my friends, which I thought he would be. Emmett smiling at her again, he seemed to be having a grand time making it hard for her to breathe.

"Don't pass out." I muttered to her, and she gave me an incredulous look. As Emmett scribbled on the pieces of paper, I spoke to him now, "Alyssa wants to come over to our house sometime. I told her I'd ask, so put in a good word for her, okay?" He glanced up.

"I'm sure that'd be fine." He said, "I know Alice would have a field day with all that hair to work with."

I don't think Emmett could have made Alyssa's day any more than he did right then. Aside from when he handed her her piece of paper, and kissed her hand. The wind blew cold this afternoon, so I knew she wouldn't think anything of how cold his hand was compared to hers. Even if she did, I knew she didn't care, and I was actually genuinely surprised she didn't pass out right there in the street.

Emmett handed Alex's back to him, and Alex grew another grin.

"Thanks." He said, looking up at Emmett as he lifted me back up onto his shoulder.

"Anytime." Emmett chuckled, giving him a nod. Considering Alex still had a good bit of his black eyes and bruises, Emmett looked to me, and I knew what he wanted to ask.

"Yeah, I hit him." I admitted with a little shrug.

"Shorty." He frowned, and I rolled my eyes a little.

"I know." I said, "But not since that day. Huh?"

"Nope." Alex answered, "This is just left over."

When we could finally leave, I was tucked safely into the passenger seat of Emmett's jeep as we made our way back toward home.

"I think Alyssa is in love with Carlisle." I muttered, irritation in my tone. He laughed at what I said, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't doubt it." He said, "If how she looked at me was any indication. She doesn't hide it very well."

"Well," I admitted, "She said she has a crush."

"It's normal." He chuckled.

"It's weird." I countered, "Well, whatever it is, she needs to knock it off."

"It's only weird because you're part of the family, shorty." He told me, "If you'd just met us, you'd have the same reaction."

"No." I corrected, sitting forward a little, "I've never had that reaction. Remember? Back when I did first meet you guys. I met Alice first. Then Edward, and Jasper. I never acted like that."

"I wouldn't know. I didn't see you until lunch time." He reminded me.

"Well, I didn't." I replied, "You can ask Jasper. I was more nervous at being caught smoking than amazed like that."

"Well, you were also younger back then." He pointed out, "That could have been it, too."

"Not that much younger." I mumbled, "I'm still small."

"You might be small, but you've got some punch packed in that tiny package." He chuckled, "How long has it been since that fight? And he's still got two black eyes?"

My smile faded as I looked down. I thought about what I noticed the day I got back. The bruise I didn't cause.

"Yeah." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down. Should I bother bringing it up? It was probably nothing, but it bothered me. Then again, it had always bothered me how Zack and Josh would play rough.

"What's wrong?" He asked, glancing over at me.

"Nothing." I said, and he gave me a look, "Really. Nothing." He continued with the look, so I sighed, "Do all boys play rough with each other?"

"That's pretty much a given." He answered, "And it also depends on how they're brought up. It's in their nature, shorty." That was as good as an answer as I needed.

"Just wondering." I explained, my tone telling him he'd answered me sufficiently, and he nodded. We traveled in silence for a moment until I spoke again, "I wanted to hit everybody that asked about him today."

He smirked, "Carlisle?" I nodded, "Just imagine tomorrow. They'll all be asking about me." I groaned, realizing he was right.

"New rule." I said, "Nobody's allowed to visit me at school. Not if I want to stay out of jail."

"Protective?" He asked, "Or jealous?"

"Both, I think." I admitted, and he smiled over at me.

"Well, that's new." I didn't comment on that, "Don't worry. You'll always be the only shorty to me." I smiled a little.

I wasn't going to say anything, but the second we got inside to find Rosalie and Esme talking on the couch, Emmett decided he needed to report.

"Shorty's little friend is the cutest thing." He chuckled, following me inside as he closed the door behind him. Ignoring him, I sat on the couch, and since we didn't have any homework besides reading, I stayed there.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, looking to Esme. Hoping to change the subject.

She offered a supportive smile, "No, honey. There are just some concerns of your teacher that need to be discussed. That's all."

"I've been good." I told her, "I haven't hit anybody."

"It's not about that." She assured me, "Don't worry."

So I brought out my book, frowning at it. Waiting for Carlisle to get home, I finished reading everything we had to read before twenty minutes had passed. It would have been faster, but I was distracted by my own thoughts.

By the time he did get home, I was twice as worried. Had I done something wrong that I didn't know about?

I followed him into the kitchen, nervously sitting at the small kitchen table. Where he spoke to me most often. Esme sat beside me with a small smile, so I knew at least she wasn't mad at me.

I waited, watching as he sat across the table from me. He didn't seem mad either, but I could tell whatever it was had been on his mind all day.

"Let me begin," He said, "By saying you're not in any trouble. I promise you." I eased ever so slightly, waiting, "We'll be going over this in greater detail at the conference on Friday, but I'd like to address this with you now."

I fidgeted a little, nervous. Why would Mr. Kline want to schedule a conference? That usually meant the kid was in trouble.

"There are a handful of concerns he mentioned, and the first being that he's worried that you're too bright, too smart for the work in his class." That surprised me, "He thinks it's too easy for you. He's worried you're not living up to your full potential there, and he wants to discuss the possibility of moving you ahead a grade."

"Even with all the school I already missed?" I asked, frowning a little in my confusion.

"Apparently." Carlisle smiled a little, "Your test scores in reading alone are at high school levels." I remembered that. The short tests we'd had to take the week before was where he got that from, "Every other subject he's tested you in has far surpassed what grade you're in now."

Emmett smiled at me from where he leaned against the frame, and to my surprise, Jasper did as well beside him.

"I want your opinion on the matter." He said, "I'd like to know your thoughts."

"I'd rather stay." I murmured, "Moving up a grade means I'd have to start middle school already, since fifth grade is the highest grade in this school. I don't want to have to start a new school again. I'm just getting used to this one."

Carlisle nodded, "I understand."

"Is.. That okay?"

"Of course." He replied, and I sighed a little, "Now, there are a few more concerns." His previous small smile faded. Concern taking its place. I waited, looking to him, "As he explains it, sometimes during the day, he gives the class time to draw, or write their own stories about subjects he specifies." I looked down, knowing exactly what he was getting at, "Do you want to tell me about what you draw?"

"No." I mumbled, tracing the edge of the table with my finger.

"Leandra." He prompted and I sighed.

"I use the color red a lot." I answered, "So he doesn't like that. That's not my fault."

"That's not what this is about." He murmured, shaking his head, "This particular day, he asked everyone to draw what they dreamed about."

"He shouldn't have asked that." I replied simply, shrugging, "I wasn't even going to do it, but he wanted me to."

"He's only concerned, Leandra, and I can easily see why." Carlisle assured me, "He showed me one, and I have to say I am a bit concerned as well."

"I didn't do anything bad." I grumbled, "I didn't draw people." He sighed, reaching into his back pocket, pulling out the piece of paper he was talking about. Unfolding it, he laid it flat on the table in front of me. I didn't see what was so bad about it.

"Damn, shorty." Emmett was surprised, and I looked to him.

"What's so wrong with it?" I asked.

"Well.." He muttered incredulously, "For one, you made the effort to make the color of blood."

"That's not what I meant to do." I replied, "It just came out like that, but hey. It does, doesn't it?"

On the page of paper, was only black scribbles, oval shaped scribbles. Many scribbles, but different sizes, and on all of those scribbles, I went over them with red. Layering the colors black and red, more red than black, so it made the red darker.

The same color red underneath the scribbles, pooling out from beneath them, but between them was a darker red than they had on them or under them. It was basically just one big mess of black and blood red on one page, but the effort was there.

Carlisle spoke again, "This is what almost everybody else had to draw."

He'd been given another student's picture. Just as a comparison. Laying it beside mine, he looked to me. I recognized it as one of the boy's pictures. This boy sat two rows over from me. His picture was of a horse standing out in a field. Many different colors, but absolutely no black or red. The sky was blue, the sun yellow. The fence and the horse brown, and the grass green.

Boring.

"Do you see the difference?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"His is pretty good." I commented, nodding a little. Carlisle shook his head.

"Look again."

"Uhm.." I trailed off, looking closer, "His grass is crooked?" Now Carlisle knew I was avoiding the answer. I knew what he found concerning, but I didn't find it concerning at all. It was normal to me.

"What are we going to do about this?" He asked quietly, "Leandra, this worries me."

"Why?"

"Is this what you dream about?" He asked, and I bit my lip.

"Sometimes." I admitted, "I can't see them, but I know they're there. I couldn't really draw what else I dream about." He stayed quiet, slowly pulling the pictures back to himself, "That'd just worry him even more, I think."

"Leandra, what do you and the counselor talk about?" He asked, "During your visits?"

"She asks me to tell her what I think about." I grumbled, "I never talk to her anyway, but she doesn't quit trying. All these people worried about what's going on in my head, when they don't even want to know about it, because they just freak out. All I want is to just be left alone. It's none of their business what I think about, or dream about, or draw. It's not their problem."

"Leandra, if you're dreaming or thinking about things like this, that's a sign something is wrong." He explained, and I slowly looked up. I didn't like what he was telling me.

"I'll draw a stupid horse next time." I mumbled, "Maybe then I won't get into trouble."

"You're not in any trouble." He assured me, "We just want to help you. That's all."

"I can't be helped." I told him simply. I sighed, and I knew the more attitude I gave him for this, the more he'd insist on talking about it. So I shrugged a little, "It's fine. I'm used to it."

That only seemed to concern him even more, but he let it go for now. He sighed, standing up.

"Do I have to be there at the conference on Friday?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No, that's only for Esme and I." He replied, and I nodded, "Tomorrow, you'll be staying home." I nodded again, smiling a little as I stood up. That pleased me.

"It's because of the party, isn't it?" I asked, curious.

"I only think it'd be best if you weren't made to interact with hyperactive children." He explained and I laughed a little. The small party for Halloween our grade was having. We'd all meet in the bigger classroom. There was bound to be sugar galore there, and probably kids bouncing off the walls everywhere you looked, so he was right to be worried. If someone annoyed me the wrong way, I'd punch them without another thought. I could do without that, so I'd gladly stay home.

"I'm not complaining." I murmured, "I'd rather stay home for good, but I know I can't. Can I go now?" He nodded and I turned. Leaving the kitchen.

I slept in the next morning, and by the time I came downstairs, it was already ten. I sat down beside Emmett, yawning. He seemed distracted.

"Shorty," He spoke before I could ask him about it, "Let me ask you something." I looked over at him, "What do you think about strangers?"

"Strangers?" I asked, confused.

"People you don't know."

"I hate them." I replied quietly, "You know that."

"Good." He muttered, "Don't forget that." I frowned.

"Why?"

"I watched a movie last night that got me thinking about it." He answered, "That's all." I stayed quiet, laying back. He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side. I whined a little, looking up at him.

"As if she needed any help hating strangers, Emmett." Alice grumbled on her way through the room. I could smell Esme making breakfast, but I knew it wasn't done yet.

"Listen to me, shorty." Emmett's tone had me giving him full attention, "There are people out there you don't want to cross paths with."

"I know."

"They'll tell you anything to make you cooperate." He continued, his tone serious.

"Like Jack."

"Not at all like Jack." He corrected, "No. They won't be mean, or threaten you. These people will tell you anything, so they can steal you. Don't fall for it, shorty."

"Why?" I had to admit, I was getting nervous, "Why would they want to steal me?"

"Because they can." Was his reply, "And I don't want you to go missing. I like you right here."

"I'm not stupid." I reminded him.

"Even if these strangers seem nice." He was confusing the hell out of me, "Even if they seem important, or tell you they're from this place or that place, don't believe them, and definitely don't get into their car until you know for sure."

"I know that." I mumbled, "Emmett-"

"Even if they tell you they know me, or Carlisle, or anyone else you know." He insisted, "They'll tell you they're only doing us a favor, and taking you to us or something like that. Don't fall for it."

"How do I know if you know them or not?" I asked, "I don't know everybody you know."

"Good question." He said, "If you don't remember meeting them, or having one of us introduce them to you, then it's a good chance they're full of it." I frowned in thought, looking down, "I know I would never tell someone to go pluck you up just to bring you home. They could be the most important person in the world, don't trust them." He said, "If it doesn't sit right with you, run away." I nodded, taking a breath.

"No problem." I sat closer to him, nervous now.

That did make me curious, however.

Were there really people out there that would try to steal me? Besides Jack or Ken, I couldn't imagine anyone trying to pull that. I knew Jack, and I knew Ken. I knew to run away from them, but other people? Would I fall for it? Was I that stupid? And why would Emmett tell me this suddenly?

The schools were always bringing it up, about being careful of strangers, or people we didn't know. I never paid any attention to that, because I always, _always_ thought that there would never be anybody worse than Jack, but I sure paid attention now.

"They think I'm being overprotective." He muttered, "But I just want you to be safe."

That stayed on my mind the entire rest of the day. It seemed simple enough. Just ignore anybody I didn't know, but was that completely possible? I was wary of everybody I didn't know, but then again, all it took was someone seeming nice to get me to talk to them.

If someone were to make the effort to get me to talk to them, then it _would_ be possible, and it really wouldn't take much. If everybody knew who Carlisle was back home, I'd imagine it was the same here. All they'd have to do was mention him, and they'd have my attention.

Then my thoughts moved on. What would happen if I did wind up going missing? Would my family be able to find me? Or would they have no clue where to look? Would they even want to try? Would they ever give up?

And if someone was okay with stealing kids, what would they want them for? Were there really worse people than Jack out there? Jack wouldn't steal kids, otherwise he would have already. He just tortured me. Everybody else he left alone.

All these questions circled around in my head repeatedly, and it was all thanks to Emmett, and the one movie he watched the night before that got him thinking about it.

All I knew, was that I was both unnerved, and very curious.

**A/N: Emmett should really know by now that she over-thinks things. A lot.  
I hope you enjoyed this little teensy bit of filler. I really shouldn't be posting filler, though, but I can't help it.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! *Hearts* To you all! :D  
Chapter seven begins with a little exploring. Just a hint.  
Until seven, my friends. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: READ THIS BEFORE YOU PROCEED!:  
Reminder of this story's rating: M  
I've never covered this topic before, so bear with me.  
If you're sensitive to mentions (small mentions, but regardless) of self-harm, proceed with caution. I promise, it's nothing descriptive, but it's in there.  
I did my best to be respectful of my readers, and left the bigger details out. However, I still needed to give you all fair warning.  
I'll be putting a warning before, and after the topic mention, for those who might wish to skip over that area.   
(S) for the start of the mention, and (F) for the end of the mention.**

**Okay. That's all I needed to say.**

**Chapter Seven**

Emmett had to be lying.

Pulling my leg. Just to see how gullible I was.

There couldn't be people out there that would just steal a kid off the street. That was stupid, and it was stupid to almost believe him.

I slid a little on my way down the hill, landing on my butt for a brief moment before pushing myself back up and continuing on for the park. The late afternoon sunlight warming my hair as the breeze took it slightly, I ducked under the small rope fence, looking around the deserted park. My thin jacket was just enough to keep the chilly air from biting as I wandered further than I had before.

Passed the swings, and the play area. Further into the park, along the path, nervously looking around. I hadn't done this yet, wandering. I'd always been too nervous, too chicken to go far from my family's side, but now I was starting to see what Rosalie told me.

The world was bigger than staying home all the time.

This wasn't so bad. As long as everyone else stayed away from me, I could handle this. I was getting a taste for freedom, and it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would.

Esme had told me not to leave the park, but part of me, a more adventurous part of me, wondered if she would even know if I did. Before I even knew what I was doing, I tested that. I'd crossed the park, to the town side of the large park, and looked back. I couldn't even see the house anymore, the trees in the way.

One step, I told myself. I placed my foot on the concrete of the sidewalk outside the grassy park, smiling a little. Nothing bad happened. I wasn't killed, or set on fire. I was just standing on the sidewalk.

And I got walking.

This part of town was busier than I thought it'd be. The traffic in the street going by pretty fast, so I made sure to keep to the right side of the sidewalk as I walked up the street. I looked up and around as I walked, now and then glancing down to make sure I wasn't about to trip over something.

I came to the corner of the street, and slowed as I neared a group waiting to cross the street. I wasn't sure if I should go that far, but I moved as they moved, following them. Careful not to fall behind.

It was amazing to me. Out here, like this, I wasn't angry. I wasn't mean. Out here, walking this way, I could almost pass as human. I never thought that was possible. Not ever. Why was that? Maybe because now, it was my choice? Curiosity had gotten the better of me, instead of socializing being Carlisle's idea?

I could feel it, though. The ability to snap at any given moment. Like it had always been there, so that wasn't completely gone. Any second now, I told myself, I'd give up, and I'd run home. Any second now.

After about ten minutes of walking like this, telling myself I'd run away any second, I came across a small store. I wasn't even sure what made me curious about it, as I'd passed countless others like it. It sat on the corner of two busy streets, and it just seemed unique, so I decided to walk in.

Why, I didn't know, but I did.

Pulling open the door, it jingled quietly and I glanced up at the small bell on the door. Smiling a little as I looked to the left. Finding the rows of shelves, holding products for sale. It was a convenience store. One of those places that sold everyday stuff someone might need. Along the back wall, was a row of five or six clear-doored refrigerators.

I figured as long as I was here, I might as well get a bottle of water or something. I was pretty thirsty. On my way back toward the front with my bottle of water freezing in my hand, I passed an aisle that gained my interest instead. Stopping, I peered at it.

Every day, I was always given too much money for lunch. I had a lot left over at the end of every day, so I had a lot saved up. With twenty bucks in my pocket, that opened a lot of opportunities to buy whatever I wanted from this aisle stocked full of candy.

So I stepped over, into the aisle and looked around.

I was never the type of kid to have a lot of experience when it came to candy, so this was a big decision, and I took my time. Picking something up, and putting it back, before picking something else up. I couldn't decide.

"Need help?" I jumped at the voice of someone behind me. Turning sharply with a quiet yelp, I looked up and met the steely dark gray eyes of an older boy. His jet black hair fell almost untidily into his eyes, but was still somehow swept back, and he smiled a little, "Didn't mean to scare ya, kid. Was just asking, because you seem lost."

He obviously worked here, given the thin, light blue vest he wore over his t-shirt. Shyly, I tucked my hair behind my ear. Just because it was in my eyes, and it was bugging me.

"No, thank you." I mumbled, scanning the shelves again, "I'm fine." What was it I was looking for? Making a quick decision, I chose a bag of hard, fruity candy. Just to get out of there.

"Good choice." The boy said, following me back toward the register, "That it for you?"

"That's it." I answered quietly as he stepped around the counter. Giving me another smile as he scanned both items, "I wasn't going to steal anything."

"Oh, I know." He nodded, "Because I was watching you. Three bucks." I rolled my eyes a little bit, gave him the money with a sigh, "You know. Can't be too careful. Kids these days." I didn't bother replying, gazing at his name tag.

It wasn't a very popular name, one I had never heard before.

He held out the bag of items, along with my receipt. I reached for the bag, but he paused, "What are you doing buying candy, kid? It's Halloween."

"So?" I asked quietly as he let me pull the bag to myself.

He shrugged a little, "There you go." He smiled lightly, "Have a fantastic day." He could probably tell how much I didn't like him. Being honest with myself, it wasn't so much that I didn't like him. He just made me blush in a weird way, and I didn't like that.

"Thanks." I replied almost silently, "You too."

I scooted from the store, listening to the door jingle closed behind me. I stepped along the building, away from the door, but stopped a little ways from it. Wishing my heart would slow down. I blamed it on being startled, and pulled out my bottle of water. I stood there for several minutes. Debating whether or not to go back in there and tell him off for scaring me, but after enough time had passed, I knew it'd be stupid to do that.

I felt stupid anyway as just a few minutes after that, he stepped out. Distracted by locking the door behind him, he didn't notice me right away. I stood there, debating running off, but I waited, and he finally looked up. Given his expression, he had been slightly startled by someone standing there.

Ha, I thought bitterly. Now we're even.

"What are you still doing here?" He chuckled, recovering.

"Standing." I answered sarcastically, and he smirked.

"Cute." He laughed, nodding, "Where are your parents?"

"At home, and at work." I replied honestly this time, and he looked around himself, dropping his keys into his pocket.

"Shouldn't you be with them?" He asked, "A kid like you running around town by yourself?" I raised an eyebrow.

"A kid like me?" I asked in return, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What are you? Seven?" He asked, obviously entertained.

"Ten, thank you." I snapped, "And you're an asshole." That really made him laugh, which only pissed me off even more.

I turned, fully intending to storm away. I only managed one step off the sidewalk, until he was suddenly yanking me back, out of the way of a car one split second away from hitting me.

"Pay attention, kid." He told me, letting me struggle from his grip. I stood there, glaring up at him for a few seconds. Surprised, he shook it off as he mockingly returned my glare, "You're welcome. Didn't your mom ever teach you not to give looks like that?"

"No." I muttered, finally glaring away from him. He chuckled, sighing.

"Alright." He said, lightly leading me forward, "Come on." I followed him, not even sure why. He crossed the street with me, walking with me.

The daylight had faded significantly while I wasted time, and the streetlights had come on while we were talking, just after dark now. We walked in silence for several minutes, now and then I glanced up at him.

This boy had been the absolute only person to even notice I was alive, so Emmett had been wrong. Unless this boy was trying to steal me? Doubtful, but I was suspicious.

"What's your name?" He asked me eventually, "And where do you live?"

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." I answered, knowing full well I was being a smart-ass. He accepted that with a light chuckle, "And I live behind the park."

"You live in the park?" He asked incredulously, "This park?" He gestured to the park I'd stopped outside of. Stopping with me, he looked down at me.

"Behind the park." I clarified, "Pay attention."

"Leandra." I turned, looking behind me at Jasper's call, spotting both him and Emmett striding over. It was dark back that way, and I could barely see them. Since it was after dark, they were free to come hunt me down. Oops.

"Uh." I looked back up at the boy, "I gotta go."

I turned, running off to meet them. Confused, he watched after me.

I met Jasper and Emmett quite a distance away, grabbing onto each of their wrists and tugging back the other direction.

"Who was that?" Emmett demanded, not budging. Watching as the boy turned, walking away.

"Nobody." I muttered innocently, "Let's go home-" I squeaked as Emmett lifted me easily, and started to follow the boy. Leaving the park, and started up the sidewalk.

"Hey." Emmett called, and the boy turned, "A word?"

"Leave it alone." I muttered to him.

"Sure." The boy replied, "A word. You should probably keep tabs on her." The boy gathered that I obviously knew both of these guys, so he knew it was okay to address the issue. Right here. Now. Not at all intimidated by Emmett's size.

"Really?" Emmett asked in return, slightly amused, "Any particular reason why? Or just in general?" He looked to me now.

"At very least, teach her when it's safe to cross a street. Had I not been there, she'd have been roadkill." I looked down now as both Emmett and Jasper's eyes landed on me, "I couldn't just let her walk back alone, so I walked with her this far."

"That true, shorty?" Emmett asked, and sheepishly, I nodded.

"Well, thank you." Jasper told him now, "For keeping an eye on her. She wasn't supposed to leave the park." I heard the quiet scold in his voice, flinching slightly.

"Ah, an escapee." The boy chuckled, "I know that move well. I've got a little sister just like her at home, and let me tell you. That never gets old for them. My suggestion, a leash. That'd do wonders." I knew he was joking. I wasn't sure how I knew that, but I just knew, "Well, she's fine. Don't worry about a thing."

"Thank you again." Jasper nodded, but his eyes were on me.

"Not a problem." The boy smiled, "Have a good night, Leandra." I smiled as he said that, and he chuckled. Turning to leave again.

"Hey, wait." I called, and he turned once more, "What's your name?" I read it before, but I wasn't sure how to pronounce it.

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." He told me, and I glared a little. He returned my glare lightly, before chuckling, "Keep making that face, it'll get stuck like that." My glare instantly left my face, "That's better. You look a lot friendlier when you smile. Smile, princess." He gave me another smile, and I had to return it.

He laughed a little and he continued on. Emmett sighed and turned, heading back toward home. I watched after the boy, though. What was it about him that made it so hard to breathe?

"He's too old for you." Jasper murmured, taking my attention.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"You heard me." Was his only reply, a tiny smirk on his face.

"Too old for me for what?" I was honestly confused. He shook his head, refusing to explain. I looked back again, but couldn't see him anymore.

We crossed the dark park in silence, Emmett carrying me the entire way. Up the hill easily, and I was gently dropped on the other side of the wall, back inside the yard.

"Brace yourself." Jasper finally spoke again, opening the door for me. I stepped inside and was instantly lifted, hugged tightly. I squeaked in surprise, returning Esme's hug.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" She asked, pulling back and looking at me. I blinked in surprise, caught so far off guard, I didn't know how to get back to it.

"She's fine." Emmett assured her as he closed the door behind himself, "She just went wandering a little too far."

"Leandra," Esme gasped, "You can't do that. You can't just wander off like that. Especially when we tell you to stay within sight."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, still surprised, "I'm fine."

"I'm off." Jasper sighed, "I'll be home later." He started from the room. Pointing to me briefly on his way by, he spoke again, "He's still too old for you."

"Stop saying that." I called back, annoyed, "I don't even know what it means." I could just hear his chuckle.

"What was that?" Esme asked, watching as I sat down with a sigh. Placing my bag on the table in front of me.

"Nothing." I mumbled, pulling out the bag of candy I bought. I felt watched, awkwardly laying my arms on the table in front of me, "I think a mosquito bit me." I scratched lightly at the small pink bump on the back of my wrist.

"Changing the subject, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I looked up.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

Emmett shook his head, leaving the room with a laugh as well. Esme sighed, probably calming down now that I was seated in front of her as I opened the small bag of candy, pulling out a piece.

"Not too much before dinner." She said, gesturing to the bag and I nodded, "At very least, please tell me where you're going next time. I haven't been that worried since April."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I wasn't planning on leaving." Lie.

"Am I still overprotective?" Emmett called from the living room.

"I didn't go far." I continued, ignoring him, "I'll be careful." She sighed, giving me a look but I knew she wasn't mad at me, because I offered a sheepish smile, and she returned it. Leaning down, she briefly kissed my forehead.

"Don't scare us like that." I knew then she'd let it go. Alice joined us in the kitchen as Esme moved, starting to put dinner together for me.

"Esme?" I asked hesitantly, and she looked back, "I know it's stupid to ask this right now. I wanna let her know tomorrow, but.. Um.. Can Alyssa come over this weekend?"

She sighed, as if this was a really tough decision.

"For the afternoon, or is she staying the night?" I smiled a little.

"The night?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'll think about it." She was trying so hard to stay mad. I laughed a little, looking over at Alice beside me. She gave me a confident smile, and a small nod.

"Thank you." I grinned, and for a moment, Esme seemed slightly annoyed, but that faded as she laughed.

I knew what that would mean for them, but acting human for a night wouldn't kill them. They'd have to pretend to sleep, but I was sure they could use the break too.

I found Alyssa the next morning, standing there with her little brother outside the open gate, leading into the school.

She saw me coming, and she smiled.

"Where were you yesterday?" She asked as I hopped to her side.

"They said yes." I told her instead of answering her question, and immediately she squeaked in happiness, hugging me, "Now you just have to ask your parents. They wouldn't have to take you, because I get picked up from school anyway, so you can just get a ride with me."

"That'd help." She nodded, "I'll ask my dad tonight."

She couldn't ask until that night, and I hadn't thought to get her phone number, so all Wednesday night I was bugged by it. Until finally Thursday, she told me that she'd gotten permission.

I didn't know why I looked forward to this so much, but I did. I couldn't wait. Even if she did annoy me with her stupid crush, I didn't care. Even Josh and Zack had never been to my house before. I'd never had anybody over. I'd never really wanted friends over before.

Friday afternoon took forever to get there, and I was surprised that it was Carlisle to pick us up. He'd been so busy lately. Instead of the front seat, I climbed into the backseat with her. She greeted Carlisle politely, thanking him for allowing her to come over.

She seemed intimidated by the size of the house at first, though, standing outside of it, clutching her backpack to her as I climbed out behind her. In her backpack was a set of pajamas and extra jeans. She'd brought them to school, just because it was easier that way.

"It's okay." I told her, laughing a little, "Come on."

"How big did you say your family was?" She whimpered behind me as I led her to the door.

"It's not as big as your family." I replied, pushing the door open.

The introductions went well, and that made it better.

Having Alice and Esme there seemed to helped her breathe while seeing Emmett again, and meeting Jasper. Like some sort of balance. Rose was her intimidating self, but I told her before we even got there not to mind her.

Esme seemed only too pleased to meet her. Borderline embarrassing, but I knew better. The fact that she approved of Alyssa made me happy.

I led her upstairs to my room, and she looked around. Her eyes wide.

"This is your room?"

"Yup." I replied, setting my bag down, "You can put your stuff anywhere." She slowly, almost uncertainly laid her backpack down beside the dresser, "What's wrong?"

"I've never seen a room this big before." She replied, and I smiled a little, sitting down on my bed.

"It gets lonely sometimes." I admitted quietly, hoping that made it less amazing.

"I bet." She nodded a little, "You don't have any brothers or sisters your age, huh?"

"Nope." I said, "It's just me."

"Just you?" She found that funny, "Don't you ever get bored?"

"Not really." I said, "Emmett keeps me company. He's like a big kid. Alice does too, but Emmett doesn't insist on fixing my hair."

"What are you talking about?" She laughed, "I'd love an older sister. You don't even know."

"Brothers are just as fun." I pointed out, "At least in Emmett's case, but then again, I'm not really a girly-girl."

"Neither am I, but it'd still be nice." She flopped back, with a sigh. We were quiet for a second, until she rolled over and propped her head up on her elbow, "So you're telling me that even though you're not related to them, you don't think they're even a little cute?"

"Stop it." I rolled my eyes and she laughed. If she only knew they could hear her every word. If she knew, she'd shut up pronto.

"Not even a little?" She held her fingers up, and I laughed a little at her expression.

"No." I said, "Not even a little."

"Okay, so not them, but isn't there anyone you've got a crush on?" She asked, letting her hand drop.

"Nope." I mumbled, and she flopped back down.

"Not even Alex?"

"No." I told her, disgust in my tone, "Ew."

"I can't blame you, I guess." She laughed, "What about.. Justin? You know, that brown haired kid in our class? He's always looking at you."

"Nope."

"Tommy?"

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head.

"Ethan?" She asked, "Even I like him a little."

"Nope."

"Come on." She whined, "Even my little sister gets crushes."

"She's five." I muttered, surprised.

"She still does." She countered, "It's funny to hear how much she loves some boy in her class. Different one every week, I swear."

"That's weird." I commented, shaking my head.

"Is there something wrong with you?" She poked my head, and I swatted at her hand, "Maybe you're broken."

"I know I am." I told her, "Doesn't mean I have to like somebody."

"I'll fix you one of these days." She glared a little, and I sighed, flopping a pillow over her head. She laughed, grabbing it, "No fair."

She was quiet for a second as she studied me.

"Maybe you just don't like boys?" She suggested.

"What?" That shocked me, "I don't even-"

"Nothing wrong if you like girls." She shrugged, and I about died where I sat, "Jamie likes girls. She told me awhile ago."

"No." I said, stunned, "No, no. That's not it."

"Okay, so that's not it." She mused, "Maybe you just haven't met the right kind of boy? Maybe you're picky."

"Sure." I mumbled, "That's definitely it."

"What kind of boys do you like?" She asked, sitting up.

"I don't know." I sighed, slightly irritated, "Aren't they all the same?"

"Nope. Not even close." She said immediately. She sighed a laugh, "You have a lot to learn, my friend. And I'm gonna teach you."

"You really don't have to." I said, standing up. Stepping across the room, I remembered my candy supply was horribly depleted. I'd have to get more if I was going to survive the night. I pursed my lips, and thought about the boy at the store I met earlier in the week. I frowned a little, looking back at Alyssa.

"What?" She asked, thinking something was wrong.

"You wanna see if we can go for a walk?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Sure."

Esme was hesitant, as the afternoon was still bright.

"We'll go there, and come right back. I know right where it's at." I didn't want to mention that there were other stores like it closer. I had no doubt they knew, but they didn't say anything, and I had no doubt they knew. I only wanted to go see that boy. I wanted to show him to Alyssa, just so I knew I wasn't crazy.

I couldn't deny it, though. They looked alike. Their black hair, and though his eyes, from what I remembered, were darker than hers, I could recall a big similarity.

With an eventual okay, we left. Leaving through the back door, we climbed over the fence. Her eyes lit up as she saw the steep grassy hill.

"Wait." She said as I went to start my way down, "Like this."

I watched, confused as she laid down flat on her back on the grass, and tucked her arms to her chest. I watched her roll, gaining speed as she quickly tumbled down the hill like a barrel.

I was tempted to try it, but I was too scared, so I followed her at a much slower pace. Letting her dizziness fade by the time I got to her at the bottom of the hill, right outside the park.

"You're crazy." I laughed, helping her to her feet. She just laughed.

"You have to try that sometime." She told me, "You live on such a great hill."

"I know." I laughed a little as we started through the park. My smile faded, and I thought. Curious, I spoke again, "Tell me about your family."

She frowned a little, "What do you want to know? You already know that I have four brothers, and one sister." She answered, and I nodded a little.

"Real, or adopted?"

"Real." She said, looking around.

"Do you live in a huge house?" I had to ask.

"Not really." She shook her head, "No, my daddy's job don't let him afford much, but that's okay. Mama works too, but she's always gone. Emily and me share a room with one of the boys, just for more space for the other boys in the other room. There's only three bedrooms, and ours is the smallest." I frowned.

"Wow." I murmured, "That must really suck." Now I knew why she was so amazed by where I lived, and my bedroom.

"Nah." She said, "We're all pretty close. The the oldest out of all of us, he's almost eighteen, and he dropped out of school so he could work with daddy at his job." I listened, intently interested, watching as she smiled, "The second oldest of us is my favorite. He's sixteen. He sort of watches out for all of us. Takes care of us, and he makes sure we know it. He works too, but he still goes to school. The third oldest, he's only thirteen, but he's already following daddy around like he's trying to prove something. I just know he's gonna be another Jonathan." That must have been her oldest brother, considering how that seemed to bother her, "Then there's me. You know Alex, and Emily is five."

"What's it like being an older sister?"

"It's tough." She nodded a little, "I mean, there isn't a lot I can get to do at home, because there are others even older than me, and they're sort of boss." I nodded in understanding, "But there are some things I can do. I smack the younger ones around sometimes, and stick up for them at school. We fight sometimes, but we're always together."

She seemed happy to be able to talk about this. Like she never got enough attention from anybody.

"Just.." I paused, "Curious, what are your brother's names?"

"Why?" She asked, laughing a little.

"Just curious." I repeated, "I want to know."

We had crossed the park in no time it seemed, and we'd started up the street. Crossing with everybody else, she finally looked up and around.

"Wait." She mumbled instead of answering, "I know where we are." I looked over at her, "I didn't notice it before, but yeah. I know right where we are, and if I'm right," She grew the widest grin I think I'd ever seen her have, "He'll be there."

"Who?" I asked, and she laughed.

"My brother." She said, "I want you to meet him." Could this be the same guy? I almost stopped walking as she led the way now, straight for the store I'd been in a week ago. Had I been right?

I wasn't so sure now, but seeing me slow down, she just took my arm and led me forward. She never lost her grin, pulling open the door for me and practically shoving me through it. Following me closely enough to keep pushing me forward.

"Alyssa?" It was definitely him, "What are you doing here?"

"This is your brother?" I asked her, and she grinned. Ignoring my question.

"Remember my friend from school?" She asked the boy, smiling over at me.

"This is her?" He laughed, "Well, nice to see you again, Leandra."

"She blushes!" Alyssa laughed, and I rolled my eyes. Turning to step into the candy aisle. Listening to her talk to him behind me, "I've never seen her blush before."

"No, I don't." I corrected sharply.

"You blushed last time too." He told me, and I scoffed. I was still trying to get used to the idea. This was her brother. Why was that so hard to believe? Maybe because I knew her long before I met him? That didn't make it seem so weird.

"Leandra, this is Mikah." Alyssa finally said with a quiet giggle, "My brother."

"I'm still not going to steal anything." I grumbled, and I knew he heard me, "Alyssa, what kind do you want?" She jogged over to my side, "Any kind."

"Hmm." She scanned the shelves, unable to really decide like I'd been undecided the other day.

"This one." She suddenly said, grabbing a bag at the same time. I laughed a little at her enthusiasm, and nodded. Grabbing something else, I walked over to the register with her.

We actually wound up staying for a few minutes. I was trying so hard to figure this out, but though I never had any sort of familiarity with Alyssa, I felt it with Mikah. Mikah. That was his name.

I leaned on the counter, as Alyssa sat on it. Since there weren't any other customers, we could do that. I tried to be discreet about how I studied him, but a few times he caught me, and I had to look down.

"Hey." Alyssa suddenly perked up, "Wanna see my house, Leandra? It's like four blocks-"

"No, Aly." Mikah spoke up, "Dad's there." And that suddenly smashed her enthusiasm. She grew worried, which worried me.

"Who's watching Em?" She asked.

"She'll be alright." He told her, "Don't worry so much about her. Just have fun tonight, okay? I'll get home after seven. Like I usually do."

"But seven is still an hour and a half away."

"She'll be alright." He repeated, "You're too young to be such a mom. Now you guys better scoot before it gets dark. I don't want that big brother beating me down."

"Emmett's nice." Alyssa told him before I could, "Isn't he?"

I nodded, "All I'd have to tell him is that you're her brother, and he'd calm down. Maybe." I added that last word on, hoping to scare him a little. From his expression, it worked.

"Come on." I urged Alyssa, and she sighed heavily. Hopping down from her seat on the counter, I took the bag in my hand and led her from the store.

"See you later, guys." Mikah called after us, and I glanced back. One last look, before following Alyssa outside. She started off back in the direction of the park, but I waited. She looked back at me, frowning in confusion.

"Let's go check on her." I suggested, and she jumped at the mention. Following the sidewalk up the street. I knew I'd get into trouble, but I wanted to ease her worries.

It didn't take long to get to her house from the store, easily within walking distance. She lived on a street with each side packed with what looked like different colored brick townhouses. Thin, compact two story houses packed together, and what looked like a larger apartment building down at the other end of the street, made from the same brick as these buildings were.

She led me to the right one, and up the three front steps from the sidewalk. Up the walk, and up the three more steps onto the porch. Nervously, I followed. She seemed nervous too, giving me a look that told me so, before pushing open the door.

Immediately, I heard the sound of kids arguing to the left of the entryway. Straight ahead of us as we walked in were the stairs, and a thin hallway to the left of the stairs that led to the back of the house. My first thought of the place was cramped. Crowded, and I hadn't even left the front door yet.

She turned, letting me in the door and closed it behind her.

"Come on." She muttered quietly, leading me to the left. Through a wide open doorway, was the living room. Crowded with only a few pieces of furniture, and a small TV on in the corner.

Alex stood there arguing with a tiny girl. This girl had raven black hair, just like Alyssa's. This must be Emily. Apparently, by the sounds of their arguing, Alex was stupid and Emily was a moron.

"Knock it off." Alyssa's voice took their attention instantly, and Emily grinned. She hugged onto her younger sister as Emily crossed the room, coming to her side, "Are you doing alright?"

"Why do you always ask me that?" Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm tough, remember?"

"So tough." Alyssa replied sarcastically, "Emily, this is Leandra. My friend I told you about." She smiled up at me in greeting, as if nothing in the world was wrong. I smiled back a little, hoping she kept her distance.

I was seeing plenty of things wrong here. The place was practically falling apart. It looked so sad. It reminded me a lot of the trailer I grew up in, but that was only me living there. Well, me, Jack, and my mom. I couldn't imagine five others there with me.

"Dad yelled at her earlier." Alex reported, sighing, "Wasn't that bad, and she deserved it." That took my full attention, and I looked to Alyssa. I was standing back, observing the way I usually did. Compiling a list of questions in my head that I'd ask her later.

"He upstairs?" Alyssa asked, glancing up as if she could see through the floor. Seeing Alyssa standing there, hugging Emily tight to her made me sad. I didn't understand why.

"No, he's out back with Sammy." Alex replied, "Off early, you know how it goes." Alyssa sighed, nodding, "Aren't you 'sposed to be gone for the night?"

"I had to check on you guys." She said, "Somebody's gotta, and Mikah's working until seven."

"Jon's out at work, too." Alex said, and she nodded.

"I knew that, stupid. Mom's still gone too, isn't she?" Alex nodded, answering her.

"When isn't she?" He asked in return, "I'll look out for Em. You two better _scoot_ before he comes back in and finds out you're here. He'll be pissed."

"Okay." She sighed, kissing Emily on the top of her head, "Be nice to each other. Watch a movie or something. Don't stay up too late. Bed before ten."

"Yeah, yeah." Alex sighed, pulling Emily away from Alyssa's side.

"I mean it." She said, "Or you two will sleep all day tomorrow. And take a bath, because you smell like butt."

Thankfully, we made a clean get-away before we got caught, and started back in the direction we needed to go. It was clear to me that she hated leaving them.

"Alyssa," I finally spoke once we'd rounded the corner, "What are your parents like?" She stayed quiet, glancing to me.

"Let's hurry." She said, "I don't want to get you into trouble."

As it turned out, I was already in trouble when we got home. For not coming right back when I said I would. I couldn't think of a convincing enough lie to tell Esme, so I just kept quiet.

Thankfully, Alyssa explained exactly what happened, and that seemed to help a little.

"I didn't mean to get her into trouble." Alyssa told Esme, "I just had to check on them. It was real close, so thought it'd be faster, but I guess I was wrong. She was with me the _whole_ time, I swear, and I know my way around there, so she couldn't have gotten lost. I swear, though. I wasn't trying to get her in trouble. Honest. I'm really sorry."

Esme sighed, but nodded. Maybe it had something to do with the way Alyssa was nearly in tears, or the way I looked sadly up at Esme, but I wasn't sure.

Alyssa and I sat in the living room, watching TV for awhile as Esme prepared a light dinner. I couldn't stop thinking about her house.

"I wanna know." I muttered to her, and she kept her eyes on the TV.

"Later." She replied after a minute, and I nodded.

Alyssa didn't think anything of us eating by ourselves. Distracted now, and probably fully aware of how I glanced to her now and then. She probably knew what I was thinking now, and she wouldn't be wrong.

Once we finished dinner, I suggested we go out back. Just to talk with a hint of a chance of nobody listening in. It wasn't their fault they could hear so well, but I had a feeling whatever Alyssa would tell me would be private. I wanted her to trust me.

We stepped out back, and we both climbed over the wall, and sat on the other side of the wall, watching the park in the evening light. Maybe that would just be enough to keep my family from involuntarily hearing anything. I could only hope.

We just sat out there for several minutes, watching the daylight fading even more.

"Leandra?" Esme called out behind us.

"We're still here." I called back, "We're not going anywhere." I was waiting for that. Maybe if she knew we had no intentions of leaving this spot, she wouldn't listen in.

"Alright." She replied, "Don't stay out here too long." Bingo. She'd leave us alone. Maybe listening for key words like, 'Let's go' or something, but that would be it. She was usually good at leaving me when I wanted to be alone.

"So?" I prompted quietly, "What's going on there?"

"Mom's gone a lot." She finally said in almost a whisper, "She comes back now and then, but when she does come back, she's always drunk." I looked down, "She's not very nice when she's like that. Daddy, he tries, and he's there a lot more than she is, but he gets mad. A lot, and he yells. A lot. He doesn't mean to, I know that, but it's hard."

She paused, looking down at her feet braced against the hill.

"Mikah tells us he's under a lot of stress, with all of us to raise." I nodded a little, "Jon helps, and so does Mikah. They do what they can, but the rest of us are too young to get jobs, and I know enough to know that what all of them make isn't enough sometimes. They fight a lot, my mom and dad, and Mikah tells us to always stay out of the way when they do that."

"You should." I nodded a little, "Grown-ups don't think when they're mad at each other."

"I know." She nodded too, "It's not even mom I'm worried about. I hate her. I just hate the way he yells."

"I know how that feels." I admitted, nodding a little.

"I hate it, even when he's not yelling at me." She looked over, "You know? Just the sound of it at all. Sometimes I think about what he'd be like if he wasn't so stressed out all the time. He always says he's sorry, whenever he hits one of us, but-"

"Wait." I looked over at her, "He hits you?"

"Sometimes." She admitted quietly, "But you can't tell anyone, okay? It's not that bad. Really, it's not."

"Alyssa-"

"It's not that bad, I mean how often have you seen me with bruises?" And I thought about it. The only bruise I remember ever seeing on her, was the one on her arm. But then again, I remembered how often and how far I went to hide my own bruises. I'd seen any other than the hint of one on her arm, but I hadn't looked in the tell-tale spots.

"I don't have any from him. Like I said, he doesn't mean to, and normally, he doesn't. It's only now and then." There was something more there. I knew it, and I usually wasn't one to play down my instincts.

"I still think-"

"I mean it." I recognized instantly the tone of fear in her voice, "Please."

"Why?" I asked quietly, "Why won't you want to tell someone?"

"Because." She shrugged with a sigh, "If anyone knows about that, they'll take him, and they'll take us because he's gone. Jon says they'll split us all up, and we'll all go to different homes. I don't want that. I never wanted that."

I could understand her worry now. I sighed, shaking my head a little. I didn't like it, but I couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been for me to admit anything if I would have had to worry about a younger sibling getting sent away too.

"Okay." I mumbled, "I won't tell, but you have to promise me that you'll tell me if he does it again, okay?"

"I promise." She nodded, sighing. I could only hope nobody inside heard that.

"Is that what happened to Alex's eye?" I asked, and she looked over, "After I came back, I noticed one of his bruises wasn't one I caused."

"You noticed that?" She asked, and I nodded.

"I know how to hit, and I know what bruises look like." I admitted quietly, "I never hit him that way." She paused, nodding at my explanation.

"No." She said, "That was mom. Alex pushed her for pushing Em, and he shouldn't have done that. Mikah wasn't there when that happened. It was an accident." Right.

I sighed.

Both parents.

"Well," I mumbled, "Do you have another relative to live with? One that could take three of you?"

"No." She mumbled, "It's just us. Mikah says when he moves out, he's taking us with him, but that's not for another year at least, and even then, there's no guarantee he can keep us."

We fell quiet for a minute. My head was spinning. I had no idea, but it certainly explained how quickly I took to her. She was more like me than I thought.

"Now you." She urged, and I looked over, "I told you my story, now what's yours?"

"You really don't want to know that." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"It's only fair."

"No," I said, "It's not that I don't want to tell you. I don't want to scare you."

"Scare me?" She frowned, "Is it really that bad?" I nodded a little, and she tilted her head a little, "Well, come on. I'm not that fragile."

"I just.." I paused, "I don't talk about it."

"Why not?" She asked, "Isn't that what they always say? Talking about it helps."

"I don't see how." I sighed, standing up. I climbed back over the wall, landing back in the yard. I wasn't worried about them hearing anymore. They already knew my story, so it was no big deal.

"Um." She hopped down beside me, "Maybe knowing someone's gonna listen? Duh."

"Maybe later." I sighed, "Let's go back inside. I'm getting cold."

"Sure." She mumbled, and I knew she wouldn't press. She had to know how hard it was for me to even mention.

Esme acted as if nothing at all was wrong, and I eased. She acted like she never heard what Alyssa had told me, so I could breathe. The last thing I needed was for one of them to blab, and her blame me for telling. I couldn't tell her the truth.

Somehow, my hair was done before eight that night. I was still confused as to how I agreed to it, but there it was. Braided pig-tails, courtesy of Alice who spent time with us in my room. I hated them with a passion, but it kept my hair from my face. Which was a big plus, at least.

They still annoyed the living hell out of me, however.

Alice and Alyssa both chatted about boys, and my apparent lack of interest in them, which also annoyed me, but I figured why bug them? If it meant Alyssa could both relax from her time at her house, and experience what it was like to have an older sister, I'd keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't spoil it for her, or for Alice, who had more of a girly little sister for the night.

Alice eventually left us with a smile, saying how late it was. I smiled a little up at her.

Now alone, and with a small pile of candy in front of us, we started talking. I still wasn't used to eating much candy, so Alyssa had more than I did at first. I hoped she wouldn't bring up the previous subject again, but I should have known better.

"So.." She hesitated, "I heard you got into some trouble on Tuesday."

I frowned, "How'd-" I cut myself off, and she laughed a little, "Right. Mikah."

"You really shouldn't wander off." I gave her a look, and we both laughed, "Really, though. When he told me about it, I didn't know it was you he was talking about. I thought it someone else, because he never named names."

"Nobody finds trouble like me, I guess." I shrugged a little.

"Speaking of which." She muttered, unwrapping another piece of candy, "You still have to tell me." I sighed, flattening out my own wrapper on the floor in front of me. Well, I figured, she would need an explanation for why I freaked out during the night.

But _telling_ her, though. I whined, falling back. Thumping my head a little on the floor.

"Come on." She said, "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"You can't even imagine." I murmured, staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you so afraid of?" She asked, crawling over and sitting beside me.

"I don't know." I admitted, sighing, "I just.. It's a lot."

"So was mine." She reasoned.

"Not like this." I said, "Trust me."

"It's worse?"

"That's what I'm saying." Her eyes widened a little, and she bit her lip.

"But you said your daddy never hit you."

"He didn't." I countered, and she frowned. More confused, until I spoke again, "My stepdad did. Everyday. Every chance he got." I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see her expression, "And he didn't just hit me. He beat me."

"What's the difference?"

"Well." I sighed, sitting up. I knew she was just curious, "Hitting is usually once or twice. A smack here or there, right?" She waited, "Beating is where they hit you as hard as they can, over and over, and they don't stop until they're tired." Her eyes widened even more, "That's what he did."

"Oh." She muttered, "I didn't know that. I didn't think there was a difference."

"Yeah." I said, "There's a difference. A big difference."

"Getting hit isn't as bad as being beaten." She murmured, and I shook my head. She nodded, and looked down. I sensed the increased tension, and looked closer.

"So." She continued before I could look too close, "Then what happened?" She asked, "Is there a reason why you got taken away?"

"Someone found out," I murmured, refusing to go into too much detail, "And that's it."

"Did you have a choice?"

"No." I said, "I mean, I tried to deny it, but I couldn't for very long. That's a long story there."

"And um.." She hesitated, looking down at her hands, "When he'd beat you, would you ever bleed?"

"All the time." I muttered, "Sometimes where he'd hit would split the skin. Why?"

"And instead of just a bruise, you got something like-"

"A welt?" I suggested, and she nodded wordlessly. I narrowed my eyes. Piecing it together, I realized what she was telling me, "You lied. Earlier."

"I didn't mean to." She mumbled, "I really didn't know there was a difference." I felt like concrete had just balled in my stomach. She wasn't only getting hit, but beaten? I would have been so sure I would have known what to look for, but she was so different.

"Okay." I mumbled in return, "It's okay."

"You're not mad?"

"No." I said, "I'm not mad. I'm just.. Let's just.. I don't know what to do." I obviously didn't know what to say, either. This was hard to process.

"You can't tell." She said, "You promised."

"That was before." I said, and she shook her head.

"You still promised." She said, "Leandra, I can't lose my brother and sister. They need me." I whined, hesitant now.

"At least let me see." I mumbled, kneeling up and grabbing her arm. Ignoring her quiet protests, I raised the sleeve of her sweater.

** (S) **

I was attempting to see her upper arm, where I'd always had to be sure welts were covered too. Over her forearm, though, I found something else instead. I paused, looking at it.

Just like her other arm, but much fresher, were four or five thin, scratch-like cuts in her skin, but all in one row. They were small, not at all worth worrying over, but it confused me. Up high on her forearm, near her elbow.

She stopped struggling, waiting. Watching as I looked up, meeting her eyes.

"What happened?" I asked, finally letting her pull her arm back to herself. Kneeling back, I studied her. Even when Jack would cut my skin, it would be a lot deeper, and not anywhere neat like that.

I still had one scar from a cut he'd given me years ago. It went from the top of my shoulder, all the way down to the middle of my back. That had been an accident, as he didn't mean to cut that far, but I moved wrong at the wrong moment, and he slipped.

Alyssa's were little. Maybe an inch, or inch and a half if that.

"Nothing." She said, shrugging. She was probably worried about me telling about those too, though I had no idea what caused them.

"Don't lie." I requested quietly, "Alyssa, what is that? I've never seen anything like that."

Hearing only my curiosity, she bit her lip and raised her sleeve even more. To give me a better look.

"Sometimes it helps." She mumbled, "Mikah used to do it sometimes. When he was a lot younger. My age, maybe younger. I remember seeing him, but I never got why. Now I do."

"Wait, like.." I paused, "To yourself?" She nodded a little, "Why?"

"I don't know." She said, "It just helps."

"I don't get it." I told her, "But I won't say anything." She sighed, nodding, "Doesn't that hurt?"

"A little, but not as bad as you would think." She said, which reminded me.

** (F) **

I thought back to what I was looking for when I raised her sleeve.

I turned her around, and lifted the back of her shirt over her back before she even knew what to say. By the time she protested, I'd already gotten an eyeful.

"Yeah." I sighed, "That looks familiar." It saddened me.

There, on her back, plain as day evidence that what her parents did was more than hitting. She was right. It wasn't _just_ a bruise. Though it wasn't near as bad as what I used to have to deal with, it still wasn't pretty. Five, or six, maybe ten overlapping, dark and thin welts raised along her back in a definite belt's width.

It reminded me painfully of how I lived every day, and it made me sick to think someone else was going through it. I was regretting promising what I had promised as I kneeled back again.

"It's not so bad." She told me, "Really."

"Don't lie to me." I muttered. I knew it was a lie. I'd felt that before, "Which one did that?"

"My mom." She sighed, looking down.

"That's why you said that you didn't have any from him." I recalled and she nodded, "I'm still an expert at dodging the truth without lying."

She sighed again, turning to face me. I couldn't do it. It made me so sick. I wasn't mad at her. How could I be? I was _furious_ at her parents. How could _any_one...

"Leandra-"

"Let's not talk about this anymore tonight, okay?" I offered quietly, "You're supposed to be having fun. It hasn't been fun for either of us in the last hour." She nodded, understanding. Taking a deep breath along with me.

The truth was, I saw her differently. We both learned things about each other tonight that would either make us closer friends, or end our friendship completely. It really depended on how we both acted toward each other for the rest of the night.

Which turned out to be not at all different than how we usually treated each other.

I wasn't even sure how it happened, but we wound up downstairs on the computer half the night. Watching videos online. Emmett sat in with us, probably just to make sure we weren't about to be kidnapped, but he found a lot of what we watched funny too, so I knew he wasn't bored.

It was probably more of how hard we laughed at some of these things that he found entertaining, though. The way he watched us instead of the screen confirmed it.

We were in the middle of a good laugh when Jasper got home, coming up the hall to see what all the laughter was about. That meant it had to be after eleven, but we were way too wide awake to go to sleep.

As entertainment, Jasper stuck around to watch too. Several times, we actually had to pause it, or we'd miss something. My stomach actually hurt from laughing so much. It was a good distraction from the earlier events of the night, and I didn't want to let it go.

"No more candy after eight." Emmett finally chuckled, "After this, it's bed time."

We got him to agree to one more, managing to stay there long enough for Carlisle to get home.

"Is that really appropriate?" Carlisle asked from the doorway, and Emmett beside us looked back.

"I figured what could it hurt." Emmett replied over our laughter, "I've lost count how many times they've both snorted."

"It's after midnight." Carlisle reminded us, "Once this is over, it's time for bed."

"They know." Emmett said, "I'll carry them upstairs if I have to." Giving a nod, he smiled a little, leaving the room.

True to his word, Emmett carried us, still laughing, from the room. Up the short hallway, and up the stairs. Me over one shoulder, Alyssa over the other.

"Wait!" I laughed, "I'm hungry again."

"Aw, come on, shorty." Emmett chuckled as I rolled, fighting from his grip. He let me down onto my feet so I didn't wiggle myself free enough to hit the floor face first.

"I wanna go to bed." He called after me as I sprinted up the hall. Lie. Laughing at my new found freedom, I knew if anybody actually had been sleeping, they weren't anymore.

"Run, Leandra!" Alyssa called behind me, "Save yourself!"

"I'll never forget you!"

That freedom was short lived, as Jasper caught me next. Scooping me up, and flinging me over his shoulder right at the top of the stairs.

"Drat!" I called, kicking a little and listening to Alyssa's laughter behind me.

"Shut up out there." Rose called from one of the rooms. That had us fall silent for about six seconds flat, until we burst out laughing again.

We were deposited on my bed, laying where we were lightly dropped.

"Good night." Emmett chuckled pointedly, "Go to sleep."

We laid there for several minutes, calming down.

"I really am hungry." I mumbled, and that only restarted our laughing briefly. That only lasted a few minutes, though. My stomach sore, and cheeks aching from smiling so much. I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever laughed so hard for so long.

She sighed heavily.

"I hope Emily is okay." She finally said, "I haven't been away this long before."

"I'm sure she's alright." I mumbled, rubbing my stomach through my shirt, "Too bad there isn't a way to check on her, you know?" She stayed quiet for a moment, before she sat up a little.

"Think they're asleep yet?" Alyssa asked, looking over at me, and I shrugged.

"Dunno." I replied, "Why?" She immediately threw herself off the bed, sneaking to the door and opening it silently. Creeping out into the dark hallway before I said something, "What are you doing?"

"Come on." She whispered, and I wasted no time. Following her out into the hall, it was very dark without any sort of light besides my open door behind me. For a brief second, my overwhelming fear of the dark tried to make me stop, but I kept going. Distracted, and not wanting her to wander around the house alone.

"Be careful." I warned in a whisper at the top of the stairs, "Don't fall."

"I am." She replied, and I kept close behind her as we descended the stairs. One step at a time, holding on and carefully feeling our way down the stairs until we reached the first floor.

"It's so creepy down here in the dark."

"I know." I whispered back, "We should have brought a light or somethi-" I hit my toes on the coffee table leg, letting out a heated whispered word, "_Shit_!" She immediately started laughing as silently as she could. Quiet giggles behind her hand clamped over her mouth.

"Wait there." She whispered after recovering, "I can see a little bit." I heard her moving over by the front door, and I waited by myself in the dark. I didn't know what she was doing until she was suddenly back beside me. Urging me forward.

Through the living room, into the kitchen, she handed me something bulky.

"My shoes?" I asked, shocked, and I remembered. We'd taken our shoes off earlier after getting back, and Esme put them there.

"Shh."

I had to follow her out the back door, closing it as quietly as I could behind me. She slipped on her shoes, and was off running before I could even finish pulling on my second shoe. Only the moonlight to see by, I was freezing cold already. Watching her hop over the fence, and start down the hill toward the park.

"Wait!" I called under my breath, "Wait for me!"

Knowing how much trouble I was going to be in, I followed her anyway.

**A/N: If this seems quick, I apologize. I haven't felt well.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! Oooh I could just hug you guys! :D  
Chapter eight might take some time guys. Few days, maybe. Depending on how well I feel.  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I thought I needed something sort of light. This story has been way too depressing lately.  
Until eight, my friends. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Slow down!"

I almost tumbled several times trying to catch up to her. She finally stopped at the bottom of the hill, letting me catch up.

"Do you know how much trouble I'm going to be in?" I mumbled to her.

"Don't be so paranoid." She said, "I sneak out all the time. My daddy never knows."

"Your family is a little different than mine." I admitted, glancing back up the hill. I sighed, looking to her, "And it's fucking freezing cold out here. I want to go back."

"They won't even notice." She said, taking my hand, "Quit being a scaredy-cat, and come on."

She tugged me forward, and we started running. I knew by then where we were going, but that didn't ease my nervousness any. I knew they already knew we were gone, and this was the third strike.

What the hell was I doing?

We stopped running once we reached the other side of the park, jumping out onto the sidewalk to catch our breath.

"And I'm not a scaredy-cat, okay? I'm fucking cold, and I'm fucking tired, and I _really_ don't want to be fucking-"

"Shut up." She hissed as we rounded the corner, "The neighbors will hear ya." I gave her a look, but did as she said.

I kept quiet until we reached her house, and she went up the steps.

"Alyssa, wait." I murmured, and she looked back at me, "This isn't a good idea."

"Just give me five minutes." She sighed, "I'll be right back." I wasn't about to let her go in there alone, so I groaned and followed her. She turned the knob, and pushed open the door. The door was unlocked, which I found to be kind of stupid, but then again, I hadn't met her dad yet.

That happened less than a minute later. Before we could even climb the stairs, we froze.

The light in the upstairs hallway flipped on and we stood there, obviously caught. Me partially behind Alyssa, but still clearly visible to the man already half-way down the stairs. Another boy, almost as big as the man closer to us, stood at the top of the stairs. Both shirtless, obviously just woken up.

Both were anything but scrawny.

One wrong move, I'd run. I didn't want to do that, so I kept my hand tight on the handrail attached to the wall.

Alyssa beside me looked down, but I kept my eyes on him. He was a pretty big guy, but I wouldn't let that be my first impression of him. His black hair made him seem darker of a person, but again, I wouldn't let that be my first impression. He was intimidating, the way he held himself.

Flat out, I didn't like him.

This had to be her father.

"Alyssa?" He sighed, irritated. The firm tone of his voice tried to send ice through my blood, but I fought it. His voice was deep, almost gravelly, and I couldn't help cringing internally as I tried to imagine what his voice sounded like when he shouted.

"Hi, daddy." She greeted with a sheepish smile. I looked over at her, and I knew she wasn't as afraid of him as I was. I tried to calm down, but that was easier said than done.

"I could have killed you." He said, "What are you doing back?"

"Uh.." She mumbled, clearly not having thought of this.

"She wanted to get her pillow." I spoke up, "Mine are uncomfortable for her." His eyes found me, and I looked down, shrinking down a little, "I thought it'd be okay."

"You brought her here?" He asked me, "Through town, this late at night?"

"Uh.." It was my turn to lose my ability to speak. Looking up at Alyssa, she glanced back down at me.

"Dad?" I almost sighed loudly in relief as I heard Mikah's voice from further up the stairs, "What's going on?"

"Go back to bed." Was his response, his eyes not leaving me.

"It was my idea, dad." Alyssa said, "It wasn't her fault."

So much for sneaking out all the time, I thought bitterly. He studied us for a moment, and as tempted as I was to turn and run anyway, I couldn't just abandon her like that.

"Well?" Her dad barked, "What are you waiting for? Go get it." At first, she didn't move. Neither did I. With a loud sigh, Mikah started down the stairs. Passed their father, until he stopped in front of us.

"What are you doing here?" He asked us, "Why aren't you back there in bed?"

"I had to come back." She said, and he sighed heavily again. Running his hand through his hair, he glanced back up at their father now leaning against the railing. Lighting a cigarette.

"Come on." Mikah said, "Both of you." I glanced back up at Alyssa, following her closely on our way up the stairs behind Mikah. Thankfully, we were left alone as we passed her father, but I didn't like being cramped in the tiny space with him. Even for the tiny amount of time it took to move passed him. I could feel him watching us. Closely.

Passed what was probably her oldest brother Jonathan at the top of the stairs, I heard his chuckle. Through the first door on the right, and straight into a tiny, tiny cramped bedroom, but that could have just been the three beds in it. Mikah closed the door behind us, flipping on a lamp sitting on the dresser behind the door.

I slowly stepped in, looking around. Two twin sized beds pressed together on the left, and a full sized bed across the small space on the right, half blocking the closet with no door. One lamp on the tall dresser, which was how we could see now.

"Wow." I muttered, looking around.

"The boys have more room in their room, but they'd have less if all four were in there." Alyssa explained, trying to explain the size of the room. Probably embarrassed.

"You share a room with your brother?" I asked, and she nodded. I knew this before, as she told me, but it was still hard to believe. Seeing it for the first time. Mikah stood off to the side, his arms crossed over his bare chest.

"It doesn't bother us." She explained it away, "We kinda like having him in here, and he doesn't care." She looked at him, offering another sheepish smile, "Do you?" He didn't reply, giving her a stern look.

I couldn't imagine having to share my bedroom with anyone. That was my spot. I could, if I really had to, but that was different.

"I thought I told you to stay there." Mikah finally spoke, and he was irritated, something I hadn't heard from him before.

"I'm sorry." Alyssa mumbled, watching as he finally pulled on a shirt, "I thought I could come in, and get back out without waking anybody."

She moved across the room, over to where the double twin beds sat. Just a tiny lump under the blankets, was Emily's sleeping form.

"First mistake." Mikah said, "You know dad doesn't go to bed until sometime after midnight. You know that. You didn't even wait for him to fall asleep." He was really unhappy, "No, actually, your first mistake was coming back here in the middle of the night at all."

I bit my lip through his scolding, choosing to turn slowly, and look around.

"And you." I flinched a little at his voice directed at me, "You let her?"

"She didn't give me much choice-"

"Did she force you?" He asked incredulously.

"I didn't want her running all the way here by herself." I replied sharply, "You're welcome."

"Don't either of you know how dangerous it is? Running through town this time of night?" He asked, "Alyssa, you know Emily is safe. What's the matter with you?"

I looked to her, now sitting with a very sleepy Emily on the twin bed against the wall, who was quite annoyed at being woken up, given the whine she was giving. Looking over her arms, which were completely bruise free, Alyssa sighed.

"I know, I know." Alyssa mumbled, letting Emily lay back down.

"So." Mikah's tone had eased as he looked at me, "Your first time meeting Grant, our wonderful father."

I gave a quiet, nervous laugh. Choosing to watch the floor instead.

"I know the feeling." Mikah replied bitterly, as if that had been a description, "Now, let's go. I've gotta walk you two all the way back there, because you couldn't wait eight more hours."

I was wondering, the entire way there, how this was going to end tonight. Alyssa and I walked ahead of him, and I could feel his glare on us the entire way back. Clutching the pillow she'd apparently gone to retrieve, she couldn't just leave without it. Not without Grant, her father, watching us leave.

As I figured, the lights in the house were on, and I whined, slowing down.

"Come on, escapee." Mikah took my arm, tugging me along. They were going to have to install a gate back here soon, I thought. Mikah lifted each of us over the wall, before climbing over himself.

Up to the porch, I took a breath before opening the door, and immediately, three pairs of eyes were on me. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie. All looking our way, and I hesitated in the doorway. My hand still on the doorknob.

"Uh.." That word was becoming increasingly common tonight.

"Come inside, and sit down. Both of you." Carlisle wasn't happy. I winced, glancing to Alyssa beside me. I sighed, and led both her, and Mikah inside.

"Rosalie, please go call Emmett." Esme murmured, "Let them know they've been found."

With a firm look at me, she did as Esme asked. Walking from the kitchen, and really for the first time, I was borderline afraid. Carlisle waited, watching as Mikah closed the door quietly behind himself.

As we took our seats, Mikah introduced himself to both Esme and Carlisle, and I watched. Seeing them together caught my attention. It distracted me from the situation momentarily, until all three of them looked at us again.

I had to admit. It did feel nice to be warming up again.

"What on earth has gotten into you?" Carlisle finally asked, and I looked down, shrugging a little, "You were doing so well."

"I still am." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"That's not what your behavior is telling me." Carlisle replied, "Leandra, we need to know where you are at all times. We can't do that if you don't stick to what you tell us, or run off at every single opportunity."

"Not every single opportunity." I corrected, and Alyssa looked over at me, "I could have run off before, but I didn't."

"This isn't a joke." Carlisle pointed out quietly, shaking his head a little.

"Where is she?" I heard Emmett ask as he came in the front door. I don't know why. Maybe it was because he sounded upset? Maybe because I didn't want to hear his side of the scolding? I don't know why I did it, but I bolted up and scrambled for the back door.

Before I could even make it around the table, Carlisle caught me. Lifting me off my feet into his arms.

"It was my idea." Alyssa finally spoke up, "She was just following me so I didn't find trouble." Emmett strode into the room, and I hid my face.

"But you found it anyway." Mikah spoke to Alyssa now, "Both families are up in the middle of the night, because you couldn't stay your ass in bed. Now Leandra's in trouble, and you're in trouble. What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry." She said, "I just wanted to check on Emily."

"Don't you trust me?" Mikah asked, "I think I know how to take care of you guys after all this time. I meant it when I told you she'd be fine, and you saw that for yourself."

"I know!"

"Then why?" Mikah's tone quieted, seeing she was getting upset. He sighed, sitting down beside her, "Aly, you know I'd never lie to you. I take care of you because I care about you. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but wandering around in the middle of the night is a very unsafe thing to do. Anybody can see you out there, and just grab you right off the street, and we'd _never_ know what happened to ya. Is that what you want?"

There was that mention again. I looked up, watching as Mikah hugged her into his side, his arm securely around her shoulders.

"No." She sniffled.

Unless it was a very used lie, it had to be something real, since Mikah was warning Alyssa of it now. I still couldn't understand it, though.

"I thought you were making it up." I mumbled, looking to Emmett.

"You didn't believe me?" He asked, surprised, and I shook my head.

"That's why I went wandering the first time." I admitted, "I wanted to see. Nobody bothered me."

"Wait." Emmett's tone seemed firmer now, "You went wandering around, _hoping _to see if I was right about what I told you?"

"Uh.."

"Are you crazy?" He demanded, "Shorty, why would I lie to you about something like that?"

"Because it can't be true." I countered sharply, "It doesn't make any sense."

"What is it about kidnapping that doesn't make sense?" He asked, "Some people would kill to find a kid like you, or like Alyssa wandering alone at night." He paused, "Or really anytime somebody's not paying one hundred percent attention to you. All it takes is a split second, shorty. One tiny moment where someone has their back turned. They don't always make friends first. Sometimes, they just take, and we _don't_ want to lose you."

I didn't appreciate his tone, and I looked down.

"Listen to me, shorty." He stressed, "Someone sees you, they like what they see, they take you." He had to hear how nervous that made me, my heart speeding up, "That's how fast it can happen. All we're asking, is at very least, for you to tell us where you're going, and when you'll be back. That's it. I'll take you for walks myself, if that's what you want, and you know I'd never let anything happen to you."

"For someone so worried about Jack, you sure aren't very careful." Jasper wasn't happy with me either. I didn't like the mention, "You know he fits into that category as well, don't you? And we'd _never_ know, because you were foolish to run off on your own." I whimpered, hugging tighter to Carlisle's neck.

Emmett waited, watching me.

"I walk around all the time, and nothing's happened." Alyssa spoke up, and I looked to her, "I leave the house all the time at night. That's the best time to walk around."

"Since when?" Mikah asked, this obviously news to him.

"Since I was like eight." She replied confidently. She doubted Emmett, too.

"Well that's gonna stop now, isn't it?" Mikah asked, and Alyssa rolled her eyes.

"They only tell kids that to make them go to bed at night." She countered, "It's not actually like that."

"It has to be made up." I said, looking to her, "Or at least not that bad."

"You know what, it's movie time." Emmett muttered, taking me from Carlisle's arms, "Let's go watch a movie."

"Emmett." Esme obviously didn't like the sound of that.

"I know what I'm doing." Emmett replied, "Don't worry."

"What movie?" Mikah asked, standing with Alyssa. Emmett replied with a name, and Mikah nodded, "I see what you're doing. May be a little steep, but it might just be enough to work on these dummies." He patted Alyssa's head, and followed Emmett and I into the living room.

"Do you want to stay, or would you rather go?" Emmett asked Mikah, "I can take it from here."

"I'd rather stay." He said, "I want to be sure she learns her lesson."

I was seated between Alyssa and Emmett on the couch, Mikah and Emmett on either end of the couch. Alyssa and I in the middle between them. She remained skeptical, but I grew nervous as the movie started.

Emmett sighed, looking to me as I watched.

"Stupid." Alyssa barked at the TV, intending it for the girl in the movie five minutes into it, and Mikah looked to her.

"I thought you said it was made up." He said, "How is she stupid? She probably didn't believe _her_ brother, either." That shut her up. Despite supposedly being two years older than the girl in the movie, I was no bigger than she was. I was still behind where I should be growth wise, and despite the obvious differences, I could see why Emmett thought about me when he watched it before.

Not letting that comparison scare me, I continued watching. Neither of us said anything more after that, both getting increasingly nervous.

As it turned out, I couldn't make it more than thirty minutes into the movie.

The moment I realized what was about to happen to the girl, I jumped up with a cry, and I ran from the room in a fit of panic. Nearly tripping over Mikah on my way by, and listening to Emmett insisting Mikah pause it behind me as he stood up.

"Leandra?" Alyssa called, confused.

I couldn't understand why Emmett would make me sit and watch that, and the last one I wanted comfort from was him, so the first one I found, I clung to. Which happened to be Carlisle. He sighed, lifting me as Emmett entered the room behind me.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, "I'm sorry."

"I knew that would be too much." Carlisle murmured, looking to Emmett.

"Too much, or just enough?" Emmett asked, "Listen to her."

"I'm never leaving the house again." I cried, shaking my head, "Not ever."

"That was the opposite of helpful." Carlisle reminded him, "We wanted her more independent. Not petrified of leaving the house."

"I had to show her." Emmett replied, "She wasn't getting it before. She'll calm down, and you'll see. They'll be more careful."

"Leandra?" Alyssa's still confused voice didn't even help me calm down, "It's okay, you know. It's okay. It was just a movie."

"It was just a movie, you're right." Mikah told her, "But that stuff really does happen."

"I don't get it." She said, "Why is she so scared?"

"That's happened to her." Mikah stated. It wasn't a question. He understood now, given his tone. I felt Carlisle nod, and Mikah suddenly got very quiet. Alyssa had obviously never been through anything like that, because she wasn't crying like I was.

"That's such a horrible movie." Esme pointed out, "Wasn't there a more child friendly way to show them?"

"Not as effective as this one was." Emmett replied, "She'll be alright."

It took me several minutes to calm down, but my breathing stayed panicked for quite a bit longer. Now and then left over sobs would escape, or another round of trembles would roll through me.

I was very aware of everyone else still in the room, but it was silent.

Because of my reaction, Alyssa didn't want to continue watching the movie. I didn't blame her. I wouldn't want her to anyway, because I understood now. I wasn't stupid. I knew what that was like, and whatever happened after that wouldn't be good.

I was much calmer by the time we were put to bed. Embarrassed now, by how I acted. She'd look over at me, but I wouldn't offer an explanation. I didn't want to tell her.

I did feel comforted, though. By being back in my own room. Safe under the blanket, warm and protected. I wondered how it had to feel for her. She wasn't nearly as scared as I had been, though.

"I like your family." Alyssa mumbled tiredly beside me.

"Me too." I replied quietly.

"I should steal them." She was joking, I knew she was joking, but I didn't like that idea. It was possible.

Sure, she was more of a handful, but she was cuter than I was. She could handle people better than I could, but I was learning. I was still learning. She was less damaged than I was, and she was way more fun. Who wouldn't trade me for someone like her?

She must have fallen asleep waiting for a response from me, but she never got one. I didn't know what to say. I did what I could to cry silently.

I fell asleep, not even really being able to tell she was there. My bed was so big, there was so much space between us. Somehow, during the rest of the night, I never woke her up when I woke up. Managing to keep my cries quiet enough to let her sleep while I laid as still as I could.

She was still asleep when I crawled out of bed in the morning. Too anxious to sleep anymore. I needed some water, or something to calm me down. My thoughts weren't just on the movie the night before. I felt an edginess that made my stomach tumble. I needed to spend some time with someone who understood how I felt.

My feet made no sound through the living room, spotting Mikah asleep on the couch. I found Esme in the kitchen already, and crossed the room to her. She gave me a sad smile, seeing my run down, tired and nervous expression, hugging me.

"No more sleep overs for awhile." I sniffled, not surprised when my tears started up again. Slow ones, tired ones.

"Oh, honey." She murmured, sitting me across her lap and wrapping her arms more securely around me. I started to calm down, easily now that I was sitting with her. I wasn't embarrassed anymore by letting her hold me. I wouldn't let myself be. I just wanted reassurance, which she was only too happy to provide.

"I remembered more about that vision." I mumbled quietly, and she gave a nervous glance into the living room, "He's out cold."

"We still need to be careful, honey." She told me, "Revisit the subject later?" I nodded a little.

"I'm surprised he stayed." I mumbled, "Why?"

"He wanted to be here in case Alyssa needed him." She explained and I smiled a little.

"He's such a great brother." I mumbled, and suddenly I wondered. Did he know? I wondered if he knew about what his sister was dealing with. It wasn't my place to tell him, especially if he didn't know, but I was deeply curious.

I sighed, leaning against Esme.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me quietly.

"No." I murmured, smiling a little as I looked over, "But I'm sure they will be. There's a lot of people at their house."

She smiled, taking the hint. Two more humans to feed. Her favorite thing in the world. I allowed her to stand, taking the seat she vacated.

After only a few minutes, Esme handed me a cup of tea, which I appreciated deeply. I could never turn it down when she offered, because she made it so well. However, halfway through her making breakfast, I was falling asleep right there at the table.

My arm folded under my head, I laid over the table. I couldn't help it. I was so tired. I wasn't surprised when I was lifted slowly, but the temperature of their skin was all wrong. I noticed that immediately, and opened my eyes tiredly.

"Put me down." I whined, looking up at Mikah, "I don't want to kick you in the face."

"Usually I'm better at that." He laughed a little, "I just thought you'd be more comfortable in your bed."

"I'm fine." I yawned, "I'll sleep later."

"Good morning." And Alyssa was awake, skipping into the room. Witnessing Mikah still holding me, she laughed a little, "Are you trying to kidnap her?"

I looked up at him, pausing before giving a quick struggle.

"I'll bite you." I warned when he just held me tighter.

"Relax." He chuckled, "I just don't want to drop you. Hold still for a second." I did as he said, he let me down, back into my seat. I gave him the dirtiest look I could manage, and he laughed, "I take it you didn't sleep very well."

I just shrugged as Alyssa sat beside me.

"He wouldn't kidnap you." Alyssa assured me, "He's nice."

Over the course of the morning, the kitchen became more occupied. Alice and Jasper first, and Alice definitely wasn't pleased with us.

"If you ever pull that again-"

"I won't." I mumbled, "So save it." Giving me a look at my attitude, she chose not to continue.

"I won't, either." Alyssa said beside me, "I don't know what made her cry like that, but I don't want it."

"Believe me," Jasper murmured, "You don't. It's far safer being careful at all times, and listening to your parents, or your brothers when they tell you to stay where they can see you." She looked down but nodded.

"And no more night escapes." Mikah told her, "If I had known, I'd have locked the bedroom door. I might start doing that anyway."

"What if I have to go?" She asked, smiling a little.

"Then you'll just have to wake me up, won't you?" Mikah asked, "It's not like you have any aversion to doing that, apparently."

Alyssa looked down.

"Sorry about that."

"I know." He sighed, "I know."

Carlisle came in, followed by Emmett, which left Rosalie as the only one out of the room. I gave Emmett a glare as well as I stood up. I rounded the table to Carlisle, hugging onto him.

"Don't go to work today." I whined, and he looked down at me. He was quiet for a moment, sighing quietly.

"I'll see what I can do." He assured me, and I nodded a little. Even if he couldn't stay, that he would try was enough.

I even managed to eat a little bit, and I felt a little better.

Since Mikah was already here, and he had to go, he told Alyssa that he'd be the one to take her home. As much as I knew she had to dread that, she also looked forward to it. Seeing her sister, and being around to watch her, I knew she'd feel better.

I couldn't help being a little relieved too, as horrible as that made me. I wanted time to breathe, and unwind without getting into trouble. I didn't like them getting mad at me.

Who knew having somebody else come over could be so exhausting?

Once they were gone, I fell back into my chair with a heavy sigh.

"Well, that was certainly interesting." Jasper commented as soon as they'd left, "Same time next week?"

"No." I almost shouted, lifting my head quickly, and he actually laughed, "No. No, that's okay." I groaned, laying my head back down, "I'm so tired, I could sleep for a week."

"Sleep all you need to, honey." Esme assured me, "I can tell how tired you are."

"There is one thing we need to discuss, however." Jasper spoke up, and my heart sank a little, "About what Alyssa said last night."

"Uh.." I had to stop using that word that wasn't a word.

"We'd never trade you." He told me, and I sighed a little, "Never. I know how much that bothered you." As long as he didn't bring up anything else we talked about, I'd rather have to deal with this subject.

"She's more fun than I am." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"If that's your reasoning, then let's get a dog." Emmett said, and I looked up, "It can have your room, shorty, and you can sleep outside."

"Really?" Alice demanded, "You had to go there?"

I couldn't help laughing, though. I knew he was joking, and that made all the difference. Alice was still upset, however.

"You don't tell her something like that." Alice was pretty mad at him, "Never. Are you kidding me?"

I was still laughing, though, and he grinned at me.

"Can it be a poodle?" I asked, and Alice rounded, giving me a look.

"Don't encourage him." She told me. She seemed like she wanted to say more, but she went quiet.

I watched her, knowing what was going on. She was having a vision, and it interested me. I didn't know why it interested me, but I couldn't help watching. I wondered what she was seeing, but it wasn't long until I got that answer.

The second it was done, she looked to me. Probably to tell whether or not I'd seen, but I had seen. She turned, leaving the room. I heard her call for Carlisle, and stood up to follow her.

"I don't think that's a good idea." To my surprise, it was Jasper to stop me.

"Why not?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Trust me." He said, "Sit back down." I didn't want to be a pain, more than I already was, so I did. I already caused enough trouble the last week or so.

"Was it about me?"

"No." He answered way too quickly. I grew suspicious, narrowing my eyes, "Just stay put." I sighed, watching as he turned, following Alice.

"I hope he at least tells me when it's safe to move." I called after him, pouting a little.

After a few minutes, I just couldn't wait any more.

"I'm going upstairs." I called ahead of myself, knowing they heard me.

"Go ahead, sweetheart." Esme told me, and I knew it was safe to move. I knew they appreciated the heads up, so they could hide whatever they wanted to hide from me. I passed them in the second floor hallway, headed for my room on the third floor.

I closed my door, hit the bed, and promptly fell asleep.

I woke to a nightmare not very long later, and I knew the rest of this weekend was going to be torture. I hadn't been having very many nightmares a night lately, now suddenly, it was every single time I fell asleep.

I expected no different. It's just how I was.

I could be doing so well, and suddenly, I'm three steps back. That's how it worked, but there was normal kid stupidity, doing something dangerous to test the boundaries or to see how much they could get away with, and there was me. Doing something stupid and dangerous because I could. I wasn't testing anything.

Frustrated, I hit my head on my pillow, covering my face with my hands. I was getting fed up, quickly, and I didn't know how to stop myself from taking those three steps back.

I could feel it, though. I knew what to look for now, and I felt it. The slipping.

Rolling out of bed, I could feel the anger again, and I knew why. The dream I'd woken up from was one of the more recent memories I hid from, and I couldn't get it out of my mind.

Stuck in the box, and it just played backwards from there.

Something about _that_ dream in particular always made it happen. Like it was reminding me why I could never be normal.

Nobody knew what it was like to just be so tired, so fed up with yourself, but being helpless to stop it. Hating myself _so_ much for every little thing. When I was in this mood, I couldn't stand the sight of myself, or even thinking about the sight of myself. It wasn't fair. I hated everything I saw. Like looking at somebody I didn't know.

I'd mentioned it to my family once or twice, but being unable to really describe it, nobody really understood what I was talking about, and just like before, hatred for others seemed to make it easier to bear the hate I felt for myself. Just a little bit.

I really didn't want to start this again.

Please, I thought. Don't start this again. I didn't want to become the mean person I was before. I didn't want to hate people, I didn't want to be afraid of what I'd do.

I'd been getting too comfortable, like Jasper said he'd been doing.

I had to distance myself from humans. I wondered if they'd let me, or if they would even take me seriously.

I found Carlisle, Alice, and Esme in the kitchen when I came downstairs. I crossed the room, their eyes on me.

"I want to stay home from school on Monday." I mumbled, "Can I?"

"Of course you can." Carlisle's easy agreement only relieved me at first. Then I thought about it. He didn't ask why, he didn't try to change my mind. He just agreed, like he knew. Like he could tell.

"Were you going to keep me home anyway?" I asked, curious.

"We thought you might be having a hard time." Carlisle replied, and I nodded. It wasn't that hard for them to tell. I was actually quite grateful.

"You'll be spending the day with me on Monday." Esme offered as I sat down beside her, "Would that be alright?" I smiled a little, nodding, "I want to show you the house I'm going to rennovate. I think you'll love it." That did sound like fun. Much more relaxing than having to face a ton of people I could potentially hurt.

I took a breath, sighing.

"Can I ask about the vision you had?" I asked Alice, and she immediately glanced to Carlisle.

"I would prefer if you didn't." She murmured, and I bit my lip.

"It was about Monday, wasn't it?" I asked, and she hesitated. Glancing to Carlisle again, nervous now.

"Did you see something?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"I just know." I replied.

"That's another thing." Alice said, so blatantly changing the subject, I had to force myself to keep up, "What's going on with your visions?"

"I still can't see ahead." I answered, "Not here. I think maybe I have to get through remembering the one I had before I can do that, but it's going so _slow_." She nodded.

"It'll pick up, I'm sure, as you get older." She said, and I shook my head again.

"It's not about getting older. It's more like.." I paused, "I can't see what's supposed to happen until it's.. Right there. Until it's either right about to happen, or already happened, I don't know it's happened before. Well, you know what I mean." She smiled a little, nodding, "It bugs. A lot. Like Bella's party. I could have said something, because that _had_ happened before, but I didn't even know it, but things are so different now, I couldn't tell you anything about what's coming up."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, remember? Last time I was left behind." I said, "And believe me, I know how much that hurt. I remember how I turned out the way I did before, but that's changed now."

"How did you turn out?" Esme asked this time.

"I was out wandering a lot." I admitted, "Before. I was hardly ever home with my mom, because I preferred to spend time at the house. Even though it was empty. I spent my nights there, and most of my days. I stopped going to school, and I stopped doing much of anything but sitting there, and waiting for you to come back."

That saddened her, given her expression.

"I avoided my mom's house, because she'd brought a boyfriend home. Thinking that was a good idea." I shrugged a little, "I hated him. _So_ much. I remember.." I trailed off, frowning a little, "Spending the night outside. Away from the house, because I was so afraid of being caught. It was really snowy, so it had to have been around this time, maybe a little from now."

I sighed.

"After that, it gets too hard to see." I mumbled, "So I can't remember too far ahead, and I think it's harder now, because now is so different from the vision."

"Have you been able to remember anything else regarding the moments closer to when you woke up?" Carlisle asked, and I sighed.

"Aro." I mumbled, tensing. I frowned, leaning forward and resting my chin on my folded arms on the tabletop, "I still hate him."

"Do you remember why?"

"He was there." I sighed, "I know he was there. It's so hard to remember. Um.." I paused this time for a minute, maybe longer, until I slowly sat up, "I remember why it's so hard to remember that time. It should be easy, right? Because it was the most recent." They waited, "I had been turned. That's why it's so hard to see much of anything."

"You were turned?" Esme asked, shocked.

"I was hurt. Really bad." I told her, "I don't remember how it happened, but I know there wasn't much choice. It was _close_ too."

"You said you were seventeen when you woke up?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.

"So it's not like I was too young." I replied, "Like you worried about last time." He frowned and I smiled a little, "I asked about it. In the vision, before you left, I asked you to turn me. I can still remember everything Rosalie told me, so I won't ask now." I paused, "And there's a reason. Besides that I'm too young, and I think Aro has something to do with that."

Accepting that, he looked down briefly. Probably thinking of another question. While I waited, I couldn't help the yawn that escaped.

"What was going on with Jack in the vision?" Carlisle asked, and I looked down. My heart speeding up as I remembered.

"Months ago, I think I told you that he was caught." Carlisle nodded, recalling, "He was arrested, and there was a trial. I had to be there." I kept my eyes down, "He tried to kill me, and he almost did, but I lived. I can still remember all the blood. I think that's why I hate remembering that guy in my mom's living room. That was almost me. Right in the middle of the courthouse."

"How was that possible?"

"Coincidence." I replied, "Wrong place, wrong time, and he shot me. My dad was holding me at the time, so it got him too, but I took the worst of it." I paused, "I don't like remembering that."

"And Ken?" Carlisle asked, and I looked up.

"I don't think he was there." I murmured, shaking my head, "No, I hadn't met him yet." I hesitated, "Why?" Why were they asking about him suddenly? I was far more worried about Jack than Ken at the moment.

Until I thought about it.

I should be just as worried about Ken, if Jack was determined to find me, and if he was acting alone at any time, without my mom around, Alice could see him.

"Wait." I said, sitting straighter, "Alice?"

All the warnings about going places alone. About running off by myself. How much they've insisted, and pressed the issue. Have I just been lucky? With an almost physical click, I understood now.

Ken.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded, and she sighed.

"To avoid this." She said, "We didn't want you to panic."

"He knows where I live?" I asked fearfully, "Now what?" Stupidly, I started to cry, "If he knows, Jack knows, and I.. No." I shook my head.

"He's known for awhile now." Alice pointed out, trying to calm me down, "You're still fine."

"For now!"

The thought of him anywhere near me sent a tension straight through me that I couldn't fight. I knew what that meant. I hadn't seen Ken since I ran that day, what felt like so long ago, and I never thought I'd have to. I'd been so preoccupied by the fact that Jack was still out there somewhere, I'd completely forgotten to worry about Ken.

"She's never sleeping again." Emmett entered the room with a sigh, probably having heard me start to cry, "Honestly, shorty, I'm sorry to say this, but I really do hope he tries something."

"W-What do I do?" I cried, looking to Alice, "What can I do?"

"Just stay smart." She said, "Don't run off, and stay where we can see you."

"If it's daylight out, you can't do a damn thing." I reminded her, sobbing.

"Then stay inside during the day when you can." She said, "Stay with us. I promise nothing will happen while you're with us." I took a breath, nodding, "I'll keep watch. Don't worry about that. Last week, we kept you home too, because I managed to see. Now, there are still times I can't see, because, well.. They're all together, but sometimes, they act alone-"

"_They_?" My voice rose higher in pitch, "Act? Are you _kidding_ me? Alice!" My panic only increased. They, meaning both of them. I had both of them trying to get ahold me. I couldn't take that.

"Breathe." She told me, Esme hugging me tight into her side, "They won't come near the house, because they know that's stupid."

"T-Then..?"

"That's why you're staying home from school tomorrow." She admitted, "Jack was going to try."

"H-He can't, right?" I asked, looking to Carlisle, "He can't. Neither of them can."

"They have ways." Alice replied quietly, honestly, "And given the chance, those ways would work."

"I told you he was smart!" I told her across the table, "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me? Can't you just have him caught before he gets there?"

"No." She sighed, "Deciding to keep you home will change how it turns out."

"I'm not going." I told her, my voice trembling, "I won't go."

"You're not going to." She replied, "We're keeping you as far away from them as we can, okay? You won't be anywhere near them."

"Until my mom blocks the way for you." I reminded her, and she stayed quiet, looking down. I was right.

That was all I could sit through. I darted up, running from the room. Up the stairs and straight into my room.

I double-checked the doors and windows, making sure they were locked, before literally diving back into bed. Hiding in a tiny ball, completely hidden under the blanket.

"Leandra?" Esme had followed me.

"I'm never coming out!" I cried, "Why would you hide this from me? I needed to know!"

"Because we wanted you to live your life. Not feel like you had to hide like this." She reasoned, "Come on out, honey."

"No." I sobbed flatly, "I'm never coming out again." My sobs took on a more desperate tone, "I don't wanna die, Esme. I don't want to die. Please."

"Please calm down, sweetheart." She murmured, "Everything is going to be fine."

"How can it be fine?" I cried, "It'll never be fine. Now I know why I'm so scared all the time. Now I know why I hated school so much. I thought I was losing my mind. Why didn't anyone _tell_ me?"

"Honey." I felt her hand rest over me above the blanket, "It's going to be fine. They won't get to you here. I promise. You won't be left unguarded for a second."

I cried the entire time she spoke, curled into the smallest ball I could manage to fold myself into. I could feel the bed bounce a little with each heartbroken sob I gave. I couldn't calm down.

"I know how worried you are. I know, but I'm sure lack of sleep has a lot to do with that."

"No, Jack has everything to do with that." I mumbled, curling tightly in my ball.

"I know." She sighed, "But please. Try to rest."

"I don't want to die." I whimpered, and her hand stayed rested over the blanket on me.

"We will protect you, honey." She told me, "They're not going to reach you. Not here. Not while I'm here."

"I still think it'd be the best day ever when they decide to try." Emmett's voice in the doorway took my attention, "I can't _wait_."

"Emmett." Esme scolded lightly.

"What?" He asked, "One of these days, they're going to get pissed because we're always one step ahead, and when that happens, they're done for."

**A/N: Oh nooo.. :(  
Pretty eventful chapter. I thought sure we'd get further along than this, but this is far enough, I suppose. I know it's a little short, and I apologize, but this was where it needed to end.  
I hope you enjoyed this one. :D  
THANK YOU to my beautiful reviewers!  
Chapter nine should come along within a few days, depending on how much I'm able to get done, and how soon.  
Until nine, my friends! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Brief, brief, brief note of the subject that required the warning last chapter. Last time, I promise.**

**Chapter Nine**

"Leandra, honey, pay attention." Esme caught me before I could trip, stumbling over a board that stuck slightly out from the pile in front of me, "Watch out."

I'd been so busy looking up and around at this room, that I hadn't seen the obstacle in front of me.

"Sorry." I mumbled, sitting on the pile of boards, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, sweety." She assured me, "Just be careful."

Needless to say, I couldn't stay hidden under my blanket forever. Not like I wanted to.

Esme had seemed perfectly fine letting me stay there, but Carlisle helped me come out. Carlisle had stayed home all day that day, and that was the only way I came out at all. He knew how scared I was, to act the way I did, and he knew how hard that was for me to hear.

I wound up coming out that same night, if only to eat, but I wound up sitting with Emmett. I was safe anywhere in the house, but I felt safest with him. Where I eventually fell asleep.

Sunday was spent in fear, yet again, and Monday, I had no choice but to go with Esme. As much as I didn't want to leave the house behind, or the safety it offered, I also desperately wanted a distraction. She was taking me to see the house today. There'd be nobody else there today, just us, so I could get some of the unwinding time I needed.

I knew Esme would protect me just as much as Emmett would, so I had nothing to worry about. I did worry, however, at first. Until I saw just how isolated this house was.

It really was a beautiful house.

Even without being redone yet, I could see why she liked it so much. The scenery around it was enough to make this old building seem twice as beautiful as it was. The exterior of the house was made of a light gray, painted brick and wood, but the paint was long passed the peeling stage. Weathered, and pretty old, it had a creepy sort of beauty about it.

The windows had no glass to it anymore, and it was at least two stories tall. It had definitely seen better days.

The second week in November was starting warm, but it was supposed to get colder next week. It was pretty chilly outside today, but still nice out with the sunlight falling in through the pane-less windows, and across the dusty floor.

"It's so quiet here." I pointed out quietly, looking around the vacant room. Aside from the chirping birds outside in the trees, there was no sound.

"That's one of its best features, don't you think?" Esme asked from across the room, beside the large, empty fireplace. I nodded lightly, "I thought you might like it."

It seemed like a very nice place to go to just space out for awhile. Away from everything else, and the many people in town, but somehow, it made me reflect on the major differences between home, and this place. Back home, in Forks, there really wasn't much I had to worry about. Here, there was so much more danger than there. Things I had to be wary of.

Back there was safe, here, I didn't feel so safe. My stomach hurt just thinking about it.

"It's too bright here." I mumbled, my eyes finding the streaks of sunlight coming in through the windows, "I miss home."

"I know, honey." She replied, "I just wish you'd try to adjust."

"I am." I sighed, "And I guess it's not all bad, but I still miss home. I miss the sound of the rain." I stood back up, and slowly crossed the dusty floor to the window. Looking out over the vacant, overgrown property.

I figured this place was far enough out of the way that I didn't need to worry about anyone finding me that I didn't want to find me. I felt safer here, because it was so far from town.

"I'm going to go look around outside." I mumbled, and she smiled a little.

"Just be careful."

This house was also on a hill, but not as large, or as steep of one. The trees, and underbrush were much different than what home had, but I was curious. I slowly stepped down the slight hilly slope, and crossed some groups of trees, to an embankment.

To my surprise, finding a small stream.

Almost big enough to be considered a river, but the slow flowing water took my attention, because it was clear. I could see the stones at the bottom. The water wasn't very deep at all, maybe a few inches, but certainly less than a foot.

The water flowed from left to right, carrying with it leaves and sometimes a stick or two. I squatted beside it, on the muddy leaves, balanced on my feet as I reached out. Touching the icy water as it flowed by.

I stood up quickly as I listened to the sound of movement across the stream from me, in the underbrush as it rustled. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw what it was.

Just a stupid cat.

A normal house-cat, with longer, matted fur. It was probably a stray, given how ragged it looked. Multicolored. Brown, tan and white. A little bit of gray mixed in with the tan patches. It saw me standing there, smelled my direction and continued on with what it was doing. Sniffing the ground a bit before padding forward and crouching by the stream to drink.

Since I didn't move, that must have told the feral animal that I was alright. It was jumpy, though, just like I always was. Easily startled, I noticed, as I squatted back down, and it jumped. Nearly bolting, but stayed where it was. Tail twitching.

"I'm not gonna bother you." I mumbled, and as if it knew English, it continued to drink. Wary now, it watched me. When it was done, it sniffed the air again, sneezed lightly, and walked off almost bored. Back in the direction it had come.

I couldn't stop thinking about that cat as I stayed there. Watching and listening to the water flow by.

Reaching down, I dug a stone from the soggy soil under the water, and rinsed it off. It was perfectly flat, and kind of oval. Smooth, and sort of a lighter tanish gray color. I liked it, and it reminded me of the cat, so I thought I'd keep it.

I stayed down by the stream for a little longer, following its path through the trees that only grew denser as I walked. It was clear that nobody had been out this way in a very long time. The sunlight filtered through the nearly completely brown and red leaves, making shadows across the narrow path beside the stream, and played off the water brightly.

Before turning back, I sat down beside a tree to rest.

Sitting there for a few minutes, I didn't even notice the bug that had made its way onto my shirt from the tree beside me. Until I did, and it startled me into jumping up with a loud yelp.

Thankfully, I didn't smash it, as when I calmed down, it was kind of cute.

It looked exactly like a thin, brown stick. But it moved. It walked around in four, very skinny legs, and I almost dropped it when I scooped it off my shirt with my hand, but it held on. Gripping the side and fingers of my hand so it didn't go flying. It was the weirdest looking little bug I'd ever seen.

Sighing, I let it walk back onto the tree, and turned. Heading back for the house. Dusting off my jeans and hands as I walked.

I found the cat again, though. It had crossed the stream, and was standing between where I stood and the house, so I stopped. I didn't want to scare it, so I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't feel like fighting my way through the thick underbrush and overgrown trees just to go around the cat.

I squatted down, and called it to me. To my immense surprise, it wandered closer. It seemed nice enough at first, and even let me pet it a little. Its fur definitely felt dirty, and I kept my right hand resting on my folded knee as I pet it with my left, so it didn't get nervous.

I let it sniff me until it had its smell, and it even purred a little.

But when I tried to pick it up, that was a whole different story.

With a growling hiss, it gave me a decent scratch diagonally across my right cheek, and I dropped it in response. From the bridge of my nose, almost to my jaw, I felt the burning sting. It landed on its feet, springing away.

"Bastard!" I called after it as it scrambled further away, "Fuck you, too." It looked back at me, its tail furiously whipping back and forth. I reached up, touching the painfully stinging wounds, pulling back fingers lightly painted with blood. After a few swipes, it was done bleeding, so I knew it wasn't bad. Probably just a warning. After awhile, I was just glad the stupid thing hadn't managed to scratch my eye.

I sighed, knowing Esme was going to be worried about it. I rinsed it off with the stream water, making sure there wasn't any residual blood, and the water felt nice on it. I hadn't even noticed until then how its back claws got my forearm as well. Four good gashes in a row, until they bent in another direction where it had pushed off. Much deeper, and I hoped the ones on my face weren't as bad. I hadn't been able to see those ones yet.

Wandering back inside, I found Esme easily, and just as I figured, she wasn't happy.

"What happened?" She asked, moving forward to look over my cheek.

"Some stupid cat." I answered, "It didn't want to be picked up."

"Did it bite you?" She asked, and I frowned a little. Bite? Wasn't scratching bad enough?

"No." I said, "It just scratched me." That seemed to ease her a little, but she sighed.

With a quick call to Carlisle, he said all that needed to be done was to just clean the wounds before they closed. He couldn't leave the hospital, as it was busy there, but Esme assured him it was fine. She could handle taking care of me.

"Naturally." Emmett commented as soon as he saw me once we got home, "You find the closest wild animal to maul you."

"Shut up." I grumbled as Esme led me toward the bathroom.

It didn't take long to do, and it didn't hurt too bad to clean the deeper wounds on my arm, or even the ones on my face. Just a slight sting, really.

Once that was done, I asked if we were going back.

"Not today, honey." Esme answered, "We can't keep going out during the day. It's far too risky."

"I'm sorry." I felt bad, for ruining her day there.

"It's not your fault." She laughed a little, "I'm just glad you're okay."

It had been awhile, so I decided then to type out an e-mail to Josh.

To my surprise, however, instead of only the reply to my reply, there was another e-mail from him in my inbox. Asking for my address again, since he lost the paper. He said it should have been right on the desk where he always kept it. It wasn't there. That was sent two weeks ago, with an admittance that he hadn't seen it for awhile before that.

I sat there, thinking for a moment. Biting my lip as I twirled a little in the chair. That bothered me, but I couldn't figure out why.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett stepped in, seeing my expression.

"Josh can't find the paper with our address written on it." I replied quietly.

"Yeah," Emmett snorted, "His grandfather has it now." The way he said that made it suddenly clear. He was right. How else could he possibly have known my exact location so easily? Any other time, it would have taken him quite a bit longer than a few weeks to find me.

I remembered then. The stranger at the park, before we had to leave. That's who Heather had been talking to. Why wouldn't she say anything? A heads up would have been nice!

"Fuck." I whined, leaning back and covering my face. Carlisle had never met Ken before, so he wouldn't know who that'd been. Not thinking anything of it.

"That cat got you good." He muttered, reaching forward.

"Don't touch it." I said, "My face will fall off." He paused for a second, surprised until he laughed and let his hand drop.

"What a creepy, and very disturbing thing for you to say." He replied, and I smiled a little.

"I try."

"How'd you make it do that?" He asked, leaning against the desk beside me.

"I tried to pick it up." I muttered bitterly, "It didn't like that."

"Well, wouldn't you scratch some strange person who tried to pick you up?" He asked, and I thought. Waking up to Mikah picking me up, and the warning I gave him.

"Yeah." I laughed a little, "I would."

"I'd like to think you wouldn't go quietly." He said, "If I know you, you'd give that bastard one hell of a fight."

I sent my reply to Josh, apologizing for being so busy with school. Asking him how he's been, the same old boring shit instead of caps-locking his ear off for being so damn dumb and careless with my address.

I wanted Carlisle to know.

The moment he got inside, I stood up.

"That was Ken." I told him, and he paused, confused for a second, "At the park the day. Remember? The one you could see, but I couldn't? Who Heather was talking to? That was him."

"How can you be sure?"

"Josh can't find the paper with our address written on it." I replied quietly, "That's because Ken has it. He took it."

That worried him.

"That's how he found you so easily." He pointed out, as if that answered a very big question he had.

"It's not your fault." I said immediately, "You didn't know, and I never thought it'd be him. It's not even Josh's fault. I told him to keep it from Jack. I never said anything about keeping it safe from Ken too."

"You know what he looks like?" Emmett asked him, and Carlisle nodded, "Good. The more of us that know what these fuckers look like, the better."

"They've been around, but you don't know what they look like?" I asked, and he sighed.

"We know they're around, only because Alice has mentioned it once or twice." He answered, "We haven't been able to find them yet." That made sense, "We just don't know what we're looking for. That makes it a hell of a lot harder."

"Just follow their scent." I suggested, "Can't you find them that way?"

"Alice's visions don't give scents." Emmett shook his head a little, "She only knows what they look like."

"Mine did." I argued, "I remember that much."

"Yours are probably more realistic to you, because you're from a newer generation." Alice's reply took my attention. I looked over as Alice and Jasper descended the stairs, "Mine are real in the fact that I can see what they're going to do. You actually experience everything in the vision. Sight, touch, smell, even if it doesn't involve you."

"Mine always involve me. I've never had one that doesn't."

"Maybe yours is centered only around you?" She frowned a little, "That could be why yours are so much more real to you. That could be your limitation."

"That doesn't help me now, does it?" I mumbled, sitting down, "That's actually more of a pain in the ass."

"I can definitely see how that will be a problem the more she develops her gift." Jasper spoke up, "Especially if she crosses a vision with a less than.. Pleasant outcome."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I grumbled.

"That also explains why she's having such a hard time." Esme spoke up from where she now stood beside Carlisle. I hadn't even seen her enter the room, "It's difficult for her to tell the difference between what she saw in her vision, and now. The memory of the vision is just as real, and she's trying so hard to remember."

"I don't have enough room in my head." I mumbled, "And I don't know what to do to fix that. Well," I corrected, "I do, but I'm not going to even mention that, because that's definitely not an option. The last thing we need right now is for Aro to show up early. I could go the rest of my life without seeing him."

I sighed, looking back down.

I had too much on my shoulders now. There was Alyssa, and her entire situation. Trying to decide whether or not to betray her trust by telling someone about her bruises before they faded. There was trying to figure out why her mother would treat her children that way. There was trying to figure out what, if anything, I could do to make it easier on her.

There was facing school tomorrow, but I didn't feel any more up to it than I had on Sunday. With knowing how many people would be asking about my new scratches, and now there were the two psychos intent on getting ahold of me.

Ithaca was a huge city.

Even if they did search for them, my family or the police, it'd take forever to find them with as many humans as there were in this city. Especially with my family having to live their lives around the position of the sun.

I couldn't take this much stress for very long.

"Don't worry so much, shorty." Emmett noticed, "You're still a kid."

"It doesn't feel that way to me." I replied quietly, "It really doesn't. I just.. I don't know what to do."

"I know it seems like a lot, but it's really not." Alice told me, and I looked her way, "You have all of us committed to keeping you safe. Without physically going to that school, and pulling you out, they can't get to you. And the first fit you throw, they'll know something's not right."

"Doesn't mean they'll do anything." I muttered, "And who knows? They might not even care. Pay enough money, anybody will look the other way."

"Surely not." Esme murmured, surprised, "Not when it comes to children."

"It's true." I replied, "It happens all the time. I know Jack, and he'll find a way around anything. He's very good at getting away with whatever he wants, and he changes the rules of the game at any time."

It was quiet for a moment, and I looked down with a heavy sigh.

"But I'll go." I mumbled, "If that's what you really want, I'll go. I can't fight anymore. I'm too tired."

"You're staying home." Carlisle told me, and I looked up, "You're not going back." That gained everyone else's attention as well. They hadn't been expecting that any more than I had been.

"Carlisle?" Alice asked, shocked.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief, "B-But what about-"

"We'll deal with that when it comes up." He replied, "I'm not putting you in danger anymore. I won't sit around and wait for the day you don't come back."

I couldn't help standing, crossing the room and hugging him. Even if it was the least of my worries, it was still a part of one of the biggest of my worries, and he just cleared that up.

"Thank you." I whimpered, "Thank you."

"Carlisle." Alice spoke up again, and he glanced to her, "A word?" Carlisle sighed, but gave me a confident smile as I stepped back. I watched Alice and Esme lead him into the kitchen.

I couldn't help being nervous. Would she really try to change his mind?

"That was surprising." Jasper spoke up, taking my attention before I could worry too much, "Alice didn't even see that coming."

"I wonder why he would suddenly make that decision." I mumbled.

"He sees as well as we all do what this tension is doing to you." Jasper replied, "If that's what it takes to ease at least a bit of worry for you, I'd have done the same thing."

"Then why is Alice so worried?"

"She's concerned about the possible consequences of such a rash decision." He answered, "That's all."

"What consequences?" I asked, unable to help it.

"She's concerned that pulling you out of school will teach you the wrong message." He explained, "How keeping up a fit for so long will always get you your way."

"That's not it at all." I mumbled, glancing toward the kitchen, before looking back to him, "I know I'm not safe there. I just want to be safe, and I know I don't fit there. Trying to pretend I do is just stupid. I'm not like them. I never have been."

"You seem to have made a friend there, shorty." Emmett offered and I looked down.

"Alyssa is just.. She's like me." I replied quietly, "We're not so different."

"What do you mean by that?" Jasper asked, catching on. Probably not completely, but I should have shut my mouth anyway.

"Well," I mumbled, "There's them, and there's us. We just get each other, I guess. We understand where the other is coming from on things. I never knew before this passed weekend just how alike we were."

"On how many levels?" Jasper asked, studying me.

"Plenty." I answered, studying him right back. He seemed suspicious now, and I could see how he wasn't going to let it go, so I continued, "I promised I wouldn't say anything."

"Okay." He said, still suspicious, "But if it was something important, you'd let us know, wouldn't you?" I hesitated.

"Shorty?" Emmett prompted, and I looked down.

"Leandra?" Jasper took my attention again, "Please tell me you didn't tell her anything?"

"What? No." I said instantly, shaking my head as I looked to him, "No. I would never tell anybody anything. I swear." That seemed to ease him, "No. That.. That's always safe. No reason would ever be good enough to let that secret out. I know how important it is for me to keep it."

He nodded, and I sighed a little.

"Then what is it that makes you so nervous?" He asked.

"It's a secret of hers." I finally said, "Not ours." I sighed, looking down again, "One I promised to keep before I knew how bad it was." My tone reflected just how much this was bothering me. I knew that. I couldn't help it.

I had to think about it, though. If I were in her position, would I rather be safe? Or would I rather be stuck in the same, painful situation just because I was scared?

"This really worries you." Jasper pointed out, his tone quieter.

"It scares me, because I don't know what to do." I admitted sadly, keeping my eyes down.

"If you promised before you knew, then how does that still obligate you to keep such a secret?" Emmett asked, concerned as well. They could tell.

"Because I re-promised." I mumbled, "I shouldn't have." I clenched my teeth, shaking my head. I was letting too much slip. My foot bounced nervously, and I hardly noticed.

"If it's that big of a secret, shorty, you need to say something." Emmett told me, "If it's bothering you this much-"

"It's not about me, though." I said, "It's not my job to tell anyone anything. It's hers. Can we just drop it?"

"I'll get it out of you one of these days." Emmett challenged, and I appreciated his attempts to make a joke.

"I'm good at keeping secrets." I replied quietly, sadly looking back down, "It's what I do." Given the way his expression saddened, he understood what I was referring to. If only he knew how closely related Alyssa's secret was to the one I had the year before.

Sure, I could tell my close friend wasn't going through half of what I went through, given her nearly unshakable positive outlook to things, but I wasn't about to let that ease my conscience any. I wasn't about comfort myself with the thought that it wasn't that bad, because it was still bad.

What she went through, sure wasn't exactly the same as what I'd gone through, but it was still bad. It wasn't supposed to happen. Kids weren't meant to be beaten, or yelled at. Never.

However, her confiding in me put me into a position where no matter what, I felt like a horrible person. I had no right moves. Tell, and let her be mad at me for betraying her trust? Or keep my mouth shut, and let her suffer?

But what would Mikah think if he found out I knew, and never brought it up? If he didn't know, how would he feel?

This was tough. I could tell it would get a whole lot harder to stay quiet if something were to happen.

Carlisle never went back on what he told me, so as the evening went on, I had no choice but to believe him. However, I wanted to give Alyssa the news. I knew she wouldn't take it well, but I knew if I were to explain, instead of just disappear, it'd keep her from wandering over here for answers of her own. As nervous as I was, I asked if I could go to her house.

"I'll take her." Emmett offered in my favor, "We'll be there and right back."

It wasn't hard to get an agreement with Emmett agreeing to walk with me, so we left on foot into the pale evening light. I hoped it wasn't too late, and I hoped I wouldn't get her into trouble.

With me perched on Emmett's back practically the entire way, it wasn't hard to feel safe as I pointed out where to go.

He let me down only when we got there, and I hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Alex." Grant, their father, was home, "Get the door."

Sure enough, the door opened a few seconds later, and his eyes found us. He smiled once he knew it was me, and he grinned as his eyes found Emmett.

"Hey." He said, "Come on in, guys. Aly's upstairs, but I'll go get her."

"Thanks." I murmured, following him inside. Emmett looked around curiously, and I couldn't help noticing how out of place he seemed in such a small space.

"Well, look who it is." I looked over at an older boy's voice. I recognized him as her oldest brother Jonathan, the one at the top at the stairs that night. He grinned a little, leaning against the door frame of the living room. He seemed more intimidating now, but having Emmett there with me made it better. I glanced up at Emmett beside me, watching him study Jonathan closely with a slight smirk.

"Mikah's not here, so if you wanted to see him too, sorry." Jonathan chuckled, "He'll probably be back later tonight though if you wanted to try another late night trip."

Thankfully, I didn't have to tell him to shut up, as Alex and Alyssa came back down the stairs. I looked up, watching her descend the stairs.

"Hey." I greeted quietly.

"Hey." She greeted just as quietly. Glancing to Jonathan, she looked to me again, "Talk out back? Alone?"

"Ten minutes, Aly." Jonathan told her, "Remember you're grounded." She didn't reply, taking my hand instead. Tugging me through the house, up the thin hallway toward the back of the house.

She struggled with the sliding glass door, pushing it open just enough to let us through. Closing it behind herself. We stood on the back porch, nothing but the dim porch-light to illuminate the darkening yard.

"I'm sorry I wasn't in school today." She told me before I could speak, and I frowned, "I stayed home."

Worry exploded in my stomach, "Why?" She looked down, "Alyssa?"

"Mom came home Saturday afternoon," She finally admitted, "And she was just.. So mad. Dad told her what happened Friday night, and let's just say I was on her shit-list all weekend after that." She looked down. She didn't want to say, but it was becoming clearer by how she was acting that she really didn't need to.

"And?" I pressed, and she stayed quiet.

"I couldn't go to school today." She answered, "So I told dad I was sick."

"Alyssa, tell me." I mumbled, and she gave me a look I recognized so many times in my reflection. I could see the pain she didn't admit to.

No. She didn't have to say a word.

She didn't go to school because she hurt too much. Probably from the new beating she'd gotten. I'd been there many times, so I understood, but that just made everything more serious.

"How bad?" My voice shook a little and she turned a little, slowly raising her shirt over her back. I covered my mouth to keep from either throwing up or shouting. I was horrified.

A living, breathing memory of the marks I always got met my eyes. Still not quite as bad as what I used to live with, but it was still so much closer than it had been just days ago. Even in the dim porch light, I could see the short, thin shadows the welts created. Though she only showed just a bit of the skin of her back, I knew it was just as bad over the rest of her back.

She lowered her shirt, turning to face me. Giving me another look I recognized. She was sorry. I didn't know what to do. I could feel it, though. The anger.

The anger returned, this time hand-in-hand with a deep sense of desperation. I needed to do something. To fix it. _That_ wasn't meant to happen. _That_ was never supposed to happen. Not to anyone, and I'd make sure it didn't happen again.

But _how_ was I supposed to do that?

"Where is she now?" I wasn't surprised to find my voice angry, which seemed to throw her off for a moment.

"She's upstairs, b-but-"

I turned before she could finish, struggling with the stubborn door.

"Leandra, stop." She said, pulling me away from the door, pushing it back shut, "You can't do anything about it."

"I'm done promising." I told her, "I can't anymore. At least I can tell your brother-"

"He knows." She said, "Everyone does." My eyes went back to hers.

"Even Mikah?" I asked, breathless.

"He's always gone when it happens." She said, shaking her head a little, "He knows something's up though. I won't tell him, either, because I know he'll do something stupid."

"I hope he does!" It was a real fight to lower my voice, "Alyssa, I can't keep my promise. I can't do it, because I know how that feels." Her eyes widened.

"You have to!" I heard the hint of desperation in her tone.

"I can't!" She had to hear my own desperation. It hurt me to see her hurt, and it would hurt me even more when she got even more hurt while I kept this secret. I couldn't do it, "Think about it. You're not always going to be around to protect Emily. What happens when she loses her temper with her? Huh? What's to stop her from-"

"Don't you think I've thought of that?"

I took a deep breath, looking down.

"If I ever meet that bitch," I finally growled, "I'll rip her throat out." Her eyes widened a little as she heard just how much I felt and meant every word, so I continued, "I'm not going to be at school anymore. Personal reasons. When I leave here, Alyssa, I'll keep your secret. I'll keep it, if that's what you really want, but when you die, I won't say I _fucking_ told you so. I'm not coming back here to see how much worse it's gotten. I _can't_ watch it."

I left her standing there. I went back inside, stepped back through the house and passed Emmett. I meant to leave, but I couldn't leave fast enough.

"What's got your undies in a twist, missy?" Jonathan asked from where he still stood. Spinning, I landed a nice punch against his stomach. Ignoring the way my hand and wrist exploded in pain. He coughed a bit, doubling over slightly as his breath left him.

"You're _worthless_." I growled between clenched teeth, and literally spat in his face, a deep glare on my face. I vaguely heard Alex's laughter from the living room.

"Shorty." Emmett followed me as I left.

Down the steps I stormed, making it to the street before spinning. Holding my hand to myself and stomping my foot a little. I was so pissed off, I couldn't even form proper words. Maybe one.

"Fuck!" My shouted voice echoed in the street around me as Emmett watched me struggle to contain my anger. My heart pounded in a familiar, but strange way. I almost couldn't feel my limbs anymore, and I just wanted to keep _hitting_. Hurting something, someone, just to make it easier on myself. I couldn't take it.

I wanted to hurt her mother, her brothers. The ones that knew, the ones that did nothing for her. For Alex. I hated them. I hated myself, I hated that _bitch_ in there for even thinking about mistreating her children. I hated her! I even hated Alyssa, for trying to make me keep this a secret, and I hated myself for agreeing to.

Turning, I looked around me for some sort of answer. Some way to make it easier to bear. I hated how I found nothing.

I couldn't even properly describe how mad I was right then. At everything. With no other way to express it, I took a swing at Emmett who tried to pick me up, "Don't touch me!"

My voice held a sharp edge to it, and I hated that too. I hated Emmett for trying to calm me down. I hated him for bringing me here, and I hated myself for wanting to come here. I didn't know what else to do.

I was furious.

"Calm down." He told me firmly, dodging my attempted punch, "Breathe."

"I'm sick of breathing!"

"Alright." He lifted me anyway, "Then just hold it until we get home, would you?"

I held my breath nearly the entire way, and instead of it calming me down, I stayed just as pissed, if not grew even more pissed off by the time he dropped me on the couch back at home. Backing away quickly as I climbed back to my feet and swung at him again.

"Calm down." Jasper was instantly aware of how angry I was, "What happened?"

"I don't know." Emmett muttered defensively, "I should have paid more attention, I know, but they went out back to talk, and she came back in all pissed off like this."

I was on my feet, pacing, but I could feel Jasper's efforts to calm me down. They weren't working that quickly.

Emmett sighed, "She punched what's-his-face, so I think her hand should probably be looked at."

"Fuck you!" I shouted at him, "I don't need a goddamn thing!"

"Calm down, Leandra." Jasper's voice was firmer, and he upped his efforts as I rounded to face him.

"Fuck you too!" I resisted his efforts now, and his eyes narrowed. Not backing down in the least.

"Hit me." He challenged, "I dare you. You'll learn quick to control that urge." I shocked myself by actually trying, and he caught my wrist easily. His hold was light, but he held on. Looking down at me, he stared me down. I glared up at him, not budging, "Get a hold of yourself."

"I'm not scared of you." My glare only heated.

"What is going on down here?" Carlisle descended the stairs quickly, Esme following.

"I don't know." Emmett repeated, "She was just like this after talking to Alyssa."

"Leandra?" Carlisle tried taking my attention.

"Give her a minute." Jasper stated, not taking his eyes off mine. His gaze was firm, but calm.

I held Jasper's solid gaze for a few more moments, feeling myself starting to calm down. I tried once to yank my hand away, but he didn't release his hold yet. Shaking his head a little.

Emmett spoke up, "What-"

"Shh." Jasper told him. It was silent, tense in the room while we stared each other down. A few minutes had passed now.

He held me that way, my wrist locked in his light grip, until my glare slowly eased, and I reluctantly looked away. Glancing to Carlisle briefly, then back up to Jasper, and finally down to the floor.

"That's much better." Jasper muttered, gently releasing my wrist. I took a breath, stepping back, "She needed a minute. That much anger took a moment to sort through."

I didn't comment, glancing back up at him, both confused and irritated at him for winning that round, but I wasn't as angry anymore. Without the amount of anger I had, though, came overwhelming unease. I was back to not knowing what to do, and the frustrating thing was, I knew what to do. I just didn't want to do it.

I sat down, holding my hand to my stomach, as I started to cry. Carlisle sat with me, and I willingly let him pull my hand over so he could look at it.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked, my hand in both of his as he looked it over.

Just like that, I couldn't lie anymore. I had to say something. Without another thought, I spoke up.

"She beats them." I cried, tears pouring from my eyes as I looked up at him, "Carlisle, she beats them. She beats her."

It went silent in the room.

"I told her I wouldn't tell, but I have to." I sobbed, "She can be mad at me all she wants to, but I have to."

"Leandra, I want you to be very careful, and think about what you're telling me." Carlisle told me calmly, "Are you sure that's what you-"

"I'm positive." I nodded, "I saw her bruises. I saw them. I know what those look like, Carlisle. I _know_ what I saw. I asked her, and she said that her mom beats her. And Alex. That's why she was so worried about her sister that night. That's why she had to keep going back to check on her."

I felt horrible for spilling everything. I really did, but I couldn't help it. I was far more talkative when I was angry, and Jasper wasn't helping with that. If she could know just how much holding onto that as long as I did hurt me, she'd understand why I did it.

"I'll do what I can." He told me, and I nodded. He continued looking over my hand, "How did this happen?"

"I hit Jonathan." I answered, "As hard as I fucking could."

"And it was effective." Emmett added, "I've never seen her do that before. It was pretty scary."

"Shut up." I muttered, wincing a little as Carlisle found a particularly sore spot.

"I'm not making fun of you." He replied, "I'm completely serious. That kid was solid."

"He's almost eighteen." I told him, "The oldest of all of the kids."

"Stay here." Carlisle sighed, watching as I nodded a little, and standing up.

My hand was wrapped, my wrist supported. Nobody said anything now as I stared at the floor. I couldn't look up now, and let them see my shame. I didn't know what could be done for Alyssa and her family, but Carlisle said he would do what he could. If that involved anything having to do with her finding out, she'd never forgive me.

I betrayed her, but for good reason. At least, that's what I told myself. I'd never felt so guilty. Even when I admitted to my own abuse. It ate at me worse than holding onto the secret had, and I knew it'd be awhile before I was safe to approach. If at all.

I sat in my room, days, closer to a week later, staring at the four long scratches across my arm I'd gotten from the cat. They'd healed to faded pink lines, but still clearly visible.

Once more thinking about Alyssa. My thoughts drifting back to that night, the night she came over. The shape was a little wrong, but I didn't focus on that. I remembered her scratches, and I remembered what she told me about them.

If she was already hurting so much, why would she want to hurt more? It still didn't make any sense to me, but I couldn't let it go. My mind fixated on it. I wanted to ask her about it, but I knew I couldn't face her. If I was right, she'd know somebody ratted by now.

It was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done, but I had to solve this curiosity. Other than trying it myself, I couldn't do that without going to see the one person I could ask. I had to go alone, because for the weirdest reasons, I wanted to hide my curiosity about it from my family. They didn't need to know I was tempted.

I would have to be quick, both in my escape and getting there, and I was.

Leaving the house, I raced over the grass in the back yard, scrambled over the wall, and using the trick Alyssa taught me, I tumbled down the hill as fast as I could.

I knew they knew I was gone, just by the sound of the back door. I'd be in so much trouble when I got back, it being late afternoon with no chance of the sun setting yet.

Nobody was allowed to follow me yet.

I was paranoid the entire way through town. I didn't see anything out of place, nobody even noticed I was there, but I knew better than to believe that meant I was fine. I walked quickly across the two streets, and practically jumped through the door into the store.

"Leandra?" Mikah seemed surprised to see me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I panted, "I'm fine, um.." I took a minute to catch my breath. Slowly approaching the counter, the store was empty aside from us. He didn't seem mad at me. He must not know?

Why was I about to bother him with this? He watched me, concerned as I caught my breath. How was I supposed to bring it up, anyway? Just be blunt about it? I didn't know what to say.

"Alyssa told me about the fight you two had." He said after a minute of silence, studying me, "What happened there?"

"How is she?" I asked quietly, unable to help it.

"She's had better days." He said, nodding a little, "But all of us have."

"Why?" I asked nervously.

"Well, the state's taken an interest. Apparently, someone thinks the kids are being abused." I looked down immediately, "But because none of them will complain, and do nothing but deny it when they're asked about it, they can't do anything. Not for lack of them trying. They can be pretty pushy."

He paused for a sigh.

"Mom's gone." He continued, "She's moving out next week, thank God. I know without that.." He paused, biting his tongue around the word he wanted to say before he tried again, "Without her around, things should settle down and start looking up."

"Good." I mumbled. That was one good thing, at least. All I'd been wanting to do was put a stop to the abuse, anyway. With her gone, at least they'd stop being beaten. If the worst that happened was her leaving, I could start to ease the guilt I felt.

Mikah spoke up again, "I just wish I knew who it was that told them that something was wrong."

"Me." I admitted quietly, and he looked to me, surprised, "I was the one that told."

"Leandra-"

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, shaking my head, "I just had to. I just couldn't keep lying. I've been beaten before, and believe me, without someone insisting, I never would have gotten away."

"None of those kids were being-"

"I know what I saw, Mikah." I argued quietly, "When you go home, look at Alyssa's back. There's the proof right there. Those marks can't be faked, or hidden." He frowned deeply, looking down, "I know what I saw. I don't care what she's told you."

"If that's the case," He finally said, "Thank you, Leandra." He was quiet after that.

"Trust me." I mumbled, "The bruises will still be there if you looked. Across her back."

"I wish you would have come to me about it first."

"I know." I said, "I wasn't thinking about who I told first, I just.. It just sort of came out, and-"

"It's alright." He sighed, "I'll take care of it." He finally sighed, and looked to me, "What brings you by?"

"I came to see you, actually." I mumbled, "There was something I wanted to ask you about."

"Which would be?" He prompted, "Any explanation for why you came flying in here like you were being chased?"

"Nope." I said, "And well.. Well, when Alyssa stayed over.." I hesitated, and he smirked.

"Out with it, princess."

"She showed me something that I was wondering if I could ask you about."

"Which was?" He asked.

"The scratches on her arm." I mumbled, "She said she did them herself, and I can't figure out why." He went quiet, and I glanced up. He looked down.

"Really?" He asked, "I guess there's more to her than I know." I waited, "What exactly were you wondering?"

"She said you used to do that too, so I-I thought-"

"Don't start doing that." He told me flatly, and I looked up, "If that's what you're considering, don't. It's a very hard habit to break, and there's really no point to it."

"She said it helps." I murmured, "How?"

"It doesn't." He replied quickly, "It doesn't in the least."

"B-But she-"

"I'll be talking to her as soon as I get home." He said, "She won't ever do that again, I can promise you."

"I didn't get her into trouble, did I?" I asked quietly, and he sighed.

"No." He replied, "I'm just going to talk to her. She's been keeping far too many secrets, and that needs to stop. That's all."

The door jingled behind me, signaling the arrival of another customer, effectively ending our conversation as I looked down.

"Afternoon." Mikah greeted the new customer, "You look lost."

"Diaper emergency." The customer's reply behind me was firm, with a laugh, "Can you point me the right direction?" I couldn't breathe. My stomach tumbled, and I could feel the color clear from my face. I could recognize that voice from anywhere.

I'd known it was a possibility the entire time, but the fact that Jack could be there right then was the most difficult thing to comprehend. Like being unable to believe what I knew I had heard. Like my mind was stuck in denial.

"Sure." Mikah chuckled, before he glanced back down to me, "You okay?"

"I have to go." I whimpered. I didn't wait for him to reply. I rounded, taking the five steps to the door in three, throwing open the door roughly.

I ran from the store as fast as I could.

It was very daring of him to try this at a very busy time of day, but then again, nobody here knew who he was.

I knew if I were to run, he wouldn't follow me. That'd just be stupid. He wasn't after me yet, anyway. He'd let me go. I knew him, and I knew he was playing a game. He wanted this reaction. He wanted to know I still feared him. He was trying to scare me.

Well, it worked!

I hadn't even had to see him to be scared of him.

Nobody followed me as I ran. Pushing, shoving people out of my way, I raced back up the sidewalk. My heart beating a thousand miles a minute, I couldn't even breathe enough to cry yet.

Teaching me a very hard lesson. I'd heard the proof right there behind me. At very least Jack was a very real threat to me again, and I wouldn't be stupid again. Never again.

Clawing my way up the hill, scratching myself up in my scramble back over the wall, I came flying in the back door, slamming it closed behind me. Thumping back against it, I started to sob heavily, sliding into a violently trembling ball in front of it. I wouldn't open my eyes, even when I sensed someone stepping forward. Kneeling in front of me.

I had to be losing my mind. There's no way he could have been there. No way.

"Leandra?" It was Esme in front of me, "Look at me, honey."

I only curled my arms over my head, hiding behind them.

"Which one was it?" She asked quietly, and I knew she understood. I couldn't stop crying long enough to answer her, so she tried again, "Honey, who was it?"

If she didn't know, that meant Alice didn't know, and that meant my mom had to have been with him somewhere. That thought only fueled more cries, and with a soft sigh, Esme lifted me.

"This is why we want you to be safe." She said, "I hate seeing you this way."

With her holding me this way, I had little choice but to calm down. Just like before.

She had such an ability to calm me down without even trying. She usually chose not to use it, but this was an exception. I wouldn't call it an ability, not like Jasper's, but a way about her that made it impossible to stay afraid. She kept a hold of me, eventually walking with me into the living room. Where the others stood. My chin rested on her shoulder, my arms around her neck. Staring behind her at the wall.

Despite how I didn't want to, I calmed down, but I could feel everyone's gaze on me. The unspoken scolds that just waited to come out.

Feeling my trembles die down, and my sobs fade, Esme asked me again.

"Who was it, sweetheart?" I stayed quiet. Sniffling, sitting straighter and hopping down.

"Leandra." Jasper's voice behind me told me he wasn't going to let this go.

Anyone else, being this scared by sneaking out would have been enough of a punishment, but not to him. Or Emmett beside him. Not to Alice, either. She wasn't going to stand up for me this time.

The fact that I had a very brief run-in with one of them only made it worse. I knew that, and I could understand their point of view, but I'd rather have avoided what I knew wouldn't be avoided.

"I know." I mumbled, "I know."

"No." Jasper corrected sharply, "No. You obviously don't. You're not going to be happy until you're gone, will you?"

"What?" I asked, frowning. His irritation, his frustration was pissing me off. Unless he was trying to test me to see how easily I got mad. If that was the case, this wouldn't end well.

"This is game to you, isn't it?" He demanded, "You live to tempt fate."

"No, but thanks for the idea." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest insecurely, "And besides. Isn't every second I'm around you tempting fate?"

"You're not getting it." He snapped right back, "They know where to look for you. They knew you were going to be alone, otherwise they wouldn't have even bothered to show up. That means they're watching you."

"I get it, okay?"

"No, you don't!"

Defensive now, I returned his tone, "Don't yell at me!"

"Then use your head!" He replied very sharply, "Just once, Leandra! Think before you do something!"

"Yeah, because _you're_ such an expert at that!" His eyes narrowed, "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even fucking be here! So before you start blaming me for the entire world going to shit, look at yourself first!"

"This isn't about me."

"Isn't it?" I spat, "You think you know so goddamn much? I don't even know what the fuck I'm supposed to feel anymore. I'm not allowed to be mad, I'm not allowed to cry, I'm not allowed to be scared. It's no fucking wonder I run off just so I can feel normal!"

"Leandra-"

"What do you say, Jasper?" I openly shouted now, "Am I allowed to breathe? Or should I stop doing that too? You've got everything under so much control, I thought I should _ask_ first."

"He's trying to help you, Leandra." Alice corrected me firmly.

"I don't fucking need help." I shouted at her now, something I hadn't done yet, "Who the fuck is he to decide what I feel? He's doing _nothing_ but making it worse."

"Calm down, shorty." Emmett didn't like how I was when I got like this. I hated it, too. I couldn't blame him.

"Maybe I should go find Jack." I growled their direction, "At least he knows what it takes to raise an animal like me. At least _he_ doesn't try to treat me like something I'm not. I'm _not_ normal! Fuck all of you for trying to treat me like I am!"

I rounded, meaning to jog up the stairs, but Jasper grabbed my arm. I lunged to bite him, without even thinking. He moved in reflex, releasing me. Not waiting for another attempt, I turned again.

"You need to lose that." Jasper called after me, "I mean it. You're not a newborn anymore, Leandra."

That distracted me enough to turn halfway up the stairs, "What?"

That was a statement I hadn't been expecting, and it completely stole my attention from how angry I was. I recognized that term, despite not having heard it before. My breathing still raced from the effort I'd given to be angry, but I watched, confused now, as he slowly climbed the stairs to stand beside me.

Studying me like he had the night about a week ago.

"I couldn't figure out why you would resort to biting when you had so many other options available." He said, "Carlisle couldn't figure it out either, considering you show very little to no other signs of a feral nature. And the ones you do show, aren't how they should be."

"Meaning..?"

"You're wild, but not wild enough to call for that kind of behavior." He answered, "We couldn't understand it, until you mentioned that in your vision, you'd been turned. Then it made sense. How long, do you know, had you been like us?"

His suddenly civil form of questioning confused me. It threw me off, as if we hadn't just been arguing loudly with each other.

"I'm betting just a few hours." He said, "I would bet that you'd only had those instincts just a few hours, before you woke up suddenly, and had to figure out how to be human again. It explains so much, Leandra."

"Were we just fighting?" I was honestly confused now. It stole my focus.

"This is very interesting to me." He said, "How a human can have, although limited, instincts and tendencies of a newborn."

"Newborn?" I had to ask what that meant.

"A newly turned vampire." He explained, "It's fascinating how though you're completely human, you don't follow your basic human instincts. At least when it comes to our kind."

"O-Okay?" I didn't understand a bit of what he was saying.

"Your friend, Alyssa was the first to point it out." He told me, "She brought it to my attention that you don't have the same reactions other humans would, and by all means, should have when coming across our kind for the first time. I thought, originally, it was because as you pointed out, you'd met us before. In the vision, but I don't think that's it. You regard us differently than humans should."

"I'm weird." I reminded him.

"Given the opportunity, now more of those tendencies are coming forward in a more forceful way. You don't know what to do with yourself, because you woke up human that day, but those instincts are taking a bit longer to fade."

I narrowed my eyes a little, trying so hard to understand.

"Leandra, it's not that you hate other people just because they're there." He said, "You just have so much anger, more than you're capable of feeling. That's why it was so difficult for me to predict your emotions before. You became much more predictable when I went with my theory, and considered you as I would consider a newborn, and you became much more familiar to me."

"If you say so." I muttered.

"It'll be easier from now on, now that I know what to do." He told me, nodding.

Why did that make me nervous?

**A/N: Oh man so much went on in this chapter. I hope you were able to keep up with everything.  
Our little animal is growing up. :') Or getting worse. Both.  
THANK YOU to those that chose to review the previous chapter! Hearts to you all!  
Chapter ten moves us along a lot quicker, so be prepared for that.  
The end of this story is within the next couple of chapters, just as an indication of how this is going to go.  
Next story changes even more than this one.  
That's all I'm gonna say for now.  
Until ten, my wonderful readers! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Importantish note: It gets a little depressing toward the middle here, guys. Be on the look out for some not-so-nice confessions from Leandra.**

**Chapter Ten**

"This is stupid." I muttered under my breath.

"No it's not." Esme laughed, "Jasper did say that when you're focused, your emotions are easier for both you and him to control. This is a good way to keep you focused."

The next morning, I sat pouting at the kitchen table. I hadn't had the most sleep the night before, plagued by Jack all night. I knew crossing paths with him would reenforce those nightmares, even if I never saw his face, but I hadn't anticipated just how much.

My arms on the table in front of me, my hands flat against the top.

She gestured to the calendar like page on the wall beside the doorway, "A list of daily household chores are going to hang here, and once a day, you'll choose one to do. Just one. It won't kill you." She saw the look on my face, "Once you correctly complete it, you're done for the day, and you can cross off that day. At the end of one week, if you've completed one chore a day without complaint, you get a reward."

Just one? That didn't sound so bad. It would give me something to do since I wasn't in school anymore, and if it kept my thoughts from wandering too much, why not?

"What do you say?" She smiled, and I sighed.

"Okay." I agreed, "I can do that."

She was going to have me start tomorrow, but I found myself eager to start helping. I wanted to help, instead of hurt for once.

And just like that, I started doing better. Daily, from then on, I put my entire focus on my task, and with just that short break each day, it was like being able to shut off my mind for a little while. It was working.

Each day, I found myself wishing the chores she'd chosen were harder to do. I often, to her pleasant surprise, chose to do more than one a day, and every time, she seemed happy with the job I'd done. I looked forward to her telling me what a good job I'd done.

It definitely made me feel better.

My first week's reward was a trip to the movies. Getting me out of the house with both Esme and Carlisle. Despite my worry, I knew both of them were constantly aware of everything going on around us, so I knew they'd keep me safe.

As well as giving me some time away from the house, I knew it made Carlisle feel better to be the one with me. Just so he didn't have to worry about what was going on with me, and I wouldn't complain. I always looked forward to being able to spend time with him.

I looked up to him about as much as I looked up to Esme. Esme probably knew that, so she suggested he be the one to come with us.

I worked even harder the second week, hoping for another reward like the one I got before. It wasn't like I didn't see Carlisle that often, but he always seemed distracted on some level. Like he was paying attention to something else at the same time.

I couldn't blame him. My thoughts often moved toward the less distressing things I had to worry about, too. Alyssa especially. I wondered how she was doing, and I wondered how Mikah was doing. I hadn't seen Mikah since that day, and I knew soon, I would have to head to the store. Just to see him.

But so far, I hadn't gotten up the courage to ask. Both because I was worried they'd say no, and I was scared to go that direction again. Despite the way that I knew he'd never be stupid enough to try anything if I had one, or both of my brothers with me.

It was mid December before we saw any snow. I missed the rain, and snow was nothing like rain, but it was something at least. The cloudy day was a very welcome change. Not only for me, I knew, but for the family as well. It'd been sunny pretty much every day since we got here, and that made them careful.

Days like today, when the clouds covered any hint of sunlight, they didn't have to be.

This had to be the longest stretch without a mess-up I'd gone with them before. A solid month without cussing in anger, or running off. Sometimes I still cussed when I messed up, or hurt myself somehow, but that was it. I was doing good.

I had the strongest feeling, however, that that was about to change.

Today, Alice felt the need to decorate for Christmas, and the first wreath I saw hanging up, my mood plummeted. I kept it in, though. Ignored it for the most part. I just stared out the window at the falling snow as Alice went nuts. Hanging stuff up, putting stuff out, lighting stuff up. I hated all of it.

I loathed the holiday, and wanted nothing to do with it.

"Leandra," She smiled from behind me, "Do you want to-"

"Not really." I mumbled, not bothering to turn.

"But you seem so bored." She said, "It's something to do." She knew how I always jumped at something to do. I wouldn't now, though. I shook my head, hoping she would listen, "Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind." Sitting on the padded sill seat, I leaned my head against the window as I brought my knees up to my chest.

I was fine watching the snow. The first snowfall of winter, and it already coated the front yard. It had been snowing all night.

Truth was, I was lonely. Sure, I had my family, but currently, I couldn't even turn around. I didn't want to see the decorated living room. I didn't want to be reminded of the stupid holiday, so I watched outside instead.

"Shorty." I didn't even look at Emmett trying to take my attention.

"What?" I muttered quietly.

"What's bugging you?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"You are, at the moment." I replied, and he chuckled.

"Come on." He said, "It's been forever since you were like this. Why all of a sudden?"

"I suddenly feel like it." I sighed, drawing a pattern in the slight fog on the window with my finger.

"Let's go outside." He offered, "Maybe you're just cooped up."

I had to admit. That definitely sounded like a better idea than sitting there, hating every move Alice made.

"Okay." I agreed, standing. I kept my eyes down as I went upstairs to get my coat and shoes on. It only took a few minutes, before I came back down. Slipping out the front door, I instantly felt the cold nip at my nose and cheeks, probably turning them pink.

I found Emmett waiting for me across the yard with a hefty snowball in his hand and an evil smirk on his face.

"That's not fair." I warned, unable to help smiling.

I didn't even see him throw it before I suddenly had a face full of snow and I landed on my butt. I quickly cleared the snow from my face, my skin stinging at how cold it was. When I looked around again, Emmett was gone.

"Oh, come on!" I called, laughing as I stood back up.

I built my own snowball anyway, heading to the other side of the yard. Where I last saw him. I couldn't find him, until another large ball of snow hit my head from above. Exploding on my head in frozen confetti. I looked up, to see he'd jumped onto the roof.

"Cheater." I told him, and he sat down in the snow. Smiling innocently at me.

"Bet you throw like a girl." He told me, and I narrowed my eyes.

"I am a girl, dummy." I countered, throwing the snowball in my hand up at him. He let it hit him squarely in the face. Sitting there for a few seconds, until he started to fake cry. I smiled. He always knew how to cheer me up. Sometimes, his efforts didn't work, but that was when I was really determined to stay in a sour mood.

It took perhaps thirty minutes, until our little one-sided snow battle turned into something more fun. Jasper and Alice joined us outside, and Alice regained a few points with me, by joining my little team, and of course, Jasper wasn't going to leave Alice to defend herself alone.

Now it was Emmett's turn to pout that it wasn't fair.

With snow dusting his hair, he peeked up over the wall in time to receive a snowball straight to the face. Alice hadn't thrown that one, so we looked the direction it had come from, and found Jasper smirking from across the street.

After that, the battle went from a battle, to a war. Forgetting about us girls, Emmett and Jasper continued on hunting each other on a more intense level.

After enough of that, I started getting bored, and threatened to go back inside. Emmett quickly cut it out, and suggested something else. I thanked Alice for helping me out, and she grinned. She and Jasper went back inside, leaving us outside.

Since it had been snowing the entire night, and most of the day, there was more than enough snow to build a pretty decent sized snowman. Especially with as much room as we had in the yard.

The butt part of it was almost as tall as I was. Thankfully, Emmett had no problem lifting the only slightly smaller middle part, otherwise it would have been a sideways snowman. For the head, I could just barely lift that. Definitely not high enough to put it on top, but Emmett lifted me on his shoulders, so I could.

"Shorty." He told me with a smirk, and I knew he was picking on me.

"Shut up." I said, resting the smaller boulder of snow on Emmett's head, "I'm working on it." He knew I meant growing taller.

"You're like fifty pounds." He pointed out. I was actually surprised he didn't point that out every time.

"Fifty-eight, thank you." I muttered, kicking him a little.

"And how tall are you?" I narrowed my eyes at his questioning.

"Three-eight." I answered, though he already knew, "Shut up. I know I'm small."

"You're not small." He said, "You're compact. There's a difference."

"I'm small." I laughed a little incredulously, "Carlisle says I still haven't caught up yet. I'm where an eight-year-old should be."

"You'll catch up." He said, "I'll start sneaking you some cookies."

"No." I laughed again, "I'll just get fat. Now hold still." I lifted the snowman's head, leaning forward and dropping it where it needed to be.

He held still, but continued talking, "You're too skinny."

"I'll live." I muttered in concentration, "I haven't died yet."

I'd just punched the head off the snowman for not sitting right when Carlisle got home. That was the only way I knew how much time had passed. Finally paying attention now, I noticed how it'd started getting dark.

Out of the blue, Emmett lobbed a snowball Carlisle's direction as he made his way toward the front door, but Carlisle moved just in time, and it poofed against the window instead with enough force to rattle the glass. That was enough to cure my irritation at the stupid snowman's head, and made me laugh.

I could imagine how much trouble Emmett would have gotten in if that snowball had broken the window. I almost wished it had.

"Nice try." Carlisle chuckled. I stayed balanced on Emmett's shoulders as he crossed his arms.

"You're too quick." Emmett pouted a little, "I'll get you, though. Don't you worry about that." Carlisle only smiled, shaking his head.

"Now we have to fix the head." Emmett laughed, already gathering snow again as Carlisle made his way inside, "Or poor Frosty's gonna stay headless."

"My fingers hurt." I told him, "You do it." It was true. My fingers were frozen stiff. He took my hand in his, pulling it around so he could look at my light pink fingers.

"Next time, wear some gloves." He said, releasing my hand and I nodded. He quickly built a perfectly round ball of snow much too small to be a head, and plopped it right where it was supposed to go before he turned, and headed for the door. I guess it was time to go in.

I scrunched down as he did, so he could fit through the door without knocking me out on the door frame.

I almost didn't want to go inside, but I was too cold to stay outside. I just wanted to get warm. Even thoughts of getting warm no longer mattered, though, as we went inside, and I gave an involuntary look around. Green, red and silver of many different shades met my eyes everywhere I looked, and I hated it.

Reaching up, Emmett easily lifted me off of him, and set me on my feet.

"Go put dry clothes on, shorty." He said, and I immediately obeyed. Loving the excuse to get away from the Christmas decorations.

Thankfully, nobody pressed. I knew they noticed my mood, but probably just assumed I was headed for another troubled week or something. I really didn't want to admit the reason.

The days passed too quickly after that.

I still did my chores eagerly each day, always doing more than I had to, but it was harder to hide from my memories at each look around the lower portion of the house, and smelling the Christmas-sy smells. Cinnamon and pine. It made me sick.

Christmas Eve night, sometime before ten that night, I sat lounging on the couch with Emmett. I laid on my side along the couch, him at my feet, occasionally kicking him just for the hell of it as we watched some Christmas movie on TV.

"This movie is stupid." I mumbled, and he looked over.

"It's a classic." He replied incredulously, "How can you think it's stupid?"

"You're a classic." I reminded him, "I'm not."

"So now you're calling me old?"

"Well, the way you said 'classic', you made it seem like a good thing." I smiled a little.

"Nice save." He murmured, narrowing his eyes. I paid no attention to Esme descending the stairs quickly, heading into the kitchen for Alice and Rosalie. Excited, as if she just got good news. Carlisle followed slower, coming to stand beside the couch.

Instead of being curious, I raised my foot and kicked Emmett on the shoulder. Apparently having enough, he grabbed my ankle lightly and tugged me closer. He started biting my sock covered toes with a growl. He didn't bite hard, but it tickled, and I couldn't help laughing. Instantly struggling, kicking at his face with my other foot.

"Stop." I giggled, "You're getting my sock all wet and soggy."

He stopped biting my toes, and looked at me, "Well, you're getting my mouth all socky."

"Well, whose fault is that?" I countered, kicking his face again. He huffed, releasing my ankle. I sniffed smugly, adjusting my pajama top's sleeves. I loved this set of pajamas, because they were too big, and very warm. It wasn't that I was cold why I wore them. I just loved how soft they were. Like wearing a blanket.

Carlisle continued to stand there as I rolled away. Sitting at the other end of the couch now as we got back to watching the stupid movie.

It was calm again, and the movie was so boring, I was considering going upstairs to bed. Until the door opened. I bolted even further upright, knowing everyone was already home.

Panic flooded through me in a split second and I all but flew up off the couch with a muted scream, and streaked straight for the kitchen where I knew Alice and Rosalie sat, probably talking about clothes, and other girl shit.

I was already up to speed, so trying to stop and round the corner, I slid on the smooth floor in my fluffy socks. My feet slid from under me, causing me to hit the solid wood floor with a grunt. Sliding into a table against the wall full speed, somehow having turned to hit almost face first. Rattling the glass figures on the table audibly.

I thought that only happened in movies.

"Leandra." Emmett was dying of laughter behind me, "Oh god, shorty, I have never seen you move that fast. Come back. It's just Eddy."

"What a greeting." Edward's voice confirmed Emmett's statement.

"Ow." I muttered, scooting back. I wasn't nearly as amused, though, as Alice was, peering out from the kitchen. She laughed just as much as Emmett did. Esme even wore a small, sympathetic smile as she helped me up.

"My, Leandra. I had no idea you were so graceful." Alice grinned, trying to hide her laughter now. Rosalie clearly found it amusing as well, actually smiling from where she sat. Esme dusted me off a little, and I nodded up at her. Letting her know I was fine. Now I knew what had her so excited, as she hesitantly at first left my side, and headed straight for Edward.

"Bite me." I grumbled over at Alice.

By the time I made it back into the living room, Esme was still hugging him.

"I'm fine, if anybody else but mom cares." I muttered under my breath.

I let it go, though, looking at Edward. He looked like crap. Not doing well at all. He looked worse than I did, and I hadn't slept more than three or four hours a night for the passed week. That seemed to have caught his attention.

"And why not?" He asked me, and I paused.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Right." I muttered, "I forgot about your gift for a minute, I guess." He smirked but that was it. It faded immediately, and I knew someone answered him with their thoughts.

"Speaking of," Esme spoke up, looking to me, "I think it's about that time. Time for bed."

I sighed, but shrugged.

"I'll just be up again in thirty minutes." I was tired, though. I didn't see the harm in trying. She followed me up the stairs. She'd made it a habit lately to be there while I fell asleep. Somehow that helped a little. If she didn't stay while I fell asleep, I got even less sleep.

Kneeling up on my bed, I kicked off my socks, and pulled my hair loose from the band I had in. I wasn't looking forward to sleeping, as tired as I was, and I knew she knew that.

"Can I just sleep through tomorrow?" I had to ask, letting her know for the first time how much I didn't look forward to it.

"Why?" She asked, and I looked down. I hesitated, before deciding to change the subject.

"How long is Edward staying?" I asked curiously. She sighed, smiling sadly.

"We never know." She told me quietly.

"I hope for awhile." I admitted, "He doesn't look like he should be alone."

"I know." She replied, gently stroking my hair. Giving me another sad smile, she sighed, "Lay down, honey. Get some rest." I nodded, crawling under the blanket and laying down with a sigh.

"Can you leave the light on when you leave?" I had to ask.

"Of course." She replied as she brought the blanket up more securely around me, and I forced a smile.

"Thanks." I murmured, yawning.

As with every other night recently, I kept my eyes open as long as I could while Esme sat with me, but somehow, trying to force myself to stay awake while laying down comfortably, it became harder to keep my eyes open.

Eventually, I closed my eyes to rest them, and fell asleep.

Somewhere during the night, while I was sleeping, I was aware of a quiet conversation around me. Like a dream, but somewhere a few steps before consciousness.

"You're really in your element, Esme." I vaguely recognized Edward's voice, "It can't be easy."

"She just seems so unhappy sometimes." Esme's voice was closer, but still a quiet murmur, "She seems so lost, and I don't know how to help her."

"You must be doing something right." Edward's quiet reply, "She adores you. She adores everyone, but you most. Carlisle, a close second."

"I worry about how much harder it's going to be on her as she grows up." Esme admitted sadly, and vaguely, I felt her smooth my hair back from my forehead, "If only she could stay this small."

"That isn't how it works." I could hear the smile in Edward's reply.

"Just for a little while." She said, "She deserves some extra time to be a child."

"She's had so much stolen from her." Edward agreed, "So much taken, and she doesn't even realize it yet." I couldn't stop the quick, shallow sigh. Indicating I was somewhat awake now. I didn't hear anything else after that, so I must have fallen back to sleep.

Unfortunately, being allowed to sleep now, I dreamed.

Just for once, I wanted the dreams normal kids had. I wanted to dream about stupid stuff. Stuff I did the day before, or stuff I wanted. I wanted to dream about nothing, just for a break from what I always saw as I slept. I just wanted a break from the pain.

Waking with tears in my eyes and dampening my pillow, I hated this memory. I hated it so much, and just downstairs, there was so much to remind me of it. Just downstairs were all the decorations, like celebrating this horrible memory.

It was just after dawn that I sat up, and I noticed that more clouds had moved in overnight. Snow fell outside, but that didn't help me today. My stomach hurt, but not enough to use an excuse to stay in bed all day.

I crossed the room quickly, locking the door before returning to my bed. I knew that'd alert them to the fact that I was awake now, but I knew they'd come knocking when I didn't come downstairs.

I expected the knock at the door. Laying back down, I curled around a pillow with my back to the door, trying to focus on the snow falling outside.

Whoever was on the other side of the door, probably Alice, wasn't buying it. Knocking again.

"Leandra?" Just as I thought, it was Alice.

"Please, just leave me alone, Alice." I mumbled into my pillow, gripping it tighter.

She called back, "Come on. Come out. I promise it won't be that bad."

"It's already bad." I countered, "Just leave me alone. I budged on my birthday, but I'm not budging today, so go away."

"Come on, shorty." Emmett was at my bedroom door now, "It's Christmas. At least make an appearance."

"I'm not stupid. I know what day it is." I sighed, "And I'm not stupid. I know the second I leave this room, you won't let me hide again."

"Why are you hiding, honey?" Esme asked. She was there too. I sighed heavily. They wouldn't understand. I squeezed my eyes shut, turning my face into the pillow I curled around.

"Try again tomorrow." I suggested.

I hated Christmas with a passion. I hated the sight of it, the mention of it, even the idea of it. Everything about it bothered me on a very deep level, and every year, it was like this. Vaguely, I noticed how I hadn't even known my family for a year, since they'd never seen me quite like this. They didn't know I hated this holiday yet.

"Leandra-"

"Go away." I sighed, "I'm not coming out until tomorrow when all this stupid Christmas shit is gone."

"Even to eat?" Emmett asked, and I sighed.

"Even to eat." I mumbled, "I just want to be left alone. Please."

I knew they were confused, but they'd learn. I really wasn't up to trying to be cheerful today. Not today of all days. This was just one of my things. I couldn't do it. I couldn't act like nothing was wrong.

I felt it in my stomach, the way memories like this always made me feel. Not just sad, but something else. Depression, maybe? I didn't know, but it made it hard to breathe around the emotion stuck in my throat.

Another, quieter knock at the door had me closing my eyes again.

"Leandra." It was Carlisle, "Come on out."

"No." I replied instantly.

"You can't spend today alone." He spoke again, "It won't be that bad."

"It's already that bad." I countered again, "Just leave me alone." I just wanted to stay bitter. What was so wrong with that?

"Stop it, Jasper." I barked, knowing he was trying. Instantly, his efforts faded. Since our last argument, he made the effort to respect my wishes.

Edward couldn't help reading my thoughts, but Jasper could choose whether or not to manipulate my emotions. If I told him not to, he wouldn't. Unless I was really upset.

Aside from the extreme cases, during one of my infamous melt-downs. I wasn't pissed off right now. I wasn't angry, or hitting people, so he left my emotions alone.

"Leandra, open the door." Carlisle yet again, "You don't have to come out, but at least let me in."

"It's a trick." I shook my head, "As soon as I open the door, Alice is going to pull me out."

"No, she won't." He replied, "She's not out here." I hesitated. I knew he wouldn't lie to me, "Let me in, Leandra. Please."

I sighed, and climbed off the bed. Crossing the room, I hesitated for just a moment longer, before I unlocked the door. Twisting the knob, I hesitantly peeked out. Sure enough, it was only he and Esme standing there.

I stepped away from the door, letting them in.

Still in my pajamas, I felt a little under dressed. They were already well dressed, I noticed as they came in. I knew they could tell I'd been crying, but I didn't let myself focus on that as I slammed the door again. Locking it quickly. I didn't want to hear any Christmas music, or see any lights. Behind my door, I had no hint of anything out of the ordinary. In here, it was safe.

"Why won't you come out?" Carlisle asked, and I sniffled, turning. Heading back to the bed, I crawled onto it, laying back down as I curled a pillow to myself yet again.

"I hate Christmas." I mumbled in response.

"Why?" He asked, "Leandra, you don't need to hate it-"

"Yes I do." I countered, my voice softening, "You don't even know." I paused, ignoring the tears that stung my eyes yet again, "I can hate stuff if I want to."

"You're right." Carlisle said, and I felt the bed dip beside me. Meaning he sat down, "You're allowed, but all we're looking for is an explanation."

"I shouldn't have to." I mumbled now. I knew I was pouting, but this was warranted. I had every right to feel the way I felt, and I had a very good reason.

"What's bothering you, darling?" Esme sat beside me, on the side of the bed I faced, and I closed my eyes. Sighing a sob, I kept my eyes closed. I had to try answering her.

"I hate it." I cried quietly, "I wish you wouldn't try to make me not hate it." Opening my crying eyes, I didn't look at either of them. Watching my hand clenching and unclenching in the pillow. I just wanted to stay curled into a ball. Why couldn't I stay in my ball?

"We just want to understand." Carlisle spoke up again, "That's all."

"Can't Edward just tell you?"

"He won't." Carlisle replied, "If it's personal, which I'm assuming it is, he wouldn't tell anyone without a very good reason." That was both relieving, and irritating. That meant I had to somehow tell them. At least something.

I sighed, and I sat up. Reaching up, trying to subtly wipe away my tears. Fixing the sleeves of my pajama top, I sniffled again as Esme gently cleared my hair from my face. Concerned as she and Carlisle both watched me attempt to calm down.

I bit my lip, thinking about how to explain it right.

"When I was little," I finally mumbled, "I don't think I've ever really believed in Santa or all that stupid stuff. Unless I did when I was really little, and I just don't remember it, but that doesn't matter. It's never mattered." They both listened quietly, "Growing up, I've never really looked forward to today. I mean, I didn't care either way. Because I knew it was just another day. I had no reason to hate it before."

My voice quieted, and I watched my hands resting on the pillow in my lap.

"I never understood it." I murmured, "Jack never got anything for me, and my mom was worthless when it came to stuff like that. Really anything that made her have to get off the couch, or out of bed, she was worthless at."

I paused for a breath, "I remembered being very confused, because everyone at school always looked forward to it. All my classmates were so excited, and the stuff they made us read and color at school, I never really understood. I never got what the big hype was about. It was just one of those things, I guess." I gave a sad shrug, and shook my head a little, "But even then, I still didn't hate it yet."

That wasn't the sad part, but given Esme's quiet sigh of sadness told me she didn't approve.

"I've heard about how everyone's supposed to be happy about Christmas, but I never really was." I kept my eyes down, "One year, though, four years ago. I got something from Jack that I couldn't take back."

They stayed quiet, so I knew I had to explain. They didn't quite understand yet. Maybe if I explained this, they'd know what I was talking about when I told them he wasn't just a mean person. He was evil, going out of his way to hurt people. Mainly me.

"He decorated for Christmas that year. And I was so confused, but I didn't really ask. You know, the tree and everything. It wasn't much, but it was more than any other year. I'd known him for three years by then, so it worried me a little. I'd learned by then to be suspicious of anything he did that was so different from what he usually did."

At Esme's nod, I took a deep breath, and I continued.

"He told me that I was old enough to finally get the gift he was going to give me. He didn't tell me what it was, but I just knew I was going to hate it." I didn't know how to say it, but I knew I had to. I'd admitted this much.

"Christmas Eve night was the very first time he came into my room, and the first time he ever hurt me the way he does."

Understanding came to Esme's eyes, and I looked back down. I didn't want to see that understanding turn to pity, so I kept my gaze down. Staring at my hands in my lap, nervously smoothing over my knee. They were both silent on either side of me, probably not knowing what to say.

"I don't even have to dream to remember exactly what that was like. I don't think it'll ever go away." I was surprised they could hear me. My voice had gotten so quiet. My cheeks felt too warm, and I knew I was blushing. Shamefully embarrassed, and though I knew I shouldn't be, I was.

"Since then," I continued after another minute of silence, "I've hated the day, because I still remember." I sniffled a little, "I still remember how scared I was, and how much it hurt. Nothing will fix that. No matter how hard you try. Every year, it's the same. Every year, he just makes it worse. My birthday was one thing. This is something different. There's nothing you can say, nothing you or anybody can do to make this day mean anything else than what it does to me."

It was silent now. I didn't know what else to say. I could only hope, though, that they let me stay here. I really didn't want to face anybody today. I just wanted to be alone.

The door opened then, though, as if it were never even locked, and I jumped, looking over at Alice as she walked in.

"Yup." She took my hand and pulled me over.

"Alice." Carlisle was trying to correct her as she hoisted me off the bed and over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Alice usually wasn't the one to do that, so I was too surprised to react yet. Until I did.

"Put me down!" I demanded, and she ignored me.

"She challenged me." Was all Alice said over my loud cursing. I really didn't want this. I wanted to just hide away. One day a fucking year, and she couldn't let me do that?

"Such language." She sighed in response when I shouted that to her.

"Put me down, dammit!" I shouted breathlessly over her shoulder. Up the hall, and down both sets of stairs, she flipped me over and dropped me, letting me land upright on the couch with a light bounce. Outside the window behind where she stood looking at me, the snow still fell in a steady curtain, blanketing the yard.

"You're not allowed to be sad about that anymore." She told me, and I gave her an incredulous look. I wasn't _allowed_?

"It's not that easy-"

"Yes it is." She said, "This is a good day, so be happy."

"How's it a good day?" I asked, "No day is just automatically a good one."

"Then by that thinking, no day is just automatically a bad one." She countered, and I hesitated. She had a point there. I didn't know what to say to that.

Edward smirked a little over at her, and I sat back. Drawing my legs up, crossing my arms over my chest.

"It's how you look at things now that matters, Leandra." She said, "Not what happened before." I looked up at her briefly, "Make some new memories." She balanced a small wrapped gift on my head, and I left it there.

As I sat there, I considered what she was telling me. Closing my eyes, I shook my head, looking down. It really wasn't that easy. She didn't know what she was talking about. I was embarrassed now, knowing everybody had heard that confession. Sometimes it really bugged me just how much they could hear.

"Listen to me." She said, sitting beside me, and the tone of her voice had me look up as she took the wrapped gift off of my head lightly, "I don't care what whoever told you whenever. I don't care what Jack told you, and you shouldn't either." I looked down until she caught my chin, preventing me from doing that.

"And stop looking down so much. There's nothing on the floor that'll make you feel any better." I sighed, looking down at the couch instead.

"Leandra, all that matters is now." She continued, "That's the only thing that really matters. Don't let whatever he told you last year, or five years ago define who you are right this second, or whatever you have ahead of you."

"You don't know." I argued quietly, shaking my head, "It's not something I can just control."

"You're strong, Leandra." She told me, "I know you don't believe me, but you are. You're strong, you're brave, and you've been given too much to bear, yet you're _still_ here. Do you know what they call that?"

"Stupidity?" I asked, and she allowed a sad smirk.

"No." She said, "They call that resilience. That's something that not everybody has. Most would have given up a long time ago, but you didn't."

"I tried to." I mumbled, "But you wouldn't let me."

"No, I wouldn't." She agreed with me, "And I had a good reason."

"It would have been easier on me to just let me give up, you know." I admitted, tracing the edge of the couch cushion with my finger, "I'm tired."

Instead of commenting on that, she asked something else.

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

I waited.

"When I look at you," She answered, "I see someone that can take anything on, and overcome it. I see someone courageous, and I see beauty. Someone not afraid to do what needs to be done.

"Do you know what you see when you look at yourself?" She asked quietly, and I wondered how much time she'd give me to answer her question honestly. Where to start?

But she answered for me again.

"You see him." She murmured, "You see exactly what he wants you to see, and that is _not_ your fault, but that's why we're here. That's our job. It's our job to correct that. You see everything wrong, everything as something bad. You're so blinded by everything he told you, you can't see the good things. You can't see the good things in you that we see every day. We _have_ to change that."

She wasn't wrong. I didn't see anything in myself that she saw.

"Do you know what the first step is?" She asked, and I waited once more, "The first step, is helping you realize that you aren't alone anymore. Look around. What do you see?" Slowly, I did as she said. Glancing around the full room.

"All these people care about you, Leandra." She continued, "You have a family nobody else in the _world_ has." She smiled, "That has to count for something." I couldn't help smiling a little myself, "You have a family that only wants to see you happy, and safe, and would do _anything_ to see that happen. You can fight, and argue with us all you want, but that's not going to change.

"All we're asking is to trust us. Trust me when I tell you that your past doesn't define you. Who you choose to be does. Live your life for you. Not for him."

"I can't just forget everything." I finally spoke, "I've tried."

"I'm not saying forget everything." She replied, shaking her head, "Believe me, I understand just how impossible that is. All I'm saying, is don't let him steal your life. Don't let your past steal your future."

Needless to say, she got through to me during that talk. I agreed, through slight tears, that she was right. I was focusing too much on the past, but I was scared.

What kind of future did someone like me have when I was raised by pure evil? And how on earth did they see all that in me? What was I worth? I was just some kid that barged into their lives, and lucked out. For once.

"You're priceless." Alice answered my confusion, "There's no possible way to even begin to describe your worth, Leandra."

That surprised me. She obviously believed what she told me. I knew that for sure, but it was still hard to believe. Did she even realize what she was saying?

"Because of my gift?" I asked, still confused, "I can't even use it."

"I'm not even considering your gift into this." She said, "Your worth comes from you. Not your gift, and most certainly not your past."

That was the second I started to believe her. The second I actually _wanted_ to see what she saw. For the first time, instead of being resigned to being worthless, I started thinking about the possibilities. I didn't _have_ to be that way. I could try. It would take work, of course, but what did I have to lose? I could only build up.

Sure, Jack had raised me that far, but now, I had plenty of others to look up to.

Eventually, nodded. Smiling a little as I sighed.

The rest of the day went smoothly from there. I still had my problems with the day, but I did my best to hide it. The snow eventually stopped, but it left a silence behind I couldn't help admiring out back.

I'd slipped away that evening, to just breathe for a moment. Kneeling on the porch, sitting on my heels, I just listened. To nothing. I couldn't even hear the traffic anymore. I wasn't going any further than the porch though. I knew better.

"Where are you?" I whispered under my breath, staring off in the direction of town, "What's your next move?"

Of course, I wouldn't get an answer. Jack knew right where I was, and I knew he had to be itching for another scare. He was out there somewhere, biding his time until he could get to me again.

Again, for the second time that day, I had to wonder. Was I really worth it? Was I really worth the trouble to Jack? Was I worth it, to chase and hunt? That was definitely a new way to think about it.

He sure was going to a lot of trouble for someone he always told was worthless.

"And there's your answer." I jumped a little as Edward broke the silence, glancing over as he rounded the side of the house. He must have slipped away too, or got curious as he noticed I wasn't inside anymore. I smiled a little.

"I'm not smoking this time." I told him quietly, and he allowed a smirk. He seemed so tired. Exhausted. I didn't know how that was possible in a vampire, but I could tell. Like he'd lost the one reason he had to exist.

"I know you aren't." He replied, coming to stand beside where I kneeled, "I hear it's been a very eventful few months for you."

"Too eventful." I sighed, looking back out over the yard and toward the park below, "I miss home so much. It feels too open here."

"I know how you feel." He sighed in reply. A slight breeze blew, pulling with it a few strands of my long hair into my face.

"And I can't help expecting something to happen." I admitted, "Since I found out Jack's around, it's like I'm just waiting. Trying to figure out what, and when his next move is going to be."

It got quiet for a few seconds.

"You're wrong, you know." He said, and I looked up, "You aren't too much trouble for them. You're just enough trouble to keep things interesting." The way he said it made it seem like a good thing. I had to smile at that. To my surprise, the smile lingered for a moment, until it faded, "And you're right. I did see. Leandra, I can't express my sorrow."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That moment when everything was taken." He clarified, "I saw how that single moment changed you. That one night.." He trailed off as he closed his eyes, shaking his head in sadness, "That's a memory no child should ever have."

"I'm more than just some child." I sighed, very slightly irritated, "That's not all I am."

"You're right." He said, "I apologize."

"It did change me." I admitted, "I just.. I was so scared. I never even thought anything like that was possible. I was pretty stupid back then."

"No, you weren't stupid." He told me, "You were as unaware as you should have been at six years old."

I don't think I'd be the same person, though, if that had never happened. Things like that, they change somebody. I know things would have been much different if that never happened. If it hadn't happened, it would have changed things just as much as it did when it did happen." I paused, "That sounded so confusing."

"I understand what you mean." He assured me.

"Who knows if I'd even be here now?" I mused quietly, "I hate it. I've always hated him for it, but.. There's still that one thought, you know? Would I have ever met you if I had never been changed that much?" My tone grew sad now, "Would I have even bothered talking to you at all? Would you have even known anything was off, if I wasn't so afraid?"

"That is initially what captured my attention." He allowed.

"I mean, yeah. I still had to be afraid of the beatings, but that didn't scare me as much as.. The other thing did." I replied, "Normally, I have to piss him off pretty bad for that to happen any other time than at night."

He hesitated, a frown on his face.

"You still refer to him in the present tense?" He asked, confused.

I shrugged, "It's only a matter of time before he gets me back again. Might as well stay used to it."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes." I mumbled, "Nobody's listening when I tell them he's not stupid. He'll do whatever it takes to get me back, and if they won't listen, it's only a matter of time. I just won't be around to tell them that I told them so, because once he gets me back, I'll more than likely never see you guys again."

He stayed quiet, listening to my thoughts. He had to see how I believed every word I told him. He had to see it.

"But anyway." I sighed, "I know I'd be a different person, but would I still have to fight the dark?"

I knew he knew I didn't mean being afraid of the dark. He knew I was referring to how dark, how mean of a person I was. How there was a whole separate part of me I feared. The one that hated so intensely, and got so angry.

"I understand that part of you more than you think, Leandra." He admitted gently, "And I can't answer that for you."

"I know." I murmured, "I just can't help wondering."

"That part of you is always going to be there." He said, "Once it's been created, there's very little you can do. It's just a matter of creating a balance. Learning what not to do to keep that balance from shifting in the wrong direction."

That made sense. I thought back to the last visit to Alyssa's house. What that did to me. The balance must have shifted?

He gave a small nod. Allowing that.

It was nice, I realized. Being able to talk to someone who could understand what I couldn't say. Instead of keeping something in, just because I didn't want to have to go through the process of explaining my reasoning, or what I meant. He already knew it, just by glancing through my thoughts.

"I'm glad I could help someone, at least." He sighed, and I looked back up at him. There was that torture again. I knew his torture was from something completely different, but seeing it printed so clearly in his posture and in his features, it reminded me of how I felt a lot of the time. I just didn't know how to express it.

"They know." He assured me, "They know how badly you're hurting. They just don't know how to express it, either."

"I wish they wouldn't worry so much." I admitted, "I cause too much trouble as it is."

"You're just enough trouble to keep things interesting." He repeated, and he went quiet. I did, too. Returning my gaze out to the darkening yard, and down the hill, across the silent and still park. It was nice to see no movement for once.

Looking back over, he was gone. Probably sensing I was finished talking, he went back inside. I couldn't blame him. It was cold and boring out here, and he probably wanted to spend more time with the family before he ran off to be alone again.

I thought my gratitude his direction, hoping he heard it. For listening, and letting me just talk without telling me I was wrong for thinking the way I did. I couldn't help, though, my thoughts returning to what I was thinking about before Edward showed up out here with me.

"Where are you?" I whispered again into the silent, frozen air, "What next?"

I could feel it. He wasn't done.

**A/N: Yummy filler lol  
I'm gonna make this A/N shorter this time around guys, so long A/N short:  
_THANK YOU~_****_THANK YOU_**~**_THANK_**** YOU** to my reviewers!  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and look forward to reading what you think about this one. Eleven should be on its way soon.  
Until Eleven, my friends. :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

It was still cloudy again the next day, but somehow, it was brighter outside than if it had been sunny. I wasn't surprised that Edward was gone already. Having left sometime during the night. I understood his want to be alone, despite how the rest of us didn't like it.

It was ultimately his decision. It sucked, but I understood it.

The original plan for today was to go straight to Alyssa's house. I missed her, and I wanted to see how things were now that her mother was gone.

However, practically smashed between both Emmett and Jasper as they herded me up the street, I decided to duck into the store first. As much as I hated that place, I had a feeling Mikah would be working.

I was right.

"Long time no see." He actually seemed pleased to see me. Rounding the counter, and hugging me. I wished I knew why I liked that so much. Very little to no contact with him before, now I knew what he smelled like. Which, for some reason, made my heart beat faster.

He greeted Emmett and Jasper, probably so they wouldn't beat him up for hugging me.

"Where have you been, stranger?" He smiled, kneeling in front of me.

"Home." I answered, and he gave me a look at my sarcasm.

"Okay, then why haven't you been around?" He rephrased the question, and I laughed a little.

"Busy." I replied, "How is everyone?"

"Things are a lot better." He assured me, "I uh.. I saw what you were talking about. Before." I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I said, "That couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't, and mom knows it." He said, "That's why she's avoiding me."

"Mikah, you can't do anything stupid." I said, "They need you."

"I know." He sighed, nodding tensely, "But, I'm happy to tell you that Alyssa is now bruise free." I smiled, "And she's dying to see you, princess."

"Why do you call me that?" I asked quietly, laughing.

"It just seems fitting." He smiled, "What, with your own bodyguard service and all."

"They're just making sure I'm safe." I replied, "Like you wouldn't follow Alyssa everywhere if you could."

"You've got a point." He allowed, until he thought about another subject, "Hey, what happened? Last time? Why'd you just run out like that?"

"Long story." I murmured, sighing.

"Wasn't something I said, was it?" He asked, and I immediately shook my head.

"No." I said, "No, it wasn't you."

"You sure?" He asked, "Because you sure seemed pretty upset."

"I'm sure." I replied, "I like being around you." He smiled at that, and I realized how awkward what I just admitted was, "Um.. Is Alyssa home?" I hoped he accepted that blatant subject change. He chuckled, but gave me a nod.

"She should be." He said, "If not, I have no idea where that kid's run off to, but hey. I've got something for you there. I was going to go take it by your house tomorrow."

I smiled a little, "Really?"

"Late Christmas present." He admitted with a smile of his own, "I'm off at four today, so if you're still there, I can give it to you." I liked to see him smile. It made me smile.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, "I'll try to stick around." That was less than an hour from then, so I knew the guys wouldn't mind.

"Cool." He nodded, "See you there." I nodded a little, and turned, "Just.. Stay clear of Jonathan. He's still sore about the punch you gave him, and he's off work today."

"Is he really?" Emmett asked, grinning.

Emmett and Jasper followed me out, and I took a breath. Slow flakes fell from the sky now, the late afternoon still showing no signs of the sun peering through the thick clouds.

"He's _still_ too old for you." Jasper murmured, and I looked up at him.

"I _still_ don't know what you mean by that."

"Remember how much you hated Alyssa's crush on me?" Emmett spoke up and I looked to him, waiting, "Well, now Alyssa gets to hate yours on Mikah." He grinned as if that were the most positive thing in the world.

"I don't have a stupid crush." I muttered, looking forward again.

"Right." Emmett snorted, and I rolled my eyes a little.

The second the door opened, and Alyssa saw it was me, she squealed, jumped forward, and hugged the breath from me. I grunted with a laugh, returning her hug.

"Hi!" She greeted enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. She sure seemed much happier, and I even tested it. Hugging her tightly, she showed no discomfort. Over the last month or so, she'd healed completely. From the short glance I'd gotten, she even wore short sleeves now. No scratches on the skin of her arms told me Mikah's talk had been effective.

"Come inside." She grinned up at both Emmett and Jasper, "It's cold out here."

I knew I could handle it now. I wouldn't be angry today.

I followed her inside, Jasper and Emmett following me. The place was still just as cramped as I remembered, but somehow, it seemed just a little lighter. I felt better about being there, if only by a little bit.

Without even knowing it, coming here had eased the intense guilt I felt. Just seeing how much happier she was told me she was doing so much better. And I'd made that happen.

"Well, if it isn't Leandra." Jon's voice made me nervous, but he didn't look that upset at me. I still knew to be aware of him, though. I glanced to Alyssa and she gave me a look that told me to just ignore him.

"Come upstairs." She offered, "I wanna show you what Mikah gave me yesterday."

I eagerly accepted that offer as Emmett took Jon's attention. On our way up the stairs, her thirteen year old brother, Sammy, was descending the stairs.

"Move over, brat." He told her, smacking her, and pushing her to the side. I paused, ready to follow him and tripping him the rest of the way down the stairs. Alyssa recovered, rolling her eyes at his back. Continuing on. After a few more seconds, I followed her.

Must have been a younger-older brother thing.

Following her into their room, she closed the door behind her. Heading immediately to the small bookcase beside the double-twin beds and lifted a small, blue fabric box from it. Sitting on the bed, she crawled back until her back was against the wall. Gesturing I sit next to her.

I hesitantly did, fully aware my shoes were still on.

"It's okay." She said, shrugging, "I don't care." Landing beside her with a light bounce, I looked over, "Look."

She held up the box, and lifted the lid. Inside the box was a very pretty bracelet. It was made from what looked like a bright silver, but I knew it was white gold. I knew the difference between the two by now, especially with Alice always showing off, and teaching me about her jewelery. All around the band of the bracelet, were dark green stones in flower patterns.

"Wow." I murmured, smiling, "That's very pretty."

"Isn't it?" She asked, grinning as well, "Em got one just like it, but the stones on hers are purple instead of green."

Eventually, we moved on from the subject of the bracelet, sitting there talking about her home life instead.

"I was so scared you hated me." I admitted, and she looked over.

"I was scared, too at first, but I never hated you." She replied, "I guess I can't blame you for telling. I wouldn't know what I'd do if someone told me what was happening."

"I just remember how scared I was, but I knew that you had to see that things would get better if I said something." I told her, "I figured you could hate me all you wanted, as long as something changed."

"A _lot_ has changed." She mumbled, "Don't worry about that."

"Things are better, right?" I asked, and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Daddy doesn't yell near as much anymore." She told me, and I sighed. Relief in my smile as I believed her, "Thank you, Leandra."

I heard clearly how grateful she really was, and it made me feel a whole lot better than before. I just smiled, and hugged her lightly. For once, I'd actually made the right split decision. Something I did actually helped someone else.

I couldn't help being immensely happy about that.

"So." She smiled as she pulled back, "Did you see Mikah on your way here?"

"Yeah." I answered, "We stopped in to see him."

"Tell me the truth." She said, "Do you like him?" I sighed heavily, looking down. How was I supposed to answer that? I pursed my lips stubbornly as I looked back up at her, "You do." The grin that spread across her face was a knowing one.

"Don't look at me like that." I muttered defensively.

"You do." She pressed, "You like him."

"I don't know, okay?" I asked, "I don't even know what 'liking' somebody means."

"It's actually not that big of a deal." She assured me, shaking her head.

"Then why does it matter?" I countered.

"Because I _have_ to know." She replied, "He's single, you know."

"So?" I grumbled, and she laughed.

"So you don't have to worry about a girlfriend getting jealous."

"Oh my God." I hid my face in my palms. Why was everyone always so interested in who I did or didn't like? It was humiliating.

"Don't worry." She giggled, "I won't tell him, but I think he already knows."

"I've spent exactly thirty seconds around him." I reminded her, "How would he know?"

"So you _do_."

"_Stop_." I had to laugh this time. She was relentless.

We looked over at the door opening, Mikah stepping in. Immediately, Alyssa started on a giggle fit. I smacked her arm lightly, giving her a look that told her stop.

"Sorry I'm a little late." He chuckled, laying his vest across the bed with a sigh, "I see Jasper and Emmett are interrogating Jonathan."

"Are they?" I wondered, sitting forward.

"Nah, don't worry about it." Mikah waved it off, "He deserves it."

"They can be pretty mean." I admitted.

"You don't know Jon that well, do you?" He asked in return. I smiled a little, shrugging, and he laughed, studying us, "What's with her?" He gestured to Alyssa, who snorted and restarted her giggling as she fell to the side.

"She's weird." I answered, unable to help laughing a little with her, "Damn, Alyssa. Take a breath."

Shaking his head, Mikah sat on the side of his bed, and with a sigh, he reached out to the tiny table beside it. Opened the small drawer on the front of it.

"Come here." He told me, and I instantly scrambled off Alyssa's bed, ignoring Alyssa's continued giggles behind me, "It's not wrapped, but I saw this, and I thought of you." I sat down next to him, and he lifted out a small snow-globe.

My eyes were glued to it instantly, the light coming in through the window catching the glass in a beautiful way. He handed it to me, and it was pretty heavy. The figure inside the globe was a sail boat on choppy waves. I tilted it a little, watching the 'snow' swirl slightly.

"It plays music." He smiled, gesturing to the bottom. I looked, and sure enough, there was a little knob. Carefully, I turned it a few times. Once I let it go, and it started to play, I had no choice but to listen.

The song it played, of course in music box fashion, was both haunting and sweet at the same time. The word 'beautiful' couldn't even begin to describe the tinkling tune. It wasn't only because he gave it to me that I liked it, I told myself. The tune, the way it sounded grabbed my full attention, and it calmed me.

"I thought of you, because it plays one of my favorite songs." He murmured quietly, and I glanced up at him, "There are words to that song. Here, I wrote them down.." From the drawer, he also lifted out a small piece of paper, and handed it to me. It was folded once in half, so I lifted it open.

The tune started over right at that moment, and under his breath beside me, he sang along with it. Half way down the page, he gestured to the words. The sound of his singing voice made me smile, because it was so sweet. Soft, and quiet.

"Sometimes we're just like the weather. Changing by day after day." He sang quietly, "As long as we'll be together, storms will pass away. I said I would guard and protect you, and keep you free from all harm, and if life should ever reject you, that love would weather each storm."

It was just a song, but I looked up at him.

"Like a sister." He assured me, and I smiled a little, laughing along with him, "As amazing as you are, you're a little on the young side, and I really don't want to die by your brothers any time soon."

I couldn't help it. I couldn't ignore, or deny it. I was disappointed.

I still loved the gift, though. A lot.

"Thank you." I made sure to place as much gratitude in my tone as I could, and he smiled, "I love it."

"It's the least I could do for you." He said, "After you helped us out so much."

Continuing to read the words to the song, I couldn't help thinking. How perfectly these words seemed to fit his personality. The parts of his personality I did know, and the parts I didn't know. I just knew that's who he was.

I was still stuck with the question, though. Who was Mikah?

I wanted so bad to remember him from the vision, but it was stuck. I was only allowed to feel the familiarity, but I couldn't be shown what warranted it.

Had he really always been there? It seemed so strange that he would be there, when I had been left behind when the family moved here in the vision. I shouldn't have known him.

It was frustrating.

We left there after dark, and by then the snow had picked up. Dumping in huge flakes, making the sidewalk slick. To avoid slipping, I walked slower. Until that got old, and Emmett decided to carry me like a backpack. Perched on his back. One of my arms around his neck, holding myself on while he supported my legs.

I didn't mind it when he carried me. It was kind of fun being up that high. It was colder now, though, and I shivered. Even with my gloves and my hat, I was cold.

My new gift from Mikah clutched tight in my hand, I admired it as Emmett carried me along. The light still catching on the glass globe perhaps even more beautifully now than it had before.

"I think it's cute." Emmett finally said, "And there are worse guys she could like." Jasper was obviously not as accepting of it as Emmett was, "Hell, she could have been one of the ones that decide to crush on college-aged guys. Sixteen is a hell of a lot better than nineteen, in my opinion."

"That's only a difference of three years." I pointed out, peering over his shoulder at his expression.

"Three big years, shorty." He said, "Especially in terms of, oh I don't know.. Say.. The law?" I couldn't help laughing at his incredulous expression. I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but I didn't feel like asking.

"It's still a big difference, Emmett." Jasper murmured, and I looked his way.

"It's just a crush." Emmett dismissed, "Probably not a reciprocated one. You heard the dude. He's smart, and besides. Leandra probably reminds him way too much of Alyssa. Mikah's a good guy."

After a few more moments, Jasper sighed.

"You're right." He allowed, "You're right. I'm being overprotective."

"But that Jonathan guy." Emmett muttered, "I don't like him."

"I don't either." I admitted, "But why don't you?"

"He's too cocky." Emmett replied, "Too smug."

"And you're not?" I laughed a little, and he grinned, choosing not to comment immediately.

The entire rest of the way home, I thought about Mikah. The sound of his voice when he sang to me continuously running through my head, and I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't stop smiling. Was that was it meant to like someone? That they made you happy?

That didn't seem so bad, and Emmett was right. Mikah was a good guy.

My teeth were chattering by the time we got home. Shivering continuously as Emmett set me on my feet inside the house.

"Go get warm, shorty." Emmett told me, and I dashed up the stairs.

A shower would have worked just as well, but I wanted to take a bath. For some reason, I wasn't too eager to just get clean and get out. I knew as long as I was in here, nobody would bug me, so I took as long as I wanted. I knew Emmett would let them know that everything was fine, and nothing went wrong.

Even with the big-enough-to-swim-in tub, I just found a corner. I didn't mind spending some much needed time alone. Time alone to think.

Alyssa had said it wasn't a big deal, but to me, it was. I couldn't _like_ anyone. That was against my own personal rules, but then again, trusting had been too. I now trusted my family with my life, so was I just so eager to break my own rules?

I also couldn't help thinking, though, that the reason I liked Mikah so much was because he was familiar to me. He'd been in that vision I had, I knew that for a fact, but how? He was a part of it, but was he a good part? Or a bad part? If I liked him, that meant he had to be good, right? Did I just like him because I remembered him? Or was it because in the now, he was a good guy?

As usual, I was over-thinking. I knew I was, but I couldn't help it. This was such a new thing to me.

The only draw back to my bath, was me not even realizing I was falling asleep.

Since I was braced by the back of the stone tub, I didn't slide, but I did sleep. However, no memories plagued me. No dreams, or nightmares. Despite the way I had to have been asleep for some time.

When I did wake up, it was because I tried to roll over, and the water had cooled significantly. I knew I couldn't keep sleeping in the tub, so I crawled out, regretting sitting in the warm water for so long, because the second I left it, I was freezing again.

I didn't even have the energy to get dressed right away. I laid down on my bed, wrapped completely in an oversized towel, and promptly fell right back to sleep. I'd meant to wake up enough to at least see everyone else downstairs, but that didn't happen.

With as tired as I was, I should have been surprised I didn't somehow slip and fall between the tub and my bed on the smooth hardwood, but the only falling I did, was right onto my bed.

When I woke up in the morning, I was deeply confused. I remembered exactly how I fell asleep, but when I sat up, I had pajamas on, and was under the blanket.

It didn't concern me how I was suddenly dressed. I wasn't worried about that. It concerned me how I slept so deeply, I had no recollection what-so-ever of anyone moving me. I slept right through it. That never happened. Never.

Normally, every other time, all someone would have to do was come near the bed and I was awake. I somehow sensed someone was there, and I'd wake up. It confused me how I could be moved, dressed, _and_ tucked into bed without even knowing it.

Sniffling quietly, I just sat there for a minute or two. Reaching beside me, I pulled Mikah's present to me from the bedside table. Watching the 'snow' inside the globe swirl as I shook it gently. I wondered briefly if he knew just how perfect that song was for him. He had to.

Sighing, I set the globe to the side, and climbed out of bed.

Emmett chuckled as he saw me, and I sat down next to him for a minute.

"You were out cold last night, shorty." He told me, "Esme says you never moved."

"I don't know why." I muttered, confused.

"Hey, I wouldn't be complaining."

"I'm not complaining." I replied, "Just confused. That's all."

"Maybe you should play that song more often." Emmett chuckled, and though he said it trying to tease me, I had to admit. That was the only thing that was different that I knew of. I smiled a little, shrugging as I sighed. I didn't know what to say.

"So Alice told me something last night." He muttered conversationally, "She wants to be the one to tell you, but-"

"Emmett!" I heard her call, cutting him off. I laughed a little as she came running down the stairs, landing on the couch between where he sat, and where I sat with a grin, "Guess what?"

"No idea." I admitted, laughing a little at her excitement. This was something that was obviously good, but her definition of good and my definition of good were sometimes opposite. Often, actually.

"Jack left town." She told me with a grin, and I blinked in surprise, "From what I can see, they all did. They went back."

I didn't know what to say. I was stunned.

"What?" I asked. That was all I could manage.

"They left, Leandra. They're not here anymore." She clarified, and I still didn't know what to say. This news actually scared me. Not only because I knew the fact that they left didn't mean anything good, but it scared me because I couldn't help comparing the last few months.

I stood up, turning and heading into the kitchen. To the calendar hanging up.

"When did we get here?" I asked, knowing Alice followed me. Already turning back the pages, back to September.

"The fifteenth." She answered quietly behind me. We'd caught Esme's attention as well. I followed the days with my finger. I flipped to October, holding the page of September, and found the day, "This is when he got here."

Alice looked to me, surprised.

"How did you-"

"This is the day I ran into him at the store." I turned quickly to November, finding the exact day, "And all this time, between here," I touched the day in September, "And here," I flipped the page, my finger on December 26th, "Up until yesterday, is how long he's been here. He left yesterday. Can you _not_ figure it out?"

She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"I've known the entire time we were here that he was either coming for me, or here." I said, "I just didn't know that I knew. My dreams were warning me." Understanding started in her eyes, and she smiled a little, "I didn't wake up once last night. Well, I did, but that was just to go to bed. I'd never been that relaxed, unless you count the first night here. After that, it's been nothing but.. I don't know, nervousness. It wasn't just trying to adjust that had me freaking out so much. It didn't get really bad until here." I looked at October again.

She was understanding more.

"That's why I hated the idea of school." I said, letting go of the pages, "I knew they would try something there. I knew it before anybody told me anything. I just didn't know that I knew it. This doesn't relieve me, Alice. It's too weird. I'm scared."

"Don't be." She said, pulling me into a hug, "It's just your gift. You're developing it."

"Then why the hell can't I see everything of the first vision yet?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly.

"Because it was so big." She replied, "Leandra, that vision spanned years. I've never even had one that spanned that long. That's going to take time for someone to recall. Especially if your gift isn't even developed yet, and especially if you're under the stress of a threat like Jack, and your gift is already busy trying to warn you."

That made sense.

"Your gift is confused." She explained, "That's all it is. Stuck between trying to refresh your memory of the first vision you had, and warn you about things now. You're okay." I hadn't even noticed I'd started to cry.

"One thing you need to learn." I sniffled deeply, stepping back and clearing the tears from my cheeks, "Don't _ever_ be relieved by anything he does. _Every_thing he does.." I trailed off for another few tears, "He doesn't take a step without a reason or plan behind it."

I shook my head, "This isn't good news. If anything, this just scares me more, because I know he wouldn't be going back unless he had a reason for it. He hasn't given up. I know him too well."

There was one good thing about him not around anymore, however.

I could finally leave the house on my own again if I promised to be careful, and I took advantage of that renewed freedom every day for a solid month by spending every second of free time I had either waiting for Mikah to get to work, or with him.

My family knew I was running off to spend time with Mikah, the much older brother of my friend, but the teasing died down. Almost like they were encouraging it. They must have trusted Mikah more than I realized before. The teasing had died down, but I didn't miss the knowing looks and smiles.

It worried me, though, how much I loved spending time with him. How happy it made me, and how easy it was to tell him things, but I couldn't help it. He was so open, and it was very easy to read his emotions in his kind eyes. When he asked a question, it was never out of boredom. He was honestly always interested in what answer I gave him.

Somehow, that made him more important to me.

I was never depressed, or down while I was with him. He made it impossible without even making an effort. All he had to do was smile, in the way that he does, and I'd return it. The things he'd say would instantly grab my entire focus, and as weird as it sounded, he was my new hobby. Like a whole new distraction from my overworked mind. Almost a relief, like breathing.

It got to the point where I was thinking about him while I was home, until I could see him again. I tried to stop that, because it worried me how often he was on my mind, but I couldn't. Thinking about him was something I did automatically now, and I'd smile every time. There was just something so incredibly fascinating about him, I really couldn't help it. It did start to concern me, but that didn't bother me. I didn't care.

I didn't understand how a person could possibly be addicting, but I was starting to see it. I'd have a bad night, and the next day, I'd forget all about it the second I saw him. If I couldn't see him one day, I stayed longer with him the next day. Before long, after I realized that, I knew I needed him.

Jasper was concerned, though, and tried to talk me out of seeing him so much. He was worried about me somehow getting hurt. I knew Mikah would never hurt me, so his concern was stupid.

The next time I saw Mikah, I stayed all afternoon. February had started two weeks before. Before I even knew it, January had passed so quickly, and I was actually nervous this time. I wasn't afraid, but nervous, but that wasn't going to stop me.

"So." Mikah said as soon as the most recent customer left, "Doesn't your family mind how I've stolen you?"

I smiled a little, "Not really. I mean, they've never told me to stay put."

"I'd miss you." He said, "Especially with how close you are to them. That's another thing I've noticed about you. The way you talk about them, it really makes it seem like.. I don't know, like they're saints or something."

"Is that weird?" I asked, wincing a little.

"Not at all." He assured me, "It just _really_ makes me want to know them more. They seem _really_ interesting."

"There's definitely more to them than I've said." I admitted, shrugging a little.

"I'm gathering that." He replied, smiling a little, until it faded, "I've been pretty curious. Leandra, where do you come from?"

"Washington." I answered immediately.

"That isn't what I mean." He shook his head a little. I knew what he meant. Normally, this kind of subject was off limits. He'd never expressly asked about it before. Conversation with him was always light, and rarely strayed this serious direction. Somehow, that didn't stop me from wanting to answer him.

I hesitated just a moment, "Let's just say.." I paused, "I know how bad Alyssa was hurting."

"You were beaten? Like her?" He asked, and I knew that bothered him.

"You could say that." I allowed, and he seemed confused.

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't exactly the same." I replied, "Alyssa was beaten because your mom couldn't keep her temper." He gave me a nod, still clearly upset by the thought, "I was beaten for fun. Because I was there." I could see it. There in his eyes, his emotions changed rapidly. Shock, confusion and anger, and back to shock.

"That's horrible." He murmured.

"Every day." I mumbled, "Well, unless I was too sore to move already. Then he'd just smack me somewhere I was already bruised or something. I wanted to help Alyssa, because I know what it's like to be bruised over ninety percent of my body, and I know how bad it hurts to have to move bruised black like that. I didn't want to see hers get that bad. I didn't want to see hers get any worse. I just couldn't ignore it."

"Who would do something like that to you?" He asked, leaning on the counter.

"My stepdad." I replied, "I guess I owe him." I kept my eyes down as I slowly paced the length of the counter, "If it weren't for him, and what he'd do, I wouldn't be with my family right now. I owe my family my life."

"Wow." He murmured, and I glanced up, "That really is amazing." I could tell he meant every word, "That they'd help you."

"Especially when they really didn't have to." I added, "I've got to be the luckiest kid in the world."

"That wasn't everything, was it?" He asked, and I knew what he meant, "That wasn't even all he'd do." Why was it so easy to talk to him?

"No." I answered after a few moments of silence, "That wasn't all." I hesitated. What could it hurt to admit it now? "You've actually talked to him before."

"Who?" He asked, "Your stepdad?" I nodded. He frowned in confusion.

"Remember that day? When I ran out?" Understanding came to his eyes, "That was him. I knew he was around for awhile. I just didn't expect to see him."

"So wait." His tone was firmer now, "You're telling me that.. With all he's done to you, he's not in jail?"

"He's good at not getting caught." I admitted, and he sighed heavily. For once, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. His eyes were down, and he slowly shook his head. What would he say to that?

"You should have said something." He finally told me, "I could have done something." That wasn't what I expected. He sounded almost mad, but I knew it wasn't at me. I was good at telling that by now.

"Trust me." I replied, "There was nothing you could have done."

"I could have tried." He said, shaking his head. I forced a smile.

"Thanks, but I wouldn't want you getting hurt because of me." I told him, "He's a dangerous guy." Just how much, he didn't even know.

"I'm used to that." I frowned a little at his reply, "I think I could handle him."

What did that mean?

At his insistence, though, I left before it got too dark outside. He hugged me goodbye, and told me he'd be watching from the corner until I got to the park. I didn't want to let him go this time. Like I was afraid of having to survive the night without talking to him.

I had to ask myself. Why was I so nervous about leaving his side?

"Be careful." I told him, and he frowned a little, before he smiled.

"Don't worry about me, princess." He replied, "I'll be alright."

With that, I went home. I got inside the house, sighing tiredly as I landed on the couch beside Emmett. Who seemed particularly bored that night. The TV on some movie channel, showing some action movie. Stuff getting blown up, car chases, and everything.

"Where is everybody?" I asked Emmett, leaning against him.

"Hunting." He answered, boredom in his tone, "They'll be back before morning."

"You didn't go with them?"

"And let you burn down the house?" He asked in return, chuckling a little.

"I'll probably be going to bed soon anyway." I muttered, as if on cue, yawning.

As it turned out, I didn't even make it to bed. I fell asleep right there on the couch with him, and he didn't seem to mind. Leaning against his arm, I didn't get the best nights sleep. If I slept at all.

I should have gotten up the first time I woke up, but I didn't. I didn't want to move, or be alone, which was a change. That hadn't happened in awhile.

I woke the next morning to the family returning before dawn. Emmett hadn't even moved.

"Has she even been to bed?" Carlisle seemed unhappy at my apparent all-nighter.

"Nope." Emmett answered as I fell to the side, stretching deeply, "I would have been lonely, and so completely lost without her snoring."

"Ow." I yawned a gasp, "Leg cramp." Carlisle shook his head.

"After breakfast, Leandra, I want you to go upstairs and get some rest." Carlisle told me, and I nodded, in the middle of another stretch. Esme, also unhappy, walked away. Toward the kitchen.

I snoozed for just a bit longer, laying across the couch, until Emmett stood up and pulled me up with him. Carrying me over his shoulder. I was getting used to being carried this way. He paused, sitting me upright at the table.

"Special delivery." Emmett told Esme, "She's a little less than awake, but that's okay, right?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up. It was incredibly hard to even keep my eyes open.

"I'm too tired to eat." I mumbled, looking up at him.

"Next time, I'll take you hunting for breakfast." He told me, "I'll catch you a squirrel or something. It'll keep you awake when it fights back."

"Ew." I muttered, crinkling my nose.

"What? No blood for you?" He smirked, and I crinkled my nose again, shaking my head.

"No thanks." I muttered, "Not yet."

"That's right." He grinned, sitting beside me, "You've had blood before."

"Yes, sir." I mumbled lightly. I knew he was referring to the vision, so it didn't bother me to answer. I didn't mind answering what I could.

"How old were you again?" He asked, interested.

"Seventeen." I replied, and he smiled a little before laughing in confusion.

"So you're telling me, that the entire dream, you'd never once felt like it was a vision?" He asked, and I shrugged. I'd never been asked that before.

"Well.." I murmured, "From what I can remember, no. It felt so real to me. It _was_ real to me, aside from the fact that I was actually asleep on my bedroom floor."

"What were you like as a seventeen year old?"

"There isn't much I remember." I told him honestly, "Not about that time, because I was so different, but.." I paused, thinking. He waited patiently as I did my best to recall, "I was protective. Of not just you, but.." I frowned, "Someone else too. There was someone else."

"Ooh, did you have a mate?" He grinned, and I thought about it.

"No, it wasn't that." I said, "But this person was important to me. More important than anything." The more I struggled to see, just like with every time before, my head started to hurt. In a different way this time, "I hate how I would have done anything for them, but I can't even see who it was."

"It'll come to you, shorty." He assured me. I couldn't help but keep trying though.

"Mikah was there." I mumbled without even thinking, and that caught his attention. It caught my attention too, because I was suddenly so sure of it, "Mikah was there." I looked to him, with a frown, speaking again, "He was there, but.."

"I thought you said you never came with us when we left?" Emmett asked, confused.

"I didn't." I said, "He wasn't there until.." I trailed off. I ignored the now severe ache in my head, "He was there, but he wasn't human."

I was pushing myself too hard, but I had to see this stuff. At least regarding Mikah. I couldn't see absolutely anything else, but his face. I knew he was there, though it was really only a glimpse. A hint or two.

I was shocked, surprised as I started to cry. Emotions from the vision coming forward, at least from what I remembered of seeing Mikah. It was too far ahead in the vision, further ahead than I was meant to see yet, but he was there. That's why I hadn't realized yet how I'd seen him before.

I suddenly deeply missed him.

"He was there." I murmured through a sob, "I don't know why, but I do know that he wasn't human."

"He was a vampire?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. Tears trailing softly down my cheeks. I gasped a quiet sob, shaking my head. Trying to control my emotions again, "Why are you crying?"

"I want to remember more." I bawled, deeply frustrated, "But I _can't_." It wasn't a rare thing for me to cry more when I was tired. It more exhausted I was, the worse my emotion got.

"It's okay, shorty." He seemed upset that he'd upset me, "Breathe." I wasn't mad, so I allowed him to tell me that. I wasn't mad, but frustrated, and the only way to describe it was heartbroken. I desperately wanted to see more, but it was too far ahead. I couldn't see anything but Mikah, and feel the emotions I felt.

Just like with the Cullens in the beginning. Knowing I knew them from the vision I had, and remembering what it felt like to live with them. To be safe and protected.

I compared knowing Mikah was there, to how I felt knowing the Cullens were there.

"He was with us." I said, looking to Emmett, "He was around. All the time."

"So he was here?" He asked, "In the family?" I sniffled hard, nodding before another round of sobs stole my breath. Why was this upsetting me so much? Maybe in the vision, I felt more for him than I did now?

A brief memory from my time as a seventeen year old, told me he was there too. One bigger glimpse only upset me more. I saw him standing there, holding something in his arms and smiling at me. In that way that he does. He was happy. What was he holding? I pushed harder. I so suddenly had to know.

"Breathe, shorty. You're scaring me." Emmett sat straighter now, and Esme was suddenly at my other side. I paid zero attention to them, though. Forcing through the pain, now blinding, just to see what he was doing there in that memory. It was all that mattered to me now, to see what Mikah was holding.

I forced through the pain, and I looked harder. More started to come through, and I almost had my answer, until my efforts suddenly stopped.

I didn't understand how Emmett was suddenly holding me, telling me to wake up. I heard him, I was awake, but I didn't want to be, so I let myself fall back to sleep. Why was I suddenly sleeping? I couldn't remember, and I found I didn't care.

"This is why we do not push her." Alice was upset. Why was she upset?

"She pushed herself." Emmett was defensive. Why was he defensive?

"You probably made that entire vision disappear." She was blaming him, "Do you know how much valuable information that could have had?"

"It's not his fault." Esme was the one holding me now, "He even asked her to back off. Please stop arguing."

"That vision could have helped us." Alice wasn't quite done yet.

"Shut up." I mumbled without opening my eyes, "You're loud."

"Leandra." Alice was suddenly right beside me, not at all concerned by my telling her to shut up, "You're awake."

"Not by choice." I mumbled with a frown, "Stop yelling at Emmett."

"Leandra, you've been unconscious all day." That made me open my eyes. I winced immediately, flinching back at the bright light in the living room. The lamps were on, meaning the daylight was gone. I turned my face into Esme's shoulder, not appreciating the renewed pounding in my head.

From what I could see in that brief glance, everyone was there. Carlisle stood beside the couch, Alice to his left. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie across the room.

"Ow." I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You pushed yourself way too hard this morning, Leandra." Alice's voice was softer now, relief in her tone.

"So suddenly, it's _not_ my fault?" Emmett was irritated.

"_Please_ shut up." I grumbled, "You can't imagine how much this hurts." I honestly felt like throwing up, the pain swirling through my head radiated through my entire body, turning my stomach with it.

It was silent for a few minutes while I worked on opening my eyes. When I could, it was only because Rose had gone through, and turned off most of the lights. Leaving one dim one on in the corner. I glanced to her, grateful.

I trembled, but I didn't know why. Probably a side-effect of the worst migraine I'd ever had in my life. I never thought this much pain was possible in a headache. Among the first thoughts through my blank mind, were thoughts of Mikah.

It was already too late to go visit with him at work, so I gave up entertaining that idea.

"You can't do that." Alice spoke up again, quieter now. Again, speaking about pushing myself too hard.

"I couldn't help it." I mumbled, letting my eyes close again, "There was something there I had to see. I didn't get to see it, though."

"You've seen plenty." Alice replied firmly, "Don't do that again."

"It's important." I shook my head a little. My exhausted mind forcing me to want to cry again. I held it back, though I knew Alice could see the emotion in my eyes.

"Focus on something else." She told me, and I sighed.

I tried. Struggling to do as she told me, I only managed to fall back to sleep.

Over the course of the next two days, I slept almost continuously. Each time I woke up, my migraine was a little easier to bear. While I slept, I didn't dream, thankfully. Stuck inside my mind for so long, it would have been torture if I'd had to dream, too.

Carlisle, of course, had been there the entire time. Checking on me periodically, but letting me rest. I was too tired now to really talk much, but I was given water whenever I was awake, before falling back to sleep for another six or seven hours straight.

Thursday morning was when I'd pushed myself too hard, and Sunday morning, I was finally awake long enough to eat something. Though my migraine was gone, my head still felt sore. My mind ached in a strange way, and it was difficult to really think, but as the day went on, it became easier, and I started to feel more like myself.

Sitting up in my room, still quite tired and recovering, but I was upright, and I was awake. That was a definite plus. I sat watching the snowglobe again, something I hadn't gotten to do in a few days.

I never expected things to go so wrong so quickly.

"Leandra." I looked up at the call downstairs, "Come downstairs please." It was Esme, and confused, I left my room. She didn't sound mad.

I frowned as I saw Alyssa standing there, Esme closing the door behind her. Alyssa was crying, very clearly very upset. Instantly I worried.

"Hey." I mumbled, coming to stand beside her, "What's wrong?"

"I was wondering if you've seen Mikah?" She sniffled, "Like, at all within the last two days?" Surprised, I shook my head.

"What happened?" I asked, and she couldn't reply right away. Her tears were scaring me, "Is he okay?"

Esme offered for her to sit, which she accepted. I sat down beside her.

"What happened?" I asked again, "Is Mikah okay?"

"I don't know." She cried, shaking her head, "Nobody's seen him."

"What do you mean?" I had to ask. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my mind was running around in panicked circles.

"He and Jonathan got into a fight." She explained tearfully, "Not just an argument, but Mikah hit him. I don't know what it was about, Jon won't tell me, but it wasn't pretty. I've never seen Mikah so mad before, telling Jon he was way out of line." She paused for a breath, "Dad took them both outside, and the rest of us were too scared to follow. Jon came back inside, and he was so mad. He hit Sammy, just for asking him what his problem was. Dad took Mikah somewhere, and that's the last time I saw him."

"I'm sure he's fine." I mumbled, glancing to Esme. I didn't know how to comfort her. Not with how much that news scared me.

"He's _never_ been gone this long before." Alyssa's tears restarted, "I don't know what to do. Nobody is as worried as I am, and they won't _do_ anything to find him."

"I'm sure he'll turn up." I told her, "Maybe he's just.. I don't know.. Off somewhere, calming down."

"But he doesn't do that." She insisted, shaking her head, "He doesn't leave us for this long. I know him, Leandra. Probably better than any of us. This is _not_ like him. He's _never_ gone for longer than he has to be for work."

"What do you think happened?" Again, I had to ask and she looked to me.

"I think my dad did something." The way she said that without a hint of doubt worried me.

"Like.. Hurt him?" I asked, and she nodded, "Why do you think that?"

"Because Mikah's always standing up for us when the older kids start picking on us or when dad starts yelling, and he's always the one that tells dad he's not doing enough."

She had to have been really worried to admit that right in front of Esme. I looked up at Esme, her worry probably mirroring mine.

"Have you looked through his stuff?" I asked, "Maybe there's something there that'll tell you where he could have gone."

"Not yet." She sniffled, her eyes lightening, "Think he'll mind?"

"Well if he's gone, he's not around to care, is he?" I stood up, "Let me get dressed, and I'll go with you." Esme didn't tell me I couldn't, so I dashed upstairs. Throwing on the first things I found, and my jacket, I jogged back down the stairs.

"Be careful." Esme told me, and I nodded.

When we got to her house, I stepped inside ahead of her, and she wasn't going to stop me this time. Despite her efforts, I wasn't stopping to wait.

Up the stairs, I found Jon standing in the doorway of the boys' room. I came up to him, shoving him forward as hard as I could.

"Where's Mikah?" I demanded as soon as he turned around, surprised. He looked down at me, smirking.

"I don't know where the little shit ran off to." He told me, and I glared.

"Leandra." Alyssa was behind me, "Don't."

"You know." I barked up at him, "And you better start talking, or-"

"Or what?" He interrupted, standing straighter, "What are you going to do about it?" His tone suddenly intimidated me, and I couldn't think. I fell silent, despite how I wanted to keep talking, "That's what I thought."

"I'll hit you again." I threatened, and he smirked again.

"That's right." He said, "I still owe you one for that." I took a tiny, involuntary step back.

"I dare you." I growled up at him, "My brothers would-" He cut me off with the hardest slap I'd gotten in a long time.

The left side of my face erupted in pain, and my ears rang as I fell to the side. Squeezing my eyes shut against the dizziness, I struggled not to cry as I smelled blood. Alyssa kneeled beside me, and I couldn't help noticing how she cried.

"I don't see your brothers here, you spoiled little shit." He snapped as I finally looked up at him, "Their mistake for letting such a big mouth little brat loose without them around." He chuckled, and squatted down as I pushed myself up slightly, "Maybe that'll teach you not to fuck with the big boys."

I don't know what I was thinking. I obviously wasn't.

"That's it?" I forced a laugh, "Wow, I expected more than that from such a big tough guy." His eyebrows rose, and he smiled in a way I didn't like. He moved like he was going to grab me, but I flinched, so he stopped.

"Don't tempt me, kid." He warned me, shaking his head.

"Fuck you." I snapped this time, and I received yet another slap. Harder this time, I fully fell over.

"Whoa." He chuckled, standing, "That was a good one." He shook out his hand, shaking his head as he laughed. Alyssa was in harder tears now, helping me sit up. I was dazed, dizzy as hell, but more pissed off than anything.

"I'm okay." I told her, and she shook her head. Sobbing.

"Any more questions?" He demanded.

"Just one." I mumbled around blood over my lips. He waited, "Do you have life insurance?" That question seemed to confuse him, so I smiled, "You're going to need it the second my brothers hear about this. I promise you."

He kissed at me, and turned. Descending the stairs.

We looked through every part of his space Alyssa could think of. Not finding anything at all. We sat together on the side of his bed, thinking. What now? I could almost feel it. The way she was losing hope.

"I'm sure he'll come back." I offered, looking to her, "I know he'll come back. He has to."

"I can't help worrying to much." She sniffled, "He's all I got. I can't be strong like him without him." I hugged her, hoping that was enough to comfort her.

"I got an idea." I mumbled, standing, "I'm going to go see about something." She nodded, accepting that, "Oh, and don't be surprised if Jon gets beat up, okay? Just in case. I don't know what they're gonna do about this." I gestured to my probably deeply red cheek. Again, she nodded. She didn't care about that, obviously.

As it turned out, I wasn't home for thirty seconds before both Emmett and Jasper saw me. I had taken three steps in the door before Jasper was suddenly there. Angry, given his expression as he took my chin in his hand, turning my face to the left.

I was probably bruised. That would be the only thing to explain how upset he was by this. Emmett's attention was taken as well, and he was suddenly there, looking closer.

"Who?" He demanded, and I knew better than to avoid answering. Instinct, maybe.

"Jon." I replied, and that was it. He strode passed me with a quiet growl, but the anger in it made it seem louder.

Thankfully, the sun had just dipped behind the buildings in town, because Emmett and Jasper weren't stopping to worry about that. I trailed quickly behind them as they strode through town, having to run to keep up.

To my surprise, though, it was Jasper that lifted me when I started to fall behind. Probably because Emmett was too angry to hold me without smashing me. Given the three dents in their front door from his knock, he wasn't worried about being careful. He was intensely pissed off, and I was actually happy he didn't try to hold me.

There were only two words spoken by Emmett once Jonathan opened the door.

"Hello, fucker." Emmett's tone was dangerous.

Jon took one look around, until his eyes found my smug grin. Turning, he tried to run back into the house. Emmett caught his arm easily, wrestling with the door Jon tried to close. Emmett growled again, following him into the house, and swiftly, he delivered the first punch to the side of his face.

"He's not going to kill him, is he?" I asked, suddenly worried as I looked to Jasper. Jasper turned, stepping back down the front steps. Slowly walking back toward the street, taking me with him. Probably to get away from the blood being spilled behind us.

"I hope not." Jasper sighed calmly, "That's a whole lot messier than just delivering punishment."

Emmett eventually came back out with a warning.

"Hit my baby sister again." Was all he growled to him, but the fact that he said something at all meant Jon was still alive, so Emmett had to have used some restraint. Which was a relief.

Plucking me from Jasper, Emmett swung me around and placed me on his back. Carrying me like a backpack again. I clung to him, glancing back as we started for home again.

"That was scary." I finally admitted to Emmett, "Remind me not to hit your baby sister." I was trying to ease his temper, but it didn't work. His glare stayed straight ahead.

I hadn't seen him this way before. This was so different from the normal, light-hearted Emmett I was so used to.

"I don't want you going over there again. At least not alone. Not without me." He told me, and I was too surprised at his tone to speak at first. So I just nodded, "I mean it, Leandra. Not ever."

"Okay." I replied quietly, "I won't." The fact that he used my name told me he wasn't playing around.

"In fact, you're not going anywhere without me." He said, and I glanced, surprised over at Jasper. He gave me a look in return that assured me. He'd probably talk to Emmett for me.

"Okay." I mumbled, not wanting to argue and get him pissed at me. So, this was what protective Emmett was like. I hadn't gotten to see this side of him yet.

I doubted he knew how much it meant to me that he'd act this way, just for me. I smiled a little. I'd always known he was protective of me, but proving it like that might have been a bit overboard, but I didn't care about that.

I hugged his neck tighter.

"Thank you." I mumbled, and he sighed.

"Any time." He replied, his tone calmer now.

"How bad did you hurt him?" I asked, peering over his shoulder, trying to see his expression. He smiled a little.

"I'll be surprised if Carlisle doesn't have to do some damage control." Emmett replied, "Like paying some medical bills." I winced, imagining that.

"Think they'll be mad at you?" I asked, frowning. I didn't want him to get into trouble for avenging me.

"Probably a little." He said, "But seeing that bruise, they'll get it."

Much later that evening, after everything seemed to settle down, I laid in bed. Being so tough earlier couldn't last, and I cried now. Not because I was hit. I didn't care about that. I cried, worried about Mikah.

What could have happened to him that he was gone for this long? Where would he go, and why would he leave? Nobody could answer me, and they knew how worried I was.

If Alyssa was this worried, I had every reason to be worried too. She knew him better than anyone else on the planet, and she believed firmly that something happened to him.

All I wanted was to know that he was okay. All I needed was to know that he was alright, and that he'd come back.

I knew, I was fully aware, that I shouldn't be crying like this over just a friend. My heart was broken painfully, my emotion making it hard to breathe. Each time, renewing as I thought about him again.

Crying quietly into my pillow, I cried myself to sleep for the first time in some time.

**A/N: Tears, man. I mean, it's just allergies...  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of chapter ten!  
Chapter twelve is looking a lot like the last for this story. ****I know I'm going to be hated (or at least strongly disliked for this) but it's gotta happen.  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :D I know a lot happens in it, and I hope it was at least a little followable. If it seems choppy, I'm sorry. Been a bit stressful around here lately.  
Until 12, my beautiful readers. (:  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Being heartbroken was a strange emotion, and I was learning that.

Sleeping didn't heal it, and it stayed around even after I sat up. Maybe even worse than what it was the night before. It left a lump of emotion in my throat that wouldn't go away, threatening to reduce me to tears the entire day.

I went to sleep that night, and slept deeply, but too deeply. I woke with a headache. I knew this one was caused by emotion. Not near as painful as the migraine I had before.

But it was painful. The kind that made my eyes hurt. Shuffling downstairs, I kept my eyes closed most of the way to prevent running into anything as I sat down next to Emmett.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing my discomfort.

"Headache." I mumbled, not appreciating the sound of my own voice.

"I hope that fuckwad didn't give you a concussion or something."

"No." I mumbled, sniffling and frowning, "I've been hit way harder than that before."

"In the head?" He asked, and I sighed.

"No." I admitted, "The rest of me. But I have been hit in the face before. Just not that hard, I guess."

"How hard did he hit you?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"He used effort." I allowed, and shrugged a little, "My headache's already starting to go away, so don't worry. I think I just slept more than I was used to."

"Just let me know if it starts hurting again." Emmett said, "I'll be happy to go hunt that fucker down again."

"I've never heard you cuss so much." I commented, yawning. Looking around briefly, "Where's Esme?"

"She and Carlisle had to go see someone." Emmett replied, "Carlisle got a call yesterday, and they figured it would be better to talk to them in person." He seemed reluctant to tell me much, and I frowned a little, "They'll be back soon."

"It's not about Jonathan, is it?"

"No." He said immediately, "No, don't worry about that." I nodded, believing him. I sniffled again, sadness tugging at my heart yet again.

"Cheer up, shorty." Emmett murmured, hugging me into his side. I sniffled, fighting off the tears I'd been fighting. It hurt.

"You know you can talk to us." He offered, looking down at me.

"It was different with him." I admitted quietly, "I don't know why. It just was."

"He's not dead, shorty." He reminded me, "Just missing. He'll show up. Watch, and you'll see. You'll feel so stupid for sitting around all bummed out."

I didn't believe him, but I had no choice but to keep living. It was stupid to keep laying around whining.

So much time had gone by without me even noticing it. Almost two months had gone by since I last regained my freedom, and I had used it entirely on Mikah.

Hardly stopping at all to think about _how_ I was free again.

Jack was a subject nobody brought up anymore. At least not to me. His name was never spoken, Ken's either, and I knew they had been trying to keep me happy. To keep me from getting scared again.

I knew, though, that Alice kept an eye in that area for any sign of what he was planning. Some sort of hint, finally taking my warnings seriously.

Without Mikah taking up every waking moment, I could get back to chores. So I did, but I was also partially distracted. Waiting for the moment when Alyssa would show up and tell me he'd been found.

That never happened. I waited a week.

I did everything I could to keep busy, even choosing to do my chores slower, more carefully now. Esme didn't seem to mind letting me stay at the same task sometimes all day. She knew what I was doing, and didn't bother me.

What the hell was wrong with me, anyway? It was just some person. Vision or not, I didn't mope around this much when I had to leave Josh or Zack. However, no matter how hard I tried to talk myself out of it, I remained heartbroken. It wouldn't heal.

Time passed quicker after that first week, and March had arrived.

The second day of March, I took Emmett and Jasper with me as I made my way through town. I'd been putting this off, hoping she would contact me first with good news, but since it hadn't happened yet, I had to go see her.

Alex was the one to answer the door, sadness hidden in his tough expression. He didn't smile, only gestured that we come inside.

"Dad and Jon are at work." He told us quietly, "For about another hour and a half. Aly is upstairs if you want to see her." I nodded sadly, and I climbed the stairs. I pushed open their bedroom door, and I saw first hand how much something like this could effect someone.

On Mikah's bed, Alyssa sat half propped up on his pillows, holding a sleeping Emily draped across her stomach. I could tell in Alyssa's expression that she was so tired, and probably just got done crying herself. Probably for the thousandth time. She looked up, gestured for me to wait.

Gently, she rolled Emily off of her, who rolled over and settled further onto the bed. Falling back to sleep as Alyssa slowly climbed off the bed.

She sighed, her expression so worn down it hurt to see. Walking with me from the room, she gently closed the door behind her.

"She finally stopped crying long enough to sleep." She told me quietly, "She misses him so much." Sitting on the top step of the stairs, she looked down. I sat beside her. She was being so strong for the kids.

"No news?" I asked quietly, and she slowly shook her head. Well, at least they didn't get the news that he was dead somewhere, but I could easily see how that wouldn't be as relieving. As it was, he'd been gone for nearly two weeks.

Gently, I put my arm around her, and she took the offer. Leaning against me, laying her head on my shoulder, and started to cry. The sound of her tears made tears of my own come forward. It hurt me to see her hurting so much, without being able to help her this time.

I didn't say anything to attempt to comfort her. She didn't need that. There was nothing I could say that would help. Not when something like this had happened. All I could do was be there. I hugged her tighter, knowing she needed someone to just be strong for her for a minute. I knew Sammy was useless, as were Jon and her father.

It was up to her to comfort Alex and Emily. That kind of weight would make her grow up. Everything Mikah was trying to avoid, but she would do it. She'd take over Mikah's role in their lives, as much as she could because she cared about her younger siblings.

I looked up, watching as Alex slowly ascended the stairs toward us. Alyssa looked up also, lifting her head off my shoulder. Sitting to her other side, I watched as he hugged her to him now. To my slight confusion, I watched wordlessly as she leaned on him now.

And I saw it.

It wasn't just Alyssa who'd be growing up too fast. Alex was being the definition of solid for her, and I could see that this was nothing new. The sadness in his eyes was apparent, but he didn't cry.

For the briefest of seconds, I saw Mikah in him. Alex had obviously been learning from Mikah, and would pick up what he could. It helped, if only a little bit, to know that Alyssa wasn't alone. She hadn't been kidding when she said they were all pretty close, but I had a feeling this would bring them closer.

They'd be okay.

"Leandra." I looked over at Emmett's voice at the bottom of the stairs, "Come on. We have to go."

"But I just got here." I sniffled, frowning a little. It was very unlike him to rush me like this.

"Sorry." He said, "Something's come up at home. Let's go."

I looked to Alyssa, and she sniffled hard. Nodding.

"Go ahead." She said, "I'll be okay." I nodded as well, hugging her briefly. I hugged Alex too, just so he would know how much I admired him.

They didn't even let me walk. The second we left the house, Emmett picked me up. Walking at a fast pace, I sensed the urgency, but I wouldn't ask.

As we got there, I quickly figured out that Alice was gone, and there was a certain type of depression settled around me, only adding to mine. I didn't ask.

Sitting with Esme on the couch, she held me into her side, and I would glance up. I hated whatever it was that made her so sad. Esme should never be so sad. Everyone else seemed so down, too, but Esme was hurting. It made me want to cry for another reason other than Mikah for once.

So I stayed with her. Letting her hold me, because I had to be honest, it did comfort me too. The TV stayed off now, which was very unlike Emmett. Carlisle stayed home, not leaving for his night job teaching, which was very unlike him. Jasper stayed downstairs with us, and Rosalie sat with Emmett.

For a hours, it was like this. Nobody moving, aside from Esme to stroke my hair. Nobody spoke, and I didn't want to break that silence. With Alice gone, I started to get nervous, though.

"Where is Alice?" I finally asked, "Why isn't she here?"

The second my voice made a sound, Rosalie stood up. Striding from the room.

"Sorry." I mumbled, watching after her.

"She had to take care of something." Jasper murmured, and I knew not to ask what that something was. I really started to worry then. Did this have anything to do with Mikah? If it did, they'd tell me. Wouldn't they?

I didn't ask again. I laid my head back against Esme's shoulder, like Alyssa had done to me, and I started to cry. Whatever was wrong, it was something big, and it worried me.

That night was one of the worst nights of sleep I'd gotten in awhile, and it lasted the entire next day. Deep into the next night when I fell asleep again. Alice had been gone almost two days now, and I didn't even know why.

However, I woke on the morning of the third day to find the mood had changed. I slowly descended the stairs, my bare feet not making a sound I could hear. All this tension was going to kill me if something wasn't different.

Nobody sat now. Everybody on their feet, discussing something that had my immediate attention.

"Do you really think it'll be alright to go back?" Jasper asked, "So soon after leaving?"

"I believe we'll be just fine. We were hardly there at all." Carlisle replied, "I think it's what's best. Especially if Edward is coming home."

"Go back?" I asked curiously. I normally didn't interrupt, but my entire focus was wrapped around that answer, "Back home?" I didn't know what changed, but I couldn't breathe, waiting for a reply.

This emotion was so different from the heartbreak that had settled into place lately, and I suddenly felt more focused. Awake. Like I'd been less than alive these last two weeks.

"Well, we know shorty's vote." Emmett spoke up. Allowing a small smile. Overnight, something had changed. The mood had lightened, relief and slight excitement in their expressions. It was impossible not to feel it.

"Are we going back?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful. I needed to know before I exploded.

Everyone waited, looking to Carlisle.

"Yes." He finally answered, "We're going back."

The abrupt change of my emotions made my head spin, but I didn't stop to focus on that. I made a light squealing noise with a wide grin, and turned, heading for the stairs to pack.

"Just the essentials, Leandra." Esme called after me, "We'll come back for everything else later."

As sad as I was to have to leave Alyssa behind, my whole life was there. I'd been born in Forks, and lived my entire life under that nearly constantly cloudy sky. Up until six months before, I'd never lived anywhere else.

As crazy as it was, I couldn't wait to get back to getting rained on almost every day. I would leave the sunlight behind, and never miss it.

I grabbed whatever I could think to take, smashing it into my bag as fast as I could. Pajamas, jeans, shirts. Socks, underwear. My hairbrush, and my toothbrush. I shoved everything in the bag, not caring in the least about neatness or order. Sitting on the bag, I zipped it up, and dragged it to the stairs. Kicking it down, I followed with my snow-globe in my hand.

I kicked it down the second set of stairs, listening to it tumble down ahead of me.

"That was quick." Emmett commented, lifting it for me.

It was then that I learned Alice had taken Carlisle's car, so we only had two. Rosalie's and Emmett's. I actually had no idea before that Rosalie had brought her car along.

I'd be riding with the guys, which I didn't mind at all.

Just like before, I had to stop first. I couldn't just leave, not saying goodbye to Alyssa. Carlisle didn't seem to mind this time either. Neither did Emmett or Jasper. That was probably why they chose to take me with them instead of having me go with Rosalie. To my relief, Alyssa was home.

She opened the door, confused, until I hugged her.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"We have to leave." I told her, pulling back, "We're going back." She had to take a minute. Unable to say anything at first. When she did, I could tell this was hard on her.

"I wish you didn't have to go." She admitted, "But I get it." She sighed, "Come inside first. I want to give you something." I glanced back, and nobody seemed to rush me.

Following her inside, she led me up the stairs, and into her room. I watched her as she stepped across the room, to Mikah's bed again.

"He was going to give you this." She said, and I slowly crossed the room. Sitting beside her on his bed, "Before the fight that day with Jon." Slowly, she reached over, handing me a small box. Like the one she'd shown me that day, but a light purple color instead. I almost hesitantly raised the lid, looking in at the necklace.

I lifted out the delicate chain, the dark red flower pendant catching my eye instantly. The stones shined at me in a beautiful way, and I realized. The dark red was meant to represent my birthstone, which was the ruby. Over the dark red flower, was a line of white stones set into the shape of an 'L'.

"This was with it." She murmured, handing me a thin piece of paper. I unfolded it, looking at the words written on it. One sentence. Four words.

'I will do something.' Was all it said.

"I don't know what that means." She admitted quietly, "Do you?"

I couldn't breathe. So suddenly crying. A few deeply felt sobs escaping before I could stop them. Covering my mouth, I muffled them.

"Leandra?" She asked, and I couldn't speak yet.

I had a feeling I did know. The last conversation I ever had with him, was about Jack. About how I should have said something the day Jack came into the store, so he could have done something. Could that be the reason he so suddenly took off? Could he have had his dad drop him off somewhere?

I couldn't help reminding myself. He never would have just left Alyssa without giving her some sort of explanation. Maybe he was going to, but got into the fight with Jon instead.

"I didn't find that until last night." She continued, no longer pressing, "It was hidden back behind the drawer here." She opened the bedside table drawer, "Meaning, he wanted to keep it safe. You made him happy, Leandra." I cried even more at those words, "I don't know how you did it, but you changed him. In a good way, don't worry, but he wasn't the same."

I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I just kept my eyes on the pendant. Watching it shake along with the rest of me with my left over sobs.

"And I lied." She said, and I looked up, "I lied when I said I didn't know what the fight was about. I heard the whole thing."

"What was it about?" I had to ask, sniffling.

"You." She replied quietly, "Jon was mad, still pissed off about you hitting him that night. He was mad at Mikah for spending so much time with you because of it. Jon said something about Mikah having more of an opportunity to teach you a lesson about respect. Since, Jon said, you were too chicken to come back and face him." She paused as I looked down, "Jon wanted Mikah to be the one to stand up for Jon, since Jon couldn't do it himself."

"That's when he hit him?"

"No." She said, "Jon told him to make it a good lesson, since he loved you so much." I shuddered, knowing what that meant. Mikah would never do anything like that. I knew that for a fact, "Mikah hit him after Jon called you his new little whore."

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes down. Mikah was defending me. That's what started the fight.

"I'm sorry." I finally cried, looking over at her. Her expression softened significantly.

"I don't blame you, Leandra." She said, and I heard the truth in her voice, "I don't. I never did. That's just Mikah. I'd have been surprised if he _didn't_ hit Jon for what he said." She paused, going quiet for a few moments, until she sighed, "We'll keep in touch, right?"

"Yes." I said immediately, hugging her again, "I promise."

Thankfully, she didn't object to me just giving her my e-mail address. She gave me hers, and we headed down the stairs together. I had to hurry this up, and I knew that.

She gave me another, tighter hug on the porch.

"I'll never forget you." She told me, "Or everything you did for us. I can't thank you enough."

"I won't forget you either." I replied, hugging her just as tight, "You gave me so much." And it was true. For however short of a time, she and her family gave me a human influence. Somehow, this bothered me more than leaving Josh. This was harder. Maybe because I'd gotten attached to her family, too? More than Josh and Zack.

I suddenly wished I had more time, but I knew I didn't. I took a breath and pulled back. Forcing a smile as she forced one too.

"Thank you." I told her, "For everything."

She actually smiled a little, "Thank _you_."

Once back at the jeep, I crawled over Emmett to get into the backseat instead of getting in on the other side. Mainly because I desperately needed to keep crying. Already in tears before Emmett shut the door again.

Nobody commented as we left, understanding how hard it was for me to leave her.

"What is that?" Emmett asked, peering over at the box in my hand. I sniffled, handing it to him.

"It's my fault he's gone." I murmured, trying to calm down.

"No it's not." Emmett was the first to correct me, "Don't see it that way, shorty."

"I have to." I said, "He wouldn't have hit Jon if it weren't for me. You heard her."

"Yeah, well.." He muttered, "He'd better be glad he wasn't home when I heard about that. Mikah hit him defending you. He was protecting you."

"I know." I mumbled, "So it's my fault."

"No it's not." He laughed, handing the box back to me, "Shorty, remember when you asked me if all boys played rough?" I nodded, "Well, the same goes for defending or protecting a female. For the most part, it's how the dude's raised, but sometimes, it's just instinct. That isn't your fault, shorty."

That helped a little.

"And that's how you know Mikah is a good guy." He said, nudging me a little, "I like him."

"Why are you still talking about him like he's around?" I asked, looking over, "That bugs me."

"Sorry, shorty." He smiled a little, and it got quiet.

All the way back, I couldn't help dwelling on how much I'd learned about myself during the last six months. Apparently, I was resilient. Whatever that meant. My gift was getting stronger, without me even noticing.

I'd been banned from trying to remember more than I should, and for the most part, I obeyed. I just couldn't help recalling what I already did remember. I held onto remembering Mikah as much as I could. Standing there, smiling. Would I still see him again?

In my vision, he was immortal. I suddenly felt better with one seamless thought. Maybe this was how it was supposed to happen. The only explanation of why he had been gone for so long without a word to anyone was that he had been turned.

That's what Emmett had been trying to tell me. He wasn't dead. Just missing. He'd show up. Of that, I was sure. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Maybe the silence of the car helped me.

I smiled, unable to help it, thinking about him. Instead of worrying, I'd just remember him. If I did manage to see him again, I'd be the happiest kid on the face of the planet.

"You could have said something." I said, looking over at Emmett. For a second, he seemed confused, until he grinned.

"I wanted to see you connect the dots." He replied, "Took you long enough, didn't it?"

"Shut up." I laughed a little, "I've been distracted."

"So stop worrying about him, would you?" He chuckled, "I hate seeing you so sad, and he's probably having the time of his life."

"So protective." I muttered, rolling my eyes a little.

"Someone's got to watch over you." He countered, "And beat the shit out of anyone who hurts you."

"What happens when you can't?" I asked, and he looked over.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno." I sighed, shrugging, "Just what if?"

"That'll never happen." He said, grinning, "Just say the word, shorty." I smiled, looking back out the window.

I also learned, during this trip, just how much I missed home.

I refused to let Carlisle stop for the night. I was far too excited, anyway. After my initial sadness at leaving, I had to get there as soon as we could. Just to see it again.

Just like on our way there, we were making excellent time. Nearly straight shot, nearly no stops.

I only allowed one stop for food, and refused all the other offers. I cursed myself when we did _have_ to stop to find me a bathroom. I ignored it for as long as I could, and there was one close call, but I made it. By sprinting into the gas station, but I made it.

"Run, shorty!" Emmett called after me, amused. I didn't wait as long to speak up after that.

The day faded, and we continued on. When I did get tired enough to snooze, I just used Emmett as a pillow, or I curled up on the seat.

Morning came, and went, and the closer we got, the more edgy I got. I was excited, sleep so far from my mind. Before I knew it, we'd made a forty-five hour drive in less than twenty-four. Just by cooperating, and refusing to stop for longer than thirty seconds.

It also helped having Emmett there keeping me occupied.

Mini slap fights, which I'd always win, would break out. I'd shove him over when he'd 'unintentionally' take up too much room, and we'd bicker. He'd say something just to provoke me into a light-hearted argument. Just to keep me from being bored to tears. Probably once, I actually did get irritated, and fell silent for about an hour, but that was it.

Esme and Rose got there long before we did, not having to stop at all except to get gas, and I was surprised to find they'd already gotten most of the furniture back in the house by themselves, given my glance into the house.

Out front of the house, I hesitated as Emmett and Jasper made their way inside around me. Emmett and Carlisle greeting Esme and Rosalie lightly on the porch.

An unexplainable emotion in my throat, I couldn't move yet. I stared up at the house as if it'd been years since I'd been home. I loved it here. I loved everything about the house.

"Finally." I mumbled, catching Carlisle and Esme's attention on the porch. Cold rain poured on me, drenching me as I hesitated, standing there. They stood safe from the rain on the porch, looking down at me.

"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, concerned. My smile eased his concern, though. I noticed that immediately. I couldn't begin to describe my happiness. Like I might explode at the amount of it.

Emmett, seeing me standing there in the rain, left the safety of the porch to join me.

My previous problems forgotten as he lifted me. Swinging me up into his arms easily, and sitting me on his shoulder. Spinning me around, slowly by his standards. I laughed, holding on as much as I could.

"I've missed the rain." I commented when he finally stopped, "I don't wanna go inside yet."

"Good." He said, "Because I don't either." I hardly noticed Esme taking my bag from the jeep.

At first, Emmett kept me occupied by throwing me up in the air, and catching me as I fell back down. Probably showing off, because he could show off again without any possibility of anyone seeing.

The first toss, I wasn't having that much fun, and I was scared, until he caught me easily. He knew just how to catch me so it hardly hurt to land in his arms. He'd spin me when he caught me, making me dizzy before tossing me in the air again.

The second toss, and we'd gained the attention of the others by the sound I made. Somewhere between a squeak, and a laugh.

"Emmett." Esme scolded from the porch, but I knew she wasn't upset with him.

"Higher." I requested, grinning.

One more toss, and I swear I left my stomach below me. I trusted him not to let me hit the ground, but it was still scary going up that high. Being able to see into the second floor window was high enough for me.

He didn't throw me again, despite my constant breathless laughs.

"Leandra?" Esme called, smiling from the porch, "Come get changed." That meant my room was done. I fought from Emmett's arms, and ran toward the house. Nearly tripping up the steps, but recovering. I raced passed Esme, straight into the house and up the hall.

I paid no attention to everything else already back in the house. My sights were on one room in particular. I caught myself on the door frame, flinging myself through the open door. Straight across the room and took a flying leap onto my bed.

I sobbed loudly in happiness as I landed face down, trying to hug the mattress. I wasn't moving. My entire room was put back together already.

"I'm never leaving my room." I announced as I bounced a little.

"Off the bed." Esme laughed behind me from the doorway, "You're still wet."

"But it's my bed." I mumbled, not lifting my face off the mattress, "I'm never, ever, ever leaving it ever again. Ever. Never, never."

"Go take a shower." Esme laughed again, "Get warm, honey." I groaned, but obeyed. I was rather cold. Doing a roll off the other side of the bed, I gathered clothes at the speed of light, hardly realizing that Esme had already put my clothes away for me. Everything was right where I left it before we left six months ago. That elated me, and I practically ran into the bathroom.

I squealed in happiness this time, as it was just like I remembered it.

I couldn't begin to describe how happy I was to be home. Like the last six months were spent on some sort of hellish vacation. Though I did love the house in New York, I was never leaving this one. I loved it too much. It provided more of a sense of safety to me. This house defined the meaning of the word to me. It was private, but open. Lighter colors instantly brightened my mood. This house was home to me.

Happier, even, than I had been with Mikah. Happier than I was with Alyssa, or Josh. Happier than I'd ever been, just by coming home after spending so much time away from it. The way it looked, the scent, the sound of the rain outside the wide open doors, I loved it. The kitchen, the hallway, the rooms and the stairs, everything about it was my favorite thing.

My warm shower couldn't be rushed, though. It felt so much better than staying soaked to the skin in cold rain. However, I still had the energy I had before the second I got out.

Now in my pajamas, I squeaked as I crossed the hall again. Taking another flying leap, and landing directly on my bed again. Cuddling my pillow to me as I stopped bouncing. I squealed again, flopping over excitedly to face the door, and hugging the pillow closer.

I wasn't in there very long. Maybe just over an hour, just enjoying being home.

"Happy?" Emmett poked his head in. I grinned, my eyes still closed, nodding vigorously, "Good, now get dressed."

"I'm not leaving." I laughed, "Never, ever."

"Come on, shorty." He laughed as well, "We want to be there waiting when they get to the airport."

"They?" I asked, confused.

"Alice, Edward and Bella." He answered, "They're coming back." I wanted to ask where they went, but I didn't. I was too cooperative to care.

"O-kay." I whined, "But the second we get back, _then_ I'll never, ever leave."

I rolled off the bed again, and closed the door in Emmett's face.

"Five minutes, shorty." He chuckled out in the hall.

I chose a pair of baggier jeans, and a sweater. I braided my long hair loosely down my back, and came running out within three. Taking yet another flying leap, and landing on the couch like I landed on my bed. The couch was a bit firmer than my bed was, though, and it knocked the breath from me for a moment.

"Well, this is a pleasant change." Emmett chuckled, probably referring to my behavior, "Who knew it'd be so easy to make you so happy?"

"I never wanted to leave." I reminded him, rolling over onto my back and looking up at him.

"I'm just happy to see you so happy." He smiled, helping me to stand up on the couch, "I don't think you've ever been like this before." I bounced a little, holding onto his hands.

Carlisle chose then to descend the stairs, and I smiled over at him. I wanted him to see how happy I was now. He returned my smile, calmer of course. Emmett chuckled, and turned to walk away, but I bounced up, landing on his back like a backpack. He caught me easily, supporting my weight so I didn't fall. Hugging his neck tightly, I laughed a little. He didn't seem to mind my happiness. Nobody did.

Least of all Jasper who stood back observing calmly. I knew it was a very welcome change for him too, especially after the last few weeks. Or months. Or years. I'd never felt like this before.

"You sure are affectionate when you're happy." Emmett pointed out with a laugh, "Who are you, and what have you done with shorty?"

"I'm just _so_ happy to be home." I replied with a grin, resting my chin on his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I sighed contentedly.

I knew I'd probably drop like a ton of bricks when this excited energy left, but for right then, I didn't care. I couldn't stop smiling, and my cheeks hurt.

I eventually had to let him go, so we could get going.

The trip to the airport was hard to sit through, mostly because there wasn't room to run around in the backseat, but I knew I couldn't run around the airport, either. It had already started to get dark by the time we got there, and Emmett didn't trust me not to run off, so he carried me most of the way. Which was probably a good idea, because there were people everywhere.

We'd gotten there with about ten minutes to spare, so I could see why Emmett had been in a rush.

"Why did they leave?" I asked, unable to help it anymore.

"Long story short," Emmett answered, "Eddy lost his mind there for a minute. Bella had to help him find it." I accepted that answer.

"And Alice had to get her there so she could." I added, and he chuckled, nodding, "Now I'm all caught up."

Once they got there, Emmett and I stood back while everyone else greeted them, and Esme started in on Edward's scolding. Relieved, of course, and once again, I couldn't stop smiling. Getting to see this, everyone else getting reunited, I sensed the intense relief, and I knew it had been a tad more dangerous than Emmett was letting on.

Emmett set me on my feet only to take his turn greeting Bella. Freeing me enough for me to jump at Alice. She greeted me by catching me and holding me up.

"We're home now." I told her happily, grinning.

"I heard." She replied, returning my grin, "That must be why you're so happy." I nodded enthusiastically.

"Not just that." I added, "But you guys are back." I looked over, meeting Bella's eyes. The other human in their life, I knew they cared about her as much as they cared about me. Glancing back, I laughed a little, "Sorry. I'm hogging her."

I released Alice so Jasper could greet her again, kissing her gently. I smiled a little, landing beside Esme. She placed her arm around my shoulders, hugging me into her side as I held her hand. Watching.

Despite the way I usually never saw Edward, for the last six months, it had easily felt like something was missing, but not anymore.

We didn't spend that much time at the airport, actually. We just had to be there to greet them. Like any family would. I couldn't help it, however. I greeted Edward with a hug once I had an opening, which he returned.

I realized then. Bella had been what was missing before. During Christmas, when he seemed so tired, as if he'd lost the one reason to exist. That was Bella. His reason to exist was Bella. It was then I realized just how much they meant to each other.

"You're sticking around, right?" I asked, looking up at him as I stepped back.

"It's safe to say." He agreed with a smile. I returned his smile.

"Good." I said, giving him a nod, and turning. Esme lifted me, probably to keep me from wandering too far, "Because you cause enough trouble to keep things interesting." His smile widened, and I grinned in return. That seemed to amuse everyone else, too.

Edward was brave enough to be the one to take Bella home.

I did crash hard that night. I fell straight to sleep in the backseat on the way home. I never woke up while being brought into the house, and I never woke up to be placed in bed. I did wake up, though, when I rolled over much later.

Opening my eyes when I rolled over, I noticed it was dark in my room. The fear made an appearance, and it was enough to wake me up.

Once the initial happiness was gone, I realized why the family thought it would be good to take me away from this town and this place. The sound of the rain against the window that I'd missed so much seemed to hold a warning now.

Maybe it was just from an old memory. Maybe it was my own imagination, but I heard it. Loud and clear. If it was so easy to find where I was in New York, I knew Jack would have no problems finding me here, and considering I was on a lower floor again, I looked to the window.

Rolling out of bed, I crossed the room to the window. Kneeling on the wide, padded seat beneath it, I reached up. Making sure it was locked. Hesitantly returning to my bed. I kicked my feet, crawling back under the blanket.

It was stupid to be afraid, because I knew he couldn't get within thirty feet of the house without everyone knowing immediately. None of them having met him, though, would they recognize his scent if it showed up?

I comforted myself with the thought that Carlisle and Alice would, because they'd been where I lived before, but that had two other scents, at least, mixed with it. That could be why they couldn't find him in New York.

As a distraction, I briefly wondered how bad that house had smelled of blood to them. It had been everywhere. Just thinking about that house, though, sent a wave of unease through me. Intensifying the fear.

Laying awake in the dark, I hadn't done this before. Just laid here.

Slowly, the fearful anticipation started to fade, and I started to calm down. The sound of the rain became just that. Just rain. I was safe here, I told myself. I was safe here. I was safe.

I fell back to sleep with those thoughts, but even repeating those words to myself, I couldn't help feeling like I was lying to myself. That was the scariest thing about that night. The icy sensation of nervousness stayed, keeping my heart beating faster.

Carlisle was at work by the next day, so I couldn't tell him. The happiness from the day before was gone. The fear from the night before overwhelming it.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett noticed. I forced a smile.

"Nothing." I knew it was stupid to say that.

"I don't buy that." He replied, narrowing his eyes a little.

It was probably my light trembling that gave me away. Or the fact that I'd jump at every little sound around me. I should have listened to the fact that this nervousness bordered terror. I was scared, but I kept telling myself that I had no reason to be. I tried to ignore it.

Three more days passed, and Alice just started to notice, or at least started asking me about it, so I hid myself away. Every day, it got a little more intense. I wondered to myself. Could anyone predict the day of their own death?

That's how it felt to me, and I did what I could to ignore it. As happy as I was to be home, it didn't feel safe anymore. That's what it was. For no reason at all, that sense of safety was gone now.

It was getting bad. I sat in my room that afternoon, knowing I had to talk to Carlisle soon. As soon as he got home, I was going to say something. Until then, I'd hide. I wouldn't come out.

Until Esme called for me.

"Leandra, can you please come outside?" Her tone of voice bothered me instantly.

I worried. What would upset her?

I hesitantly came outside, half expecting to see Jack, but he was nowhere to be found. Looking at Esme curiously as I slowly descended the steps, standing right in front of the porch. Given the way everyone else was outside as well, it only made me more worried. I stood between Esme and Emmett to my left.

Esme attempted a calm tone, but I could hear her emotion in each word, "Honey, this woman is here to see you."

I looked over, meeting the eyes of a woman with long brown hair, and lighter brown eyes. Her appearance made me immediately recognize her as someone important. A folder in one arm, clasping her hands in front of her, and a smile I didn't trust on her face.

"Hello, Leandra." She smiled at me. I looked up nervously at Esme, looking for her comforting smile, but it never came. Esme gently stroked my hair, though, but that wasn't enough. That only made me more nervous. I eyed this woman with distrust.

The woman reached out and gently took my hand, despite my attempts to yank it free. I managed to, but she took my other hand.

"Stop." I told her, my tone quiet. I didn't like this.

She smiled at me, "Just come on over here a moment, if you wouldn't mind."

I did mind. I minded a lot. I couldn't have minded any more than I minded right then. Why wasn't anyone doing anything?

"It's okay, honey." Esme told me, and for the first time, I didn't believe her. I looked up at Esme, confused. I couldn't figure out why she'd lie to me.

I didn't know this bitch. I wasn't moving. She wanted to pull me away, to separate from my family. Like she had every right to. That fact took my attention immediately.

Behind the woman, further in the drive, sat a running car with someone in the driver's seat. The gold colored car wasn't one I recognized, and I recognized the driver even less. He just sat there, watching.

"What's going on?" I finally demanded, not liking the cornered feeling I got from her hand clasped around my wrist. She slowly managed to tug me a few steps away. My deep confusion only helping her. She waited until I was away from my family before she answered.

"I'm here to take you home." My eyes narrowed at her response, "Where you belong." I was deeply confused now. Both confused, and cautious. Home? I was home. I gave a confused look around, and nobody returned my look.

With a rush of sudden fear and panic that stole my breath, I caught on. I felt it rush through me, sudden understanding, from the top of my head to my toes, I was instantly terrified. I swear, my heart stopped for a second.

This woman was from the state, and she wanted to take me away. She wanted to take me 'home', and the only way that made sense was with my mom.

There was no way. No way this was happening. The sadness in my family's eyes as I looked sharply to them once more, with widened eyes this time told me I wasn't wrong. There was nothing they were able to do to stop this from happening, and I knew that. That's why they didn't do anything.

Heavy sobs immediately started, and I tried to run, but the official held me easily, nearly tugging me off my feet on the gravel of the drive. Her hand moved from my hand, to my arm. Restraining me now. Lightly, but it was enough to make me panic even more. I couldn't pull away like I needed to.

"No!" I finally managed to gasp out, "No, no, no, no!"

"Listen, honey."

"Please!" I couldn't breathe anymore, fear squeezing my heart painfully. She tugged me back. Headed for the car.

She eventually had to physically move me, as I resisted her so much. She held my arm, and I dropped back. Despite the way my feet slid, I dug in. I wasn't being moved. Until she lifted me in one arm, holding me tightly despite how I writhed.

"I don't want to!" I cried, sobbing making my words nearly unintelligible, "Help me!"

Desperately kicking and fighting as she carried me further from my family. From the glance I had, I could see their emotions perfectly. Alice was deeply upset, as was Esme, that they couldn't help me like I repeatedly begged them. Emmett easily looked like he wanted to punch this woman unconscious.

She nearly wrestled me, practically throwing me into the backseat of their car. Closing the door before I could crawl back out, turning back to them. Thinking that was enough, but she had another thing coming.

I threw open the door and ran back to my family, clinging desperately to Emmett, practically clawing my way up his side until he held me. This had to be the biggest fit I'd ever thrown around them, but I didn't care. My fear was too deep to ignore. Jasper moved closer, unable to help it given the look in his eyes. They _wanted_ to help me, but they really couldn't.

"Honey." She was back.

"Don't call me that!" Loud, bawling sobs left me. My hold on Emmett's neck, my arms wrapped around it, wouldn't budge. I could tell by the way she didn't immediately try to pull me from him that Emmett's glare alone made her keep her distance. Just daring her to try.

"Leandra, you're only going to your mother-"

"No!" I cried, bawling as I tightened my hold, "You can't do that! You can't! Please!"

"She's waiting for you."

"He's there!" I bawled, "You're sending me back to him!"

"Honey, your stepfather isn't anywhere around." She assured me, "I promise you. We did a very thorough search of her home, and there was nothing to suggest anyone lives there with-"

"You're lying!" I accused, glancing back at her, "You're a goddamn liar!"

"I promise." She said again, "You'll be safe."

"Please!" I cried, "_No_! Don't make me go back to her. Please don't make me go back. I'll do anything. I'll do whatever you want, but please don't make me go back. Please! Please, please, please.." My breath choked off, and I had to take another to sob again.

"We're positive that you're going to be safe there." She stressed, "I understand why you're so scared, but I can tell you that you don't have to be."

She must have gotten up the courage, because I soon felt her hands pulling me from Emmett. Hesitantly at first, as she couldn't break my hold.

"No!" I clung tighter, "Let me _go_!" I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't make myself let go, "No! _Please_! I don't want to! I don't want to! I don't want to!" My voice broke with how hard I cried now, the panic stealing every rational thought.

I kicked at her, but that was only a mistake as that only made it easier for her. My cries only intensified as she tried again, and succeeded this time. Pulling me from Emmett when I wasn't strong enough to keep my hold. Emmett wasn't allowed to pull me away from her, and I knew that.

Literally pulling me away from my family, to send me straight back to hell.

"Emmett." Alice's firm voice told me he was three seconds from snapping. Before she could get me back into the car, Carlisle showed up.

I struggled harder, tears creating a river down my cheeks. She held me tight, letting me down on my feet as his car came to a stop beside theirs in the drive.

He climbed out of his car in a hurry, immediately striding around the front to our side. I yanked my arm from the woman's grasp, running the two steps forward and climbed into Carlisle's arms this time. Clinging to him desperately, my arms tight around his neck. He held me tight in return, probably trying to calm me down. He had to hear how fast my heart was beating.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked over the sound of my cries, "I was told recently that her mother had no intentions of reclaiming custody."

"She's changed her mind." The woman explained.

"She can do that?" Emmett demanded, "What about Leandra?"

"I understand that," Carlisle spoke again to the woman as he adjusted how I sat in his arms, "But I specifically asked if there was any chance this could happen, and I was told that there were many procedures she'd need to go through before you'd attempt taking her."

"And she's gone through them all."

"I only spoke with your office last week." Carlisle replied, a hint of disbelief in his voice. Considering it was Monday, that was a big deal.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, there's nothing I can do. I'm just doing my job-"

"And your job's going to get her killed." Emmett told her bluntly, "How do you sleep at night?" That only scared me more, announced by my louder cries.

"You're not helping the situation any." She told him sharply, "If you would just-"

"My only intention is helping her." Emmett countered, "Not the situation, and right now, I'm not liking what I'm seeing."

"We did a search-"

"Your search isn't good enough." He countered, "Is that a child that looks like she feels safe to you?"

"I understand your concern, but I assure you we've done everything we can to ensure her safety and well-being-"

"Liar!" I sobbed, knowing she heard me.

"Any further questions will have to be directed to the proper offices on Wednesday." She continued as if I hadn't said anything, "That's the soonest they can answer you, but right now, I have to take her. That's just how it is."

"What about her?" Emmett demanded again, "Look at her!"

"I see her." She was losing her patience, "Now if you'll please take a few steps back, I can do my job-"

"Again with your job!"

"Emmett." Esme spoke up now, "Please."

"I can't believe this!" Emmett was pissed. I'd never heard him so pissed, "Can you honestly tell me that this is _okay_ to you? Doesn't she matter? Do you even know what that woman put her through?"

"Her mother wasn't the one to inflict the abuse, and hasn't been charged with anything."

"It doesn't matter!" He replied, "Look at her! She-"

"She, sir, is ten years old." She countered sharply, "It isn't her job to decide where she is placed. It isn't my job to decide where she is placed, and it isn't your job to decide where she is placed. It's my job to see that she gets to where she's been placed, and it's your job to _step back_, before I have to call the authorities. You have _no _rights to her anymore. Plain and simple."

"Call them!" He insisted, "Call them, because I can't let you-"

"Emmett." Esme's firmer voice seemed to do it. Emmett spun, pacing away with both hands knotting into his hair.

"You won't be alone there a second." Carlisle told me, and I even heard how hard this was on him as well, "I promise you. We won't leave you there alone. We'll be there waiting for you when you get there."

His tone was so quiet, I knew the still arguing woman wouldn't be able to hear him. I clung tight to him, choking on my cries now. I could hardly breathe, much less speak. This was helping, though. Him holding me. However minimally, because I knew it couldn't last. His arm supporting me, his other hand on my back was starting to calm me down. At least enough to take a breath without having to gasp.

My trembles stayed, however. Shaking from head to toe, and I knew I would be able to stand on my own. All I could do was hold onto him, hoping the woman somehow forgot about me, and left me here.

"I don't want to go." I sobbed quieter now, "Please don't make me go. Don't let her take me. She's lying. I know she's lying."

"And the second we find anything wrong with that house, you'll be removed." He assured me gently, "I promise."

"You'll be there when I get there?" I whimpered, trying to keep my tone quiet. I needed assurances.

"We'll be there." Was his quiet reply.

She argued with a very upset Esme now, but I could tell Esme's gentler tone was easing the woman.

Until Emmett stepped forward again.

Over Carlisle's shoulder, I looked to the others again as I held on tight to him. Crying desperately, I could hardly see them. I was so scared. Alice and Jasper met my eyes first, sadly silently telling me what Carlisle was telling me. Rosalie kept her eyes down. She wasn't pleased either, but she wasn't arguing the way Emmett and Esme were.

The woman was threatening Emmett again with having the police called, and as funny as that seemed, I knew they didn't want that. Even if he was challenging her. His raising tone told me he was close to making a huge mistake. Even with Esme, and Rosalie's hand on his arm.

"Don't let me go." I begged, gasping for breath, "Please don't let me go back. I can't go back. Please." I couldn't help it. Even with his promises to be there when I got there, I couldn't stand it.

One last time, I felt myself pulled away.

"_No_!" I cried again, "No! Please!"

I desperately tried to cling to Carlisle, my violently heart-broken cries restarting as I was ripped from his arms right when I was starting to calm down. Right when I was starting to feel comforted again, I was pulled away.

Where I had been before, he was roughly handed the folder, a copy of the paperwork. Pleading with this woman did no good. She didn't hear me, or even Carlisle.

She carried me, kicking and struggling, back to the car.

"No!" I gasped for breath, "No! No, no, no!" She pried open the door and wrestled me back into the car.

This time, she climbed into the backseat with me. Ensuring I stayed. My cries stayed desperate. They didn't calm down. Loud, drawn out sobs signified how scared I really was. I struggled with her briefly, trying to claw my way up front until she pulled me back down.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle told me through the open window, "I'm so sorry, Leandra. I'm going to get you out of there. I promise." I couldn't stop begging.

"Don't let them take me." I begged repeatedly. I couldn't stop pleading, but even a small part of me knew they had no choice. They had about as much choice as I had. Without physically hurting these people, their hands were tied.

Don't bite her, I reminded myself forcefully. Don't bite her. Don't bite her. The driver started the car, and the last glimpse I had as we drove away was Emmett punching the side of the house.

I couldn't stop crying. What had I done to deserve this? Then I thought about it.

If my mom was well enough to take me back in, they would put me there, because the family must have gotten in trouble. Sudden moves, taking me from here, to New York, back to here, and without them following the condition set, it was easy to see why I'd be taken away.

It definitely made sense, but that didn't make this any easier on me.

My head ached with my sudden fierce storm of emotions, and for a moment, I wondered how the family was handling this. What were they doing now? What could they do to get me out of there? All those questions circled unendingly through my exhausted mind.

I didn't even know where I was going. I knew I was going to my mom, but where? Where had she ended up? I soon got my answer, even if it did confuse the hell out of me at first.

We only went as far as Port Angeles.

Many streets away from main street, but still rather busy, we entered a parking garage. Maybe this was some sort of apartment complex? We made it to the fourth level. Three levels below us, and two above us.

"Here, right?" The driver asked, the first time I'd heard him talk. I was confused again, which had calmed my crying.

"Yes." The woman answered. We pulled into a spot beside another car. I didn't think anything of it, because it was a place to park cars. Though I trembled, I had nearly no strength left to fight her with as she tugged me from the backseat.

She took my hand and she looked to the car beside us.

The windows were dark tinted, and I couldn't really see inside until someone opened the back passenger door and stepped out. I gave a quick struggle, but she used much more force with me this time, covering my mouth before I could scream.

"About time you showed up." Jack's smile met my fearful eyes, "I was starting to get nervous."

He reached into his coat, and pulled out three thick, solid stacks of cash. The woman continued to hold me, her hand tight over my mouth as I stared up at Jack. Actually seeing him for the first time in almost a year.

"Did you do it right?" He asked her.

I felt her nod, "It wasn't easy."

"Fake address? Fake number? Bull-shit reason?" Jack asked, and again, she nodded.

"The address listed is somewhere in Olympia." She told him, "And you have until Wednesday before they'll even figure out that it's fake."

"Ooh." He seemed impressed, "Good choice." He gave a glance around, hesitating for just a few more seconds, "Alright."

I was taken roughly by the arm, yanked away from the woman and shoved into the backseat before I could even really blink, or even think to make a sound.

I landed across the lap of someone sitting in the middle of the backseat. I didn't recognize her right away, but she righted me easily. Sitting me upright on her lap, and covering my mouth before I could start making a scene.

"Shh." She murmured into my ear, "Calm down, baby. You're okay." Behind her hand, I started to bawl yet again, confused and very shaken up. It really was my mother, so it hadn't been a complete lie. Up front in the driver's seat, Ken whistled under his breath. Not at all concerned at this very obvious kidnapping.

Jack climbed into the crowded backseat with us again, the woman that had brought me here walking back to her own car. Probably thousands of dollars richer. I didn't exactly know how much he'd given her.

The main reason for the backseat being crowded made a sound, and I looked over as Jack took me, pulling me half sideways, half backwards onto his lap with a heavy sigh.

The baby in the car seat made another sound, and my mom leaned over, checking on it underneath its blue blanket as Ken started the car. From what I could see of it, it was very young. Perhaps only a few months, maybe three or four months? I couldn't tell. I didn't have the most experience with babies. I had a feeling that I did know, though, who the father was. My stomach turned at the thought.

"Hello again, little bitch." Jack murmured into my ear as he gently gathered my hair from my neck, "I've really missed you. I'm going to take every cent of that fifteen grand from your ass."

**END**

**A/N: Sooo many things to say about this chapter. Where to begin?  
1) I think I defined the term, 'Roller-coaster of emotions' in this chapter. I even made myself dizzy. Holy cow.  
2) I've had this ending planned out since before the last chapter of the 'The Gift of Misfortune' came out. Yes. I do plan ahead, and I've been _so_ eager to get this one out.  
3) Yes. I do understand many people will probably be upset with me over this, but it _had_ to happen. Trust me. My beta tried to talk me out of this, because I've been so mean to her in this story, but no matter what way I thought about it, nothing sounded right.  
Okay, now the usual.  
THANK YOU to my amazing reviewers! You know who you are. :D  
To those of you who are kind enough to leave a review, I definitely look forward to your feedback.  
To those of you who choose not to review, who knows. One day I may earn a review from you. :D  
Alrighty.  
Chapter one of the next story may take some time, as I haven't put together chapters yet. I don't yet have a name, but I'm working on that. No worries. It'll be along probably within the next week or so. Hopefully sooner, but I'm giving myself a lot of room.  
I shall see you all in the next story. :D  
**


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